That night, Consort Ning didn’t leave the side chamber of the Hall of Mental Cultivation until midnight.

Though the weather had turned warm, she still wore a padded cotton jacket. Her face was pale, her steps unsteady, and she had to lean on Heyu’s arm to manage the stairs.

Yang Wan lifted her skirts and hurried up the steps to meet them. “Are you all right, Your Grace?”

Consort Ning released Heyu and gently took Yang Wan’s hand. “Sister is fine… Wan’er, I must truly thank you for today’s matter.”

Yang Wan quickly took over from Heyu in supporting Consort Ning, accompanying her slowly down the terrace.

“I wouldn’t dare accept thanks. I’m just glad Your Grace is safe.”

Consort Ning tried to speak but suddenly began coughing. Yang Wan stopped walking and rubbed her back to help ease her breathing.

“Your Grace, shall I call for a sedan chair?”

Consort Ning waved her hand.

“No need.”

After standing quietly at the bottom of the terrace to catch her breath, she looked at Yang Wan and asked, “Wan’er, don’t you have questions for Sister?”

Yang Wan shook her head, “For Your Grace’s and Lord Zheng’s sake, I’d rather not ask.”

Hearing this, Consort Ning tilted her head back and let out a long sigh.

The vast palace complex was silent now, with only faint moonlight above them.

Gazing at the crescent moon, Consort Ning spoke softly: “We always hid it so well before. Even when meeting in the Hall of Mental Cultivation, we wouldn’t spare each other a glance. If not for today’s emergency, Sister would never have involved you. Wan’er, I’m sorry.”

“Please don’t say that, Your Grace.”

Consort Ning closed her eyes, fighting back tears, her voice full of melancholy, “What I feel for him… was once love, now it’s compassion. I think he feels the same for me.”

“Compassion…”

“Yes, there can’t be anything else anymore.”

Yang Wan looked down at the small circle of light cast by the lantern and couldn’t help asking, “What kind of person is he?”

Consort Ning shook her head, “It’s hard to say. Compared to before, he seems to have changed somewhat – he’s very stern with palace servants who make mistakes. But in some ways, he hasn’t changed at all. Sometimes when I see him bow to me, I still remember how gentle he was when he visited the Yang household before I entered the palace.”

“Why did he enter palace service?”

Consort Ning was silent for a moment, “I don’t know. Perhaps for pride, perhaps for me. I’ve never dared to ask him.”

Yang Wan didn’t probe further.

Whether in the Ming Dynasty or the twenty-first century, people’s living spaces were always confined.

Trapped in small spaces, imprisoned by human emotions and desires, one could only give love to those nearby. Yet when love grew too deep, neither party could bear it. Thus, it eventually transformed into what Consort Ning called compassion.

In the vast sea of desire and karmic ties, one could only feel pity for those before them.

Yang Wan felt a warmth in her heart and unconsciously tightened her grip on Consort Ning’s arm.

“Did Sister’s words upset you?”

“No, I was just thinking too much.”

Consort Ning looked at Yang Wan’s profile, “Sister is already like this, but you’re much better off than Sister was.”

She gently embraced Yang Wan, “Don’t be sad.”

Yang Wan leaned into Consort Ning’s embrace, pressed her lips together in silence for a long while, and finally said, “I want to ask Your Grace for something.”

“Of course.”

On the eighth day of the fifth month, it was the seventh day after Zhang Zhanchun’s death.

Just as dawn was breaking, Deng Ying changed into plain white mourning clothes and walked out of his quarters.

It had rained during the night and was still drizzling. The moat’s water level was high, its sound louder than usual, and the weeping willows swayed ghostly in the river wind.

Deng Ying bent to pick up a broom that had fallen by the door, and as he straightened up, he saw Yang Wan walking toward him, holding an oiled paper umbrella.

She too wore pure white mourning clothes, having removed all her ornaments except for the pair of lotus jade pendants she never took off.

Deng Ying quickly brushed the dust from his hands.

“Why have you come?”

“I also want to pay my respects to Master Zhang.”

Deng Ying hesitated, “Did Lady Jiang allow you to leave the palace?”

Yang Wan smiled and shook her head, “Someone like Lady Jiang would never permit it, so I asked Consort Ning instead. Don’t worry, I won’t be punished.”

She tilted the umbrella slightly, “Shall we go?”

Deng Ying reached for her umbrella, “Let me hold it.”

Yang Wan didn’t insist otherwise, and they walked along the moat toward the Huiji Gate.

Yang Wan noticed he was still carefully avoiding any physical contact with her.

He held the umbrella tilted completely toward her side, leaving half his body in the rain.

Yang Wan raised her hand to straighten the umbrella handle.

Deng Ying glanced at the handle and quickly said, “I’m fine.”

Yang Wan shook her head with a smile, “Don’t tilt it toward me. You’re going to pay respects to your teacher – you should take proper care of your appearance.”

Deng Ying was startled by her words.

“Yes, you’re right to correct me. How thoughtless of me.”

Yang Wan looked up at him as they walked:

“You’re always trying to take care of everyone else, which is why you keep walking alone in the rain. I’m not as heartless as Yang Lun – I know you’re protecting me, but I’m doing well now, and I want you to think more about yourself.”

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “Have you been feeling better these past few days?”

Deng Ying didn’t answer verbally but nodded.

Yang Wan moved slightly closer to him, staying under the umbrella without touching him.

“But you still haven’t listened to me. I asked Li Yu – he said you haven’t been eating properly or getting enough sleep.”

Deng Ying’s steps faltered, “Don’t be angry, I…”

Yang Wan looked up at him with a smile, “I told you I’m not the type to leave when I’m angry.”

She took out a package of nuts from her sleeve, opened the oiled paper, and held it out to him, “At least you’re not completely foolish – you eat these every day. I shelled these myself before coming today. Try the walnuts, they’re more fragrant than the previous ones.”

She popped a few pieces of preserved fruit into her mouth.

Following her suggestion, Deng Ying took some walnut kernels, “Why do you like eating these so much?”

“It’s not that I particularly like them. You’ve seen me cook noodles… I’m not good at cooking, so I don’t know how to take good care of myself when it comes to food. These nuts are simple – just shell them and eat them, and they’re good for health, so I got used to eating them.”

Deng Ying looked at the walnuts and smiled slightly, “I’m getting used to them too.”

He lowered his head and put the walnut in his mouth.

Watching him chew, Yang Wan suddenly said, “Deng Ying, is it improper for me to have you walking and eating like this…”

Deng Ying shook his head, “There’s no one by the moat, it’s fine.”

Just as he finished speaking, someone called out to Yang Wan from ahead.

“Lady Yang.”

Yang Wan nearly choked on her preserved fruit. Looking up, she saw it was Zheng Yuejia.

He wasn’t in his official duties today, wearing informal grey robes, looking somewhat younger than when she’d seen him before the examinations.

Deng Ying handed the umbrella to Yang Wan and was about to bow when Zheng Yuejia said, “Stand still, no need to bow.”

He walked directly to Yang Wan and knelt, lifting his robes.

Yang Wan was startled, “What… what are you doing, Secretary Zheng?”

Zheng Yuejia prostrated himself, “Miss Heyu from Her Grace’s household told me about the other day. This slave thanked Lady Yang for saving my life. Please accept my three kowtows.”

Seeing him about to kowtow, Yang Wan suddenly panicked, clutching Deng Ying’s sleeve and hiding behind him.

Seeing her face turn red, Deng Ying quickly steadied the umbrella and turned to ask her, “What’s wrong?”

How could she explain to these two that in all her life, she’d never had someone older than her kowtow to her? Such grand gestures seemed more appropriate for after death, and she felt very uncomfortable right now.

“Please… please help Secretary Zheng up, I can’t accept this.”

Zheng Yuejia raised his head, “Lady Yang saved this slave’s life. Even if I were to weave grass into rings or carry twigs in my mouth like the grateful birds, I couldn’t repay you. How can you say you can’t accept three kowtows?”

Yang Wan didn’t know what to say and kept poking Deng Ying’s back from behind him, whispering urgently, “Don’t just stand there stupidly, say something…”

Deng Ying had no choice but to try calming her, “Alright, I’ll speak, but could you stop…”

Yang Wan quickly grabbed her hand, “I’ll stop poking you, just hurry and ask him to get up.”

She was completely flustered.

Deng Ying, seeing her red-faced panic, found it somewhat amusing.

He turned and handed the umbrella back to her, then walked to Zheng Yuejia and bent to help him up by the arm, “Secretary Zheng, please stand up to speak.”

Zheng Yuejia, seeing Yang Wan’s embarrassment, looked puzzled.

But he didn’t insist on kneeling, rising to give Yang Wan a formal bow instead.

Yang Wan finally relaxed, cautiously stepping closer but still hiding behind Deng Ying, peering out from behind him, “Lord Zheng, I only had Miss Heyu relay a message. The one who truly saved you was Consort Ning.”

Zheng Yuejia bowed again, “This slave will remember, and will gladly give my life for Her Grace and the young prince.”

Yang Wan felt a chill down her spine at those last words.

Like Deng Ying, the oaths of this era always made light of one’s own life.

Execution by a thousand cuts, giving one’s life – such phrases came easily to their lips.

Rushing headlong into desperate situations without considering who might be hurt by hearing such words.

She looked up at Deng Ying as she thought this. He stood quietly beside Zheng Yuejia, in plain white mourning clothes, as pure as snow, looking so ephemeral and fragile.

“I really… hate hearing you make such oaths.”

Deng Ying’s gaze shifted.

Yang Wan pressed her lips together, “After you give your life, who suffers the heartache?”

Zheng Yuejia and Deng Ying exchanged a glance, speechless.

“Stay alive properly – that’s how you protect those you want to protect.”

She turned to Deng Ying, “I’m not just talking about Lord Zheng, I’m talking about you too. Do you understand?”

Deng Ying nodded, “Yes.”

“Good that you understand.”

She let out a breath and raised her voice to ask Zheng Yuejia, “Lord Zheng, why are you by the moat so early?”

Zheng Yuejia replied, “Oh, I came to find Deng Ying.”

He looked at Deng Ying, “Today is the seventh day after Master Zhang’s passing. Are you going to Guangji Temple to pay respects?”

“Yes.”

“Have you considered what the Imperial Ancestor will think of you going to pay respects to Master Zhang?”

Deng Ying nodded, “I know.”

“If you know, then you shouldn’t go.”

Deng Ying raised his head, “If I don’t go, how am I different from animals?”

Zheng Yuejia sighed, “Many officials from the capital will be at Guangji Temple today – Chief Minister Bai, Chief Minister Zhang, people from the Six Offices and Six Ministries. Do you think they’ll tolerate your presence?”

“I don’t need their tolerance. I only need my teacher to accept me.”

“Why subject yourself to humiliation?”

Deng Ying shook his head, “I want to see my teacher one more time.”

Zheng Yuejia looked to Yang Wan, “Lady Yang, are you going with him?”

“Yes. I’m going to burn incense on behalf of Her Grace.”

Zheng Yuejia lowered his head, remained silent for a moment, then continued, “I’ve already tried to dissuade you, but you won’t listen. When you return from Guangji Temple, if the Directorate of Ceremonial takes action against you, I won’t be able to say a single word in your defense before the Imperial Ancestor.”

“I understand.”

“Very well.”

Zheng Yuejia stepped aside and bowed again, “Please offer a stick of incense to Master Zhang on my behalf as well.”