Deng Ying was stripped of his official position, with the Eastern Investigation Bureau temporarily transferred to the control of the Directorate of Ceremonial. His official robes and seal were returned to the Directorate.

He had thought that upon his return, Li Yu and Chen Hua would treat him “differently,” but the quarters by the city moat were livelier than he’d expected. Li Yu, his face smudged with soot, was picking through the charcoal basket by the door. Chen Hua, accompanied by two young eunuchs, was busy preparing meals. Seeing Yang Wan supporting Deng Ying, he quickly abandoned his tasks to welcome them: “Finally back.”

Deng Ying raised his hand in greeting, “Seal-bearer.”

Chen Hua hurriedly steadied him, “No need, no need, you’ll shorten my life doing that!”

Deng Ying straightened up, “It’s according to protocol.”

Chen Hua said, “Haven’t you helped us advance enough before? If I put on airs just because you’re in trouble, wouldn’t that make me heartless?”

Deng Ying nodded with a smile.

As the two stood talking at the door, Yang Wan watched Li Yu diligently tending the fire. She took out a handkerchief to wipe Li Yu’s face, “Thank you for helping me clean up.”

Li Yu brushed away Yang Wan’s hand, “Don’t touch my face, I’m not a child.”

Chen Hua laughed from the side, “Song Sizan scolded him this morning, he’s in a bad mood.”

Yang Wan asked, “Where’s Yun Qing?”

Chen Hua sighed, “You know how strict the rules are at the Clothing Bureau, it wouldn’t be appropriate for her to come.”

“True.”

Yang Wan nodded while speaking, “I’ll go see her tomorrow.”

She looked up at Chen Hua and said, “I’ll help him to bed first, then come out to help you all.”

Chen Hua replied, “You take care of Deng Ying. We’re used to this work, we’ll manage efficiently.”

Yang Wan supported Deng Ying into the room.

The indigo bedding was laid out neatly on the wooden bed frame. Yang Wan helped Deng Ying sit on the edge, then turned to get his undergarments from the cabinet.

As the cabinet door opened, a faint soap fragrance wafted out. Deng Ying lifted his head, watching Yang Wan’s back as she crouched before the cabinet. To come to receive him, she hadn’t worn palace clothes, her entire outfit was plain, and her hair was done simply. She went through Deng Ying’s clothes one by one, asking in an even voice, “Shall we use the old ones? They’re softer.”

“Any is fine.”

Yang Wan gave a small laugh, pulling out a silk garment that had been starched until soft, then turned to look at Deng Ying’s feet.

“Take off your shoes.”

“Oh… all right.”

In their private moments, he had grown accustomed to her somewhat forceful manner, how she managed every aspect of his life. Though she wasn’t a particularly meticulous woman, she knew exactly when and how to treat Deng Ying, giving him the courage to follow his heart and move forward fearlessly, while also allowing him to quietly be an obedient man by her side. In other words, she seemed to have known Deng Ying for a very long time, familiar with his unconscious temperament, to the extent that even her tone of voice could timely soothe Deng Ying’s heart.

So, Deng Ying didn’t want to think about anything else. He docilely placed his feet on the ground, waiting for Yang Wan to continue her “nagging.”

Yang Wan looked at Deng Ying’s feet planted on the ground, his big toes shyly pressing against each other, as if wanting to be seen yet ashamed of their ugliness, appearing hesitant.

“All dirty.”

Speaking thus, she smiled and crouched down, brushing the dust off his feet with her hand.

“Wan Wan, don’t touch them, I’ll do it myself.”

Yang Wan pinched his toes and looked up, “Now you won’t let me touch you?”

Deng Ying winced at her pinch, unconsciously gripping his trouser legs. Looking down at Yang Wan, he said softly, “It’s not that I won’t let you, I’ve always been afraid to.”

Yang Wan stood up, crossing her arms, “Get up there.”

“What?”

“Sit on the bed.”

As she spoke, she lifted a corner of the blanket, “Quickly.”

“All right.”

Deng Ying lifted his legs onto the bed, while Yang Wan tucked in the blanket, saying, “Since we haven’t changed the bedding yet, you can lie there all dirty if you want, but after I help you change it, you’ll have to bathe before getting in, and you’re not allowed down without reason.”

She placed his undergarments beside the bed, “Same for these, change after your bath.”

Just then, Chen Hua called from outside, “Miss Wan, could you come here a moment?”

Yang Wan rose and walked to the door. Chen Hua handed her a surcoat, saying, “Song Sizan asked me to bring this to you. I couldn’t say it earlier with Deng Ying present… Sizan says the one you made is fine for wearing at home, but if you’re seeing others, it’s rather… ugly.”

Yang Wan laughed, “That person, making you speak such blunt truths.”

Chen Hua also laughed, “Yes, this is the first one you ruined, she partly took it apart and altered it. The stitching isn’t done yet, she says to take your time with it, the general shape won’t be spoiled.”

Yang Wan shook out the surcoat and said to Chen Hua, “Really thank you both, and Li Yu too. I can’t easily use people from Chengqian Palace, if not for you all, with my clumsy hands, I really couldn’t manage.”

Chen Hua smiled and asked Li Yu, “You’ve been dawdling so long, is the water hot yet?”

Li Yu, squatting by the stove, said, “I’m not dawdling, it’s been ready ages ago, you told Yang Wan to bring the basin to carry it.”

Chen Hua scolded him, “Can’t even call her Miss Wan.”

Li Yu stood up angrily, “I’m leaving.”

“Hey, you…”

Chen Hua couldn’t stop Li Yu, and looked embarrassedly at Yang Wan, “I’m really sorry, even his sister can’t control him sometimes, let alone me.”

Yang Wan lowered her head with a laugh, “It’s fine, his temperament is just right for dealing with the one inside.”

Hearing this, Chen Hua couldn’t help but laugh, nodding, “Miss Wan speaks true.”

After speaking, he took his leave: “We’ll be going too. Thank you for your trouble, Miss Wan. If you need anything, send Li Yu to find me at the Fuel Office, or you can go to the Clothing Bureau to find Sizan yourself.”

Yang Wan bowed to him, “I understand, thank you.”

After seeing Chen Hua and the others off, a wind suddenly rose.

Yang Wan returned to the inner room, closing the doors and windows.

Deng Ying still sat quietly on the bed, lifting his arms and repeatedly fretting over the sleeves of his garment. Seeing Yang Wan enter, he quickly hid his hands under the covers.

Yang Wan leaned against the door, “Stop looking, it’s just that I made mistakes when sewing, it’s not the wearer’s problem.”

She sat down beside Deng Ying’s bed and pulled out his hidden hands, “I’ll help you wash up in a bit, keep it for wearing at home when you’re cold. Take it off now, have a bath, and we’ll eat.”

“Wan Wan.”

“Mm?”

Deng Ying seemed at a loss, “I… where do I bathe…”

Seeing his helpless expression, Yang Wan spoke gently, “Originally wanted Li Yu to take you to the communal bath, but I accidentally upset him earlier. Fortunately, he heated the water, I’ll bring it in and let you bathe in the room.”

Deng Ying’s fingers gripped slightly, he didn’t speak, just unconsciously curled up his legs.

Though he and Yang Wan had been intimate before, she had never truly seen this body he despised. The half-remaining cartilage from his punishment years ago had now sprouted anew, making him increasingly self-loathing. He pressed his knees tightly together, unconsciously reaching toward the punishment scars.

However, before he could touch them, Yang Wan grabbed his hand through the blanket.

“You’re a patient, you can’t.”

She pulled his hand out, joining it with the other, holding both together.

“Everyone has moments of wretchedness, places they’d rather not show. Deng Ying, even if I see your wounds, I’ll only love you more, and cherish you more. Though you don’t know it, I’ve revered you alone, presumptuous as it may be, for many years. I’m so grateful that now I finally have the chance to comfort you with my own hands.”

Deng Ying lowered his head, looking at his wrists held in Yang Wan’s hands.

“That place is really…”

“Is it as ugly as the clothes I made?”

Yang Wan laughed, bending down close to his face, “Little Deng Ying, stop talking, your ear is already twitching.”

“What?”

Just as Deng Ying was about to raise his hand to touch his ear, Yang Wan pressed it down, “You’re very afraid, aren’t you?”

“I’m not.”

“Did you know that when you’re uneasy, one of your ears moves?”

Deng Ying’s palms lay flat on his knees, awkwardness leaving him speechless, yet feeling compelled to cover it up, he could only helplessly ask her, “Which… which ear moves?”

“Can I stay here?”

Yang Wan interrupted him, softly repeating, “Little Deng Ying, can I stay and help you while you bathe?”

Deng Ying lowered his head, remaining silent for a long while.

Yang Wan also stopped speaking, quietly holding his wrists and waiting.

Outside, the water on the stove had boiled, the lid rattling with bubbling sounds.

“Wan Wan.”

Deng Ying called to Yang Wan.

“Mm.”

Deng Ying hesitated, then looked up at Yang Wan, “Didn’t you… tell me to listen to you?”

Yang Wan’s eyes curved in a smile as she took his hand, “Good, come down, I’ll go get the water.”

That day, through the warm water, Yang Wan saw for the first time the most substantial harm the Ming Dynasty had inflicted upon Deng Ying.

It wasn’t a hideous place, but it was enough to discipline him into a humble and lonely man.

Deng Ying closed his eyes and soaked silently in the water, each of Yang Wan’s touches on his body almost triggering a fine tremor.

Yang Wan leaned on the edge of the tub, gently gathering his hair that lay scattered on his shoulders.

“Let me tie it in a bun for you.”

She stood up, taking out her own hairpin, gathering Deng Ying’s hair while saying, “Deng Ying, I’ve seen it now, it’s just as I imagined. From now on, you’re not allowed to say those things anymore.”

Deng Ying’s voice was slightly unsteady, “Wan Wan, what you’ve given me is no longer just pity for a servant.”

Yang Wan turned her wrist, inserting the hairpin into Deng Ying’s hair.

“It never was. Deng Ying, since I woke up by the lake, I’ve never been afraid of anything, except you.”

She looked down at Deng Ying’s neck, “The only thing I feared was not being able to save you. At first, I feared not being able to save your life, then I feared not being able to protect your dignity, but now…”

She looked at Deng Ying’s “bun” and laughed, “I think heaven wasn’t blind in sending me to find you. Deng Ying, thankfully I came, really, thankfully I came.”