The Eastern Depot was located north of the Mixed Hall Court, and like the Directorate of Ceremonial, it was just another office within the inner court.

In Deng Ying’s first year leading the Eastern Depot, they only had the power to monitor and arrest, but not to detain or interrogate suspects. Yang Wan was being held in an empty duty room on the west side of the inner Eastern Depot. When the guards brought her in, she was already running a high fever, and the wounds on her body hadn’t stopped bleeding after the bumpy journey. However, there wasn’t even a clean blanket in the duty room at this time. Song Yunqing could only help Yang Wan lean temporarily against the couch before walking out to tell the guards, “I’ll go back to the Fifth Division to get her clean clothes and bring a blanket.”

Qin Wende said, “The Chengrong Palace just sent someone to ask, and they’ve already gone back to get her clothes.”

Song Yunqing nodded, “That’s good…”

Qin Wende glanced inside, “Although this is our Eastern Depot’s jurisdiction, she is still a prisoner after all. You shouldn’t stay too long, to avoid giving our Superintendent, or yourself, anything to be criticized about.”

“I understand.”

Song Yunqing looked up, “Let me help her change her clothes. No one else here can do this.”

Just then, the eunuch from Chengrong Palace arrived with clothes and bedding, anxiously telling Song Yunqing, “The Consort and young prince cannot come here. When they heard about the torture, they became extremely worried. This servant must personally ask the Chief Officer, how badly is Record Keeper Yang injured?”

Song Yunqing took the clothes, her nose stinging with emotion, but having served in the palace for many years, she knew not to add fuel to the fire. Holding back tears, she replied, “You can tell the Consort that although the injuries are not light, fortunately, they’re all surface wounds. In this moderate weather, they should heal quickly. Please ask the Consort to take care of herself and not worry too much.”

The eunuch sighed in relief, nodding, “With your words, this servant can go back with an answer.”

Song Yunqing waved for him to go, turned away to wipe her tears, then pushed open the door.

All of Yang Wan’s injuries were on her waist, abdomen, and legs. When Song Yunqing helped her change clothes, she could barely bear to look at the wounds.

“Just wear the undergarments tonight, you can’t handle anything more.”

Yang Wan struggled with her last bit of strength to cooperate with Song Yunqing’s movements. “It looks… scary, doesn’t it?”

Song Yunqing nodded with a soft “mm,” and then said, “I can’t stay overnight. After helping you change, I have to leave. It’s late now, and there can’t be any more disturbances at the gate, so we can’t call for the imperial physician. I’ll help apply some of the medicine Consort Ning provided, but tomorrow you’ll have to manage on your own. Yang Wan, remember, no matter what, don’t let any eunuchs touch your body. People like us – they’re not worthy. Do you understand?”

When Yang Wan heard Song Yunqing’s words, she suddenly remembered Li Yu once saying that although Song Yunqing had been paired with Chen Hua for many years, she never allowed Chen Hua to enter her quarters. This showed how lowly these people in the Ming palace were – even if they gained the affection of palace maids, they could never earn their true respect.

“Yunqing…”

“Hmm?”

Yang Wan didn’t want to answer Song Yunqing directly, so she changed the subject.

“Could you take a message to Consort Ning for me?”

Song Yunqing pressed down the bedding at the edge of the bed, bending to help tie the side sash of her undergarments. “Tell me.”

“Tell the Consort, please don’t… plead on my behalf. It’s best if she doesn’t inquire about me at all.”

“I’ll tell her.”

As Song Yunqing spoke, she moved Yang Wan’s legs onto the couch and pulled the blanket over her body. “I’m leaving now. Take care of yourself.”

“Alright…”

The duty room door opened and closed, leaving only silence inside, save for the occasional “pop” from the lamp Song Yunqing had lit before leaving, which hadn’t yet burned steadily. Deng Ying stood outside the duty room, watching the warm glow on the window screen without saying a word. As two shifts of guards changed at the door, Deng Ying stepped aside. The long-standing made his leg injury ache, causing him to stumble slightly. Qin Wende tried to help him, but saw him wave his hand, “It’s fine, continue your shift change.”

Qin Wende said, “Superintendent, since you’re here, why not go in to see her?”

Deng Ying didn’t answer.

He had been standing there for almost half an hour, but he dared not go in.

He feared she would be exposed while tending to her wounds, feeling humiliated and unsettled. He feared that no matter how much he lowered himself, he couldn’t lift her dignity. Although he had suffered all those punishments himself, the final castration punishment had erased all previous pain. He could no longer speak final words like Zhou Congshan who said before death, “May my flesh and blood fall to earth to pave a good path for those who follow, and may my bones become trees to shelter future generations.”

After that one cut, he no longer had the right to be an “ancestor” to future generations.

He could only accept his fate, put down the pen that wrote articles, close the mouth that shouted for the world, don palace robes, call himself a servant, and live on in silence.

He had become like this, but Yang Wan was different.

She was perhaps the only person in this world who pitied Deng Ying.

For Deng Ying, if she had even a single crack, he would have to shatter completely to continue staying by her side.

“Superintendent.”

Seeing no response, Qin Wende called out again tentatively, “It is indeed late today. Why don’t you return first and question her tomorrow?”

“Alright…”

Just as he lowered his head to reply, he suddenly heard the person inside call his name.

“Deng Ying.”

The voice was very weak, but he heard it.

“Deng Ying.”

She didn’t say anything else, just called out again, though her voice trembled at the end, even triggering several coughs.

“Here.”

It came out almost instantly.

She seemed to sigh, or perhaps let out a breath of relief.

“Whether you see me or not, please don’t foolishly blame yourself… I’m fine, it doesn’t hurt much, I just don’t have much strength, otherwise, I’d help you open the door…”

After saying this, she coughed several more times intermittently.

“Deng Ying, could you ask them to bring me some water?”

“Bring me a pot of water.”

As he spoke, he untied his official robe worn on the outside and handed it to a guard beside him.

The guard seemed confused, “This subordinate will go get the Superintendent’s casual clothes.”

Deng Ying personally took the water brought by the guard and said softly, “No need. Step back a few paces and keep quiet.”

“Yes.”

The guards stepped back several paces after responding, their footsteps rustling from near to far.

Yang Wan closed her eyes, hearing sounds at the door. Outside, someone seemed to be walking back and forth with a wind lantern, much brighter than inside the room. But after just a moment, the door closed, and a thin shadow fell before her.

Yang Wan slowly turned over, enduring the pain.

“Being a prisoner of the Eastern Depot is much better than being in the imperial prison.”

Deng Ying put the water pot on the table, silently poured a cup of water, and walked to Yang Wan’s bedside.

He didn’t sit but half-knelt down. He gently supported Yang Wan’s back with his arm and brought the cup to her lips.

Yang Wan lowered her head, sipping the water from the cup bit by bit. Deng Ying just held the cup quietly, completely still, waiting until she moved her mouth away before switching to his other half-kneeling leg.

Yang Wan looked up at Deng Ying, “Doesn’t your leg hurt like that? Sit down.”

Deng Ying shook his head while holding the teacup, “I won’t sit.”

“Why?”

He didn’t speak, just shook his head.

Only then did Yang Wan notice he wasn’t wearing his outer robe. His blue undergarment showed the bone structure of his shoulders, but where those shoulder bones bent, there were no sharp angles. He looked no different from any gentleman from an ordinary family.

Yang Wan reached her hand out from under the blanket and gently grabbed his wrist, trying to help him up.

Fearing she would pull at her wounds, Deng Ying didn’t hesitate for a moment and quickly stood up following her force, but then she pressed down on his wrist again, trying to pull him to sit.

“Yang Wan… let me stand.”

“No…”

She didn’t let go, “Your heart is truly too delicate, so delicate that I feel ashamed in comparison. I have to use so much effort just to get you a little closer to me…”

As she spoke, she met Deng Ying’s gaze, “Please don’t stand like this, alright? If you want to question me, wait until tomorrow. I don’t have any strength today…”

“What would I question you about?”

As he spoke, he quickly complied and sat down.

“Wait for Lord Yang to return, let him question me, together with you.”

After saying this, he pinched his sleeve and lowered his head, “Yang Wan, I no longer know what to do to make things better for you.”

Yang Wan pressed her lips together and gritted her teeth as she propped herself up halfway.

Deng Ying quickly said, “What do you need? I’ll get it.”

“I don’t need anything. Help me lie down a bit further inside.”

“Alright…”

Deng Ying was somewhat at a loss, “How can I help you without pulling at your wounds?”

“Hold me.”

Deng Ying was stunned.

“I…”

Yang Wan looked at his slightly reddening ears and smiled palely at him, “Never mind, I’ll do it myself.”

As she spoke, she tried to lift her leg but had no strength at all.

“Don’t move, I’ll do it.”

After saying this, he gently squeezed his hand before standing up and bending down to reach into the cotton blanket.

Fortunately, she was wearing complete undergarments.

But because she was feverish, her body temperature was much higher than his hands. When he searched for her knee bend and touched her leg, she seemed to tremble but said nothing.

Deng Ying dared not think of anything as he gently supported Yang Wan’s knee bend, one hand supporting her back, trying to gather her into his arms.

“Lying here… does it feel better?”

“Yes, I want to lie a bit further in.”

Hearing this, Deng Ying lifted one leg, half-kneeling on the edge of the couch, and moved Yang Wan’s body in a bit more.

“That’s good…”

Just as Deng Ying was about to withdraw his hand, Yang Wan gripped his arm, “Deng Ying… I have an unreasonable request.”

“Tell me.”

“Stay with me tonight, please?”

As she spoke, she gently released his arm, “You’re the Superintendent of the Eastern Depot, it might not be appropriate to be locked up with a prisoner like me, but this is your jurisdiction, and Song Yunqing and the others don’t dare stay…”

“I wasn’t planning to leave.”

He softly interrupted Yang Wan.

“I’ll sit and watch over you.”

“You took off your official robe, aren’t you cold?”

“No.”

Yang Wan raised her arm and gently lifted a corner of the blanket.

Deng Ying stepped back, “Yang Wan… don’t treat me like this.”

Yang Wan turned her arm, reaching her hand out from under the blanket. The red marks left by the shackles were still there, standing out particularly stark against her snow-white skin.

“Deng Ying, you once said you were a person with guilt. Although I never mocked you for it, at the time I thought it was absurd – how could someone be guilty just for being imprisoned and tortured? But today I understand. I understand why you think that way, why you’re so humble because even I cannot help but be humble now. The dynasty establishes justice, and the emperor establishes prisons, it’s for education, but also to make people feel fear. I was very afraid today… Deng Ying, that day at South Lake, you were very afraid too, weren’t you…”

She choked up after speaking, “I’m sorry, Deng Ying. At that time, I didn’t understand others’ pain at all, thinking I was already being very careful and measured… Looking back now, I was truly just being presumptuous about my cleverness. I offended you greatly, yet you kept stepping back, supporting what I called my dignity. Deng Ying… I’m sorry. But you must believe me, the words I said to you, won’t change. I want to help you, I must help you…”

By the end, she was choking with sobs, and Deng Ying watched her helplessly, not knowing how to comfort her.

“No, Wan Wan… don’t say such things.”

Yang Wan hadn’t heard what he called her in his urgency, she just kept repeating “I’m sorry…”

Deng Ying bent down to take off his shoes and socks, lying down against the edge of the bed. He didn’t know what to say either, he could only comfort her by opening his heart like he did that day in the torture chamber, “That day I wasn’t thinking of anything… I’m a person with a past but dare not hope for a future. It was only because your pinky promised to come to find me that I had such a slight fantasy. So it’s alright, Wan Wan, it’s alright…”

Perhaps it was the words “it’s alright” that comforted Yang Wan, as she gradually calmed down, her breathing becoming steadier.

Deng Ying didn’t dare move again, lightly tucking the blanket between them.

That night, Deng Ying stayed sitting beside Yang Wan.

Yang Wan’s hand lay on the back of his hand, and whether from nightmares or pain, she would grip it from time to time.

Deng Ying no longer tried to avoid it, letting her touch and grasp.

It wasn’t the first time she had touched him, but this time felt different to Deng Ying.

It was no longer giving but seemed to want to take something from him.

He had once told Yang Wan that what he hoped to receive from her was pity for a servant.

But now he could no longer say those words.

He didn’t know the specific reason why.

Some things gradually change with the passing of months and years, cracks forming silently and imperceptibly.

In the past, separated by paper, Yang Wan could respect him but couldn’t love him.

Now, sitting together on the same bed, she could finally respect him, and try to love him.