That night, Zhou Wan didn’t know when it ended, only vaguely remembering that when Lu Xixiao carried her out of the bathroom after washing up, dawn was already breaking.

She nestled in Lu Xixiao’s embrace.

In her daze, she thought about how in all their years of knowing each other, they rarely had moments like this.

She was quiet by nature, Lu Xixiao was cold by nature. When together, they never had explosive moments. Their relationship wasn’t romantic – it began with a casual “Zhou Wan, want to date?” and ended with a calm “Let’s break up, brother.”

They started and ended their relationship in the most peaceful state, like two sparklers on a winter day, making no sound, only emitting a faint glow.

They rarely interacted in such an intense way.

As if trying to merge into each other’s bodies.

…

Lu Xixiao had always been a light sleeper.

Zhou Wan was exhausted to the point of passing out, but he still couldn’t sleep.

Dawn was approaching, dark and dim, with a few faint stars and a transparent crescent moon on the horizon.

Lu Xixiao got up, walked to the window, and lit a cigarette.

Over these years, it wasn’t that he hadn’t tried to forget Zhou Wan. He’d attempted to continue playing the field like before, but Zhou Wan had soaked into his heart like a torrential rain, making it impossible to tolerate anyone else’s presence.

For a long time, he even believed he no longer loved Zhou Wan, thinking he couldn’t forget her only because he hated her.

Until Zhou Wan appeared before him again.

Only then did he realize he had never stopped loving her for a moment?

Lu Xixiao had once asked himself why Zhou Wan was different from others.

He’d never lacked beautiful girls around him, nor those willing to be good to him.

But Zhou Wan had a unique resilience about her.

She was pure but not naive, dark yet genuine, each facet of her distinct and sharp, like a weak but enduring flame illuminating his pupils.

He knew her bad sides, her extremes, her timidity.

But he also understood her goodness, her sincerity, her solitary courage.

Before leaving, she hadn’t said anything but had done everything.

She’d arranged the garden, and bought many hardy, long-blooming flowers, hoping these blossoms would accompany him through his lonely future.

After that rainy season ended, those flowers all came back to life, blooming year after year.

She had taken him to “City’s Eye” in Pingchuan City, teaching him how to overcome his fear of heights.

She was the one who said, don’t look down, look ahead, there are mountains ahead, clouds above, look into the distance, there’s wind.

She was the one who said, Lu Xixiao, in the days ahead, you should look forward, and walk toward higher places.

Very early on, she had already bid him farewell in the gentlest, most determined way.

And it was these things that helped Lu Xixiao endure so many years in a foreign land.

Look forward, walk higher.

Zhou Wan had imperceptibly merged into his body, becoming part of him, connected by bone and blood, inseparable.

…

The cigarette ash had grown long; Lu Xixiao curved his index finger and tapped lightly, scattering the ash in the wind.

He looked at Zhou Wan on the bed.

After a while, he smiled helplessly, lowering his eyes.

Forget it, he accepted it.

If being a lap dog meant being a lap dog, so be it.

After being entangled for so many years, he admitted defeat.

*

When Zhou Wan woke up, she felt like her entire body was falling apart, hurting with every movement.

She opened her eyes, staring blankly at the ceiling for a long time.

Her relationship with Lu Xixiao was getting messier and messier.

But if she had to give herself to someone, she only wanted it to be Lu Xixiao.

As for the future…

Zhou Wan closed her eyes briefly, her nerves and body aching.

Lu Xixiao wasn’t in the room, probably at the company. Zhou Wan lay there a while longer, then sighed softly, slowly sitting up.

Last night Lu Xixiao had carried her to shower after they finished, but after sleeping she felt sticky all over again. Zhou Wan supported herself against the wall of the bathroom, turned on the shower, and let warm water fall on her skin marked with red traces. All her pores opened up, her aching muscles relaxing.

Images from last night floated through her mind.

She didn’t know how long, how many times.

No matter how she cried or begged, it was useless. Lu Xixiao vented all his years of resentment and hate on her body. He had never been a gentle person, but this was probably his most ungentle time with Zhou Wan.

Zhou Wan couldn’t care about shame anymore. At the peak of breakdown, she bit his shoulder, then acted obediently, following his wishes by calling him “brother” repeatedly, hoping to make him gentler and slower, but it only led to more forceful and frenzied treatment.

He wanted to see her tears, wanted to hear her beg, wanted to see her lose control and break down because of him.

Her forced indifference and coldness were all broken by him, transformed into another kind of burning intensity.

The lights were dim, the room filled with passion.

Inside, surging undercurrents, intertwined with soft moans and sobs.

In Zhou Wan’s memory, his only moment of gentleness last night was after they finished, both sweaty and pressed together, as he covered her, pecking kisses by her ear, asking softly: “Zhou Wan, do you admit your mistake?”

Zhou Wan was still trembling, her throat too sore to speak, too exhausted to talk.

Compared to Zhou Wan’s dishevelment, Lu Xixiao appeared more like a clear moon after rain.

The hormone-laden sweat on his body didn’t make him appear too lustful. Clean moonlight fell on him, stripping away all pretense, and outlining his most primitive and authentic self.

He lowered his neck, lightly brushed her nose tip, let out a soft breath, and said quietly: “Never mind, anyway, I’m caught up with you for this lifetime.”

…

After showering, Zhou Wan came out and immediately ran into Lu Xixiao as she opened the door.

She quickly stepped back, looked up, stunned: “You didn’t go to work?”

“No.” He was concise, smelling strongly of cigarettes, his gaze falling back on Zhou Wan, “Still hurting?”

Zhou Wan’s face heated up, and she lowered her head: “It’s fine.”

Lu Xixiao snorted lightly at her useless attempt to act tough.

“I ordered food, come out and eat something.” Lu Xixiao dropped these words.

He turned to walk outside, at the door catching sight of Zhou Wan slightly furrowing her brows, slowly inching toward the door.

Lu Xixiao frowned, quickly returned to her side, bent down to pick her up, and gently placed her on the bed, his hand gripping her slender ankle and moving up.

Zhou Wan was startled by his movement: “Lu Xixiao.”

“Very painful?” He seemed not to have expected Zhou Wan to be so uncomfortable, moving to pull at her pants.

Without alcohol’s influence and the dim atmosphere, in broad daylight, Zhou Wan was truly embarrassed. She struggled with her legs: “Lu Xixiao, what are you doing?”

“Let me look.”

“No.” Her cheeks were completely red, “I’m not hurting.”

Lu Xixiao paused his movements. He crouched at the foot of the bed, looking up at her slightly, and after a while, he smiled, tugging at the corner of his mouth: “Which part of your body haven’t I seen?”

“…”

Lu Xixiao gripped her chin, pressing down slightly: “Slept with me and want to pretend it didn’t happen?”

“…”

“Zhou Wan.” His voice was low, eyes fixed intently on hers, “Are you planning to sleep with me once and then just walk away?”

Zhou Wan glanced at him once, saying nothing.

She didn’t know what to do.

Since meeting her, Lu Xixiao had encountered too many unfortunate things. She had been unlucky since childhood, and she would bring her bad luck to Lu Xixiao.

She didn’t want that.

She also had nothing to give Lu Xixiao. She had nothing, except this body he was obsessed with.

She thought, at least she could give him the only precious thing she had.

Whether for redemption or closure, Zhou Wan herself couldn’t tell clearly.

Lu Xixiao stared at her for a while, stood up, and said flatly: “After eating, come with me somewhere.”

“Where?”

“Pingchuan City.”

Zhou Wan’s heart skipped a beat: “Why go there?”

“Some things to handle.”

…

The flight from B City to Pingchuan City took four hours.

Zhou Wan had woken up in the afternoon today, and they bought tickets for the evening flight. Since they would stay overnight, Zhou Wan simply packed clothes for both of them in one suitcase.

On the plane, Zhou Wan started feeling drowsy again.

Last night had worn her out, and her body was still uncomfortable. As the plane waited to take off, she fell asleep again, and Lu Xixiao asked the flight attendant for a blanket to cover her.

After a while, the plane finally began rapidly moving forward.

The weightless feeling during the ascent made Zhou Wan vaguely wake up. Her eyes weren’t fully open yet, but she instinctively grabbed Lu Xixiao’s wrist, her fingertips lightly stroking the inside of his wrist.

Lu Xixiao turned his head.

The young woman wore a beige down jacket, her hair in a ponytail, looking clean and fresh. A few loose strands of hair curled around her fair neck. Her eyelashes trembled lightly as she gradually woke up, her cheek unconsciously nuzzling against his shoulder.

“Lu Xixiao,” she called out with a hint of urgency.

“Mm?”

“Don’t be afraid.”

Lu Xixiao paused, then curved his lips: “It’s fine.”

Zhou Wan looked into his eyes.

Outside was darkness, below were the brightly lit cities. The plane’s lighting was dim, with only a few small lights emitting a gentle, warm glow.

She didn’t see any fear in Lu Xixiao’s eyes.

Had he overcome his fear of heights?

Of course.

Brother Huang Ping had said he went abroad for university.

Flying back and forth on flights lasting over ten hours, naturally, he would have overcome it.

Zhou Wan realized this point once again – they had truly been apart for too long.

So long that even memories were starting to be wrong.

But even knowing he was no longer afraid of heights, those subconscious behaviors didn’t change so quickly. Later, Zhou Wan fell asleep again, but whenever the plane encountered turbulence, she would unconsciously grip his hand tightly.

Just like that year on the school rooftop.

Just like that year at Pingchuan City’s “City’s Eye.”

And Lu Xixiao, for the first time in all these years, fell asleep on the plane.

He could indeed maintain a calm expression while flying, even on long-haul flights lasting over ten hours without showing those extreme reactions anymore.

But being thousands of miles up in the sky, he still couldn’t relax as if on solid ground. Every time the plane hit turbulence, he would feel extremely uncomfortable, his muscles tensing until they ached.

Yet now Zhou Wan sat beside him, holding his hand just like before.

Lu Xixiao had never felt as at ease as he did at this moment.

…

Pingchuan City’s winter wasn’t as cold as B City’s.

Though it had seemed cold before, after getting used to life in B City, returning here didn’t feel unbearable at all.

Lu Xixiao held Zhou Wan’s hand as they left the airport and got a taxi.

When he gave that all-too-familiar address, Zhou Wan had a moment of daze.

She watched the scenery flying past outside the window. Pingchuan City had changed greatly over these years – many new high-rises had appeared in the west of the city, their lights glittering at night, and even taxi fares had doubled.

But fortunately, that old district in the east had barely changed.

Cherry blossom trees still lined both sides of the road, though now bare branches in winter.

Zhou Wan didn’t know why, but she felt relieved.

The taxi stopped in front of those familiar iron gates.

When Zhou Wan got out, memories flooded her mind overwhelmingly.

The iron gates opened as if opening the gates to her memories.

She hadn’t forgotten anything after all.

She saw the flowers in the garden. It was winter now, with only a few camellia plants in full bloom, but other plants were also well-maintained, growing neat and healthy.

“Did these flowers all come back to life later?” Zhou Wan asked.

“Mm.”

Zhou Wan walked to the camellias and bent down to smell them, her profile gentle and quiet, the corner of her mouth lifting slightly.

“I rarely came back here afterward, but occasionally had someone come maintain it. It’s still decent.”

Zhou Wan smiled and said, “When spring comes, it should look very beautiful.”

Lu Xixiao carried the suitcase inside, Zhou Wan following.

She used to stay in the guest room, but now after a moment’s hesitation, she followed Lu Xixiao into the master bedroom.

Lu Xixiao opened the suitcase, taking out the clothes and pajamas she’d brought and setting them aside: “Want to shower first?”

“Okay.”

When Zhou Wan came out after her shower, the air conditioning had made the room very warm, not cold at all. Lu Xixiao took his clothes and went into the bathroom. She sat on the edge of the bed, suddenly remembering something, picked up the pillow, and unzipped it.

She had once put inside the sachet her grandmother had gotten for her, hoping it would bless Lu Xixiao with safety and sweet dreams every night.

But now it was gone.

Zhou Wan frowned slightly.

Had the pillow been replaced?

Just then, Lu Xixiao came out and saw her holding the pillow: “It’s in the drawer.”

Zhou Wan was startled, opened the drawer, and indeed saw that sachet.

“You found it?”

“Almost threw it away,” Lu Xixiao walked to her side. “My neck was uncomfortable for a while, found it when changing the pillow insert.”

Zhou Wan’s fingers gently stroked the sachet, very carefully.

“This was the last thing your grandmother left you, why give it to me?” Lu Xixiao asked, looking down.

“I wanted it to protect you.”

“What about yourself?”

Zhou Wan’s fingertips paused slightly, looking up at him with a faint smile: “My grandmother will protect me from heaven anyway.”

As she smiled, a drop of water fell from Lu Xixiao’s hair onto her eyelid, followed by a twitch of his brow as electricity crawled up his spine.

Over these years, her temperament had become more substantial, but her eyes remained the same, unchanged, clean, and clear, her smile like a gentle spring breeze.

Lu Xixiao raised his hand and ruffled her hair: “Sleep, aren’t you tired?”

*

He knew his limits after all and didn’t exhaust her that night, allowing Zhou Wan to get a good rest.

The next day dawned bright and clear.

Zhou Wan changed clothes, drew back the curtains, and stretched in the sunlight.

She hadn’t felt this refreshed in a long time.

Lu Xixiao pushed open the door and asked if she was ready.

“Mm.” Zhou Wan took a hair tie from the sink and put up her hair. “Where are we going?”

She still didn’t know why Lu Xixiao had returned to Pingchuan City.

He still didn’t tell her: “You’ll know when we get there.”

Zhou Wan didn’t ask further.

A car was parked outside, bought during one of Lu Xixiao’s returns home during university years. Whenever he came back to Pingchuan City afterward, he would drive it.

Not having been driven for some time, it was covered in a thin layer of dust.

Zhou Wan sat in the passenger seat.

She thought Lu Xixiao had some work-related matters to handle in his hometown, and had just brought her along because he didn’t want to be bored alone.

She stayed very relaxed throughout the journey, looking at Pingchuan City in daylight, and seeing how the city had changed over the years.

Until the road gradually became familiar.

It wasn’t familiar – Zhou Wan just vaguely felt she had been here before, but couldn’t remember exactly where, until the clock tower landmark appeared and she suddenly realized.

This was the road to the Lu family’s old house.

Old Master Lu had taken her there once before.

Zhou Wan suddenly sat up straight, checking again – it was indeed that road.

“Lu Xixiao.” Her breathing became unsteady. “Where are we going?”

Lu Xixiao knew she already had the answer, no longer concealing it: “The Lu family home.”

“Why are we going there?” Zhou Wan anxiously clenched her fists. “You- you drop me off at the roadside first, I won’t go with you, it’s not appropriate, I can’t go.”

His mischievous streak emerged again: “There’s nothing inappropriate, it’s not like you haven’t been there before.”

Zhou Wan was so anxious she wanted to jump out of the car, but when she pulled the handle, she found Lu Xixiao had already locked the doors.

He was doing this deliberately.

“Lu Xixiao!” She was pushed to her limit.

The man wasn’t wearing his usual suit today, but casual clothes, one hand lazily on the steering wheel, adding a hint of youth, willful and playful.

He ignored Zhou Wan’s anxiety and drove to the Lu family gates.

He stopped the car but wasn’t in a hurry to go in, lighting a cigarette: “Zhou Wan.”

Zhou Wan kept her head down, too timid to look up.

Like an ostrich burying its head in the sand.

Lu Xixiao turned to look at her, his voice deep and calm: “After all these years, Zhou Wan, are you still going to run away?”

Zhou Wan shook her head vigorously: “I can’t, I can’t get past it, Lu Xixiao, I can’t get past that thing.”

Zhou Wan wasn’t an innocent flower in the traditional sense, naive and overly pure. She had her darkness and extremes, but she was also someone who held herself to extremely high moral standards.

Because of this, she particularly despised her actions, was unable to forgive herself, trapped in a vicious cycle.

“If you can’t get past it, then don’t. Zhou Wan, I never needed you to get past it.”

Lu Xixiao’s voice carried a strange gentleness. Though his tone was steady and controlled, it seemed to come from their distant youth. “Remember what I told you long ago?”

“– Love me when I’m dirty; when I’m clean, everyone will love me. There will always be someone who loves both your good and your bad.”

When they met, they were both at their worst.

Zhou Wan was, and so was Lu Xixiao.

During that time, he was living aimlessly, idling away his days, joking around, not studying, smoking and drinking, getting into fights and trouble, and dating one person after another.

But it was precisely because of this that they became irreplaceable parts of each other’s past, leaving indelible marks in each other’s hearts.

They were like two isolated planets.

Different from others, yet connected by something, attracted to each other,

Orbiting along the same path in the endless universe.

“Zhou Wan, there’s been too much pride and stubbornness between us. I wouldn’t give in, you wouldn’t turn back, wasting all these years. During these years, I’ve met many girls – brilliant ones, gentle ones, kind ones, ambitious ones – but none of them were like you, and no one could replace you.”

Lu Xixiao spoke these words while smoking.

Using the most casual gestures to speak the most serious words.

He exhaled a breath of smoke, his features blurred in the blue-white haze: “I surrender.”

Zhou Wan’s heart skipped a beat.

“Zhou Wan.”

His voice was very deep, and if you listened carefully, there was a tremor in the final sound.

Like a traveler who had journeyed alone, crossing mountains and valleys, weathering storms, finally seeing the way home.

He looked at Zhou Wan, his gaze gentle, without deliberate deep emotion, yet containing indescribable distances traveled.

His voice was also gentle as he said:

“Let me court you properly one more time.”