As Chu Yu spoke, she loosened her whip, and Gu Chusheng fell to the ground. She jumped down from her high position and tucked the whip at her waist. “Why are you here?”
Gu Chusheng’s face was pale. Chu Yu crouched down, noticing him clutching his knee, and asked worriedly, “Where are you hurt?”
“My calf,” he replied.
Gu Chusheng took a deep breath and then said, “We need to leave quickly. It’s dangerous here.”
Chu Yu agreed and immediately carried him on her back, hurrying towards an open area.
Chu Yu moved with agility and strength, which reassured Gu Chusheng that she was unharmed. As she carried him towards the distant riverbank, she asked, “Weren’t you supposed to be in Yuan City for disaster relief? What are you doing here?”
“Wei Qingping came to find me, saying you were in trouble,” Gu Chusheng replied calmly, his voice not betraying the impact of his injury. He then asked curiously, “How did you end up here?”
“I was standing on the mountaintop when the earthquake hit,” Chu Yu said with a smile. “The peak was collapsing, so I ran to avoid the falling debris. I ended up at this cliff, and with no other choice, I grabbed onto vines and made my way down, jumping and climbing.”
Gu Chusheng listened and responded tiredly, “I’m glad you’re alright.”
His words left Chu Yu at a loss for a response. After a long silence, she finally said, “You didn’t need to come looking for me. If something had happened to you, who would handle the disaster relief efforts?”
“You’re still worried about such things at a time like this,” Gu Chusheng scoffed. “Madam truly puts the country and people first.”
Chu Yu fell silent. Gu Chusheng regretted his words as soon as he’d spoken them. Wearily resting on Chu Yu’s back, he spoke again after a long pause, “I heard you left the Wei household.”
“Yes,” Chu Yu replied.
They reached the water’s edge, and she set him down. “I’ll go find some branches to stabilize your foot. Are you hungry? I can catch a fish for you.”
Gu Chusheng lowered his head without speaking. Chu Yu glanced around and continued, “Let’s do that then. After we eat, I’ll carry you along to the water source. We should come across a village after a while.”
She went to find some branches and returned with them. Using a dagger, she cut open his trouser leg, examined his injury, and began splinting it with the branches.
Gu Chusheng watched her silently. Throughout the process, Chu Yu’s expression remained open and straightforward, without a hint of awkwardness or tenderness. She treated him like an ordinary friend who needed help, nothing more.
“Don’t you hate me?” he finally asked, breaking the silence of their first meeting after a long separation.
Chu Yu paused, then lowered her eyes. “When I first came back to life, I always thought that if I ever saw you again, I’d kill you.”
“Then why don’t you?”
Gu Chusheng clenched his fists. Chu Yu finished tying the splint with a strip of cloth and thought for a moment before answering, “Because I don’t want to, I suppose.”
“I wanted to kill you because back then, I felt you had caused me great harm. I was heartbroken and wanted to vent my anger by killing you,” Chu Yu said with a smile as if joking. “But now my heart is full, and I don’t feel that pain anymore. Gu Chusheng, thinking about it carefully, if I hadn’t loved you back then, you weren’t a bad person. You may have had some minor faults, but you were essentially good.”
She stood up and headed towards the river. “I’ll go catch some fish.”
Gu Chusheng remained silent, his gaze following her as she walked away, using her dagger to sharpen a branch into a fish spear. As he watched her, he suddenly realized that she had truly moved on.
In this relationship, she had completely detached herself, leaving behind not even a trace of resentment. It seemed there was no longer any connection between them, and he alone remained stuck in the past, trapped in his cocoon.
Chu Yu caught some fish and started a fire to grill them. Gu Chusheng watched silently, not uttering a word.
When the fish was ready, Chu Yu handed it to him and looked up, asking, “After I died, did you live well?”
Gu Chusheng’s hand holding the fish spear trembled slightly. He lowered his eyes and laughed bitterly, “If I had lived well, would I be here now?”
Chu Yu was slightly taken aback, then smiled. “How did you come back?”
“After Wei Yun killed me, I woke up as my sixteen-year-old self.”
Gu Chusheng spoke flatly. Chu Yu was curious, “You were killed by Wei Yun?”
“Yes,” Gu Chusheng replied, showing no shame. “After your death, I lived for another thirty years. In the end, I couldn’t bear it anymore and didn’t know the meaning of living. The emperor was incompetent, and Wei Yun was planning a rebellion. I fought to protect His Majesty and was killed by Wei Yun.”
Chu Yu wasn’t surprised that Gu Chusheng died protecting the emperor; the Gu family had always been loyal to the royal family. Although Gu Chusheng was different from his family members, he was still a staunch royalist at heart.
Chu Yu frowned, “So now, you’re going to rebel against Zhao Yue?”
Gu Chusheng remained silent, staring at the flickering flames with a cold expression.
“Ah Yu, my loyalty isn’t without limits,” he finally said. “Besides, for the court and the royal family, I’ve already devoted a lifetime,” he looked up at her. “When I came back, I decided that this life would be only for you.”
Chu Yu was stunned. After a moment, she lowered her eyes, turning the fish she was still grilling. Finally, she said, “Chusheng, a person’s life is never for just one person, but for oneself.”
“You should learn to live for yourself,” she looked at him. “A person may have desires, but also responsibilities. Fulfill your responsibilities, don’t harm others, and after that, you can pursue what you want. Do what you like.”
“I like you,” Gu Chusheng said, looking at her intently. “What should I do?”
Hearing this, Chu Yu looked up at him. “Then you can like me. But you should know that this affection won’t change anything. You’re still Gu Chusheng. Your dreams, your responsibilities, and what you should and shouldn’t do, won’t change because of me. Liking someone is a pure thing. I don’t mind you liking me, Gu Chusheng, but you need to understand that I won’t reciprocate, and you can’t force it. And you shouldn’t change your life for me either. You should still be you.”
“What kind of liking is that?” he asked.
“Do you know why I left the Wei household?” she countered.
“Why?”
“Because Chu Yu’s ambitions aren’t limited to the inner court, and she won’t bow her head to anyone. There’s nothing wrong with me liking Wei Yun, but I won’t change myself or compromise for him either. Gu Chusheng, who you like or don’t like has nothing to do with me,” Chu Yu smiled. “But after knowing you for so many years, I hope you live well.”
Gu Chusheng didn’t speak. He looked at Chu Yu for a long time before finally saying, “But apart from you, I have no desires.”
Chu Yu smiled, “Tell me that again someday in the future.”
She stood up and carried Gu Chusheng on her back again, saying calmly, “Let’s go. I’ll take you out of here.”
Gu Chusheng leaned against her back, listening to her heartbeat. He remembered how many times she had carried him like this when they were young.
His Gu family had always been scholars, and he had only learned horseback riding, archery, dancing, and swordsmanship among the six arts. He was decent at the showy stuff, but couldn’t compare to someone like Chu Yu who had been honed since childhood. Back when he was the county magistrate in Kunyang, he made many enemies and was hunted several times. When he was injured, it was Chu Yu who carried him like this, cursing him for causing trouble and creating problems for himself.
No matter how much she scolded him then when she carried him, he always knew he was safe.
Chu Yu would never betray him or abandon him.
But now, as she carried him, she no longer scolded him. Gu Chusheng unconsciously clenched his fists and finally said, “Ah Yu, say something.”
“What happened after I died in the previous life?”
Chu Yu casually replied, “Is it very different from now?”
“Not really,” Gu Chusheng closed his eyes. “The Northern Di were wiped out by Wei Yun. They moved westward and established a new country, later allying with Chen Country to fight back. There were uprisings, rebellions, and the country was constantly at war, never knowing peace.”
“Great Chu had been weak for a long time. If it weren’t for Wei Yun’s hard work, it would have fallen apart long ago.”
“Later, I assisted a young emperor to ascend the throne. Wei Yun and I acted as regents, and things finally stabilized for a few years. But the young emperor quickly grew up and was instigated by eunuchs to take personal control. After Wei Yun returned to power, the young emperor started making foolish decisions. The hard-won stability was disrupted again, and Wei Yun eventually rebelled.”
As Gu Chusheng slowly recounted the events of his previous life, Chu Yu listened.
As they made their way down along the river, Wei Yun arrived at Qingshui Town.
The current Qingshui Town was now buried under mud, with no signs of life visible. Everyone standing in the mud felt a chill.
The power of nature was more terrifying than any army. Seeing this force that left not even bones behind, Wei Xia couldn’t help but say, “Your Highness… this…”
He couldn’t finish his sentence, but everyone understood his meaning.
Wei Yun stared silently at the valley and said, “She’s alive.”
With that, he turned and immediately headed for higher ground. Wei Qiu anxiously called out, “Your Highness! Where are you going?”
Wei Yun didn’t answer. He ran to the mountaintop, carefully examining the chaotic footprints, and finally arrived at the place where Gu Chusheng had fallen off the cliff.
He glanced at the broken branches at the bottom of the cliff and turned to Wei Xia, “Wei Qiu, take the hunting dogs and search for people here. If there’s another aftershock, retreat immediately. Wei Xia, take some men to find where the exit at the bottom of this cliff might be, and wait for me there.”
“Wait for you?” Wei Xia was stunned, then heard Wei Yun say, “Bring some rope. I’m going down to take a look.”
“Your Highness, let me go,” Wei Qiu quickly spoke up. Wei Yun glanced at him, and Wei Qiu understood his intention, frowning but not daring to say anything more.
Wei Yun waited for someone to bring the rope, tied it around himself and to a nearby large tree, then began climbing down the cliff.
There were vines on the cliff face. He grabbed onto the vines and rocks, using his lightness skill to descend quickly. In less than a quarter of an hour, he reached the bottom of the cliff, where he first saw the marks Chu Yu’s sword had left on the cliff face. Controlling his excitement, he followed the footprints after reaching the bottom. He traveled for about half a day before finally seeing a figure in the distance, seemingly carrying someone on their back and talking. Wei Yun called out, “Ah Yu!”
Chu Yu stopped and turned around, seeing Wei Yun standing before her.
His clothes were torn and tattered, his cloak covered in leaves, and his hair disheveled, looking utterly bedraggled.
When he looked at her, his eyes were filled with joy. Chu Yu smiled gently and said, “Why did you come too?”
As she spoke, she set Gu Chusheng down and straightened up, looking at Wei Yun and saying, “You…”
Before she could finish, the young man strode forward and suddenly embraced her tightly.
He didn’t speak, but he held her so tightly, so forcefully, as if letting go would mean losing her forever. Chu Yu, in his arms, finally raised her hand after a long while, gently patting his back and saying softly, “I’m alright.”
Wei Yun remained silent. Chu Yu repeated, “I’m fine, I’m alright. Don’t be afraid.”
Only after Chu Yu’s repeated reassurances did Wei Yun stop trembling and slowly release her.
He looked her up and down, and after a long while, finally let out a sigh of relief. He seemed to want to say something but ultimately turned to look at Gu Chusheng, asking with some surprise, “Lord Gu?”
Gu Chusheng sat on the ground with his eyes closed. Hearing Wei Yun call him, he slowly opened his eyes and calmly said, “Prince Wei.”
Wei Yun was about to ask why he was there but realized the answer before the question left his lips.
If he had come from Hui City, of course, Gu Chusheng, who was personally overseeing disaster relief in Yuan City, would have come as well.
Wei Yun pressed his lips together and finally said, “I’ll carry Lord Gu back.”
Gu Chusheng didn’t respond. Wei Yun approached, lifted Gu Chusheng onto his back, and turned to Chu Yu, saying, “Wei Xia is waiting for us outside. Let’s go.”
Chu Yu smiled, walking beside Wei Yun, unable to suppress the joy in her expression. “You came from Hui City?”
“Yes,” Wei Yun said with a wry smile. “I came as soon as I heard you were in trouble.”
“Is Hui City alright?”
“It’s fine,” Wei Yun replied honestly. “We were well-prepared, so the casualties weren’t too severe.”
Though they were just exchanging ordinary words, both felt inexplicably happy. Chu Yu suddenly remembered to ask, “Why did Lord Gu come personally for disaster relief?”
Hearing Chu Yu’s question, Gu Chusheng opened his eyes and calmly replied, “I feared that if I didn’t come personally, those below wouldn’t listen. Also, if Zhao Yue learned of the disaster, he might refuse to provide aid to pressure you. So I brought food supplies in advance.”
“You brought supplies?” Chu Yu exclaimed in surprise.
Gu Chusheng nodded, “I diverted the military rations meant for Yao Yong.”
“What will you do now?” Wei Yun frowned. “Zhao Yue won’t let this slide.”
“What can he do to me?” Gu Chusheng sneered. “Kill me? I was escorting military supplies and diverted them for disaster relief. Did I do something wrong?”
“Not exactly…” Chu Yu worried. “But Zhao Yue might be wary of you in the future.”
“Isn’t he already?” Gu Chusheng’s voice was cold. “Has someone like him ever trusted anyone in this life?”
Wei Yun and Chu Yu were momentarily speechless. Gu Chusheng closed his eyes and continued, “He only trusts his interests.”
“Alright, don’t think too much about it,” Chu Yu sighed. “You should rest now.”
Gu Chusheng pressed his lips together without speaking. Wei Yun, carrying him, didn’t want to disturb him, so he didn’t talk much with Chu Yu as they quietly made their way out.
The journey was longer than expected. By dusk, they still hadn’t seen Wei Xia, but they spotted a thatched cottage in the distance. Wei Yun looked at the sky and said to Chu Yu, “It might rain. Let’s rest for a while.”
Chu Yu nodded, and they approached the cottage together. The three of them knocked on the door, and an old man opened it.
The old man had snow-white hair and looked to be in his eighties or nineties. Wei Yun respectfully explained their situation and offered the old man some silver. The old man glanced at the silver and shook his head, saying, “Come in. Just help make a meal, that’s enough.”
The three thanked him profusely and entered the cottage.
The old man was hunched over. Wei Yun went to the kitchen to cook, while Chu Yu settled Gu Chusheng and sat down to chat with the old man.
The cottage was small, and the old man’s voice carried clearly to the kitchen.
“My surname is Li, and my name is Li Mou. I used to farm on the outskirts of Yuan City. I have three sons, eight grandsons, and great-grandchildren too, though I can’t remember exactly how many at my age.”
“Where are they now?” Chu Yu asked curiously. The old man sighed softly and didn’t speak. Gu Chusheng frowned, “They didn’t abandon you, did they? I… I’ll find them and make sure they’re punished according to the law!”
“Abandon?” Li Mou was startled, and then quickly waved his hands. “No, no, I wasn’t abandoned. I came here voluntarily.”
“I’ve lived too long,” Li Mou sighed. “Five of my eight grandsons were conscripted into the army, supposedly to ensure our family’s future. Even my great-grandsons have gone. Only women and the elderly are left at home. My sons are over sixty now, with little strength left. What use am I at home? Taxes are heavy, there’s constant warfare, and the family can barely feed themselves. What’s the point of feeding an old man like me?”
“I didn’t want to burden them,” Li Mou smiled bitterly. “I have no regrets if I die anyway, so I came here on my own. I don’t know who this cottage belongs to; I just occupied it. I can still do some work, and plant some vegetables outside. I’m just waiting to die every day, but I keep waiting and haven’t died yet.”
“Don’t they come to visit you?” Gu Chusheng frowned. Li Mou paused, then smiled bitterly, “In these chaotic times, what’s the point of visiting? If they came often and then suddenly stopped, I’d be heartbroken. It’s better if they don’t come at all. Even if one day they really can’t come,” the old man sighed, “at least I won’t feel sad.”
Hearing this, Wei Yun’s hand paused as he was cooking in the kitchen. He stared at the gloomy sky outside, motionless for a long time.
Gu Chusheng and Chu Yu also fell silent. But the old man smiled, “You young people, frowning over such small matters. This isn’t a big deal,” Li Mou patted Gu Chusheng’s shoulder and stood up. “Apart from life and death, nothing is a big deal. Even life and death leave no trace in this world.”
These words didn’t comfort the three, and everyone ate in silence.
The meal included fish caught by Chu Yu. The old man ate happily, repeatedly saying he hadn’t had meat in a long time.
When it was time to sleep, since there were only two rooms, Gu Chusheng slept in one and the old man in the other. Wei Yun and Chu Yu went to the main hall, made a bed on the floor with their coats, and slept.
It was a bit cold at night. Wei Yun gave his cloak to Chu Yu and held her in his arms.
As they were about to fall asleep, Wei Yun suddenly spoke, “I hope this war ends quickly.”
Chu Yu didn’t speak but reached out and held him close.
Wei Yun, his voice low and hoarse, said earnestly, “I hope this war ends soon. I hope for a stable court; I don’t care who becomes emperor, I just want them to be stable. I hope all the common people in the realm have enough to eat. I hope this old man’s children are all alive, that they can take him back home, and that they don’t have to let him choose to come to the wilderness due to lack of food. I hope they can see each other whenever they want, without worrying that one day they might never see each other again.”
“I hope they can be well,” Wei Yun held Chu Yu tightly. “And that we can be well too.”
“Soon,” Chu Yu closed her eyes, offering him warmth. “Xiao Qi, it will be soon.”
After resting for the night, the three set out again early the next morning. The old man saw them off, even giving them some vegetables. Gu Chusheng repeatedly declined, but the old man still placed them in his hands, saying happily, “Young master, when you return to Changle Village on the outskirts of Yuan City, find the household of Li Le and tell them I’m doing well. Tell them not to worry, alright?”
Gu Chusheng hesitated for a moment, then nodded, “Old sir, don’t worry. I’ll make sure your family has enough food to eat. I’ll have them come to get you then.”
“That’s not necessary,” Li Mou sighed. “With this bad emperor, even if they take me back, I’d have to leave again soon. Young master,” Li Mou patted Gu Chusheng’s hand and said earnestly, “Take care in these chaotic times.”
Gu Chusheng didn’t speak. Holding the vegetables in his hand, he suddenly felt they weighed ten thousand jin.
Wei Yun, carrying Gu Chusheng and leading Chu Yu, walked for a long time before suddenly hearing voices. Wei Yun looked up and saw Wei Xia and others riding towards them on horseback.
Wei Yun let out a sigh of relief. Wei Xia hurried over, anxiously asking, “Your Highness, are you all alright?”
“We’re fine,” Wei Yun shook his head and turned, asking, “Is there a carriage? Lord Gu is injured and probably can’t ride a horse.”
“Yes, there is.” Wei Xia quickly came forward, having Shen Wushuang examine Gu Chusheng before having people carry him into the carriage.
After Gu Chusheng was settled in the carriage, Wei Yun confirmed the situation with Wei Xia. Yuan City was just ahead. He pressed his lips together, turned to look at Chu Yu, and after a long moment, he suddenly smiled, reaching out to hold her hand, saying softly, “I have to go back now.”
“Mm,” Chu Yu lowered her eyes, looking at his hand holding hers. She had thought Wei Yun would ask her to go with him, but instead heard him ask, “What are your plans now?”
“I want to help Gu Chusheng with disaster relief. He diverted Yao Yong’s supplies for relief, which might be dangerous for him later.”
Wei Yun didn’t speak. He held her hand, and after a long while, he looked up at her, his eyes filled with resignation, “Then take care of yourself. Don’t scare me like this again by taking such risks.”
Chu Yu was taken aback. She slowly raised her head and saw his eyes.
His eyes were full of longing and pleading, but he suppressed it all. He restrained his love, without any selfishness or demands for her to compromise.
After a long moment, Chu Yu carefully asked, “You… don’t want to take me back with you?”
“If you say you’re willing, I’ll take you back right now,” Wei Yun pulled her into his arms, closing his eyes. “How could I not want to take you back? I even want to snatch you away. But Ah Yu, I know you don’t want to.”
Chu Yu lowered her eyes in his embrace, listening as he continued, “If you don’t want to, how can I force you? You can go wherever you want, Ah Yu,” his voice paused, and he finally said, “Just remember to come back.”
“Don’t say it like that,” Chu Yu laughed. “It sounds like I’m out living a wild life while you’re the faithful wife waiting at home.”
Wei Yun also laughed at her joke. He released her, reached out to straighten the hairpin on her forehead, then tucked his hands into his sleeves, looking at her tenderly, “Go on then. I’ll see you off before I leave.”
Chu Yu responded softly and turned to walk towards the carriage.
Wei Yun watched her silently as she walked away. After a few steps, she suddenly stopped.
Then she suddenly turned back, ran to him, and threw her arms around his neck, forcing him to bend slightly. He felt her warm lips press firmly against his cheek. She looked up at him and said earnestly, “Wei Yun, in this whole world, I like you the most, only you.”
With that, she let go of him and resolutely returned to the carriage. Wei Yun watched as the carriage swayed and set off. He stood there, dazed, his hand touching the cheek she had kissed. After a long while, he lowered his head and smiled, pressing his lips together.
Inside the carriage, Chu Yu felt her heart racing. She leaned against the carriage wall, fanning her slightly heated face with her hand. Gu Chusheng, who had been looking down at the vegetables in his hands, finally raised his head to look at Chu Yu.
He saw this girl, blushing and bright-eyed like a young maiden, and thought she looked more beautiful than ever before. If in her previous life, she had lived narrow-mindedly and ignorantly, and at the beginning of this life she had been repressed and gloomy, then at this moment, she had brilliantly combined the carefree spirit of her past life with the wisdom and tolerance gained from her experiences.
It was a kindness that came from traversing a thousand mountains and rivers and a light that emerged after experiencing darkness and despair.
He suddenly wanted to know, if he could be like Chu Yu – moving on, letting go, finding fulfillment – what would he become?
What would that Gu Chusheng look like, carrying both the passion of youth and the sediment of time?
Holding the vegetables in his hand, he suddenly spoke, “Ah Yu.”
Chu Yu looked up at him, and Gu Chusheng said, “Can you show me what the world looks like?”
With your eyes, your soul, take me to see what the world should be like outside the circle I’ve drawn for myself.
Chu Yu was taken aback, then she smiled and said sincerely, “Alright.”