On her first night sleeping in the dormitory, Xia Xia had nightmares all night long.

In her dream, she returned to a summer when she was seven years old, walking barefoot in the mud of a fenced yard after a heavy rain had just cleared.

The puddle was deep with water, and when she stepped in, mud splattered onto her calves and the hem of her white polka-dot dress.

Wu Li had been sick for two weeks, and dirty laundry had piled up like a mountain at home. This was her last clean dress.

Xia Xia crouched by the ditch outside the fence where days of heavy rain had collected clear water. She lifted her dress and carefully scrubbed the mud spots. As a child who didn’t know how to wash clothes properly, her little hands turned red from scrubbing, yet the stains on her dress only grew larger.

She stared blankly, her eyes reddening.

Heavy footsteps sounded behind her.

Xia Xia turned around to see a face weathered tea-brown by the village’s yellow earth. The man reeked of cheap cigarettes and liquor as he pinched her soft arm and ankle with his rough fingers.

His clouded eyes fixed on the visible edge of her pink underwear as he licked his brownish-purple lips: “Come to Uncle’s house, Uncle will help you wash it.”

Xia Xia grew increasingly restless in her dream, cold sweat gradually forming on her forehead.

She then dreamed of another hot summer, surrounded by scorching heat, with the stench of urine wafting from the weeds at the base of the old apartment building.

Steel wires were strung between the poplar trees, deeply embedded in their bark, where Wu Li often hung bedding to dry.

During summer afternoons, sunlight would always filter through the dense poplar leaves, drying away the damp, musty smell from the bedding. When hugged while sleeping at night, they would smell of sunshine and fresh grass.

During the evening rush hour, crowds of onlookers gathered three layers deep around the building.

A woman with bloodshot eyes, all traces of dignity gone, clutched Xia Xia’s hair violently.

Though her scalp hurt from the woman’s grip and her face stung from more than a dozen slaps, she bit her lip hard, refusing to cry.

The woman screamed hysterically: “How much money did you trick Pan Jia Peng into spending on you? Are you going to tell me or not?”

With each accusation, the woman slapped her face, leaving countless scratches on her arms and neck with her nails.

Unable to bear the pain, Xia Xia turned her head to seek help from Wu Li, but Wu Li was held back by Wei Jin Hai.

“She did such a shameless thing and now can’t take a beating? If you dare intervene, I’ll beat you too.” Wei Jin Hai’s face was ashen, his contemptuous gaze falling on Xia Xia.

“Shameless slut, throwing yourself at men.” He spat, “Don’t call me father anymore, I’m ashamed to claim you.”

The woman’s face was contorted, like a crazed lioness, moving from slaps to trying to tear off her clothes.

Xia Xia fully absorbed Wei Jin Hai’s garbage-like stare, and her already tepid heart was instantly drenched in ice water from the inside out.

Xia Xia pushed the woman away and returned a slap across her face.

That slap used every ounce of her strength, and her voice was ice-cold: “Try hitting me again.”

The stifling air froze in that instant.

Xia Xia felt a sweet, metallic taste of blood rise in her throat, her heart pounding chaotically, every breath a struggle.

Suddenly, everything around grew quiet.

She sensed something and turned around, seeing Pan Jia Peng’s face in the center of the crowd.

…

When Xia Xia jolted awake from her dream, it was exactly seven in the morning.

Her pillowcase was soaked with cold sweat from her nightmare, her body aching. Looking in the mirror after getting up, her face appeared transparently pale.

This morning she had to go to the university hospital for a physical examination.

Zhao Shan Qi and Cai Yun weren’t up yet. After washing up, Xia Xia quietly took the disposable food container from the table and went out.

Last night, Zhu Zi Yu had ordered a barbecue for three people but only ate enough for half a person.

Looking at the pile of leftover meat, she said, “I’m going to pack this for breakfast, want some?”

Xia Xia shook her head, then saw Zhu Zi Yu picking through and taking only half, so she asked, “You don’t want the rest?”

Zhu Zi Yu said, “I can’t eat anymore, might as well throw it away.”

So Xia Xia bought a box of white rice for two yuan and packed up the remaining meat.

Zhu Zi Yu said, “You should have done that from the start.”

Xia Xia replied, “I’ll pay you back later.”

Zhu Zi Yu snorted without saying anything.

When Xia Xia went downstairs, Zhu Zi Yu was sitting in the duty room with her feet up, shoveling food into her mouth. Xia Xia heated her leftovers in the microwave and joined her to eat.

They didn’t talk much throughout the meal and afterward went to the university hospital together.

Walking alongside Zhu Zi Yu, Xia Xia felt somewhat awkward remembering how her attempt to act vulnerable had been exposed the night before.

She knew in her heart she wasn’t naturally gentle-natured. Growing up in the village, if any child dared to hit her, she would find a way to hit back. But after moving in with Wei Jin Hai, she learned to restrain herself in many ways.

In a lasting social relationship, making oneself appear well-behaved and sensible was the way to be liked, and only by being liked could one avoid abandonment. But with strangers who were just passing by, there was no need for such considerations – one could act however they wanted.

Perhaps she had pretended for so long in front of Wei Jin Hai that she subconsciously disguised herself in front of others too.

She couldn’t forget Wei Jin Hai’s contemptuous and fearful look when he saw her slap Pan Jia Peng’s mother, nor could she forget his harsh words.

“I always knew you weren’t well-behaved, pretending all these years in front of me.” He exhaled a breath of foul alcohol. “No matter how well you pretend, you’ll never be a proper lady, never fly high enough to become a phoenix. You’re destined for the slums, you’re just a street rat, a rough character who’ll never amount to anything.”

At that time, Xia Xia’s whole body ached, but being scolded like this to her face didn’t hurt much.

She just felt sad that after years of living cautiously, never daring to show her true nature, thinking she had done her best, her acting was still seen as clumsy by others.

She had never considered Wei Jin Hai’s family, so he couldn’t truly hurt her.

All of her attention, without missing a single bit, was focused on Pan Jia Peng, who had rushed over breathlessly.

Pan Jia Peng wore an expression of speechless surprise, and after a long pause, asked with difficulty: “Xia Xia, how could you do this?”

Once someone maintains a certain state for a long time, it’s not easy to escape from it.

Xia Xia didn’t want to escape either. Being a naive sweetie wasn’t her intention, but it made it easier to be liked by others.

Before, she wasn’t skilled enough, lacking in finesse, revealing her true nature when provoked.

If given another chance, she would do better.

Before entering the school gates, Xia Xia had practiced a sweet smile in the rearview mirror of a motorcycle parked by the entrance, while silently making a resolution – she must behave properly and stay in line, not provoke others if they don’t provoke her, and even if they do, she could try to endure it.

But Zhu Zi Yu hadn’t given her the chance to pretend, exposing her on the very first day of school.

Xia Xia felt somewhat devastated.

Xie Huai was woken up in the morning by Xin Pu’s loud voice.

“Holy shit! The school rules test results are out!”

Xie Huai was still groggy, irritably turning over and wrapping his head in his blanket.

Below, Xin Pu couldn’t contain his excitement, rushing over to shake his bed frame: “Huai Ge, Huai Ge!”

Xie Huai pulled out his pillow and threw it down, shouting impatiently: “Get lost!”

“Huai Ge, stop fucking sleeping!” Xin Pu scrambled up onto his bed and threw his phone in front of him, “You only got 48 points on the school rules test, there are only two failures in the whole college, and you have the nerve to sleep!”

Xie Huai: “…”

His sleepiness instantly vanished. He sat up, ruffling his messy hair, his expression still sour from being woken up.

He picked up Xin Pu’s phone and immediately saw the bright red 48 points at the top of the electronic transcript.

At the university hospital.

The doctor looked at Xia Xia’s ECG with furrowed brows: “Do you have heart problems?”

Xia Xia nodded.

Her heart problems had been discovered during her college entrance physical examination, and she had told Wei Jin Hai that night.

Wei Jin Hai was drinking in the living room, picked his ear as if he had heard some unnecessary nonsense, and turned to look at Xia Xia: “Are you expecting me to pay for your treatment?”

Xia Xia hadn’t expected that, and hearing such words from Wei Jin Hai didn’t disappoint her.

Since Wei Jin Hai didn’t care, she cared even less. If she dropped dead one day from sudden cardiac arrest, it would be an early escape from suffering to ultimate bliss.

The doctor wrote a few lines on her examination report and handed it back: “The university hospital has limited facilities. Have your family take you to a major hospital for examination as soon as possible. In your condition, you should avoid prolonged physical training and military training is not recommended.”

Xia Xia asked: “Is it serious? Will it kill me?”

The doctor saw a flash of joy on the young girl’s face when she mentioned “death,” and thought his eyes must be playing tricks on him.

He advised: “It’s not that serious. Early treatment means it’s just a minor issue. You’re still young, don’t keep talking about death.”

Xia Xia took the report and went out, looking down at the ECG in her hands when she accidentally bumped into someone in front of her.

The path ahead was completely blocked by someone. Without looking up, she tried to step aside to go around, but the person moved sideways, continuing to block her path.

Xia Xia looked up and saw Xie Huai’s face.

Almost instantly, her expressionless face bloomed into a sweet smile: “Huai Ge, you’re here for the physical too?”

After greeting him, she tried to leave, but Xie Huai blocked her path for the third time. She had to stop, feeling a slight sense of foreboding, but after careful thought, she figured that in the short time since last night, she couldn’t have offended him again.

The young woman’s innocent expression was like a soft lamb, her big eyes moist and bright, pupils dark and seemingly glowing.

Unable to figure out what Xie Huai was up to, she thought for a moment and said: “I’ll have to send you this month’s money a few days late.”

Xie Huai didn’t mention the money.

“Just to write my name on the test paper, I got lectured by the counselor for two hours.” He narrowed his eyes, his gaze cold and dangerous.

He took out his phone and held it in front of her eyes: “And you got me a fucking 48 points?”

Xia Xia: “…”

“That’s impossible!” She was stunned, “I’ve never failed an exam!”

From childhood, the only thing Xia Xia had prided herself on was studying. With her nearly photographic memory and quick understanding, Xia Xia had been praised for her academics all her life. Not only had she never failed, she had never even come in second place.

A score of 48 was simply humiliating to her, shattering all the brilliant past glory of an academic star.

Xia Xia couldn’t accept it.

Xie Huai: “Am I blind?”

“The teacher must have graded it wrong, definitely graded it wrong!” Xia Xia was certain, her confidence making her completely forget that she hadn’t even read the school rules handbook, “Let’s go find the counselor to check the test paper. I absolutely cannot have scored 48 points. If I scored 48, nobody would have passed.”

Xie Huai put away his phone, raising an eyebrow: “I heard that five minutes after the exam started, someone sent answers to the freshman group.”

Xia Xia: “…”

If Xie Huai hadn’t mentioned it, she had almost forgotten about yesterday’s mass cheating during the exam.

“The answers matched the test questions almost perfectly. My roommate told me everyone in the exam room was copying the answers. If I failed, there’s only one possibility.”

Xie Huai’s eyes were cold: “The person who helped me with the test did it on purpose.”

Xia Xia remained silent.

After a long while, she spoke with a serious expression: “Your roommate overlooked another possibility.”

Xie Huai: “?”

“…Maybe the person helping you didn’t bring their phone.”

“And maybe their luck wasn’t so good, and they happened to sit next to the counselor…”

Xie Huai fell silent.

As soon as he opened his mouth, Xia Xia became nervous, but when he didn’t speak, she found the silence unbearable. She clutched her examination report, creating a crease in the ECG, the undulating electrical waves separated by the fold, making her feel as chaotic as those lines.

Xia Xia’s earlier determined spirit had vanished, and she felt worried inside.

She wasn’t afraid of Xie Huai scolding her; she was only afraid he would get angry and take back the unpaid bedding.

“That would be quite the coincidence then.” Xie Huai said coldly.

“One day as husband and wife, a hundred days of affection. We may have failed as potential hookup partners, but we could count as half-day spouses.” His gaze was detached, “Today I’ll give you face and won’t hit a woman, but Xia Xia, remember this.”