Qing Ye lowered her head and bit into the corn, each swallow accompanied by a painful lump in her throat. She knew clearly what returning with her father would mean. There were still so many things she hadn’t told Xing Wu, so many decisions unmade. Everything was too sudden, leaving her thoughts in such disarray that her eyelashes trembled violently.
After the pot had been heating for a while, Li Lanfang quickly got up to check the fire. Qing Ye’s tears finally broke free, as reason and emotion continuously intertwined, nearly driving her mad.
Li Lanfang turned off the stove and came out of the kitchen, saying to Qing Ye, “Tonight’s food is all in the pot. If you don’t want to stay with your father, eat by yourself. I’m going to the hospital – the old lady has been acting up again these past two days. It’s truly endless.”
She went inside to change her shoes, and when she came out, she suddenly exclaimed, “Oh right, Qing Ye, Wu Zi seems to have some money that hasn’t been settled. People haven’t been able to find him these past few days. They asked me to go collect it quickly and sign something about numbers. I don’t understand it – if you’re free later, help him collect it.”
Qing Ye slowly raised her head to look at her. “Where?”
Li Lanfang pulled out her phone to show Qing Ye the text message, telling her, “It probably isn’t much money. After you collect it, just keep it for yourself.”
After speaking, Li Lanfang hurriedly left for the hospital. Qing Ye also stood up from the doorstep. The afternoon sun still scorched the earth, with dry air permeating everything. Qing Ye very much disliked this climate, but during her time here, she seemed to have grown accustomed to this feeling. Perhaps it was because this was Xing Wu’s home. Even the densely packed self-built houses within sight, the potholed streets, and the small shops at intersections all felt more intimate. It seemed that just breathing the air here made her feel Xing Wu was still by her side. Perhaps with just one turn, he would suddenly appear before her and tell her: “I’m back.”
But once she left this place and returned to her father’s side, everything in the future would become uncertain. After they lived apart, how could they make their lives intersect again?
Like two people standing at a crossroads, they would ultimately have to turn toward different paths. Whether they would be together again in the future, and how long it would take, everything had become unknown.
With these thoughts weighing heavily on her mind, she walked out to the intersection and hailed a car, giving the driver the address. As the car picked up speed, the scenery outside the window changed from familiar to strange. Without realizing it, Qing Ye arrived at a place she had never been before. Sand blew through the window into her eyes, and she quickly closed the window and rubbed her eyes. Outside, dust was flying everywhere, the streets on both sides were bare, and large cargo trucks would occasionally pass by, stirring up even more dust.
The taxi stopped under a large entrance, telling her this was Ba Dao Kou. Qing Ye paid and got out, walking through the hazy entrance. Looking around, the place was huge, with goods scattered chaotically everywhere. Dirty-looking men were visible throughout, disheveled and grimy. Trucks continuously shuttled through, making thunderous sounds as they drove over the steel plates on the ground. A van coming head-on charged recklessly through, frightening Qing Ye into quickly moving aside.
At first glance, this place resembled a large logistics distribution center or warehouse, but it was much more disorganized than a distribution center. Her appearance here as a clean-looking young girl drew many curious glances.
Qing Ye quickly approached a brother who looked relatively honest and asked where the Tianda Finance Office was. The brother, with a dirty towel hanging around his neck, pointed backward: “Go straight to the end, turn right, and look for a red house.”
His voice was almost a shout, making Qing Ye’s ears ring, but she still repeatedly thanked him and followed his directions. She had originally thought it would be a proper building, but after passing by twice and asking people nearby, she finally discovered that the makeshift house was the so-called finance office.
Qing Ye went in and explained her purpose. The middle-aged woman in the finance office took out a large ledger with a yellowed cover, found Xing Wu’s name, then tossed it to Qing Ye, saying, “Sit over there and check it yourself. If there’s no problem, sign at the back.”
Qing Ye said “Thank you” and sat down on the plastic chair by the window. The ledger was filled with densely packed names. She found Xing Wu’s entry, which recorded the time – it was piece-rate pay for March, showing six to seven hours or more of work time each day.
Qing Ye suddenly flipped the ledger back, quickly finding February’s records, and January’s, but December’s records were no longer in this book. She couldn’t determine when Xing Wu had started working here, but how did he have the time? He was even spending five to six hours here every day?
Suddenly, she remembered something – the driving school. Xing Wu had told her he was going to driving school every day. When did that start? Qing Ye thought back – it seemed to be not long after Shun Yi closed that Xing Wu told her he had enrolled in driving school.
So after the New Year, he would return at nine or ten every night. When her tutoring classes resumed, Xing Wu was even busier than her, returning home even later. Sometimes he was always dirty, and while Qing Ye knew he had taken on some work outside – he often took on jobs before, nothing more than fixing networks at some company or maintaining machines at some factory – she never imagined Xing Wu would come to such a place to do manual labor.
Qing Ye suddenly felt cold all over. She raised her head to look through the cramped window. Sun-darkened men carried huge cargo boxes on their shoulders, bent under the weight, with large beads of sweat continuously dripping from their foreheads. On the truck, such boxes were countless at a glance, and men stood on top of the truck, nearly three meters high, moving things down box by box under the sun, unable to straighten their backs for long periods.
Qing Ye was still wearing long sleeves, but these men were already bare-chested, sweating profusely. On another side, a young man squatting in the corner eating his meal had barely taken two bites before being called to carry cargo again. Those older men cursed at him loudly. Even in such a bottom-level survival environment, oppression and class distinctions still existed invisibly.
The boxed meal was just thrown on the ground. The entire area was filled with dust, carrying an oppressive heaviness. Chaos, filth, and laborers working continuously like machines.
Qing Ye’s heart suddenly clenched tightly. Over the past few months, Xing Wu had been just like these people, doing heavy, arduous labor. He might even have been ordered around like that young man just now, bearing more work, all for the numbers in this ledger.
Several times at night, feeling the increasingly thick calluses on his fingertips, she had wondered when such days would end.
During that time, he had to cover grandmother’s medical expenses, and caregiver fees, buy machines for the factory, and gradually get her those not-so-cheap daily necessities. When she wanted to buy a dictionary, he directly transferred her the money.
And this money was earned by him in such a harsh environment. Qing Ye didn’t want to and couldn’t bear to look at the scene outside the window anymore. She suddenly felt that everyone before her had become Xing Wu. She seemed to see him climbing to such heights, such dangerous places to unload cargo, seemed to see him sweating profusely, bent under the weight of cargo boxes, seemed to see him squatting in that corner surrounded by filthy garbage, eating that unappetizing boxed meal.
Qing Ye buried her face in her palms, instantly breaking into tears. She had never known that what she brought to Xing Wu would be such an unbearable life. He shouldn’t be like this, shouldn’t be doing such bottom-level work. If it wasn’t for money, if it wasn’t for trying to earn as much as possible, how could he end up like this?
She didn’t care at all, didn’t care that they had nothing now, didn’t care about staying with him in hotels. From the moment she decided to bet their future with her future, nothing else mattered.
But he said he cared, so he desperately earned money, carefully hiding all the hardships, showing only his most relaxed side to her. However, when Qing Ye stepped in here, all the truth was torn open, and laid bloody before her eyes.
He wasn’t relaxed, not at all relaxed. She didn’t even know if she had brought him happiness or disaster!
It turned out that family burdens had already forced him to mature beyond his years, forced to bear so much of life’s pressure at such a young age, and now, she had also become one of his burdens.
Three thousand two hundred yuan – this was Xing Wu’s total piece-rate income for half a month before the County Sports Meet in March. She even saw that the person below Xing Wu only earned just over four thousand for the entire month. In this county town with such low wages, an income of over three thousand in half a month – Qing Ye couldn’t imagine how many heavy goods he had to move to earn such numbers.
When she left that place, it was a long gravel road with no cars, only occasional trucks rushing past her from that place she had just left. She walked aimlessly with heavy steps.
The sunset spread intense light across the earth, yet it seemed blocked by a layer of dust. Everything visible was covered in an intangible veil. The distant trees were desolate, with occasional dilapidated mud houses, half-collapsed and abandoned.
Following the gravel road up the hillside, past the mud houses, Qing Ye froze. In the distance, the vast endless Gobi Desert was magnificent and grand. The earth was ignited by the sunset, like a raging fire burning heaven and earth.
Qing Ye’s dim eyes were suddenly illuminated by this scene before her. She had somehow inexplicably walked to this stretch of the Gobi Desert where Xing Wu had brought her before as if destined.
That day under the vast sky, under the brilliant sunset glow, they got together.
Back then, looking at where heaven and earth met, she had asked him if he believed that the person you liked in high school could be remembered for a lifetime. She said she wouldn’t spend a lifetime remembering one person, that she, Qing Ye, wouldn’t be ruined by anything. Back then, she was so confident she could bring him light, and drive away his darkness.
But looking at it now, what had she brought him? Perhaps sweetness, perhaps tenderness, but also accompanied by greater burdens. She had never thought that because they were together, Xing Wu would have to pay such a great price. He was only eighteen; he shouldn’t be buried in dusty manual labor all day.
He had said before that money issues had changed the path he wanted to take. This kind of fucking thing had happened to him too many times. What reason did she have to continue letting these fucking things happen to him just so she could walk her path?
Looking at this passionate stretch of land, Qing Ye suddenly found peace. She started laughing silently, and as she laughed, tears flowed out. She would leave this place, leave the factory to Xing Wu. Although it didn’t earn much, it was enough to cover my grandmother’s monthly hospitalization fees. He wouldn’t need to rush about for a living anymore, and wouldn’t need to worry about her tuition fees. This was their best choice.
Some say the person you like in high school can be remembered for a lifetime. Only today did Qing Ye understand the meaning of these words. They in high school were like the tiniest specks of dust in this world, floating in the air, not knowing where they would end up in the future, without thick feathers, without solid wings. How many people lost each other in the ups and downs, so that past sincerity became an indelible memory in their hearts?
But a lifetime is very long. She still had lots of time and could do many things. She wasn’t a coward, so she wouldn’t stand still.
Qing Ye turned around to take one last look at this dazzling stretch of the Gobi Desert, then took out her phone and called her father.