Feng Ning stood completely still, her expression shifting through hesitation, panic, defensiveness, before finally settling into indifference.
She turned back and started walking away.
He chased after her a few steps, moving to block her path.
After a standoff of a few seconds, Feng Ning walked around him.
Jiang Wen caught her by the arm, pulling her back urgently.
She struggled, couldn’t break free. Feng Ning stared at Jiang Wen, expression flat. “What are you doing?”
Jiang Wen looked at her, feeling as though every nerve in his body had been wound tight. “You… you have scars on your hand, don’t you…?”
His words hit like a sharp blow, sudden and violent, striking hard at her chest. Her mind rang. A wave of loathing rose up in Feng Ning’s eyes, and she couldn’t stop herself from letting out a cold laugh, twisting her wrist and yanking her hand free forcefully, her voice turning sharp and severe: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Not expecting such a strong reaction from her, Jiang Wen stepped back.
Feng Ning looked back at him coolly. “Who told you that?”
“The doctor.”
Hearing that answer, Feng Ning froze slightly for a moment, her mind racing. “You overheard when you were signing the slip for me?”
Seeing Jiang Wen nod, Feng Ning finally understood what had happened. She felt a flash of frustration — she’d nearly given herself away just now. Within a few short minutes, Feng Ning’s expression settled back into composure, and she said, “The scars on my hand — I had an accident the year before last, got cut by a falling piece of glass.”
“An accident?”
Feng Ning kept her expression unchanged. “Yes, my whole arm got cut up.”
She found a reason to explain her earlier loss of composure. “It’s not really a big deal, but the scars it left behind are pretty ugly. I’m a bit vain about that kind of thing, so I usually don’t show people.”
Jiang Wen: “Is it serious?”
“Just some superficial wounds. Looks scary, but it’s not serious.”
He fell silent for a moment, murmured, “I see, so that’s what it was.”
When she spoke again, Feng Ning’s tone had softened considerably. “Right, what else would it be?”
She seemed to find it genuinely funny. “The way you reacted just now, I thought I was about to jump off a building or something.”
Jiang Wen let out a breath too, relieved. “You could’ve just said so directly, why react like that?”
“If you hadn’t jumped straight to wanting to see my scars, would I have gotten upset?” Feng Ning rolled her eyes. “There’s a difference between men and women, you know?”
“Your temper really is something.”
They bickered back and forth a bit more, without much heat behind it, when a taxi pulled up.
Feng Ning opened the door and got in first. Once seated, she noticed Jiang Wen still standing there and said, “What, you’re not going home?”
Jiang Wen said, “You go ahead, I’ve still got something to take care of.”
Feng Ning shut the car door.
The taxi drove off, turned a corner, and Jiang Wen was quickly left behind.
From a line, to a single dot.
Feng Ning leaned back against the seat, silently gazing out the window. The lightness from a moment ago faded, and her feelings churned in disarray again.
Anything from the past — it was fine if anyone else knew. But Jiang Wen couldn’t.
Jiang Wen couldn’t know.
She didn’t want him to know that underneath her intact exterior, her heart had long since rusted through.
Shuang Yao spent two days in Shanghai before heading back to her hometown. The day before New Year’s Eve, she suddenly got a phone call.
“Hello, is this Shuang Yao?”
She didn’t recognize the voice and answered, “Yeah, this is Shuang Yao, who’s this?”
The other end went quiet for a moment. Shuang Yao was confused, pulled the phone away to check the caller ID — a Shanghai number.
The voice on the other end said, “It’s Jiang Wen.”
Shuang Yao froze. “Jiang Wen?”
He explained, “An old friend of Feng Ning’s.”
“Oh, right, right, I remember, I remember.” She caught on quickly. “You’re looking for me to…?”
“I wanted to ask you about Feng Ning.”
There was a pause, then he added, “If possible, please don’t tell Feng Ning.”
After hanging up, Jiang Wen told his assistant, “Book me a flight to Nancheng.”
“When?”
“Today.”
Jiang Wen thought back to how Feng Ning had looked that night.
He knew his own suspicion was, on its face, absurd — but once a thought like that took root, it grew wild like a weed, impossible to stop.
Shuang Yao never expected that one day Jiang Wen would ask to meet her alone. She had the strange feeling she might be dreaming.
Not wanting to embarrass Feng Ning, she went home after work specially to fix herself up.
Right before heading out, while changing her shoes, Shuang Yao paused, suddenly remembering something.
The meeting was set for seven-thirty in the evening. She arrived ten minutes early on purpose.
But someone was already there before her.
From several steps away, she could see Jiang Wen sitting there quietly, seemingly lost in thought.
Shuang Yao walked over, greeted him politely, and sat down across from him.
The two of them had no real connection, nothing much to make small talk about. Shuang Yao got straight to the point: “What did you want to ask me about Feng Ning?”
Jiang Wen said nothing.
Shuang Yao studied his expression and sensed something was off.
She tried to lighten the mood. “…Don’t scare me like this. Did Feng Ning borrow a million from you and skip town or something?”
Jiang Wen managed a strained smile.
After a pause, he said, evasively, “Feng Ning’s hand, she…”
Shuang Yao’s eyes widened in surprise. “You know about it?”
Jiang Wen paused, then said, feigning nonchalance, “Yeah, she told me.”
Shuang Yao looked a little confused. “…Then what did you want to ask me?”
Jiang Wen probed carefully, “Why did it happen?”
“Feng Ning didn’t tell you?”
Jiang Wen slowly turned his glass, watching her. “She didn’t say much.”
Shuang Yao’s expression turned troubled. “Her depression — it’s not really something I can talk about on her behalf. Feng Ning doesn’t like other people bringing it up either. For the details, you should ask her yourself.”
Jiang Wen’s hand froze where it was, as if he’d blanked out for a moment.
Shuang Yao didn’t notice anything off about him. “And besides, when it comes to this stuff, she doesn’t really tell me much either.”
Jiang Wen: “…How long has she been like this.”
“Hmm, let’s see.” Shuang Yao thought back. “A long time now. Before the college entrance exam, I think. I’m not entirely sure, but it should be after her mother passed away. That was a really rough stretch for her. It’s been better these past few years though, doesn’t come back often anymore.”
Jiang Wen had already vaguely guessed the answer. But hearing it confirmed directly from Shuang Yao still hit him hard, like something had been punched straight through his chest.
It hurt.
His throat tightened, and it took real effort to find his voice again. “So that was… right when we’d just broken up?”
“Around then, yeah, it was pretty severe at that point.”
Shuang Yao looked at him, hesitated, then said, “Honestly, I never really knew what happened between you two back then, why you broke up. Feng Ning was completely off back then, we argued about it more than once — I never dared ask her about you directly. But I always felt like, back then, she really hadn’t let go of you… that’s why she’s never had anyone else all these years.”
She studied him for a moment.
He looked a little dazed… an unmistakable trace of loss on his face.
As if steeling herself, Shuang Yao pulled out a few pieces of paper from her bag. “By the way, there’s also this. Feng Ning threw these away back then, and I fished them out of the trash and kept them for her.”
“Honestly, before coming here, I went back and forth a lot about whether to give these to you. I wasn’t sure if I was overstepping. Because whatever happened between you two, it’s long in the past now, and I’m just Feng Ning’s friend, not her — by rights I have no business meddling in her love life.”
Shuang Yao leaned forward slightly, pushing the few worn, creased pages across to Jiang Wen.
She said, “But… isn’t there a saying, the outsider sees clearest? You came all the way to Nancheng just to find me — neither of you seems like someone who’s actually let go. So… I think, maybe, there’s still some chance for you two.”
Jiang Wen said, “Thank you.”
“Ah, don’t thank me. Neither of you has had it easy. Keep these.” Shuang Yao picked up her bag and stood. “I’ve got somewhere to be, I’ll head off first.”
At the door, for some reason, Shuang Yao paused, turned back to glance at Jiang Wen.
He was still sitting exactly as he had been.
…
…
He pulled the cigarette pack out of his pocket, lit one. Realizing the café was non-smoking, Jiang Wen gathered his things, paid, and left.
His mind in a jumble, he drove aimlessly through the streets of Nancheng for a while, eventually parking near some plaza.
He smoked several cigarettes in silence, then turned on the overhead light and picked up the pages on the passenger seat.
In the dim light, he made out the contents — his hand trembled faintly, his breath catching.
On it was a familiar drawing of a drunk peacock, with a line of English written beneath it.
—Apologize to my little prince.
To my little prince.
Jiang Wen froze for a moment, faintly stunned.
A few seconds passed before his mind caught up again.
He rolled the window down, tried the lighter a few times — it wouldn’t catch.
He picked up the next page — something like a planning list, written a bit messily, in Feng Ning’s familiar handwriting.
Jiang Wen read through it in a daze, and suddenly it hit him like a thunderbolt.
- Science building √ (Got there right around noon, waited half an hour for classes to let out. College students are way more down-to-earth than I imagined.)
- North No. 2 Library where he studies √ (Saw the cypress tree by the entrance.)
- West No. 3 cafeteria √ (Didn’t have a meal card for the school, guess I won’t get to try the sweet-and-sour pork.)
- The track where he ran the 1500 meters √ (I went and ran it myself yesterday too.)
- The auditorium was locked, couldn’t get in (I’ll look up photos online later.)
- Lotus pond √ (Too bad it’s not summer yet, couldn’t see the lotus flowers in bloom.)
Oh, and I also went to your dorm building. From the outside, it looks pretty run-down — can a pampered little young master like you even handle living there?
Your campus is huge, I walked for a whole day and I feel like there’s still so much I didn’t get to.
On the train back, I thought.
Knowing we wouldn’t be together for long, I should have treated you better.
Jiang Wen’s heart pounded.
Feng Ning had gone to his school, afterward?
Countless thoughts raced through his mind, and he hurried to read the third page.
…
…
Actually, that time we ran into each other on the bus, I wanted to turn around and look back.
Did you keep following behind me afterward?
…
…
Summer’s almost here, I cut my hair short.
It rained a few days ago and I forgot my umbrella again.
Crossing the street, eating dinner, I don’t know why but I suddenly think of you.
……
……
I think I might regret it a little.
I should have tried to keep you.
…
…
Four sheets of paper, light as anything, weighing almost nothing at all — and yet the words scattered across them, hidden away, left Jiang Wen barely able to hold them steady.
A sharp, searing ache spread through his chest, something inside him beginning to collapse. Jiang Wen felt as though the whole world had gone hollow.
He sat there for a long while longer before, slowly, numbly, he turned to the last page.
He unfolded it carefully.
This time, there was only one short line on it:
Jiang Wen, I’m sorry.