After Xie Qingyao married, her biggest concern was her elder brother.
Her brother’s marriage had become a long-standing issue.
No, to be precise, her brother seemed completely uninterested in marriage and having children.
Xie Qingyao didn’t give up. Taking advantage of living in the capital after marriage, which made visiting her maiden home convenient, she once again tentatively broached the subject with Xie Yinlou.
“Elder Brother, the other day I visited Minister Zhao’s residence and thought Miss Zhao Seventeen was quite nice—”
Xie Yinlou glanced at Xie Qingyao, his expression serious. “Has my sister been idle lately?”
Xie Qingyao faltered, then said irritably, “Elder Brother, stop changing the subject every time!”
Xie Yinlou’s expression remained unchanged as he calmly asked, “When will you give me a nephew?”
Xie Qingyao’s face turned green as she twisted her handkerchief angrily, “Elder Brother, I’ve only been married for half a year!”
What was this? She urged her brother to marry, and he urged her to have children.
“You’ve just married, Sister. You should focus on managing your household affairs. There’s no need to keep worrying about your elder brother in the future.”
“Elder Brother!” Xie Qingyao bit her lip in frustration and used her trump card. Her eyes reddened, and tears fell. “They say a married daughter is like spilled water, so I suppose a married sister is like foot-washing water. Elder Brother, are you tired of me?”
Xie Yinlou’s serious face immediately contorted. With a massive headache, he said, “Sister, what are you saying? Please don’t cry—”
“Then when will Elder Brother marry?”
Xie Yinlou was silent for a moment, then said, “I have no plans to marry for now.”
Xie Qingyao anxiously grabbed Xie Yinlou’s sleeve. “Elder Brother, what are you thinking? I’m not a little girl anymore. Can’t you share your thoughts with me? Father and Mother are gone, and we siblings only have each other in this world…”
If only their parents were still alive, she wouldn’t have to worry about her brother’s marriage as a younger sister.
Seeing Xie Yinlou’s silence, Xie Qingyao bit her lip and said, “Elder Brother, are you still thinking about Ah Si?”
Xie Yinlou’s expression changed abruptly. He said sternly, “Fourth Sister Jiang is now the Empress. Don’t speak of such things again. If word spreads, we couldn’t bear the consequences.”
“I’m not saying this to anyone else.”
Seeing that Xie Qingyao hadn’t taken his words to heart, Xie Yinlou sighed, “I have no romantic feelings for Fourth Sister Jiang. In my heart, she’s the same as you.”
“Really?”
Xie Yinlou smiled helplessly. “I have no reason to deceive you.”
“Then why have you never shown any interest in marriage and having children?” Xie Qingyao suddenly thought of something and gasped. “Elder Brother, you… you’re not—”
“What?” Xie Yinlou asked, puzzled.
Xie Qingyao’s gaze fell on the bamboo-green sleeve she was holding, and she hurriedly let go.
Could it be that her brother preferred men?
Xie Yinlou frowned, staring at his swaying sleeve, and suddenly understood Xie Qingyao’s meaning.
“Sister, it’s getting late. You should return home now!”
Xie Qingyao covered her mouth. “Oh no, I’ve guessed right! Elder Brother is angry from embarrassment!”
Xie Yinlou’s temple throbbed, but he couldn’t scold or hit his sister. He could only take a deep breath and say, “I am perfectly normal!”
“Then give me a reason, or I won’t leave. You’re over twenty now, and you haven’t even been betrothed. How can our parents rest in peace?”
Xie Yinlou listened silently, his face as pale as paper, showing a vulnerability Xie Qingyao had never seen before.
Xie Qingyao regretted her harsh words and stammered, “I’ll go home then. I’ll visit you another day, Elder Brother.”
After Xie Qingyao left, Xie Yinlou silently walked into his study.
The study was spacious and bright. Spring sunlight poured in through the windows, boundlessly cheerful.
But Xie Yinlou’s mood was heavy, like a narrow alley under endless drizzle, never seeing a clear day.
Out of filial piety, he should marry early and have children to continue the Earl’s lineage.
But in his heart, he didn’t want to.
He didn’t want to marry someone else when his heart belonged to another.
He knew this thought was laughable and unfilial, but he couldn’t compromise on this matter.
He was accustomed to being a man of few words. If he married someone other than her, he feared he might not want to speak at all.
That would ultimately harm both himself and others.
Rather than that, let him grow old under the strange gazes of others. After he turned thirty, he could adopt a son from the clan, which would be an explanation to his parents in the afterlife.
Xie Yinlou opened a hidden compartment and took out an exquisite box.
The box was made of fine sandalwood, intricately carved. Inside, lined with fine velvet, lay only a folded handkerchief.
The handkerchief was originally pure white but had yellowed with age.
Xie Yinlou picked up the silk handkerchief, gently smoothing it before carefully putting it away. His thoughts drifted back to long ago.
Back then, he was as mischievous as Jiang Er, delighting in playing pranks on others. But once, he was the one pranked.
Feeling too ashamed to go home, it was the owner of the handkerchief who helped him wipe away the dirt and blood, saving him from disgrace.
That person was Jiang Er’s elder sister, Jiang Yi.
Since then, he never forgot how she gently wiped his wounds.
That scene replayed in his mind countless times. When he finally understood matters of the heart, he realized she had long been in his heart.
But by then, she was already betrothed and soon to be married.
He finally understood that feeling was called love, but it was too late.
In his youthful passion, he could only suppress the turbulent waves in his heart with an increasingly cold exterior, grieving silently.
Seeing her safe and happy, he didn’t object when his parents discussed marriage arrangements for him at the appropriate age.
Parental orders and matchmakers’ words—wasn’t everyone the same? Endure it, and this life will pass. At least the woman he loved was doing well.
But then something happened to her.
She wasn’t living as well as he thought. She was in a precarious situation, as bad as it could be.
She divorced and returned to the East Ping Earl’s residence.
The woman he loved was now just a household away, living under someone else’s roof.
He could no longer pretend everything was normal and marry someone else.
Compared to the unchanged Yongchang Earl’s residence, the East Ping Earl’s residence became increasingly lively.
The Jiang family had become the Empress’s clan, their status vastly different from before.
Xie Yinlou couldn’t help but pay attention to any changes at the East Ping Earl’s residence.
He gradually learned that many matchmakers had come, seeking to arrange a marriage for Jiang Yi.
Jiang Yi was outstanding in both appearance and character. Although some noble families minded that she had been married before, many more didn’t care at all, given that she was the Empress’s elder sister.
What did it matter if she had been married before? Even the Empress of the previous dynasty had several children with her former husband before remarrying and becoming Empress.
Xie Yinlou’s heart was suddenly in turmoil.
One day, as Jiang Yi was returning from visiting Jiang Si in the palace, Xie Yinlou intercepted her.
On the bluestone road, in front of a willow tree, a small green-curtained carriage stopped by the roadside. Jiang Yi lifted a corner of the curtain and asked, “Does Young Master Xie have something to discuss?”
Xie Yinlou, with a serious expression, lowered his gaze and said, “There’s something I’d like to ask. May we speak privately?”
Jiang Yi hesitated briefly before alighting from the carriage.
They walked to the willow tree, away from the maids and servants.
Jiang Yi smiled and asked, “What does Young Master Xie want to ask?”
Xie Yinlou was silent for a moment, knowing he had no time to waste. Gathering his courage, he asked, “Do you… have any plans to remarry?”
Jiang Yi’s smile froze. Though puzzled by Xie Yinlou’s question, she shook her head. “No, I don’t.”
Xie Yinlou fell silent again.
Jiang Yi gradually felt uncomfortable and curtsied slightly. “If there’s nothing else, I’ll be going now.”
“What if that person were me?”
Jiang Yi’s heart jolted, and she took half a step back in surprise.
Xie Yinlou gazed at Jiang Yi, his expression earnest. “Jiang Yi, please don’t call me Young Master Xie. You can call me Yinlou. I’ve always loved you. If you’re willing to marry me, I’ll send a matchmaker to the Earl’s residence to propose…”
“Young Master Xie, please don’t jest. You have a suitable match waiting for you. I only wish to raise my daughter and have no thoughts of remarrying. Today’s conversation… I’ll pretend I never heard it.” With that, Jiang Yi fled.
Xie Yinlou watched the carriage racing towards the East Ping Earl’s residence and smiled self-mockingly.
He had anticipated this outcome, but he couldn’t help trying anyway.
From then on, she didn’t remarry, and he didn’t marry. It was a form of companionship, he supposed. Compared to couples separated by death, he was content.
But if there were a next life, let him be born a few years earlier. He didn’t want to be “Young Master Xie” again.