In 2007, after the college entrance exam, Sang Yan welcomed the longest summer vacation of his life. After returning from Beiyu, for a long time, he didn’t hear anyone mention Wen Yifan again.
He had achieved good results and received an admission letter from a top-ranking domestic university.
His parents were happy and proud, relatives occasionally brought him out for praise, and everything around him was immersed in joy.
Free from the heavy pressure of studying, Sang Yan’s time became more flexible, and his life became rich and fulfilling.
Sang Yan didn’t mention to anyone his relationship with Wen Yifan, which he thought could see the dawn but ended abruptly. He continued to go out to play ball and games with friends as usual, continued to impatiently take care of his sister under his parents’ admonitions, and continued to stay up late and sleep until the sun was high.
He continued living his own life.
This seemed particularly simple.
Leaving that city, as long as he didn’t actively seek information, was equivalent to cutting off the intersection between the two of them. Without intentional effort, he could completely separate himself from her world.
Effortlessly.
Sang Yan never deliberately recalled Wen Yifan as a person.
He felt it was just a matter of good luck and not-so-good luck.
Good luck, meeting someone he liked.
Bad luck, she didn’t like him.
Extremely ordinary.
So ordinary that he felt it would be overly sentimental to say one more word, to be sad for one more second, to think of her one more time.
…
The next time he thought of Wen Yifan was on the day he reported to Nanwu University.
Sang Yan met his roommate Duan Jiaxu and learned that he wasn’t a local from Nanwu, but came from Yihe. Upon hearing this, he almost blurted out, “How’s Yihe?”
“It’s quite nice, you can go there for fun when you have time,” Duan Jiaxu smiled, “It’s just that the climate is quite different from here, so I’m still not quite used to Nanwu.”
At that time, one of the other two roommates was on the phone with family, and the other was taking a shower.
The two young men leaned against the balcony railing, feeling the summer evening breeze. Hearing this, Sang Yan lowered his eyes and fumbled for a cigarette box from his pocket, biting a cigarette into his mouth without a word.
He silently offered the cigarette box to Duan Jiaxu.
Duan Jiaxu took it but only played with it in his hand, without any further action.
Sang Yan took out a lighter, watching the flame lick the cigarette tip, emitting a crimson light. As he blew smoke rings, he looked somewhat absent-minded, inexplicably remembering that Wen Yifan seemed to dislike smoking.
Every time they encountered someone smoking on the street, she would pull his arm and quickly pass by.
Sang Yan couldn’t quite remember when he started smoking.
From when did he willingly become the type of person she disliked?
“What’s wrong?” Seeing him not speaking for a long time, Duan Jiaxu casually asked, “Do you have a friend who got admitted there?”
“No,” Sang Yan turned his head, his expression idle, “I originally wanted to apply there.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
In the quiet night, the wind carried the fragrance of osmanthus, bringing a surge of heat.
Sang Yan wore a black T-shirt, his eyes as dark as ink, his elbow resting on the railing, listening to the laughter coming from somewhere outside. He remained silent, not answering, finishing the cigarette in his hand.
After an unknown period.
When Duan Jiaxu thought he wouldn’t answer.
Sang Yan suddenly let out a faint laugh, calmly saying, “It was too late to change my application.”
Days passed according to routine.
Sang Yan finished military training, got tanned a shade darker, and started his three-point university life. During this time, he received numerous pursuits and confessions from girls, but he had no interest in this aspect.
He only felt it troublesome and tiring, to the point where he was too lazy to even reject, giving no chance for anyone to get close.
He lived an extremely ascetic life.
Sang Yan didn’t feel like he was deliberately waiting for someone.
He just didn’t want to compromise or settle.
He would never do something like feeling that he had reached a certain age, or thinking he had met someone suitable, and hastily decide to casually find someone to date.
He never thought that a person’s life must have a significant other.
If lucky enough to meet one, that would be great.
But if not.
Living life just like this wasn’t a big deal either.
In the early hours of Frost’s Descent, Sang Yan inexplicably dreamed of the time not long after starting high school, dreaming of Wen Yifan, who wasn’t particularly popular in class back then. The “Wen Vase” who was gossiped about behind her back, nicknamed, yet still maintained a good temper.
When he woke up, he squinted at the time.
It was just past 2:10 in the morning.
It was already the 24th.
Sang Yan sat on the bed, clearing his head for a while. Perhaps due to the fermentation of emotions at night, at that moment, he completely lost control of his emotions and impulses. He took his phone, got out of bed, and walked to the balcony.
He skillfully typed Wen Yifan’s number on the dial pad.
In the second before dialing, countless thoughts flashed through Sang Yan’s mind.
What would her reaction be upon hearing his voice?
She must be asleep at this hour, would she be angry if woken up?
Would she not answer if she saw it was him?
After saying such things, was it appropriate to make this call?
But he wanted to know if she had adapted to the new environment.
Would she be bullied?
However, all these thoughts were cut short by the mechanical female voice from the other end of the phone.
“Sorry, the number you have dialed is not in service.”
That was the first time Sang Yan felt.
He had truly, completely been abandoned by Wen Yifan.
As if the accumulated emotions exploded in an instant, Sang Yan lowered his head in disarray, his Adam’s apple moving up and down. He put the phone down from his ear, redialed, listening to the same words repeated over and over again on the other end.
Until it automatically hung up, he continued to repeat.
Obstinately, countless times.
In the night so quiet that no sound could be heard, the young man stood leaning against the railing, continuously doing the same meaningless action. It wasn’t until the phone ran out of battery and shut down that he slowly put down the phone and stayed alone on the balcony for a long time.
Seeing the sky gradually brighten, he finally returned to the dormitory.
Sang Yan always seemed to have words he couldn’t express.
Like that time he went to see her in Beiyu.
The words he had thought about for a long time and practiced many times, he didn’t get the chance to tell her.
And this time.
This “happy birthday” seemed to be the same.
It would probably become.
Words he could never say to her again in this lifetime.
During the winter break of his freshman year, Sang Yan was dragged by Su Hao’an to have a meal with their high school classmates. It was also at that time, after half a year, that he first heard the news of Wen Yifan from Zhong Siqiao’s mouth.
At that time, Sang Yan felt the private room was too stuffy and went out to the corridor to smoke.
Not long after, Zhong Siqiao also came out to answer a phone call. Due to the dim light, she didn’t notice Sang Yan on the other side: “You’re not coming back for the winter break? I was thinking of either you coming to Nanwu or me going to Beiyu to hang out with you for a few days.”
Hearing this, Sang Yan’s movement paused.
Zhong Siqiao: “Why aren’t you coming back? Are you in a relationship?”
Sang Yan looked over.
“If not, why aren’t you coming back? It must be miserable for you to be there alone…” Zhong Siqiao said, “Alright then, take care of yourself over there. Oh, by the way, I’ve downloaded that online game you mentioned before, I’ll play it tonight when I get back. I forgot which server you said it was, was it Server 2?”
“Then I didn’t remember wrong. But how come you started playing games? I’m quite surprised.” Zhong Siqiao said, “What’s your game name? I’ll create a matching name with you!”
“Mild Boiling Water?” Zhong Siqiao laughed for a while, “What kind of name is that? Okay, then I’ll create one called Fierce Ice Water.”
…
Later, Sang Yan learned the name of that online game from Su Hao’an. On a certain night before New Year’s Eve, he was lying in bed when he suddenly got up and turned on the computer.
Staring at the screen for a while, he opened the web page and downloaded that online game.
Sang Yan instinctively wanted to register a male character, but when he thought of Wen Yifan, he hesitated, moved the mouse, and changed to register a female character. He stared at the screen, pausing for a few seconds on the interface to enter the game ID.
Then, he slowly typed two characters.
— Bai Xiang.
He had surrendered.
He simply couldn’t let go.
Sang Yan played for a few days until he reached a level similar to Wen Yifan’s before he typed “Mild Boiling Water” in the add friend window.
This online game allowed random friend additions, and one of the level tasks was to add 50 friends.
Soon after, Wen Yifan’s side accepted.
Through the game’s positioning, Sang Yan found her location. He controlled the character in the game, walking to her side. Watching her fighting monsters alone, he did the same.
After a while, Sang Yan stopped his actions and started typing.
[Bai Xiang]: Want to team up?
At the same time, the character controlled by Wen Yifan also stopped moving. Soon after, a small bubble popped up above her head.
[Mild Boiling Water]: Okay.
In that instant, Sang Yan completely resigned himself to fate, feeling extremely relaxed for the first time in half a year. He tugged at his lip, remembering the last words he said to her during their final meeting.
“I won’t bother you anymore.”
It was like a promise.
Just as he had once told her, “I will always be by your side.”
Since he had made this promise to her, he had to keep it.
But he couldn’t.
So the only option was to return to her side under a different identity.
Wen Yifan wasn’t online frequently, with the most active period being the second semester of her freshman year. During this time, they gradually became more familiar with each other, occasionally discussing real-life matters.
He learned that the place she frequented most on campus was the library.
He learned that she worked part-time at a milk tea shop off-campus.
He learned that she still hadn’t taken a boyfriend.
…
Sang Yan cautiously and unobtrusively used this method to explore her life.
Later, perhaps due to the busyness of real life, Wen Yifan’s game logins became less frequent. This cycle gradually extended from a few days to a week, then to several weeks or months. But throughout these four years, she never completely abandoned the game.
Their conversations were all about trivial matters.
[Mild Boiling Water]: Your username is quite inauspicious.
[Mild Boiling Water]: Defeat and surrender?
[Mild Boiling Water]: Wait, is your name pronounced as “Xiang” or “jiang”?
[Defeated Surrender]: Jiang.
[Mild Boiling Water]: Then you made a typo? Shouldn’t it be “Jiang” as in “general”?
[Defeated Surrender]: That username was already taken.
[Mild Boiling Water]: I’ve been too busy with my studies lately, so I probably won’t be playing much.
[Defeated Surrender]: Okay.
[Mild Boiling Water]: We’ve always teamed up together, and though I don’t know if you’ve been waiting, I still worry that you might sometimes wait for me. So I thought I should let you know.
[Defeated Surrender]: I have been waiting.
[Defeated Surrender]: But I’m about to start an internship, so I’ll be logging in rarely too.
[Defeated Surrender]: Let’s keep in touch when we’re free.
Their only means of communication thus diminished.
Sang Yan continued to visit Yihe regularly, occasionally missing her, but most of the time able to see how she was doing. He saw that she had lost some weight, made a new friend, cut her hair short, and seemed to have become more cheerful.
Later, WeChat, the messaging app, came online.
One evening, Sang Yan noticed a red dot in the “New Friends” section. He clicked to open it and saw that the person’s name was simply “Wen”, with the WeChat ID wenyifan1024.
— Added via phone contacts.
Sang Yan stared at it for a few seconds before accepting the request.
She didn’t initiate any conversation with him.
It seemed that adding him was just an accidental action.
Some time passed.
Sang Yan saw her post her first Moments update. The picture showed a large stack of newspapers on an office desk, with the caption: [After a week of reading newspapers, I’ll start memorizing them tomorrow if I have nothing else to do.]
Zhong Siqiao mocked her in the comments: [Hahaha, not bad finding an internship!]
From the text in the image, Sang Yan recognized it as the Yihe Daily.
On his next visit to Yihe, Sang Yan’s footsteps paused as he passed a newspaper stand. He walked over, took out a few hundred yuan notes from his wallet, handed them to the aunt at the stand, and said softly, “Auntie, could you save a copy of the Yihe Daily for me every day?”
“Huh? Save a copy?”
“Yes, I’ll come to collect them once every three months.”
…
On the day of Wen Yifan’s graduation ceremony, Sang Yan entered the auditorium and sat in the back row, watching her go on stage to receive her diploma. He watched as her friends pulled her out to take photos after the ceremony ended.
In his eyes, she always stood out the most in the crowd.
She was always the one he could spot at first glance.
At one moment, Sang Yan took out his phone from his pocket. He stared at Wen Yifan in the distance, engulfed by the sea of people as if separated from him by an invisible barrier.
So many times.
Not once did she notice his presence.
From beginning to end.
It seemed she could never see him.
Sang Yan was dressed in a formal white shirt and suit pants, though he wasn’t accustomed to such attire. He raised his phone and, after four years, called out her name in front of her: “Wen Yifan.”
Following the sound, Wen Yifan looked over bewilderedly.
It was the first time Sang Yan appeared before her without a mask and cap.
He felt utterly conflicted.
Longing to be discovered by her, yet not wanting to be found.
In the instant, Wen Yifan’s gaze fully landed on his face.
Sang Yan turned his head and walked in the opposite direction. He looked down at Wen Yifan on his phone screen, her face still bearing a faint smile, seemingly still immersed in the joy of graduation.
As it should be.
This was a day for her to be happy.
Not suitable for seeing someone she shouldn’t see.
He curved his lips slightly and stepped away from the bustling crowd, one step at a time.
Just like every time before.
He came alone and left alone.
As if repeating, over and over, a lonely journey without end.
After graduation, Sang Yan partnered with a few friends to open a bar. He stayed at the company where he had interned during his senior year. Busy with work, his visits to Yihe became less frequent.
Through Wen Yifan’s Moments updates, Sang Yan learned that she had changed jobs and joined the news program team at Yihe Radio and Television.
Beyond that, he knew nothing.
When he had time, Sang Yan would log into the online game.
After several years, the game gradually declined, with far fewer players than before. His friends list was entirely grayed out. Walking through the map, he could only occasionally see a few leveling workshops.
On a summer night in 2013.
Sang Yan logged into the game out of habit before bed but unexpectedly saw Wen Yifan, who hadn’t logged in for over a year. He looked for several seconds to make sure he wasn’t mistaken, then immediately flew to her location.
[Defeated Surrender]: Did your account get hacked?
[Mild Boiling Water]: … You’re still playing?
[Mild Boiling Water]: I was clearing software on my computer and suddenly realized I hadn’t uninstalled this game, so I logged in to take a look.
[Defeated Surrender]: Mm.
[Defeated Surrender]: How have you been?
After a long silence.
[Mild Boiling Water]: Not too good.
[Mild Boiling Water]: There’s not much happiness in life, but we can only keep living like this.
Sang Yan was stunned.
It was the first time she had expressed negativity about life in front of him.
After some more idle chat.
[Mild Boiling Water]: I have something to do, logging off now.
Then, Wen Yifan went offline.
Sang Yan stared at the screen for a long time before booking a flight to Yihe for the next day at noon.
It was already evening when he arrived in Yihe.
Sang Yan took a taxi to the entrance of Yihe Radio and Television. Before he could get out of the car, he saw Wen Yifan walking out. She was carrying a bag, walking slowly forward, her expression somewhat vacant.
He got out of the car and silently followed behind her.
Wen Yifan walked straight ahead, crossing a street and turning a corner. When passing a cake shop, she stopped for three seconds, staring at the strawberry cake in the window display.
As if thinking the price was too high, she quickly averted her gaze and continued forward.
Wen Yifan sat down on a bench by the street, staring blankly at the ground.
She didn’t cry, didn’t play with her phone, didn’t make any calls.
She didn’t do anything.
It was unclear what had happened.
Sang Yan stood in the corner, watching her for a long time. His eyelashes quivered slightly as he turned and entered the cake shop, buying the strawberry cake. He paid but didn’t take the packaged cake box from the clerk’s hands.
He pointed outside and made a request: “Could you help me give this cake to the woman sitting on the bench?”
Clerk: “Huh?”
“Just say it’s a new product from your shop,” Sang Yan came up with a flimsy excuse. “Tell her if she posts about it on social media, she can have it for free.”
…
For three months after returning to Nanwu, Sang Yan couldn’t stop thinking about Wen Yifan sitting silently alone on that bench. At a certain moment, he finally figured it out and got up to write his resignation letter on the computer.
If she wasn’t doing well.
It seemed he had nothing left to hesitate about.
Sang Yan remembered the message he hadn’t managed to send in the game.
— Do you want to try developing somewhere else?
But after he sent it successfully, she had already logged off.
She never logged in again after that.
She still hadn’t received his message.
But this seemed like an easily solvable matter too.
If you won’t come.
Then, I’ll go to see you.
On the evening of his formal resignation, Sang Yan was called by Su Hao’an to “work overtime” for drinks. As soon as he entered, he immediately saw Wen Yifan sitting at one of the scattered tables.
She was wearing a light-colored sweater, her skin as white as paper, but her lips red, smiling as she chatted with Zhong Siqiao across from her.
Just like every moment from before.
At that moment, Sang Yan felt a brief sense of bewilderment.
As if he had entered an illusion.
Instead of going straight upstairs as usual, Sang Yan walked to the bar and started talking with He Mingbo. He Mingbo was a bit puzzled and asked, “Bro, why aren’t you going up?”
He responded absent-mindedly, “Ah, in a bit.”
He Mingbo: “Want me to mix you a drink?”
“No need.”
They chatted casually for a while.
At this moment, a commotion erupted from Wen Yifan’s table. He glanced over to see Yu Zhuo’s drink spilled, completely drenching her, as he apologized with a pale face.
She was chilled by the alcohol and immediately stood up.
After a brief exchange, Wen Yifan seemed to be heading to the restroom. She lifted her eyes and met his gaze. Whether she didn’t recognize him or had long noticed his presence, her eyes were calm. She quickly averted her gaze.
He Mingbo beside him was saying, “Hey, she looks pretty easy to talk to. I’ll have Yu Zhuo handle it–“
Sang Yan stood up straight, watching Wen Yifan’s retreating figure, interrupting his words.
“I’ll go.”
Indeed.
He still couldn’t bear this feeling of being shut out of her world.
He wanted to see her, so he should go see her.
Since he could no longer fall in love with anyone else.
Then he would spend his entire life.
Loving that person, whom he still wanted to possess even if it took a lifetime of persistence.
— Side Story End —