Sometimes, Bai Ligelin would think about the countless boys who had been around her since childhood. Among them, there must have been some who truly liked her, but in the end, they were all scared away by her frivolity and indulgence.
She had always longed for someone to love her the way Ye Ye loved his sister, but her actions kept pushing away genuine feelings.
She was selfish; she knew all these unbearable flaws, which Lu Li had already bluntly satirized. So this time, she was determined not to repeat her mistakes.
What did it feel like to be in mutual love? The various moments of madness for Ye Ye in her youth were just a shadow play in her memories, with no one to pick flowers with her, no one to accompany her under the moonlight, no one to be with her through life and death. Then she met Lu Li and thought, “This is the one. I like him.”
But it seemed she had walked the same old path again. A woman in love sees everything through rose-colored glasses. Once she calmed down and reflected, it turned out to be just her intoxication again. She liked him alone, tossed and turned alone, enjoyed the flowers and moonlight alone, while the man beside her was like a cold-eyed monster, indifferently watching her foolish devotion.
She had stumbled twice on the same thing.
Lu Li was right; she thought she understood the human heart, but in fact, she had never understood men, not even a bit. It was better to stop everything here and not take another step forward. She could still be that chattering Junior Sister Bai, and he would still be that cautious and serious Senior Brother Lu.
It was just her misunderstanding. She would swallow those difficult-to-release emotions. It didn’t matter; she would always be that cheerful Bai Ligelin.
Lu Li’s hand gripped tightly. Bai Ligelin struggled a few times but couldn’t break free. She could only look at him with increasing bewilderment: “Senior Brother Lu, what are you…”
A chilling coldness seeped through his gaze, making her heart tremble. Her struggling movements stopped.
Lu Li slowly released her hand. His gaze gradually moved away from her face, as if utterly disappointed. But soon, he smiled again.
“Sorry, I asked a stupid question,” Lu Li said, taking a sip of tea. “You should write your reply.”
Bai Ligelin was puzzled. His sudden question made her think too much, but she didn’t want to overthink. Sitting there without talking was awkward, so she decided to ignore him for now. She dipped her brush in ink and started writing the reply while thinking.
Lu Li sat quietly beside her, watching her profile—her small, straight nose, her thick, curled eyelashes. As she wrote, she was still smiling, with shallow dimples at the corners of her lips. Beneath that seemingly sweet and cute exterior, what kind of selfish, heartless, and self-centered things were hidden?
As if sensing his gaze, she slightly turned her body to avoid it, her brows furrowing slightly, showing a kind of cautious confusion and vigilance.
“Your writing is crooked,” Lu Li calmly said. “What’s Lu Gongzhen?”
Bai Ligelin, quite embarrassed, erased the crooked character. He didn’t seem to be acting strange, so she shouldn’t either.
“It’s where we all went for the initial selection for the academy. That’s where we all met,” she said with a smile. “At first, Ye Ye’s neck was almost broken by Ji Tongzhou’s silver! You know, that guy who broke through the third bottleneck while sleeping. He’s even a prince. He was so arrogant when he was young!”
Lu Li suddenly asked, “How did you and Ye Ye meet?”
Bai Ligelin was stunned for a moment. She tilted her head, trying to recall carefully. It had been a long time since she thought about Ye Ye. These once-vivid memories, which she thought she would never forget, had unknowingly begun to fade.
“At that time, he was being hunted down and fainted in a small alley. I found him. I wanted to save him, but he bit me hard and pushed me against the wall. Look, look, there’s still a dent on my forehead!”
She pushed back her bangs, lowering her head to show him the dent. Unexpectedly, his fingers gently touched it, pressing on the old scar. Bai Ligelin shuddered and instinctively moved away.
The atmosphere suddenly became awkward again. Bai Ligelin could no longer concentrate on writing the letter. She twirled the brush in her hand, not daring to look up at him. After a long while, she said softly, “Senior Brother Lu always asks about me but never talks about himself. Why?”
Lu Li’s voice was also low: “What do you want to know?”
Did he mean he was willing to talk? Bai Ligelin finally looked up at him with a smile. Although he wore the same disciple robes as others in the Wanxian Meeting, his attire was slightly different. He wore a forehead ornament and had a strange nine-headed bird pendant around his neck. On his exposed arms, when he circulated his spiritual energy, a layer of strange black tattoos would appear. There were countless tribes in the Eastern Sea, some fond of tattoos, some abstaining from meat and alcohol for a few days every month. She had never heard of the Nine Phoenix Clan and was very curious about Lu Li’s tribe.
“Where is the Nine Phoenix Clan?” she asked with a smile.
Lu Li answered quickly and concisely: “In the westernmost part of the Eastern Sea.”
“Is it a large clan?”
“Only a few thousand people.”
“Are there any rules?” she asked, then laughed, “Not counting that one about not associating with licentious people.”
“Be loyal to your partner, never betray them in your lifetime.”
Bai Ligelin lowered her head and smiled: “Then Senior Brother Lu’s future lover will be very lucky.”
He didn’t speak. Seeing her staring at the nine-headed bird pendant on his neck, he paused, then took it off and placed it in her palm.
Bai Ligelin fingered the pendant. It was about half the size of a palm, neither gold nor stone in texture, heavy in her hand. The nine-headed bird’s carving was ancient and mysterious, with each head having an eye, but they were empty, nothing inlaid, making it look like an unfinished product.
She asked curiously: “As the saying goes, ‘the finishing touch is crucial.’ Were there originally no eyes inlaid? Or did you remove them?”
Lu Li was silent for a while, then suddenly said: “You want to see the eyes?”
Bai Ligelin was stunned: “This… can eyes appear just because I want to see them?”
Lu Li took back the pendant, held it in his palm, and squeezed it hard. Then he put it back in her hand. She felt him grasp her five fingers together and squeeze hard. Suddenly, it seemed there was a sharp protrusion on the pendant that pierced her palm. She cried out in pain, and her fingers were suddenly released. She saw the nine-headed bird pendant flash for an instant, followed by a layer of blood-red color slowly appearing in the nine empty eyes—was it formed from the blood from their pierced palms just now?!
She looked at this eerie pendant in horror, then raised her head to look at Lu Li. He was expressionless as he pressed the pendant against her neck, saying calmly: “Now it has eyes.”
Bai Ligelin felt the heavy pendant hanging on her neck with his press. She was both shocked and confused, hurriedly feeling for the chain to take it off. But the chain was thin yet without a knot, tightly fitting her neck. She felt around for a long time and became more frightened and agitated. She stared at him in disbelief while trying to pull it off forcefully.
But no matter how hard she tried, the chain wouldn’t budge. Her fingers hurt from pulling, and her neck was painfully chafed. She suddenly stood up, found scissors, and tried to cut the chain vigorously, but it wouldn’t cut! Bai Ligelin’s face showed anger as she turned back and said fiercely: “What have you done?!”
Lu Li remained expressionless, but his eyes were cold. He slowly walked over, lifted her collar, and looked down at the nine-headed bird pendant on her fair neck. After a long while, he said: “I’m tired of it, Bai Ligelin, your tricks of playing hard to get. What you want, I might as well grant you.”
He flicked the pendant with his finger and smiled darkly: “I swear in the name of the Nine Phoenix Clan, I will never forsake you in this life, accompany you through life and death, share blessings and misfortunes, be of one heart and mind, never to be separated.”
These sweet vows now made her shudder. Bai Ligelin pushed him away forcefully, her face pale: “Are you mad?! Take it off!”
Lu Li gripped her wrists and looked down at her: “Once it’s on, it can never be taken off. Isn’t this what you hoped for? Hmm, I like you. You can call me at will. You’re just a coward who doesn’t dare to fight for what you want in your heart, only knowing how to trample on others. Want me to comfort you? Come, I’m yours from now on.”
He lowered his head to kiss her. Bai Ligelin was so shocked that she kept dodging, but her chin was firmly gripped by him. His kiss fell on her lips without any hint of gentleness. She was terrified and instinctively tried to circulate her spiritual energy to push him away, but after just one cycle, the pendant suddenly emitted an invisible resistance, firmly locking her spiritual energy inside her body, unable to move even a bit.
She finally felt fear. A cultivator without spiritual energy was no different from an ordinary person. She had no way to resist his restraint at all. Lu Li picked her up in one motion. Her hands were finally free, and she unhesitatingly slapped him hard across the face, saying fiercely: “You’re the coward! Who said they couldn’t be with someone from the same sect?!”
Lu Li looked at her with dark eyes and said calmly: “I don’t believe in anything, but it doesn’t matter. How do you want me to comfort you? I should have eaten such willingly offered meat long ago.”
Willingly offered meat? Bai Ligelin felt her entire body suddenly freeze inch by inch from the inside out. She looked down at him in a daze. This person, how could he say he liked her? He liked her, so he kept her at arm’s length? He liked her, so he humiliated her like this? What kind of like was this? She couldn’t understand at all.
Feeling him untying her clothes, Bai Ligelin didn’t move. His undressing movements slowed down and finally stopped. He pushed her away forcefully. She still didn’t understand, just staring at him blankly.
Lu Li looked at her for a while, said nothing, and turned to walk out. Bai Ligelin stood stiffly for a long time, long enough for her to finally realize this wasn’t a dream, but real. She reached for the pendant on her neck again, pulling and struggling fiercely until she was covered in blood, but it still didn’t budge.
Blood stained her collar red. She wanted to scream but couldn’t make a sound. As if seeking salvation, she rushed to the table and picked up the brush to write a letter asking for help from her sister and others, but no matter how she tried to control the shadow ink with her spiritual energy, it wouldn’t obey at all.
On this nightmarish night, she felt as if she had been abandoned on a deserted island, with no one, no sound, no light. In the end, she could only collapse on the ground in despair. How wonderful it would be if this were just an illusion, a dream?