“Get up when I tell you to get up.”

Yang Wan, leaning in He Yu’s embrace, urged him.

Deng Ying was startled by her urging and hurriedly rose with thanks, “Yes, this servant thanks Your Highness.”

After speaking, he turned and bowed to Consort Ning, “This servant still has duties at the Bureau, and must take leave first.”

“Superintendent Deng, please stay.”

Deng Ying straightened up, “Does Your Majesty have further instructions?”

Consort Ning nodded at him, then bent down to speak to Yi Lang: “First help your aunt inside, Mother will follow shortly.”

“Yes.”

Yi Lang obediently agreed, gently taking Yang Wan’s hand, “Aunt, let’s go inside.”

Yang Wan held Yi Lang’s hand while walking, turning back to look at Consort Ning.

She could probably guess what Consort Ning wanted to ask Deng Ying, but Consort Ning never turned back to look at her.

Deng Ying watched until Yang Wan disappeared behind the screen before withdrawing his gaze and bowing to Consort Ning. “Your Majesty has questions to ask.”

Consort Ning stepped aside on the steps, “People come and go here. Please, Superintendent Deng, may we speak elsewhere?”

“Yes.”

Deng Ying followed Consort Ning into the front hall of Chengqian Palace. At this time, there was no one else in the front hall besides the two of them.

Consort Ning personally closed the door, turned to him, and said: “Superintendent, please sit.”

“This servant dares not. Your Majesty, please speak directly.”

Consort Ning turned to the side. The shadows from the brocade window gradually moved across her face. She was even fairer than Yang Wan, and those grayish-brown leaf shadows on her skin looked almost like dried blood scabs. She folded her hands in front of her abdomen, walked two steps closer to Deng Ying, knelt, and was about to perform a full kowtow.

Deng Ying quickly knelt and held Consort Ning’s arm, “Your Majesty must not.”

Consort Ning raised her head, “I know this violates palace rules and will put you in a difficult position, but my actions today have already placed my life and fate entirely in your hands. Please, you must hear me out.”

Deng Ying tried to help her up, “Let this servant help Your Majesty rise to speak.”

Consort Ning shook her head, slowly withdrawing her arm from Deng Ying’s hands, and looked up at him.

“I am very grateful that you saved Wan’er, and I understand that Zheng Yuejia cannot survive… Although I am not as clever as Wan’er, I am not a fool. Rest assured, I have no excessive expectations of the Superintendent, nor do I dare to make unreasonable requests of His Majesty. I just want… if possible, could I see him one last time?”

Deng Ying lowered his head, “Tomorrow this servant will bring him back to be held at the Inner Eastern Bureau, but for Your Majesty’s and His Highness’s sake, this servant cannot allow you to see him.”

Consort Ning said: “Just once, I want to say one thing to him.”

Deng Ying was silent for a moment but still shook his head.

“Even just once would not be good for Your Majesty.”

“Alright…”

Consort Ning’s eyes dimmed as she sighed, kneeling back and looking palely at the shadows on the ground.

“Just… pretend I never mentioned this.”

Deng Ying prostrated himself and kowtowed, “This servant has failed Your Majesty.”

Consort Ning looked at Deng Ying’s back and shook her head gently, “You and Wan’er have already done your best, you haven’t failed anyone. It’s just that I, who survived, feel unfulfilled. But…”

She looked toward the window shadows as she spoke, “I truly cannot let you all, along with my brother and Yi Lang, risk danger.”

Deng Ying straightened up, “Your Majesty, please be at ease. What Your Majesty has told this servant today, this servant will forget as soon as he leaves.”

Consort Ning smiled tightly, “You don’t need to forget. This matter between Zheng Yuejia and me has been in our hearts for almost ten years. Besides Wan’er, I’ve never told anyone. As for Yuejia, I don’t know if he ever mentioned it to you.”

Deng Ying shook his head.

Consort Ning sighed, “Yes… about him entering the palace for me, back then… only He Yixian knew. Ten years…”

Her voice began to choke up, “Superintendent Deng, I tell you this hoping you can understand what’s in Wan’er’s heart, and not be like Yuejia, who, unable to speak with me, never understood what I was thinking his whole life.”

As she spoke, she raised her hand to press the corners of her eyes, continuing dejectedly: “I liked him since I was young, collecting his calligraphy and reading his poetry. Later when I was older and met him, I found him to be a very good and proper man. If my father hadn’t sent me into the palace, perhaps we wouldn’t have ended up like this. But now, I don’t regret it. Looking after each other in the palace for ten years, though I never spoke a single word to him, just seeing him made me feel I could live peacefully, without thinking about His Majesty’s attitude toward me or getting entangled with other consorts. I never felt that liking Yuejia was something shameful. If only I alone were to be punished, I truly want to tell the world what’s in my heart. I wanted to be his dignity, not the sin he imposed upon himself, but I couldn’t…”

She paused here, her fingers gradually tightening on her knee, “So, I hope he regrets, regrets suffering such great punishment for me, regrets ending up in such a state for me. If there is a next life, I beg him to properly state his misfortunes before the King of Hell, cross the Bridge of Helplessness well, drink Meng Po’s soup of forgetfulness, and in the next life, forget me completely.”

Deng Ying looked at Consort Ning’s face. Like Yang Wan, she didn’t like to cry. When sad, her eyes would redden, but she would always hold back her tears. Yet her words were always more sorrowful than Yang Wan’s.

Deng Ying lowered his eyes and said softly: “This servant will help Your Majesty see him once.”

Consort Ning was startled.

“Is it possible?”

“Yes. Tomorrow at noon, the Bureau guards will bring him into the palace through the East Peace Gate, then pass through the East Glory Gate, past the Hall of Literary Glory. The young prince has lectured in the Hall of Literary Glory. Your Majesty can stand on the west side of the Hall to catch a glimpse of him, but cannot speak. He has injuries from torture so won’t walk quickly, but the guards cannot stop. Please don’t blame this servant.”

“Good… thank you.”

As she spoke, despite Deng Ying’s attempts to stop her, she insisted on bowing to him.

Deng Ying helped her stand, then stepped back and bowed, “I hope Your Majesty, no matter what will not show sorrow before His Majesty. The southern land clearing is not yet finished, and between life and death, Your Majesty please take care.”

Consort Ning nodded through her tears.

Deng Ying couldn’t bear to face her any longer and took his leave.

Consort Ning stood alone at the door, looking up to compose herself for a while before walking to the back hall.

In the bedroom of the back hall, Yang Wan had just had medicine applied, and He Yu was feeding her porridge. Yi Lang sat on a stool reading a book. Consort Ning rubbed her somewhat swollen eyes, trying to make her voice sound as natural as possible, “What is Yi Lang doing?”

Yang Wan gently pushed away the bowl of porridge in He Yu’s hand, “When the medicine was applied earlier it hurt quite badly, so His Highness was reading ‘Shadow of Dreams’ to this servant.”

Consort Ning took the porridge bowl from He Yu’s hand and sat beside Yang Wan.

“Sister couldn’t protect you well. These few days, rest and recover peacefully, sister will serve you.”

Yang Wan hurriedly said: “Your Majesty, you cannot stay with me constantly, you must go see His Majesty.”

Consort Ning put down the porridge bowl, “How can I see him…”

She lowered her eyes, looking at the rice skin formed on the edge of the porridge bowl, “And what could I say if I did?”

“Don’t say anything, just spend a day or two properly with His Majesty.”

“For the future?”

“…”

Yang Wan was speechless.

Consort Ning glanced at Yi Lang nearby, signaling He Yu to take him out for some food, before speaking softly to Yang Wan: “If you were sister, could you do it?”

Yang Wan’s heart was suddenly pierced by these words, and she quickly grabbed Consort Ning’s hand saying: “I’m sorry sister, I was too presumptuous, I shouldn’t have said such things, I…”

Consort Ning gripped her hand back, “Don’t move, don’t move, be careful not to hurt yourself again.”

“I’m not in pain.”

“Ah…”

Consort Ning sighed softly, “You mean well for sister, sister understands everything, it’s just that people aren’t plants and trees, we all have places we can’t bear to leave.”

As she spoke, she stroked Yang Wan’s cheek, “Can you promise sister one thing?”

“Please tell me.”

Consort Ning moved her legs to sit closer to Yang Wan. The shadow of the bed curtain fell completely on her, enveloping her entire person.

“Although our Yang family has a brother in the cabinet, His Majesty is wary of relatives by marriage, and Yi Lang has seen very little of a brother over these many years. You and I understand brother’s character – upright his whole life, his heart and mind focused entirely on the court and the common people. Even though Yi Lang is his relative, he only treats him as a prince to be disciplined. Although the Hall of Literary Glory has teachers, lecturers, and readers who have always been devoted to Yi Lang, they are after all outside officials who cannot know a young child’s cold and warm, sickness and pain, nor see his tears. This child, worried about disappointing his teachers, is also worried that his father won’t believe in him. Although he won’t say anything, he lives much more bitterly than children from ordinary families…”

“Sister, what are you trying to say?”

Yang Wan interrupted her, “Yi Lang is your son, only you can feel pain for his suffering.”

Consort Ning shook her head, “You can too.”

“I cannot… sister, I cannot.”

As she shook, she pulled at her wound, causing her to gasp in pain, but she paid no attention to anything else and grabbed Consort Ning’s sleeve.

“I cannot bear such responsibility. He is a prince of the Great Ming Dynasty, I am just a… no… sister, I am nothing.”

Consort Ning embraced Yang Wan, “Don’t be afraid, Wan’er, sister hasn’t had foolish thoughts, sister just fears His Majesty’s suspicion and resentment, sister will implicate Yi Lang, and you.”

Yang Wan shook her head: “If he wants to resent then let him resent, but sister, you must live!”

“Wan’er, mind your words.”

Yang Wan didn’t respond to her, raising her voice to continue: “He’s just a man, if a man resents a woman, then let him resent! He’s the one tossing and turning, he’s the one unsettled in spirit. Sister, live peacefully with us, why care about whether he lives or dies!”

“Wan’er!”

After this outburst, Yang Wan was somewhat breathless, her chest tight with pain, making her slightly dizzy.

She understood how absurd, how presumptuous these words would sound in this era, but she still said them to Consort Ning, even though she knew that views separated by several hundred years could never truly take root in Consort Ning’s heart. Moreover, that person wasn’t just a man – the Emperor’s “resentment” could create a cage, a set of shackles, imprisoning the fragile woman before her for life.

“Sister…”

“Yes.”

Yang Wan hugged Consort Ning’s waist, “I promise you, no matter what, I will take good care of His Highness, but you must also promise me to live well and not think too much. One day, we will be able to walk out of here.”