Early the next morning, Zhou Wan accompanied her grandmother to the hospital for a full checkup.

She sat alone on a chair in the corridor, lost in thought for a while when suddenly she remembered something.

She calculated the bank interest rate on the medical expenses that Lu Xixiao had advanced for her last time, rounded up the odd amounts, transferred it all to Lu Xixiao, and thanked him again.

Lu Xixiao didn’t reply immediately – it was only eight-thirty in the morning, and he was probably still sleeping.

Zhou Wan put away her phone, leaned her head back against the wall, and emptied her mind.

After some time, her grandmother came out from the examination.

“Let’s go, Wan-wan.”

Zhou Wan stood up and asked Dr. Chen when the examination report would be ready.

“Next week. I’ll call you then,” Dr. Chen said.

“Okay.” Zhou Wan thanked Dr. Chen and supported her grandmother as they left the hospital.

Her grandmother noticed she was still carrying her schoolbag and asked, “What are you going to do now?”

“Going to the library. I arranged to meet my classmate to work on the new physics test papers we got. They’re quite difficult.”

“Alright,” Grandmother smiled. “You go ahead then, I can get back by myself.”

Zhou Wan was worried and didn’t want to let her grandmother return alone, but after her repeated insistence, Zhou Wan had to agree. After watching her reach the bus stop across the street, she turned and walked toward the library.

Zhou Wan didn’t see that after she left, her grandmother went back to the hospital.

*

“Old madam, why did you come back?” Dr. Chen asked in surprise when he saw her. “Did you forget something?”

“No, Dr. Chen, I just wanted to ask you something,” Grandmother said. “These examinations Wan-wan asked me to do, are they for some kind of surgery later?”

Dr. Chen was taken aback – Zhou Wan had asked him not to tell her grandmother about this.

After hesitating for a moment, he sighed: “How did you know?”

“Wan-wan’s mother called me early this morning and told me.”

Dr. Chen frowned, having no good impression of Zhou Wan’s mother: “What did she say to you?”

Grandmother showed a helpless expression and let out a “hai”: “What else could she say? She thought I asked Wan-wan to go ask her for money, and said a bunch of unpleasant things.”

“Don’t mind her. Your health is what’s important.”

“I know.” Grandmother smiled slightly. “I came to ask you for a favor. No matter what the results are, please tell Wan-wan that my condition isn’t suitable for surgery.”

Dr. Chen paused.

“I understand that doctors can’t lie to patients, but this is my body, and I get to decide whether to have surgery or not,” Grandmother said. “Wan-wan is still young, not even an adult yet. Such a large sum of money – I’m afraid she’ll give up everything just to raise these funds. She’s still young with a long future ahead. She can’t keep spending everything on an old woman like me.”

As she spoke, her eyes reddened and her voice trembled. She gripped Dr. Chen’s hand tightly: “So please, Dr. Chen, I beg you. Just tell Wan-wan that surgery isn’t possible. As long as she can grow up well, I’ll be content.”

Her Wan-wan was a child born into hardship.

Her father passed away early, she was abandoned by her mother, and the only person she could rely on – her grandmother – was bedridden with illness.

Wan-wan had grown up working so hard, achieving excellent grades, and striving to earn money.

She didn’t want to become a stumbling block in her path.

*

Zhou Wan bought a roasted sweet potato for lunch. After arriving at the library, she found Jiang Yan on the second floor.

She sat down across from him, took out her test papers, and immediately settled down to work.

“Zhou Wan,” Jiang Yan called her.

She looked up, lowering her voice: “What is it?”

“Do you like Lu Xixiao?”

He was still concerned about Zhou Wan leaving with Lu Xixiao after school last Friday.

Zhou Wan was startled, pressed her lips together, and didn’t speak.

Jiang Yan: “Have you thought about the future, Zhou Wan? After the college entrance exam, which university will you go to? What about him? He can barely get into any university!”

His hatred for Lu Xixiao was evident, and his voice unconsciously grew louder, particularly conspicuous in the quiet library.

“Keep your voice down.” After Zhou Wan said this, she paused for a moment before speaking again, “Jiang Yan, what do you think my future looks like?”

“Getting into a prestigious university, graduating smoothly, finding a good job.”

Zhou Wan lowered her eyes and smiled faintly: “You think too highly of me. I’ve never even dared to think about the things you mentioned. I’m different from you, Jiang Yan. None of these things come easily to me.”

“You’re different from me, so you’re the same as Lu Xixiao?”

Zhou Wan still shook her head: “Actually, I quite envy him. He can live so purely and openly – when he likes something, he likes it; when he hates something, he hates it. No pretense at all.”

Jiang Yan wanted to say more, but Zhou Wan cut him off: “Let’s do the problems.”

She lowered her head and said softly: “Perhaps only if I get a good ranking in the national competition will I have the right to talk about the future.”

…

This set of test papers was particularly difficult. By the time they finished, it was already five in the evening – time to go to the game arcade.

Zhou Wan packed up her things and left the library. When she took out her phone, she discovered that Lu Xixiao had replied to her message several hours ago.

[6: ?]

Just a question mark.

[Zhou Wan: The medical expenses.]

[6: Wasn’t it supposed to be at the end of the year?]

Zhou Wan lowered her eyes and replied: [My mom gave me the money]

Lu Xixiao didn’t reply further, just confirmed the transfer.

*

The bar was bustling with noise, dry ice machines made the entire stage misty, mixed with heavy smoke and alcohol smell, laser lights, and drum beats pulsing with the music.

Lu Xixiao sat in the inner part of the booth, his long, bony fingers holding a wine glass. His face wore a lazy smile, his gaze drifting lightly over the diverse crowd passing by.

“Xiao-ge, tomorrow’s your birthday, right?” one of the girls asked, her eyes bright as she looked directly at Lu Xixiao across from her.

Lu Xixiao looked up, raising his eyebrows.

“What date is it tomorrow?”

“The 18th.”

Jiang Fan said: “It is A-Xiao’s birthday. How are you planning to celebrate this year?”

He let out a light snort: “What’s there to celebrate?”

“That won’t do. Our Xiao-ge’s turning 18 – we’ve got to celebrate properly.”

Lu Xixiao cursed with a laugh and kicked at him.

Another boy nearby said: “Turning 18 means becoming an adult, so of course we’ve got to do some adult things, right, Xiao-ge?” He gave Lu Xixiao a suggestive wink.

This comment reminded everyone of another matter.

Soon someone brought up the post from yesterday on the school’s forum.

They had long noticed something unusual between Lu Xixiao and Zhou Wan and would tease them about it, but mostly just in jest – after all, these two didn’t seem like they were dating.

All of Lu Xixiao’s previous girlfriends had clung to him tightly, afraid that if they took their eyes off him for a moment, some little vixen would snatch him away.

Places like this bar – they would never not come along.

But Zhou Wan – the few times they’d seen her, it was always Lu Xixiao actively seeking her out.

Yesterday after school was even more extreme.

No one had ever seen Lu Xixiao specifically wait for someone.

“Xiao-ge, how far have you gotten with that little scholar?” someone asked. “Kissed yet?”

Lu Xixiao took a drink, his sharp Adam’s apple moving.

“The way you’re talking, you’re underestimating our Xiao-ge…”

Seeing the teasing heading in an inappropriate direction, Lu Xixiao leaned forward slightly, his wine glass hitting the table with measured force, “That’s enough. I’m single.”

“Single?” the boy asked in surprise. “You broke up?”

“Never dated her.”

Now everyone was even more surprised.

Lu Xixiao had no patience even with girlfriends, let alone other girls.

How had Zhou Wan become the exception?

Jiang Fan narrowed his eyes.

He had known Lu Xixiao the longest and knew more of the inside story, including the time Zhou Wan went to Lu Xixiao’s house.

He knew more clearly that Zhou Wan was indeed special to Lu Xixiao.

Someone asked a very key question: “Is it that you haven’t dated yet, or that you don’t plan to date?”

Lu Xixiao grabbed the cigarette box, pushed it open with his index finger, took out a cigarette, and held it between his teeth, leaning back into the sofa: “Since when does everything have to end in dating?”

Dating or not dating – it was all the same.

Nothing could be changed.

Lu Xixiao found the current situation quite comfortable, so he let it continue as it was.

But to those listening intently, it sounded like an indirect rejection.

The pretty girl sitting next to Lu Xixiao’s dejected expression recovered slightly.

The boys teased a bit more before moving on to other topics.

The girl gazed at Lu Xixiao’s profile, watching him smoke, her heart trembling. After a while, she couldn’t help but lean closer: “Xiao-ge.”

Seeing his cigarette wasn’t lit, she took the initiative to cup her hand against the wind and press down the lighter.

Lu Xixiao went along naturally, leaning in slightly, lighting the cigarette from her flame, and exhaling a breath of smoke.

The girl’s heart kept pounding uncontrollably.

“What are you doing for your birthday tomorrow?”

“Sleeping.”

“Alone?”

When Lu Xixiao’s gaze swept over, the girl realized how ambiguous her words had been – she meant to ask if he was spending his birthday alone, not if he was sleeping alone.

His facial features were striking, his eyes playful, appearing even more amorous under the scattered, dancing lights.

He flicked his cigarette ash: “What else?”

The girl’s face turned bright red.

After quite a while, when the flush finally faded, she gathered her courage and leaned close to Lu Xixiao’s ear amid the noisy music.

“I was planning to wish you happy birthday tomorrow, but seems that won’t work now,” the girl said with a smile. “So I’ll sing you a song tonight, wishing you an early happy birthday.”

It wasn’t late night yet, the band hadn’t arrived, and the microphone on the bar’s stage was empty.

The girl went up on stage.

With waist-length hair and delicate makeup, her eye makeup shimmering under the lights, she had barely said “Hello everyone” when the crowd below turned to look, letting out collective whistles.

Lu Xixiao’s gaze drifted over indifferently.

The girl gripped the microphone tightly, looking through the crowd to meet Lu Xixiao’s eyes.

She thought this might be the bravest moment of her life.

“Hello everyone, tomorrow is someone’s birthday,” she looked steadily at Lu Xixiao. “I want to sing ‘Can’t Say It’ for him, wishing him a happy birthday.”

The crowd below erupted in cheers and whoops.

During the girl’s innocent yet earnest singing, many people followed her gaze toward Lu Xixiao.

He sat there composed, his emotions unreadable.

By the end, the girl’s voice carried the distinctive bitterness of unrequited love.

After finishing, she came down from the stage, walked back to the booth, and lifted her glass: “Lu Xixiao, let me say it early – happy birthday.”

The boys around started to make noise, about to applaud, but were stopped by Lu Xixiao’s look.

The booth area fell quiet.

Lu Xixiao didn’t slight her, picked up his glass to clink with hers, and drained it in one go: “Thanks.”

He put the empty glass back on the table, then stood up, lighting a cigarette as he walked out, “Going out for a bit.”

The girl froze, her eyes quickly reddening: “…Lu Xixiao.”

She gathered her last bit of courage to call out to him.

Lu Xixiao turned back.

“I-“

I like you.

Before she could finish the last three words, Lu Xixiao interrupted: “Sorry.”

The girl couldn’t even tell if this was Lu Xixiao’s final courtesy or final cruelty.

She never got to tell him her feelings directly.

His face showed no expression, cold and distant under the strange, shifting lights, silently pulling the distance between them infinitely far.

Lu Xixiao didn’t look at her again, just pointed outside with his hand and turned to leave.

The girl watched his retreating figure and thought, he probably would never understand what it means to be passionate – that kind of almost self-losing, blind love.

No matter when, he could probably always stay calm and composed, able to withdraw clear-headed at any time.

Resolute and cold.

*

In the game arcade, Zhou Wan turned off the lights and locked the doors. Just as she walked out, her phone sounded – a message from Lu Xixiao.

It was a location pin for a bar.

[6: Come here.]

Zhou Wan was startled, and looked at the time – it was already 11:05 PM.

[6: Drunk.]

[Zhou Wan: You have a cold, you shouldn’t be drinking.]

[6: Mm.]

Zhou Wan stared at her phone screen, hesitating.

It was so late.

After hesitating for a moment, Zhou Wan still decided to go.

She didn’t know how much Lu Xixiao had drunk, and if he was drunk, leaving him alone there when it was so cold – she worried something might happen.

After all, Zhou Wan was wrong to use him first.

She could only go along with his wishes to make up for it, try to make him happy.

The game arcade was over ten kilometers from the location he sent. To get there faster, Zhou Wan took a taxi.

She rarely came to the city center late at night, and this was her first time seeing Pingchuan City’s bustling, prosperous nightlife, with its bright lights and revelry. She looked out through the car window, the lights casting a crystalline glow on her fair face.

The taxi’s navigation announced 500 meters to the destination.

Zhou Wan could see the bar’s flashing neon sign from far away.

As the car got closer, she saw Lu Xixiao standing outside the bar.

He was leaning lazily against the wall, tall and long-legged, standing amid the bright lights and revelry, becoming a sight to behold.

Zhou Wan pressed her lips together.

“Young lady, we’re here,” the driver stopped the car next to the bar.

“Thank you, driver.” Zhou Wan lowered her head to get money from her wallet.

Just as she pulled out a 50 yuan note, the car door beside her opened.

Lu Xixiao rested one hand on the car roof, bending slightly, leaning close, his voice tinged with alcohol, even more, magnetic and hoarse than usual, with a nasal quality: “Driver, how much?”

“25.”

Zhou Wan hurriedly said: “I can pay myself.”

Lu Xixiao ignored her, blocking her hand with his own, took the cigarette between his teeth, and scanned the payment code: “Done.”

As the taxi drove away, Zhou Wan stood at Lu Xixiao’s side as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to the inside. He exhaled a breath of smoke and looked at her: “Hungry?”

“Not really.”

“Let’s get something to eat anyway.”

He walked ahead, leading her to a coffee shop next door, and ordered a chicken wrap.

Zhou Wan asked: “Aren’t you eating?”

“Not hungry.”

The coffee shop’s heating was turned up too high, making it hard to breathe, so they went back outside after buying the chicken wrap.

Zhou Wan tore open the wrapper, and took a bite – the chicken was tender, wrapped with lettuce, the juices flowing out, very tasty.

She looked at Lu Xixiao smoking beside her, observed for a moment, and then said: “Are you drunk?”

His gaze swept over sideways, casually: “Yeah.”

But he didn’t look drunk at all.

His face wasn’t red, his eyes were clear.

“Were you drinking alone?”

“Jiang Fan and the others are all there,” Lu Xixiao said. “Still inside.”

“Then why did you come out first?”

He crooked his finger, tapped off some ash, speaking lazily: “Someone inside was trying to hit on me.”

Zhou Wan froze.

His words were too abrupt and too direct.

Zhou Wan didn’t know how to react.

Lu Xixiao’s words were a bit strange, and since he was looking at her while saying them, it seemed somewhat deliberate, like… he was seeking approval.

As soon as this thought crossed Zhou Wan’s mind, she shook her head, thinking she must be too tired to think clearly.

She had only eaten half the chicken wrap and couldn’t finish the rest, so Zhou Wan went back into the coffee shop to get a bag to pack up the remainder.

Tomorrow was Sunday, no classes, so Zhou Wan suppressed a yawn and asked: “Are you heading back?”

Lu Xixiao: “Walk with me for a while.”

“Where to?”

“Anywhere.”

Zhou Wan walked beside him, accompanying him as he wandered through the bright streets.

The surroundings were very quiet, passing pedestrians chatting and laughing. But the two of them were silent.

For the first time, Zhou Wan felt such an intense loneliness from him.

Even stronger than when he was alone and dejected at home on his mother’s death anniversary.

Everything around them was so lively.

But he seemed out of place.

Like cicadas making the forest seem more quiet, or bird songs making the mountain more secluded.

“Lu Xixiao.”

He turned back.

“Let me take you somewhere fun,” Zhou Wan said.

Zhou Wan thought, at least during this time, she should try to make him happy.