The old lady had expected Qiao Shi would put up quite a struggle over the arrangement and had braced herself for it, but once Qiao Shi was summoned by Choutou and his wife, after just one night she agreed to everything.

Whether it was being sent to keep widow’s vigil at Jiangzhu, or being forbidden to ever step outside the estate for the rest of her life — she agreed to all of it.

There had to be something behind this, but the old lady chose not to ask.

She was old now, couldn’t manage everything, couldn’t afford to be so particular anymore — outside, how many people starved to death every day, and the Fourth Son hadn’t left his children a single good thing. This much was already better than nothing.

At least this group of children could get by under adult guidance, with a nominal legal mother watching over them — they wouldn’t be motherless children.

The day after Chen Siniu’s affairs were settled, early the next morning Qiqian’er gathered the whole family, calling together Xique, Lanting, and the other three branches, even Chang Lianfang, Xie Liuhao, and the Meng Wanquan household, all to the old lady’s courtyard to discuss matters concerning the Fourth Branch.

These were all formally allied kin by clan ties — sometimes, blood relatives proved less reliable than these adopted kin; treat each other well long enough, and they truly became family.

As for Qiao Shi, the old lady held to one single resolve her whole life — she wouldn’t allow her into the courtyard, and so she wasn’t allowed in.

She merely had one of the household women set a small stool by the doorway, letting Qiao Shi listen from outside through the doorframe.

Qiao Shi had been out of sorts these past few days, and still hadn’t fully returned to herself — whatever others told her to do, she simply did. As for whatever scheming she’d once harbored in her heart, it had long since vanished, frightened clean away.

Sitting there, Qiao Shi thought, neither glad nor sorrowful: who am I, really? How did I end up here?

She closed her eyes, pretending to return to long ago, when she was in the bloom of youth, living a fairly comfortable life at home — occasionally squabbling with her cousins hard enough to pull hair over a bolt of bright fabric, but still, it was a carefree kind of life, one with something to lean on.

Later, when she came of age and was preparing to marry, her husband’s family ran a dental medicine shop; the betrothal gifts sent over were quite respectable, including two bolts of brilliant red satin from the provincial capital. Her mother said one bolt should be kept aside for her brother’s future wedding, and she’d cried herself to sleep that night in resentment, soaking her pillow — yet the satin was never hers to keep. Even after marrying, whenever she recalled this, she still couldn’t quite let it go.

Even so, she’d been a county-town girl raised on fine rice, never having gone hungry, blessed with good looks, and known for her fine needlework — life at her husband’s family was quite good too… but that “quite good” came to an end one afternoon.

That afternoon, a new official arrived in the small county town; his carriage train rolled straight through the streets. She stood peering out from her own doorway and watched a long procession of carts hauling that official’s household belongings.

More than a dozen sturdy donkeys pulled carts stacked three layers high with identically sized trunks, painted in vermilion lacquer, their edges bound in the bright copper color achievable only by melting down new coins — in her whole marriage, her own father had never given her even a single such trunk with copper fittings; her dowry chests had been of plain, flimsy wood, not even moth-proof.

She’d wanted just one pair of camphor-wood chests — yet this household had ten cartloads.

The county magistrate’s wife’s carriage came last, a great bell hanging beneath the animal’s neck, its ring audible long before it even reached the street.

The noble lady sat inside her carriage, the curtains drawn tight so her face couldn’t be seen, an aura of severity that inspired both fear and envy. Her attending women wore padded jackets without a single patch, trotting alongside the carriage in small quick steps…

Even the shoes the maidservants wore had pigskin toe-caps, the kind of fine low-cut shoes that sold for two hundred coins a pair in the shops.

She was consumed with envy, so distracted at her needlework that her awl slipped and pierced half a fingertip through the sole she was working on — the pain made her whole being tremble.

She thought, we’re both living people — how could someone else live like that, while she couldn’t? She couldn’t understand it, and couldn’t accept it either.

She kept thinking, surely it shouldn’t be this way? And why should it be this way at all?

Back then she’d thought that was wealth — but life took its turns, and slowly she came into money herself, moved to Qingfeng, then to Yandu, and her horizons broadened; that old idea of wealth no longer seemed like much at all.

Once, during the Mid-Autumn Festival, that grand old lady from the Third Branch had worn a hairpin with a bird-beak ornament hung with a pearl the size of a thumb — not even the finest goldsmith’s shop in the Yandu market had such a pearl; it was something money simply couldn’t buy.

The truly wealthy families of Yandu possessed things that money couldn’t purchase, things that had nothing to do with money at all — they carried with them a kind of respect wherever they went, a respect that couldn’t be measured in coin.

Qiao Shi thought back to a distant time, when she’d first tasted a bit of respect — her husband had become a soldier then, and on the rare occasions they entered a town, no one dared trouble them.

Though life was unstable, moving with the army back and forth, at least people called her “sister-in-law” with some respect. Then one day, Chen Laosi came home in tears with a bundle of silver, saying his elder brother had died, and this was the compensation given from above.

The bundle wasn’t large; once opened, out rolled three plump silver ingots. Chen Laosi said, is this all my brother’s life was worth — just these three?

He then broke down sobbing, but that night, Qiao Shi couldn’t sleep. At first she thought of her children back home — if she could send them some support, she might feel more at ease living out here.

So she got up, quietly unwrapped the cloth bundle, and took one ingot. In the deep of the night, tossing and turning, unable to sleep, she thought again — could Chen Laosi even be relied upon? There’d been no end of deaths ahead of them, more dying all the time — shouldn’t she have some means to protect herself? Otherwise, what was the point of being with him at all?

So she got up again, took another ingot, wrapped it tightly in a handkerchief, and tucked it close against her chest before finally drifting into a fitful sleep.

At daybreak, feeling Chen Laosi pulling something from her arms, she startled awake and wouldn’t let go, clutching it even as she watched him cry, refusing to release it no matter what.

Chen Laosi, with no other choice, went out.

That evening, she stayed in the room clutching the silver, not daring to go out, her conscience so troubled it felt near to breaking, when she heard Chen Laosi telling the old lady: Mother, elder brother is gone, and they’ve given our family two guan in compensation…

The old lady broke into loud wailing: Heaven strike me down, the son I carried in my own body, a life worth a hundred catties of flesh, only worth two guan? Chen Laosi said, this is already good — many others got nothing at all… not even a grave.

What could the old lady do? In the end she had no choice but to accept it, sitting there crying until she nearly fainted.

The silver bundle clutched against her chest fell to the ground, and in that instant she thought — something wasn’t right… Chen Laosi wasn’t a good man.

Sitting by the doorway now, Qiao Shi thought, unable to see the sky: if only I hadn’t touched that silver that night, what then?

Back then I was still clean, and I’d already borne him several children — if I’d said I wanted to leave, could Chen Laosi have really stopped me?

But in the end, she was no longer clean.

Now that grand old lady from the Third Branch wouldn’t even let her die — she had to live through this torment, had to be worn down to a dried husk before she could atone for the sins of stripping the dead in the other three branches, of abusing the elderly, of murdering her own husband…

Were there really so many sins?

Qiao Shi felt not the slightest relief at escaping guilt in her heart — she was finished! Over at Jiangzhu they’d build her a hall to keep widow’s vigil in as a devout Buddhist; all that remained of her use was her title as legal mother, meant to secure a future for those children.

Beyond that, she was of no use at all.

Qiao Shi knew full well that if not for Xique, for Lanting, for the two lives of her own children who’d died so wrongfully, the Chen family would never have given her the slightest chance to live.

Old Woman Shi, sitting beside her, still simple-minded as ever, seeing Qiao Shi in despair, cautiously tried to comfort her: “Madam, it’s already come to this — you, you should try to let it go.”

This was already more than fair — her husband was gone, and yet the Chen family, out of decency, was here arranging a way for her to live, planning her future, without the slightest sign of taking advantage. How could this mistress be so foolish?

Couldn’t she at least say something gracious? Whose family’s kindness comes blowing in on the wind like that — considering the foul reputation the two of them had earned?

Old Woman Shi almost wished she could go kowtow to the ancestors in the courtyard herself on her mistress’s behalf.

Inside the courtyard, two accountants brought from Yandu were busy clicking away on their abacuses, tallying up Chen Siniu’s household accounts.

The old lady sat in the middle, listening intently as Qiqian’er laid out the arrangements for the Fourth Branch household.

Xique leaned against Dingxiang, her eyes staring blankly ahead. The child had grown up on Qinwei Lane, and though her face had been scarred by misfortune in her early years — mostly healed over these past years — the accumulated troubles had worn away this child’s respect for her parents.

Even worn away as it was, he was still her father, which made it all the more hopeless.

She lived at the old family estate, doted on by the old lady, given food and clothing no different from the young ladies of Liubu Lane; outsiders only said how fortunate she was — an official for a father, a prince for a cousin, and though her other older brothers weren’t especially close to her, they still backed her up. Stepping outside, she was treated as an equal, smiled upon just like any other legitimate young lady from a proper household.

But was it really the same? Grandmother was growing old, and this little girl understood one thing very clearly — without Grandmother, their Fourth Branch would be nothing at all.

Having grown up on Qinwei Lane, she saw things differently from her mother Qiao Shi. Though Qiao Shi constantly made excuses behind closed doors, cursing endlessly, always seeking sympathy from her — she wasn’t foolish. She knew her mother was greedy, and she knew her father was worthless, without virtue.

This made it all the harder to hold her head up.

And yet this family, for her and Lanting’s sake, had still gone to such trouble and expense here, ultimately conceding ground — while her mother, to this day, had never once said a word of thanks to anyone.

Why was that?

It only deepened her sense of inferiority. Even when others were willing to play with her, she couldn’t learn Lanting’s knack for it — the ability to grow up carefree on Liubu Lane, making friends at the neighborhood school, living without a worry in the world.

The clicking of the abacus beads struck at this little girl’s very soul — each click made her heart clench.

Dingxiang, sensing something was wrong with her younger sister, reached out and stroked her hair to comfort her: “Don’t be afraid, Xique. You’re the eldest sister, raised by Grandmother herself — your sisters-in-law all know your character, they won’t think ill of you. You need to pay attention — these matters concerning your family, you can’t avoid them, you need to keep track, understand?”

Xique’s trembling shoulders stilled, and after a long while she was finally compelled to look up, glancing toward the doorway, then at the silent relatives seated around her.

She looked at the old lady, pleading: “Grandmother, I’m scared.”

The old lady’s heart ached, but this time she didn’t reach out to pull her into an embrace as she once would have — she only said, tears welling, “Child, you’re grown now, you understand? Listen carefully, and don’t be afraid~!”

Qiqian’er, seeing the old lady’s mood faltering, cleared her throat and said: “Everyone’s been worn out these past few days. Once we finish up today, we can all rest easy — tired or not, let’s just push through today. The Fourth Branch’s residence in western Yandu is in quite a mess, so the accounts won’t be sorted out right away. For now, let’s discuss the two remaining concubines.”

With this interjection, the old lady’s anger flared all the more, and she cursed through gritted teeth: “That mother-killing wretch who dragged my son to his death! Death by a thousand cuts wouldn’t satisfy my hatred!”

The old lady was cursing Concubine Xiaorou.

Qiao Shi, sitting by the door, flinched and slid off her stool onto the ground.

Old Woman Shi, attending her, was quick enough this time to help her up, but Qiao Shi quietly shrank back into the corner of the doorway, very much afraid of being seen in this state.

Madam Li looked up and addressed the group: “I asked Niu Yuegui, the one who bore Fifth Blossom, last night — she doesn’t seem to want to stay. Says she wants to go back to her hometown.”

Qiqian’er thought a moment and asked the old lady: “Grandmother, she did bear the Chen family a daughter after all — if she wants to leave, we can’t very well keep her. She’s still young, and if we kept her, it might breed resentment sooner or later. What do you think?”

The old lady thought: “What kind of person is she?”

Qiqian’er answered: “An honest sort, doesn’t talk much…” She pointed toward the doorway: “She was found through that one.”

The old lady nodded: “Let her go then. Don’t send her off empty-handed — give her a few guan to protect herself, so that once she’s left our household she’ll still have something to live on. Go tell her, if she misses her daughter, she can visit the Jiangzhu estate. Once Fifth Blossom is grown, if she wants to visit her birth mother, we won’t stop her.”

Qiqian’er nodded, glancing at the pile of contracts scattered about, sorting through them for a moment before pulling one out and setting it aside.

Seeing Qiqian’er sorting through the contracts, Madam Li stood up as well, found the contract for the one called Wang Xiaorou, and said to the old lady: “Grandmother, this one we can’t return. Even though she bore our family a son, we still can’t let her off so easily.”

The old lady gritted her teeth: “Exactly right, death by a thousand cuts is called for!”

Chen Dazhong said helplessly: “Grandmother, a thousand cuts is excessive. We’ve asked around about her situation — a colleague of mine in Yandu mentioned his own grandmother knew of a place, two hundred li north of Huguo Temple, a lamp-lighting nunnery that takes in women like her for spiritual discipline. What do you think?”

The old lady, still uneasy but unfamiliar with the law, and with the Chen family having no formal clan statutes of its own, finally said, though reluctantly: “Well then, let’s leave it to the Bodhisattva. Let the Bodhisattva decide her fate, judge her sins — that’s fine too. Our family won’t taint itself with this karma. Alright, that’s settled — hand her to the Bodhisattva, let the Bodhisattva do as she sees fit. I accept it.”

Madam Kou, who’d stayed silent all along, asked curiously: “Didn’t someone say people came from Wang Xiaorou’s family a few days ago?”

Madam Li sneered: “You think they came to stand up for their daughter? They heard about the trouble in our family, and since she’d already borne our Chen family a young master, they came posing as in-laws, hoping to use that to fight for a share of the estate.”

Madam Lu, who hadn’t intended to speak up, exclaimed in surprise: “Oh, they had the nerve for that? A concubine’s family coming to fight over the estate? And in our household no less?”

Chen Dayi said mockingly: “Ha, nerve indeed — I went out and asked them myself, what relation are you even claiming to be, and they still rolled around on the ground refusing to leave, even threatened to go beat the petition drum at the capital.”

The old lady, not having known about this, asked in astonishment: “What kind of talk is that — bullying us for being outsiders to the region? Back in our old hometown, there was an old squire’s family with an old concubine — when his wife died, her own family wasn’t even allowed to wear mourning white, so how did it come to beating petition drums at our house?”

Chen Dasheng comforted her: “It’s fine, Grandmother.” He pointed at Xie Liuhao: “Your godson here already sent them packing.”

The old lady, though, said again: “Well, well, that’s not necessary either — there are plenty of foolish people in this world, I was foolish once myself too. We~ shouldn’t bully people either, whoever’s guilty should bear their own sin. Our family believes in the Bodhisattva, we don’t want to entangle ourselves in others’ karma, understand?”

Xie Liuhao smiled at the old lady: “Understood, Grandmother, it was just a scare tactic. Once people show up at the government office, they get frightened out of their wits, swearing up and down never to try it again — so I let them go.”

“That’s good, that’s good, one must always accumulate virtue… the nun said, let it go, just let it go…”

But the old lady simply couldn’t let it go, her fingers running rapidly over her prayer beads.

The clicking of the abacus in the courtyard finally stopped; the accountant added the last entry to the ledger, then presented the account book to Chen Dazhong with both hands.

Chen Dazhong was, after all, the eldest grandson of the eldest branch.

Chen Dazhong took the ledger, but not being skilled with such things, passed it on to Madam Li. She looked it over for a few moments and sighed deeply: “What a life this was — Fourth, Fourth Uncle served as an official for so many years, and the household accounts only amount to a few dozen guan?”

The old lady said helplessly: “He couldn’t even read, and he never had any real ability.”

Having said this, she glared bitterly toward the doorway.

Qiqian’er shook her head with a helpless smile — the old lady’s thinking was simple and rough; as a mother, once her son was dead, she no longer held any grudge against him.

But what was Qiao Shi, in comparison? She hadn’t left the old lady a single good thing, and the old lady would show her no mercy — only ever growing more resentful of her, a resentment from a mother that was even unreasoning in its intensity.

And this was all without even knowing that Qiao Shi was the true culprit behind her son’s murder.

Madam Li handed the ledger to Qiqian’er, who flipped through it quickly, picked up a writing brush, and rapidly calculated some figures on the table. Finally, she set down the ledger and said to the old lady: “You said you wanted to set aside a stipend for the Fourth Branch?”

The old lady had already prepared for this; she nodded and had someone bring out a small chest, opening it in front of everyone.

The box was full of silver ingots, by rough estimate worth around four or five hundred taels. Over the years, the old lady’s adopted sons had shown her filial devotion, her grandsons had shown filial devotion, and she had her own estate besides — with food, clothing, and daily expenses all covered by the Third Branch, she’d managed to save quite a bit.

The old lady looked at these silver ingots with a bitter smile: “In the past, I used to think this stuff was so precious. Only now do I understand — this is just something for the living to use. Use it, and you still end up owing someone.”

Qiqian’er smiled and had someone carry over the consolidated ledger, then said to everyone: “Since everyone’s here today, I’ll go over your family’s accounts in front of Xique and Lanting. There’s one item I need to mention to Xique first — the settlement the Yang family paid you before, sixty thousand guan. Later Fourth Uncle took half of it, and Grandmother here has held back thirty thousand guan for you…”

Xique looked up: “Fourth Sister-in-law, I, I don’t want it.”

Qiqian’er scolded her: “Nonsense, why wouldn’t you want it? That’s rightfully yours. Let me tell you, whatever money your father spent later on your family’s Yandu residence — that was all yours too, and now it’s become a tangled mess of accounts, this one can’t be touched! Grandmother has already agreed to this.”

The old lady nodded repeatedly: “Yes, yes, that’s right. Grandmother is keeping this safe for you — no one can touch it. If you feel close to your little brother, and later when he grows up and marries, if you want to help him out… he’ll speak well of you for it. If you don’t want to give him anything, no one will say a word against you either.”

The old lady’s words were so full of an old woman’s careful little schemes that the whole courtyard nearly burst out laughing while trying to hold it in.

Xique stood and bowed formally to her sisters-in-law.

Qiqian’er, satisfied, continued reading out the accounts: “Now, tallying up everything else — the Fourth Branch’s household furnishings and odds and ends, if sold, would fetch around three hundred guan. The most valuable is the residence in western Yandu — the Fourth Branch bought it early on, so if sold now, it could fetch around three thousand guan. I think we should sell it — Xique, what do you say?”

Xique glanced toward the doorway, but there was no one there.

She looked again at her younger brother Lanting, who had fallen asleep in their third elder cousin’s arms.

In the end, this little girl, forced to grow up too fast, could only nod and say to Qiqian’er: “Sell it, Fourth Sister-in-law. Sell it!”

Qiqian’er nodded with a smile: “Alright, then we’ll list it with the brokerage and sell it. Afterward, we’ll use the proceeds to buy land near Jiangzhu and divide it evenly among you all. This part, I’m afraid, means you’ll be taking something of a loss — do you accept that?”

Xique nodded: “I accept!”

With these matters settled, Qiqian’er called out toward the west room: “Auntie Qian, you can come out now.”