While Chu Zhao and Xiao Jue were talking outside, He Yan was inside, hoping to eavesdrop. Even with her ear pressed against the door, all she could hear was the wind outside. She had planned to ask about the situation after Xiao Jue returned, but despite waiting for a long time, Xiao Jue never came back to the room. She fell asleep without realizing it, and by the time she woke up the next day, both Chu Zhao and Ying Xiang had left Liangzhou Guard.

They had departed early in the morning with their guards.

After Chu Zhao’s departure, Lin Shuanghe was surprisingly the happiest. This puzzled He Yan, as there hadn’t been any unpleasant incidents between Lin Shuanghe and Chu Zhao. However, judging by Lin Shuanghe’s enthusiasm, he seemed genuinely delighted about Chu Zhao’s departure.

Xiao Jue no longer spoke with the same sarcastic tone as he had in the previous days, which made He Yan feel relieved. Chu Zhao’s early departure seemed to be beneficial for both him and others.

Liangzhou Guard returned to tranquility, with daily training continuing as usual. However, He Yan knew the peaceful days wouldn’t last long. As Chu Zhao had said, changes were already happening, and the appearance of the Wutuo people would bring tremors to Great Wei.

One day, He Yan was practicing archery and horsemanship with the Southern Garrison troops. It was mid-May, and summer arrived earlier in Liangzhou Guard than in other places, with sweltering heat enveloping everyone. As the days grew longer, both the Southern Garrison and Liangzhou Guard had doubled their training time.

She dismounted after crossing the mountain, completely drenched in sweat as if she had been pulled from the water. She wiped her sweat with a handkerchief after the final round. Tian Lang nodded slightly at He Yan. For a recruit from the Liangzhou Guard to keep up with the Southern Garrison troops and even show exceptional archery and horsemanship skills among them was truly remarkable.

The training ground at Liangzhou Guard had already dispersed. Hong Shan and others who were waiting to eat with He Yan were watching from the side. He Yan tied up her horse, returned the bow and arrows, and walked over to them with large strides.

Xiaomai stared at her with bright eyes: “Brother He, how has your archery become even more precise? I watched carefully – you hit the bullseye every time.”

In just over a year, Xiaomai had grown much taller. Previously, He Yan could reach his shoulder by standing on tiptoes, but now she had to look up slightly to see him. She smiled, “You’ve become quite skilled too.”

“What’s the point of you two complimenting each other?” Wang Ba poured cold water on their conversation. “Will it make flowers bloom?”

Everyone knew his temperament and didn’t take offense, simply walking towards the dining area. After getting their steamed buns and vegetable porridge, they found a place to sit. He Yan took a sip of porridge when she heard Jiang Jiao ask, “Do you know about Rundou?”

“Rundou?” Before He Yan could speak, Huang Xiong replied first, “When I was chasing my enemy years ago, I passed through Rundou. It’s a small city famous for its grapes. The grapes there are like purple jade – large and sweet.”

“Really?” Xiaomai licked his lips. “Is Rundou far? I’ve only eaten sour wild grapes, never sweet ones!”

Huang Xiong thought for a moment: “About a month’s journey from here.”

He Yan asked, “Why did Brother Jiang bring up Rundou?”

Jiang Jiao sighed: “Today I went to find Instructor Shen to help me send a letter back to the capital requesting a new spear. When I went in, I happened to overhear him talking with Instructor Ma.”

Everyone looked at Jiang Jiao, waiting for him to continue.

“It turns out that in the previous battle at Huayuan, the Wutuo forces split into two routes – one attacking Huayuan and the other attacking Rundou, which isn’t far from Huayuan. Huayuan is larger than Rundou with more people, and with General Feihe defending it, they managed to hold despite heavy losses. But the situation in Rundou isn’t good. It’s just a small city with few troops. Once the Wutuo people attack, without external aid, losing the city gates is just a matter of time.”

“Is it that serious?” Hong Shan was stunned.

They were far away in Liangzhou, almost the most remote part of Great Wei where no news reached them. Had the situation outside already become so dire?

“What can we do?” Xiaomai, being young, spoke urgently. “We can’t just ignore the lives of an entire city.”

“Huayuan is close to Rundou. Now that the Wutuo people have retreated from Huayuan, General Feihe can lead the remaining Fuyu Army to support Rundou,” Stone said seriously. “Rundou won’t fall.”

“That’s good,” Hong Shan relaxed. “With General Feihe and the Fuyu Army, Rundou will be saved.”

As they talked, Jiang Jiao looked at He Yan: “Brother He, why aren’t you saying anything?”

At some point, He Yan had lowered her head and remained silent. She hadn’t touched her food and seemed lost in thought. When called, she raised her head, her eyes burning so brightly it startled everyone.

“…Are you alright?” Wang Ba waved at her suspiciously.

He Yan took a deep breath: “I’m fine.”

She asked Jiang Jiao: “Do you know the exact situation in Rundou now?”

Jiang Jiao shook his head: “I only heard half before Instructor Shen discovered me. He didn’t want to tell me the details, probably fearing it would unsettle people in Liangzhou Guard.” He sighed again, “But I just don’t understand. We came all this way and trained hard every day to defend our land when enemies invaded. Now Great Wei’s people are suffering, yet we continue training as usual. Isn’t this like burying our heads in the sand? What’s the point of being soldiers?”

Young soldiers naturally carried a burning passion, and facing enemies at their doorstep was something they couldn’t simply ignore. Asking them to pretend ignorance like scared turtles was nearly impossible.

“Your words aren’t right,” Hong Shan said. “If we’re not needed, it means the situation isn’t that bad, and the Wutuo people aren’t that arrogant. If we’re needed, it means things have become irreparable, and Great Wei’s people would suffer even more. Wouldn’t that be worse?”

Jiang Jiao thought about it and felt Hong Shan made sense, so he fell silent.

Xiaomai asked: “Brother He, do you think General Feihe will win or lose after supporting Rundou?”

“Is that even a question?” Wang Ba answered without thinking: “One hundred and fifty thousand Fuyu troops, I heard they lost less than fifty thousand at Huayuan, so there are still nearly a hundred thousand left. Rundou is just a small city, and the Wutuo forces attacking it probably aren’t many. Adding the city’s troops, even a fool could win. General Feihe defended Huayuan, there’s no reason he couldn’t defend such a small city. I think you’re all worrying needlessly. Instead of worrying about others, worry about when we’ll get meat with every meal!”

His words were always unpleasant to hear, so everyone ignored him. Xiaomai looked at He Yan again: “Brother He, do you also think General Feihe will win?”

He Yan looked down at the porridge in her bowl. The porridge was so thin it could reflect her face like a mirror. She spoke slowly, her voice calm: “I think he won’t support Rundou.”

After eating with Hong Shan and the others, He Yan didn’t chat with them as usual, saying she was tired from training and wanted to rest early.

On her way back, He Yan kept thinking about what Jiang Jiao had said earlier.

Are the Wutuo people attacking Rundou? In fact, just looking at the distance between Huayuan and Rundou, He Rufei’s support would be the most natural thing. Everyone thought so, which was why when He Yan said He Rufei wouldn’t support Rundou, even the usually agreeable Xiaomai wouldn’t believe it.

“Why? General Feihe has already won the battle, and Huayuan is safe now. He can’t just ignore people dying, can he? General Feihe is not someone who would ignore people in need!”

Hearing this, He Yan felt both joy and sorrow. She was glad that her years of effort had been recognized, and that she had played the role of General Feihe well. The sorrow came from people projecting their impressions of her onto He Rufei, leaving themselves completely defenseless and giving him countless opportunities to take advantage.

He Rufei certainly wouldn’t go to support Rundou because Rundou’s city commander, Li Kuang, had worked with General Feihe before. Li Kuang knew that “General Feihe,” and He Rufei, being an impostor, would be exposed to even slight contact with Li Kuang. He Rufei knew this, so he would find ways to delay, probably waiting until Li Kuang’s death and Rundou’s fall before appearing.

To avoid having his identity exposed, He Rufei was capable of sacrificing an entire city’s worth of lives.

She had once briefly stayed in Rundou herself, though at that time it wasn’t the Wutuo nation harassing Rundou’s people, but the Xi Qiang people. She had fought there and formed bonds with the local people. Now hearing news of Rundou again, she couldn’t remain unmoved, both publicly and privately.

The room was close by, and through the window, she could see the light on in Xiao Jue’s room. He Yan walked to his door, hesitated for a moment, then knocked gently.

“Enter.”

He Yan pushed the door open. Feinu was standing to one side, and Xiao Jue was holding a letter, which he put down after He Yan entered. The door closed behind her, and He Yan walked over, saying, “Governor.”

He looked at He Yan, seeing her worried expression, and asked, “What’s the matter?”

“…Governor, do you already know about Rundou?”

Xiao Jue raised his eyebrows: “Your information network is quite good.”

“I happened to overhear Instructor Shen talking to someone.” He Yan stepped forward, “Governor, will Rundou fall to the Wutuo people?”

Xiao Jue pulled at the corner of his mouth: “No, He Rufei is in Huayuan. The distance between Huayuan and Rundou is only three or four days.”

He seemed very reassured.

He Yan bit her lip, “Then, what if General Feihe refuses to support Rundou? Or what if something delays him on the way?”

At these words, Xiao Jue looked up at her. His expression was calm, but his gaze was sharp as if trying to see through her. He only said, “You think so?”

He Yan knew he had become suspicious, but the lives of tens of thousands in Rundou couldn’t be sacrificed in vain. She covered up, saying, “I’ve never met General Feihe. Although people say he’s formidable, maybe it’s just talk. He led one hundred and fifty thousand Fuyu troops, and in the recent battle against the Wutuo people, he still lost several thousand, winning with such difficulty. Not nearly as impressive as you and I were in Jiyang City. Maybe he’s quite incompetent… just a coward who, upon hearing about Rundou’s situation, backs out and refuses to provide support, hiding like a turtle!”

She was cursing He Rufei, so He Yan felt no burden, but Feinu on the side couldn’t help but twitch his face, saying, “That’s impossible. During the previous Xi Qiang rebellion, General Feihe also provided support everywhere. He even garrisoned Rundou before and is old friends with the city commander. As long as Rundou asks for help, General Feihe absolutely wouldn’t ignore people dying.”

He Yan thought to herself, it was precise because Li Kuang was her old acquaintance that Rundou faced such dire straits!

However, she couldn’t tell others this. He Yan felt both anxious and angry, realizing that the good reputation built over many years had spread too far – now even when trying to discredit it, no one would believe her.

Xiao Jue looked at her thoughtfully, “What do you plan to do?”

Was he asking for her opinion? He Yan carefully chose her words, “Governor, we’ve been training at Liangzhou Guard for over a year now. Together with the Southern Garrison troops, we have quite a force. Not to mention the Southern Garrison, but the recruits of the Liangzhou Guard have been eager to experience a real battlefield. Why not use this opportunity to train them? How about we go support Rundou?”

She stared at Xiao Jue hopefully, though she knew the chances were extremely slim.

Sure enough, upon hearing this, Xiao Jue sneered: “It takes over a month on foot from Liangzhou Guard to Rundou, but only three to four days from Huayuan. Instead of seeking support from Huayuan, sending troops from the Liangzhou Guard to trek across mountains and rivers – He Yan, have you lost your mind?”

He Yan knew any normal person would think this way. Choosing the farther option over the closer one – even Li Kuang wouldn’t dare think of it. But she had to try for the sake of Rundou’s citizens. He Yan persisted, “Governor, please reconsider. Rundou may be a small city, but why do both the Xi Qiang and Wutuo people want this place? Once Rundou falls, neighboring Jinling will be in danger. Moving northward, the Wutuo people are aiming for the imperial capital.”

“Rundou must not fall!”

The youth’s tone was stubborn. Feinu couldn’t help saying, “Young Master He, we all know Rundou can’t fall. But even if Master wanted to go to Rundou now, we’d need the Emperor’s permission. Going back and forth would take two months – by then, the battle at Rundou would likely be over. Besides, the possibility of General Feihe not providing support is too small. You don’t need to worry.”

In their eyes, He Yan’s concerns seemed like needless anxiety.

Xiao Jue said: “The Southern Garrison has its place. Drop this idea, and don’t mention it again.”

A flat rejection.

He Yan sighed inwardly. Feinu’s words made sense. Minister Xu was watching closely in court, and Xiao Jue had come to Liangzhou Guard precisely to avoid his edge and bide his time. Taking rash action now would invite criticism. This matter indeed couldn’t involve Xiao Jue, but what about Rundou’s people?

She responded dejectedly: “I understand.” She bid farewell to Xiao Jue and returned to her room.

After He Yan left, Xiao Jue watched the dancing candlelight in the oil lamp and said, “He Yan is acting strange.”

Feinu asked, “Master, do you suspect her?”

Xiao Jue shook his head, then after a moment said, “Look into any recent changes in Rundou.”

After returning from Xiao Jue’s room, He Yan washed up with a heavy heart and lay on her bed. The lamp had been extinguished, and moonlight streamed through the window, falling on the ground like a layer of frost, making the summer night feel somewhat desolate.

The last time she went to Rundou was several years ago. She wasn’t General Feihe then, but a vice general, going with the Fuyu Army to resist the Xi Qiang people in Rundou. Rundou was a small city, and the Xi Qiang killed people outside its walls, hanging heads on flagpoles to show their might.

The Fuyu soldiers who went with her were filled with hatred. Even though they were outnumbered, they still defeated the Xi Qiang people in a fierce battle. The wound on her shoulder was from that time. She couldn’t remove the arrow during the battle, and when she finally pulled it out afterward, she nearly fainted.

The next day, Li Kuang’s concubine came with a large basket of glistening grapes, smiling at her: “Rundou doesn’t have many good things, but these are the best grapes. Please enjoy them, Vice General He.” Behind her, Rundou’s citizens came flooding in, some carrying chickens, others holding eggs, all coming to express their gratitude.

She was promoted not long after that battle.

He Yan had deep feelings for every place where she had fought and bled. She knew clearly that He Rufei wouldn’t go to support Rundou, and Li Kuang guarding Rundou City was just waiting for death. Without support, the city’s people would ultimately die by Wutuo blades.

She couldn’t let this happen. If the Southern Garrison and Liangzhou Guard’s recruits couldn’t move, even if she had to go alone, she would go to Rundou. With their backs against the wall, Rundou’s forces might still have a glimmer of hope.

But how could she get to Rundou? If she fled privately now… if caught later, it would be desertion, a capital offense under military law. He Rufei’s true face hadn’t been exposed yet – if she died now, everything would be lost. This would be acceptable if her death could save tens of thousands of lives. But she was in the Southern Garrison – if someone used this to threaten Xiao Jue, claiming it was his order, how would that affect him?

Yet she couldn’t just watch tens of thousands in Rundou City wait for death.

While contemplating this dilemma, her fingers touched something cold under her pillow. She instinctively looked at it in the moonlight and found it was an exquisite seal. It was inscribed with small characters reading “Wu’an.”

The Wu’an Lang seal had been given to her along with the official robes when the imperial edict reached Liangzhou. Since this position held no real power, He Yan hadn’t paid it much attention and had simply tucked it under her pillow. But seeing it now suddenly sparked an idea, and she sat up, clutching the seal in her palm.

Yes – she wasn’t just a Southern Garrison soldier now; more precisely, she was also the Emperor’s appointed Wu’an Lang. Chu Zhao was right – though she was under Xiao Jue’s command, she wasn’t solely his soldier. If she went to Rundou now, with the seal she could claim it was her own decision, that Xiao Jue knew nothing of it. Even if investigated later, it wouldn’t implicate Xiao Jue.

As for herself…

In some ways, Rundou’s current situation was partly her responsibility. She had led the Fuyu Army to defend Rundou once before; she could defend it a second time.

She had to go to Rundou herself.

Once she made this decision at night, by the next day, He Yan was no longer as conflicted as before. Since returning to Liangzhou Guard, she hadn’t missed a single day of training, so her skills weren’t a concern. Using archery and horsemanship training as an excuse, she examined the best horses in the stable several times, memorizing her preferred one to take when leaving.

She packed the remaining daggers, whips, and medicines from her room. Everything else could wait, but most importantly, though she had been to Rundou before, she had never traveled there from Liangzhou Guard. The journey was long, and she couldn’t afford wrong turns. Every day counted for Rundou – a wrong turn would waste not just time but lives.

Fortunately, there were people in the camp who knew the way.

He Yan pretended to be extremely interested in Rundou, spending all her time outside of training to talk to people who had been there. She asked about the route from Liangzhou Guard to Rundou, and where one might take wrong turns. Huang Xiong had been there too, but he didn’t know the way well, so she had to look elsewhere.

Xiaomai asked, “Brother He, do you want to go to Rundou to eat grapes? Why are you suddenly so interested in Rundou?”

Stone watched He Yan’s enthusiastic conversations with people and lowered his head thoughtfully.

In two days, she had compiled a complete map from Liangzhou Guard to Rundou. He Yan spread the map on the table – following the shortcuts shown if she traveled without rest, she might reach Rundou in less than a month. But… could Li Kuang hold out for a month?

Thinking too much wouldn’t help; the urgent matter was to leave now. He Yan shouldered her pack and, before leaving, looked at two items in the bottom drawer. Both were brought from Jiyang – one was the dough figurine Xiao Jue had bought her during the Water God Festival, now shriveled and carefully wrapped in a handkerchief. The other was the wooden carving Wood Yi had given her, showing a female general standing with a whip, looking magnificent.

He Yan looked at them and smiled, shaking her head before putting them back in the drawer. She couldn’t take these with her – left here, they would probably be discarded like everything else in the room.

Everything was packed, but at the door, He Yan turned back to look at the middle gate one last time. It was tightly closed, and the night was deep – Xiao Jue had long since gone to bed. Leaving silently now for Rundou’s dangerous battlefield, she couldn’t be sure if she would live to see Xiao Jue again, and even if she did survive, she didn’t know what circumstances they would meet under.

“Goodbye,” she said silently in her heart, turning to gently push open the door before her.

Outside, the night was deep and dark, a vast expanse of ink-black. The moon was hidden behind clouds, with only a few scattered stars illuminating the distant mountains and forests. He Yan paused for a moment, suddenly reminded of many years ago when she first packed her bags and left the He family. Then, as now, she didn’t know what lay ahead, didn’t know if joy or sorrow awaited, but still strode forward.

But now was different from years ago – she was no longer confused or lost, knowing her direction and certain of every decision she made.

And so, she walked forward without regret.

Yan Yan: Off to pursue my career, watch me shine on my own [struggle]