Freshmen, newly arrived at university, tend to exaggerate a bit. After all, their professor for a required course had sincerely advised them in class, “When I was young, I couldn’t understand Lu Xun. Later, in college, when I picked up Mr. Lu Xun’s books again, I was filled with respect and admiration.
Then, I fell for an exceptional girl in college. I was shy and introverted since childhood. She studied literature, while I was in the mathematics department. At that time, I wasn’t particularly interested in literature. I felt she was like ‘A Madman’s Diary’ that I couldn’t comprehend as a child – full of mystery. So, for her sake, I began to study literary works. She loved Osamu Dazai, so I read through all of Dazai’s works.
By the time I finished, I discovered she was already strolling hand in hand with my senior on the campus. I was still pondering why Dazai had attempted suicide five times. Coincidentally, I was working part-time at the school’s convenience store and happened to encounter my senior buying breakfast. I couldn’t help but ask him, ‘Senior, about this Dazai-‘ My senior cut me off impassively, ‘I don’t eat sandwiches.'”
“So, my advice is, when you meet a girl you like, pursue her quickly. Because after graduation, you’ll realize that a math problem you couldn’t solve at twenty will only bother you for a while, but a girl you couldn’t win over at twenty might haunt you for a lifetime. Of course, this is just my personal opinion, unrelated to the school’s stance. Don’t take photos or videos. If I become famous, it won’t benefit you. I’ll demand a raise, and the wool comes from the sheep’s back – the school might just raise your tuition fees.”
Although it was a joke, someone was bound to record it. Some even posted it on short video platforms. That professor had always been quite popular online, and everyone knew his style. He had been on several hot search lists. But every time he taught new students, he would tirelessly retell his love story. So, almost everyone online knew he had a senior who didn’t eat sandwiches.
The freshman curriculum was intense. To build a strong foundation, Xu Zhi also enrolled in a fast-track drawing class, leaving little free time. She was genuinely busy during that period, and Old Xu would occasionally call her at night, chatting for an hour or so.
Once, while on the phone with Old Xu, a male student set up an elaborate display under the girls’ dormitory. He arranged a perfect circle of love-shaped candles, and in the flickering firelight, passionately recited a popular online love poem:
“On my barren land, you are my last rose-“
Old Xu, hearing this on the phone, was quite startled. “That young man has quite a strong voice.”
Xu Zhi said, “The school’s recitation club is practicing.”
Old Xu chuckled, “I’m not that naive. It’s a suitor, right? How is he? Handsome? What’s he studying?”
Xu Zhi, holding the phone while standing on the balcony, glanced down absent-mindedly. “Can’t see his face. Do you think he could be more handsome than Chen Luzhou?”
Old Xu clicked his tongue, sounding a bit displeased, “Why do you always compare with that boy?”
She wasn’t comparing, she thought. Even Chinese literature majors recite others’ poems when confessing. True romantic poets weren’t everywhere. There weren’t many who could write poetry, and even fewer who could remember every question she asked, think about it carefully, and give her a sincere answer. There was probably only one person like that in the world.
Thinking this, Xu Zhi was about to hang up and go downstairs to clarify things with the person, when she saw Senior Du pat the guy’s shoulder and pull him aside to say something. The guy quickly packed up and left.
As soon as Senior Du entered the room, Xu Gongzhu, who was applying a face mask, couldn’t help but count on her fingers, “I’ve counted, from the start of the school year until now, there have been about five or six guys seriously pursuing you. Miss Xu Beauty, you haven’t liked any of them?”
Xu Zhi was looking for her charger at the time, intending to charge her phone. After fumbling around for a while, she finally found it stuck behind the desk. As she bent over, her bottom sticking out, the curves of her body were accentuated, taut, and round, with pronounced front and back. Her arm was searching behind the desk as she said casually, “Really, none. I’m not planning to date.”
Xu Gongzhu smoothed out the face mask on her face, looking at the flawless body curves reflected in the mirror behind her, and said, “Don’t you like Jiang Yu? Remember last time in the cafeteria, he sat opposite you? I think Senior Du is a bit biased against Jiang Yu. He’s the department’s heartthrob in their department. He was quite popular on short videos for a while, looks a lot like that newly debuted celebrity.”
This is what Du Qilan said. She leaned against the ladder between the bed and desk, looking seriously at Xu Gongzhu, “Do you know why you think Jiang Yu is handsome?”
Xu Gongzhu was puzzled, “Huh?”
“It’s because the boys in your year are generally subpar. In our year, besides Jiang Yu, there were many handsome guys, so we were kind of immune to it. That’s why we seniors are worried for you junior girls. Handsome is handsome, but quite a few are jerks. Though Jiang Yu is okay, Xu Zhi, I’m saying you could get to know him.”
“Is that so? I find him quite ordinary,” Xu Zhi said as she plugged in her phone charger.
Du Qilan couldn’t help but be curious, slowly looking Xu Zhi up and down, “If Jiang Yu is ordinary, Miss Xu Beauty must have dated before.”
Xu Gongzhu’s interest was immediately piqued. She took off her face mask, casually tossed it in the trash, and leaned on the chair with her face shiny from the thick essence, looking at Xu Zhi with great interest, “Really? What kind of guy was he? Oh my, I’m so curious.”
Xu Zhi had just changed into her pajamas, wearing a fluffy rabbit ear headband that exposed her clean forehead and features. The C-shaped earring on one ear was gleaming. Chen Luzhou was a person hard to summarize in one word. If she had to say, she could only say that his appearance had rarely unified her and Cai Yingying’s aesthetic standards. She stated the most obvious fact, “Very handsome.”
Xu Gongzhu sighed in disappointment, “Handsomeness is very subjective. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe you think he’s handsome, but we might not necessarily agree. Just like Jiang Yu, I think he’s handsome, but Senior Du thinks he’s just okay.”
Xu Zhi leaned against her desk, her phone charging beside her. She took out a book, planning to memorize some vocabulary. “Alright, then there’s nothing to gossip about. Maybe it’s just my personal aesthetic preference.”
During that period, Xu Zhi’s WeChat would occasionally pop up with friend requests. She would sometimes click in to look. Once, she saw an avatar style very similar to Chen Luzhou’s. The other person’s avatar was Neuschwanstein Castle, and she remembered that Chen Luzhou’s Moments background was also a picture of Neuschwanstein Castle. In a moment of impulse, she added the person, thinking at first that Chen Luzhou had deleted her and was now adding her back as a friend. But then she realized it didn’t make sense – she hadn’t deleted him, so even if he was adding her back, it wouldn’t show up as a request unless both sides had deleted each other.
After adding the WeChat contact, she immediately exited and went to check Chen Luzhou’s WeChat. It was still there, quiet as if dead. His Moments hadn’t been updated in ages. Xu Zhi suspected that Chen Luzhou might have changed his phone number and WeChat after going abroad.
So she harbored hope for that Neuschwanstein Castle WeChat contact. The other party didn’t say anything, and she never deleted it. One day, during the student union recruitment at school, Xu Zhi filled out an application form for the publicity department. When the other party wanted to add her WeChat, Xu Zhi scanned and the Neuschwanstein Castle avatar owner popped up. She instinctively looked up and remembered it was Jiang Yu, who had been sitting next to Senior Du in the cafeteria that day eating breakfast.
At that moment, the last glimmer of hope in Xu Zhi’s heart was extinguished. She returned to her dorm room and sat there for a day. When she first arrived, it wasn’t so bad. The longing wasn’t this intense. It was just that recently, as her studies and life had fallen into a routine, she often found herself thinking about that summer during her leisure time.
She thought of that dim third-year high school building, the loud cicada chirps, and on the deserted nights, those inexperienced yet exciting, soft kissing sounds.
Around the end of August, they had their last phone call. It was past 1 AM, and Xu Zhi had just finished showering when she noticed a missed call from Chen Luzhou. So, with her hair still wet, she sat on the edge of the bed and called him back.
It rang for a long time before he answered, and when he did, there was silence.
Neither spoke.
Xu Zhi, wrapped in a towel blanket, her wet hair still dripping water down her back, looked at the bare gardenia pot by the window. Feeling the moonlight was particularly gentle, she couldn’t help but call his name, “Chen Luzhou?”
He gave a low “Mm” in response.
Xu Zhi: “Miss me?”
He paused for a long time, seemingly reluctant to admit it, but also feeling that saying anything else would be too conspicuous. So he gave a short “Mm.”
Xu Zhi laughed, “Chen Luzhou, you’re so lame. You should have said you dialed the wrong number, like last time. ‘Xu Zhi, your shoelace is untied.’ That would be cool.”
He hummed in agreement, but quickly said, “Not as cool as you. Hanging up.”
After that, they never contacted each other again.
Around National Day, the school had many events. Xu Zhi was quite busy during that period, with classes both on and off campus. Coincidentally, just before the holiday, she was recruited into the publicity department. Senior Du, who was the vice president of the student union, had been encouraging the girls in their dorm to try out for the student union. That day, Xu Zhi was bored and accompanying Xu Gongzhu to sign up when she also filled out a form, which happened to be for Jiang Yu’s publicity department.
Xu Zhi joined the Publicity Department, Xu Gongzhu went to the Study Department, and Liu Yisi also entered the Arts Department. During that period, their dormitory room 507 was empty in the evenings because everyone was attending department meetings. They usually returned to the dorm around ten o’clock, grumbling to each other briefly before collapsing into bed. In the haze of sleep, they could still hear Xu Gongzhu sleep-talking, “Department Head, I’ll do this dirty and tiring work. How can we let you do it? Don’t be shameless! Give that to me! Who are you trying to steal work from?”
During that time, Xu Zhi was busy with both academics and work, sleeping less than five hours a day. Every night after being startled awake, she would think of a certain person and couldn’t fall back asleep. In the end, she could only hear Xu Gongzhu smacking her lips in deep sleep. Even the usually composed Xu Zhi was driven to the brink of a mental breakdown by her sleep-talking roommate. Exhausted, she flopped onto the bed and said to Du Qilan with a sense of despair, “Senior, can you just end me?”
However, Du Qilan picked up on something intriguing from these few short sentences, “Their Study Department needs to be reorganized.”
Xu Zhi: “…”
After the initial excitement of new student enrollment passed, fewer people pursued Xu Zhi. They realized she was impervious to advances and had high standards, not even giving Jiang Yu, the department heartthrob, a second glance. Others stopped making futile attempts, and life became much quieter.
It wasn’t exactly as Senior Du Qilan had said. There were still a few impressive guys among this year’s juniors, especially one who had made a big impression during military training by singing an English song that captured many hearts. Coincidentally, this handsome guy was also in the Arts Department and had been spending a lot of time with Liu Yisi lately. Though they hadn’t made it official, they were in the ambiguous stage. When they talked on the phone at night, the whole dormitory was filled with a lovey-dovey atmosphere. Xu Gongzhu was quite interested in that handsome guy, but he liked Liu Yisi, so the dormitory atmosphere became somewhat tense.
In the evenings, Du Qilan and Xu Zhi would take Xu Gongzhu to the field for walks or to have late-night snacks. They also had to comfort Liu Yisi to prevent her from feeling isolated. During that period, Xu Zhi and Du Qilan were caught in the middle, struggling to manage both sides. Fortunately, Senior Du was experienced, being the vice president of the student union, and handling such minor conflicts was a piece of cake for her. Xu Zhi was also straightforward, intelligent, and knew how to read the room. The two of them worked together quite well, managing to keep everyone happy, and somehow maintaining a harmonious dormitory atmosphere. In this regard, Du Qilan grew increasingly fond of Xu Zhi.
So, one evening as they were returning from the library, after careful consideration, Du Qilan asked Xu Zhi if she had ever thought about joining the student union’s presidential team directly, saying her personality was very suitable for the presidential team. “You know, sometimes when different departments clash, we in the presidential team are the most conflicted, caught in the middle.”
Xu Zhi thought for a moment and then quickly shook her head, backing away from the idea: “Oh, I’d rather just make money. I already get headaches from having meetings until ten every night. You know the Publicity Department, right? There’s not any important work, but we have to report our work every night, especially at the weekly meetings. I think it’s too exhausting.”
Du Qilan smiled and didn’t push the matter. She was about to ask if Jiang Yu was still pursuing Xu Zhi when she saw Jiang Yu coming over from the basketball court, walking briskly toward them. Jiang Yu wasn’t short, conservatively estimated at 183 cm tall. He wore knee pads on both his hands and feet, still in short sleeves and shorts despite the weather approaching October. He was indeed a handsome, funny guy. Carrying a bottle of water, he called out to Xu Zhi and Du Qilan, “What are you two up to?”
The two stopped under a streetlight, waiting for Jiang Yu to approach. Their shadows danced unpredictably under the light. Xu Zhi remembered the night of the program recording when she had chased after his shadow, stepping on it. Perhaps the shadows of all handsome guys were similar, but she always felt that Chen Luzhou’s shadow was cleaner and sharper than others, and longer too. Even his shadow seemed to have a captivating quality.
Du Qilan said to Jiang Yu: “We’re poaching people behind your back.”
Jiang Yu walked over, smiling, not sure if he had heard. He bent down, hands on his knees, and with a smile as warm as spring, looked into Xu Zhi’s eyes and asked, “Are you going home for the National Day holiday?”
“Is there something going on in the department?” Xu Zhi asked.
Jiang Yu nodded, “Just some small matters. It’s fine if you’re going home, but after the National Day holiday, the school hasn’t arranged various competitions yet, like basketball games, photography contests, calligraphy and painting exhibitions, and such. The posters in our display windows haven’t been changed, and some promotional short videos haven’t been edited. If you’re not going home, would you mind staying to work overtime during the holiday? Is that okay?”
Xu Zhi sighed, “Alright, just leave me the department key when the time comes.”
Jiang Yu smiled and said, “I’ll be with you.”
Xu Zhi was startled, glanced at Du Qilan, and was about to say never mind when Jiang Yu spoke up first, with a bit of resignation, “Xu Zhi, I heard from Senior Du that you had a boyfriend before—”
Du Qilan, hearing this, quickly interjected with a “Hey!” and shot a glare at Jiang Yu. “Jiang Yu!”
The streetlight stretched their shadows long. People from the basketball court came over, bouncing balls with rhythmic thumps. One Jiang Yu, one Xu Zhi, plus the efficient vice president of the student union—gazes from passersby couldn’t help but linger on them. Jiang Yu glanced at Du Qilan and stopped mid-sentence. He bit his lip, nodded in understanding, straightened up, and said to Xu Zhi, “Never mind, I didn’t mean anything by it. If you’re staying to help during the National Day holiday, I’ll give the key to Senior Du.”
With that, Jiang Yu gave Xu Zhi one last look before turning and leaving.
Xu Zhi and Du Qilan walked towards the dormitory, their shadows constantly overlapping and separating under the streetlights. Du Qilan looked at her, hesitating to speak, but finally explained: “Jiang Yu has never pursued anyone before, so he doesn’t know if it’s just you who’s hard to chase or if all girls are this difficult. That day he asked me, and I just casually said a couple of things. He was quite upset at the time and kept telling me he was giving up and wouldn’t pursue you anymore. I thought he had given up—”
Xu Zhi, wearing glasses, the silver lenses scattering moonlight, making her whole person seem soft and clean, asked: “Was it you who told him about the Swan Castle pattern?”
Du Qilan: “I’m sorry, I saw it by chance. Jiang Yu said he couldn’t add you on WeChat no matter what, so I jokingly told him to try changing his profile picture to Swan Castle, because I saw you staring at that Moments post for an entire afternoon.”
During that period, Xu Zhi and Du Qilan also spoke less. Xu Gongzhu didn’t know why the dormitory suddenly became like this. Xu Zhi left very early during that time and came back late at night, basically keeping to herself. Senior Du had always been a loner, so the dormitory was left with just Xu Gongzhu and Liu Yisi. Liu Yisi was always on the phone with that handsome guy, and Xu Gongzhu couldn’t focus on her studies, so she ended up staying at the library until midnight before returning.
Before the National Day holiday, the entire dormitory atmosphere was shrouded in a strange awkwardness. Finally, Xu Gongzhu couldn’t bear it anymore and talked to Senior Du, “What’s going on between you and Xu Zhi?”
Du Qilan had just returned from the library, carrying a stack of books. The two stood at the doorway as she reflected that Xu Zhi was truly different from other girls. She seemed to have no emotions towards anyone, but once she felt uncomfortable, she would distance herself imperceptibly. There wasn’t much difference in her day-to-day behavior; Xu Zhi would still talk to Du Qilan, but she rarely spoke about her affairs anymore.
Du Qilan didn’t think much of it. After all, everyone makes their own choices. She had helped Jiang Yu only because she thought he was a decent person. The fact that Xu Zhi distanced herself because Du Qilan helped Jiang Yu showed that Xu Zhi truly didn’t like Jiang Yu. This was the first time Du Qilan felt she might have meddled too much. So she said to Xu Gongzhu: “It’s nothing, don’t worry. It’ll be fine in a few days.”
Xu Gongzhu said honestly, “I just feel like the atmosphere in our dorm has been weird lately. I don’t like it this way. I’ve heard that in many girls’ dorms, four people create seven or eight chat groups. You haven’t created groups behind my back, have you?”
Du Qilan, holding her books, smiled helplessly and said: “I’m going to have to call you ‘big sister’ now. Even if I were that two-faced, do you think Xu Zhi and Liu Yisi are? Little Liu may not communicate much with us usually, and she’s been busy with her romance lately, but she’s never forgotten your share when bringing back late-night snacks. When you were short on money at the end of the month, Xu Zhi let you use her meal card for so long without saying a word.”
“That’s true, but I’ll pay her back as soon as I can. I’ve been keeping track,” Xu Gongzhu suddenly remembered something and said, “Oh right, Senior, today at our Study Department meeting, we were compiling class attendance records, and it seems the Humanities and Sciences Experimental Class has been missing one person. They said he’d report in after the National Day holiday. I was wondering, if he comes, won’t he fail Professor Wang’s course for sure?”
Du Qilan thought for a moment, “Why are you asking about this?”
Xu Gongzhu said with trepidation: “Because I was late today, and the way Professor Wang looked at me, I’m afraid I might fail too. It would be so embarrassing if I were the only one to fail this year.”
Du Qilan comforted her: “It’s hard to say with Professor Wang. He might fail too. But having missed so many classes, it’s hard not to fail. Professor Wang’s course is already difficult, and midterms are coming up soon. You’d better prepare well. Isn’t Xu Zhi good at math? Why don’t you ask her for help?”