Children played and frolicked in the courtyard, while under the pavilion, a young man and woman sat together in silence.

“Have you never kissed before?”

Yan Shang’s question left Mu Wanyao speechless.

Their relationship was the strangest of all.

Not quite friends, not quite lovers; closer than friends, yet less than lovers. When together, they spent long periods in wordless confrontation, long stretches of awkwardness, long moments averting their gazes…

Mu Wanyao’s fingers curled slightly, tapping against the wooden table as she regretted her earlier loss of composure in front of the children. She couldn’t help but recall the few times she had kissed him:

Once, moved by his sentiment, she couldn’t help herself;

Once, touched by his thoughtfulness, she couldn’t help herself;

And recently, one last time, moved by his understanding, she still couldn’t help herself.

It seemed she was always unable to help herself.

Mu Wanyao tilted her head back, staring blankly at the pavilion’s ceiling. Dust motes danced in the air, and after watching them for a while, she spoke in an odd tone: “…How could those be considered kisses?”

How could kissing someone be like that?

Yan Shang sat beside her, his dark lashes trembling slightly as he pressed his lips together, saying nothing.

Mu Wanyao’s beautiful eyes slid sideways to look at this silent man, studying his straight, rigid posture for a long moment.

“Hey, Yan whatever-your-name-is,” Mu Wanyao said.

“Mm?” Yan Shang responded softly.

“Say something.”

After a moment of silence, Yan Shang asked, “If those weren’t kisses, were they… forced?”

Mu Wanyao had no words.

So they both fell silent again.

As the awkwardness dragged on, the temperature under the pavilion seemed to rise, making everyone uncomfortable.

Mu Wanyao felt both frustrated and stifled. Just as she could barely stand this increasingly strange atmosphere and was about to burst, a servant standing outside the pavilion spoke, rescuing them both: “Second Young Master, shall we load all your books onto the carriage?”

Mu Wanyao and Yan Shang both let out sighs of relief.

Then they glanced at each other again.

Yan Shang’s lips curved in a polite smile: “Shall I go check on my books?”

Mu Wanyao stood up casually, saying absently, “I’ll go look too.”

Yan Shang: “…”

He gave her a complicated look, and Mu Wanyao instantly realized what she had said, feeling mortified and hating herself for being so distracted.

Yan Shang was making an excuse to separate from her, but with her casual response, she had invited herself along… making it seem like she was doing it deliberately.

However, once the Princess of Danyang had spoken, how could she take it back?

Mu Wanyao looked at him: “What’s wrong? I’m just looking at your books. Perhaps some could be given to the children in the healing ward.”

Yan Shang sighed: “Your Highness is magnanimous.”

Mu Wanyao didn’t accept the compliment: “Being generous with your books at your expense—what’s magnanimous about that?”

Yan Shang fell silent again—

After leaving the pavilion, although they still walked one in front of the other, there was now a sense of distance, which was at least better than the tension they’d felt under the pavilion.

Outside, with the princess’s maids waiting, Mu Wanyao moved to the front to join her attendants, creating distance between herself and Yan Shang.

At Yan Shang’s humble residence, Mu Wanyao saw that the house was indeed almost empty. Now distracted, she just wanted to find any excuse to get through this and leave quickly.

So she brushed past Yan Shang, pretending to be helpful by arranging the books on the shelves.

Yan Shang: “Your Highness needn’t trouble yourself…”

Mu Wanyao: “Stop fussing.”

She organized the books with her back to him. After watching her for a moment, Yan Shang said nothing more and went to the inner room with his servant to pack other things.

Mu Wanyao casually flipped through the books while Chunhua helped her organize them. As books were removed one by one, Mu Wanyao noticed a small wooden box at the very back of the ancient shelf. She absently picked it up to hand to Chunhua. However, Chunhua was turned away from organizing other books and didn’t catch the box the princess held out.

“Bang.”

The box fell, its contents scattering everywhere, startling Mu Wanyao.

She nervously glanced at the curtain to the inner room, seeing that Yan Shang hadn’t come out—perhaps he hadn’t heard the noise. She sighed in relief and quickly knelt to gather the contents of the wooden box.

The box contained various scattered writings that looked like correspondence, but they were probably just Yan Shang’s discarded drafts. As Mu Wanyao collected the drafts, she caught glimpses of the writing and couldn’t help but stop to look.

She picked up the drafts and quickly scanned through them:

These were indeed letters Yan Shang had written. Some had errors, and some had crossed-out sections he’d deleted, making them unsuitable to send.

Mu Wanyao flipped through them casually, seeing he had written many letters to different friends, to his father, and his younger sister. Today he would ask about one friend’s previously mentioned illness and whether it had improved; tomorrow he would send money with a letter to help another friend who could barely afford to eat.

In his letters to his younger sister Yan Xiaozhou, he showed earnest concern for her daily life. At first, he wrote about sending two bolts of fabric, then crossed that out and changed it to four bolts… He admitted sheepishly that he didn’t understand girls’ preferences and suggested his sister should choose for herself.

In his letters, he urged his elder brother and sister-in-law to look after the family, advising them not to let their father drink too much;

He encouraged his third brother to focus and study well, saying that even if he didn’t want to become an official, at least he could try for the jinshi examination;

He told one friend that he had tried and enjoyed the items they’d sent, thanking them for their letter;

He asked another friend if their wedding date remained unchanged, saying he would attend on time if it hadn’t changed…

In short, these were all Yan Shang’s daily correspondence.

Though they were trivial matters, Mu Wanyao imagined that everyone who received Yan Shang’s letters must find him considerate. He remembered every word his friends said, worried about every illness they mentioned… Mu Wanyao became lost in thought as she looked through these letters.

She felt somewhat envious of Yan Shang’s friends.

“Your Highness?” Yan Shang’s voice pulled Mu Wanyao from her melancholy thoughts.

Still crouching on the ground holding his discarded drafts, she looked up to see Yan Shang had come out from the inner room and was looking at her with concern.

Yan Shang saw her upturned face and somewhat desolate expression.

He reached out his hand to her, speaking gently: “Did the box fall? It’s alright, I’ll take care of it. Your Highness need not worry.”

Mu Wanyao stared at his extended fingers, long and white as jade.

She thought about how many people he must have reached out to.

She avoided his hand and stood up on her own, tossing the letters to him with an indifferent tone: “Nothing’s missing, check for yourself.”

Without waiting for Yan Shang’s thanks, she turned and left the room. Chunhua, somewhat bewildered, apologized to Second Young Master Yan before hurrying after the princess.

Yan Shang furrowed his brow thoughtfully—

Mu Wanyao left Yan Shang’s residence and went directly to find the Jin Princess Consort, who was still praying to Buddha. Mu Wanyao coldly said she wasn’t feeling well and would return to her residence first. The confused Jin Princess Consort, afraid of being left behind, had no choice but to join the princess in her carriage.

That day when Mu Wanyao returned to her princess residence, she saw they were still moving earth across from her gate… She didn’t spare it a single glance.

However, that night after dinner, Mu Wanyao sat in the three-story pavilion of her inner courtyard, fanning herself in the breeze. Her maid Chunhua brought refreshments for Her Highness, noticing that the residence opposite their princess mansion had lit up and become busy.

A maid came to report: “Your Highness, Second Young Master Yan has just returned to his residence. He says he wants to thank Your Highness for the help at the temple today and has come to pay his respects.”

Mu Wanyao leaned against the railing, casually saying: “No need for respect, I didn’t help with anything. Tell him to go back.”

The maid said: “Second Young Master Yan brought tea…”

Mu Wanyao said lazily: “Return it, my princess’s residence doesn’t lack tea.”

The maid withdrew.

Chunhua remained standing behind Mu Wanyao, observing the princess’s expression for a while before hesitantly saying: “Your Highness, I would like to request leave.”

Mu Wanyao looked over: “What’s the matter?”

Chunhua said: “My brother and sister-in-law have come to settle in Chang’an, and my elderly mother has come too. I’d like to help them.”

Mu Wanyao nodded: “I understand.”

Chunhua thanked the princess, and seeing that Mu Wanyao was still sitting there staring absently at the brightly lit residence across from them, Chunhua hesitated for a long time before deciding to show concern for the princess: “What’s wrong, Your Highness?”

Mu Wanyao asked in surprise: “What do you mean ‘what’s wrong’?”

Chunhua: “Since returning this afternoon, Your Highness hasn’t been yourself. Usually when Second Young Master Yan comes to pay respects, if Your Highness is free, you would see him. Today you wouldn’t see him. Not seeing him is one thing, but Your Highness is sitting here watching the residence across the way… Your servant doesn’t understand.”

Mu Wanyao remained silent.

In the evening breeze, her profile was like jade, breathtakingly beautiful. Yet beneath that beautiful exterior lay a heart encased in ice.

Chunhua knelt beside Mu Wanyao, feeling some pity for the princess.

She remembered when she first came to serve the Princess of Danyang, she had been afraid, having heard that nobles didn’t treat servants as people. But Chunhua quickly set aside her fears, because her mistress, Mu Wanyao, was truly a gentle young princess.

She wouldn’t beat or scold servants, and would chat with them like friends; even when she went for her political marriage, she released most of her servants, unwilling to let them suffer in Wuman with her…

But that was all in the past.

Now everyone thought the Princess of Danyang had an awful temper, constantly unpredictable. Who in Chang’an knew about the brutal night when Mu Wanyao led them in fighting their way out of Wuman, who knew about the fire Mu Wanyao had personally set in Wuman?

The Princess of Danyang wasn’t clever enough to plot and scheme, but her care for those around her was unique in Chunhua’s experience. Her Highness had such a gentle spirit, yet they didn’t know it.

Kneeling beside Mu Wanyao’s skirts, Chunhua said softly: “Your Highness, I have followed you for so many years. You can tell me anything. Even if your servant can’t help, it would be good for Your Highness to express your feelings.”

Mu Wanyao lowered her eyes to look at Chunhua.

She was somewhat surprised and somewhat amused: “What, you think I’m upset?”

Chunhua looked at her quietly.

Mu Wanyao’s slight smile faded, her eyes narrowed, and her expression became blank.

Just when Chunhua thought Mu Wanyao wouldn’t say anything, Mu Wanyao’s low, hoarse voice drifted in the night breeze: “It’s nothing major, I just envy the people around Yan Shang.”

Chunhua half-understood.

Mu Wanyao added with self-mockery: “Then I suddenly realized that to him, I’m neither special nor unique.”

Chunhua: “What does Your Highness mean?”

Mu Wanyao said: “He never writes to me, never asks about my injuries. He doesn’t care if I sleep well at night, and doesn’t ask what I’ve been busy with. He’s like a wooden post—I poke him, he moves. If I don’t poke him, he might as well be dead.

“Before in Lingnan, he would at least show some concern for me, occasionally sending things, making me laugh.

“Now in Chang’an, from when he arrived in February until now, nearly May… In these three months, I’ve barely seen him a few times. I complained that he didn’t come to pay his respects, so he came to pay his respects; I complained that he didn’t speak, so he spoke. I thought that was just how he was, but this afternoon I discovered he’s only cold toward me—to others, he’s exceptionally kind.”

Chunhua was silent for a while before saying softly: “Doesn’t Your Highness understand Second Young Master Yan’s difficulties?”

Mu Wanyao’s lips curved up in self-mockery.

She said: “I know, he’s trying to avoid suspicion. He’s afraid that if he shows too much concern for me, I’ll develop feelings for him; afraid that if he’s too kind to me, our relationship will become complicated; afraid that if he visits the princess’s residence too often, people will think he’s trying to curry favor with the princess. It is indeed difficult for him—he must avoid offending me while also preventing any misunderstandings.

“He tells me he cares about me, yet also makes it clear this is just a concern between friends, between ruler and subject, nothing more. He’s so skillful at maintaining this delicate balance, this difficult situation, that I can’t help but sympathize with him and praise his technique.”

Chunhua fell silent again.

Then softly asked: “Isn’t this for the best?”

Mu Wanyao said: “Actually, it is fine. I have no designs on him, and I hope he has no other thoughts either. It’s just that I… I just…”

She gazed into the quiet night, at the residence across the way shrouded in evening mist, lightly covering her face with her fan, leaving only her eyes visible.

Mu Wanyao said in a low voice: “I’m just so jealous of those people he can treat well without any reservations.

“I envy Yan Xiaozhou—how can she be so lucky to have such a brother as Yan Shang? A brother who writes to her every day, asking if she’s eating well, sleeping well, if there’s anything she wants or likes. A brother who thinks of her constantly, sending her fabric today, and snacks tomorrow. If Yan Xiaozhou says she doesn’t like something, her brother never sends it again.

“He writes to Yan Xiaozhou night after night, meaningless content really, but they write so happily. He tells his sister stories, talks about Chang’an customs, and says that once things are settled on his end, he’ll bring his sister to live here… Why is he so good to Yan Xiaozhou?”

Chunhua answered softly: “Because she’s his sister.”

Mu Wanyao: “Why can’t I be his sister? I’m a princess of Great Wei, why don’t I have a brother who treats me so well?”

Chunhua had no words.

When the Second Prince was still alive, he had treated Her Highness well… but after the Second Prince died, everything changed.

The empress changed, the emperor changed… everyone around the Princess of Danyang was either using her or waiting to use her. There were no pure relationships left around the Princess of Danyang, which must be why Mu Wanyao envied the people around Second Young Master Yan.

To comfort the princess, Chunhua said against her better judgment: “…Perhaps Second Young Master Yan is just trying to build a reputation.”

Mu Wanyao: “But he doesn’t try to build a reputation with me.”

She mocked herself: “Am I asking too much, being too unreasonable?”

Chunhua held back tears: “How is hoping someone will treat you well unreasonable?”

The maid knelt at the princess’s feet, crying sorrowfully, her heart aching for the princess.

People always say the emperor is alone.

But now, how was Mu Wanyao any different from being alone?

No friends, no family. Looking around, all she saw were enemies. In the vast city of Chang’an, Mu Wanyao trusted no one.

After grieving for the princess for a while, Chunhua wiped her tears and decided in her heart. Her heart pounding, she held the princess’s hand and asked: “Then what does Your Highness truly want from Second Young Master Yan?”

Mu Wanyao didn’t understand Chunhua’s words and lowered her eyes to look at her maid: “What do you mean?”

Chunhua boldly suggested for the first time: “If Your Highness only wants to… to sleep with Second Young Master Yan, that would be easy enough—just drug him. After all, he’s right next door now.”

Mu Wanyao was startled, raised her eyelids, and considered it seriously.

Then shook her head: “It’s not just about sleeping together. I want him to always treat me well. His temperament is too good—I wish I had someone like that by my side. I covet how he could treat me that way.”

Chunhua’s heart sank.

She thought this was not a good sign.

What Her Highness wanted seemed to be growing…

Chunhua said: “But Your Highness won’t marry him.”

Mu Wanyao made a sound of agreement: “That’s right.”

In the quiet night, Chunhua said softly: “This is difficult then.”

Mu Wanyao repeated listlessly: “That’s right.”

After a long silence, Mu Wanyao heard Chunhua’s very soft voice: “Your Highness… this isn’t good. Better a short pain than a long one. Your Highness should try to end it. Better than being hurt later.”

With her eyes closed, Mu Wanyao’s eyelashes trembled slightly. Her breath brushed against the feather fan covering her face. For a long while, Chunhua didn’t hear her speak.

Chunhua sighed softly, and as she stood up, she finally heard Mu Wanyao say quietly after the long silence: “I’ll try.”

Chunhua’s eyes grew hot as she looked down at the princess curled up like a child in its mother’s embrace. Mu Wanyao lay with her eyes closed, turned away, her silhouette thin and fragile.

Having glimpsed the face of love, she retreated in fear and gave up.

Chunhua knew this would be difficult… but as a princess who had been married off before, she truly didn’t have the luxury of being willful.

Being able to control her emotions freely would be best for Mu Wanyao—

Mu Wanyao was indeed capable of being a cold-hearted princess.

Having said she would try, in the following days, she truly never asked about Second Young Master Yan again, never sat in the pavilion watching the residence across the way.

Yan Shang went to the Hongwen Academy daily, while Mu Wanyao attended banquets daily, met with officials daily, and met with the Crown Prince daily. Though they lived on the same street, they managed not to cross paths even once.

Mu Wanyao returned to being that emotionless, cold princess from before—

At dusk, it began to rain. Yan Shang left the Hongwen Academy and stood in the corridor, sighing as he watched the rain.

Chang’an had frequent rain, but this morning when he left home the sky had been clear, so Yan Shang forgot to bring an umbrella. Who knew it would start raining in the evening?

He was now the only one left at the Hongwen Academy, making it difficult even to borrow an umbrella. So Yan Shang stood in the corridor watching the rain, waiting for it to lighten.

As he waited for the rain to stop, gazing at the downpour between heaven and earth, his mind couldn’t help but wander to past events.

He thought about how his several encounters with Mu Wanyao had all been in the rain.

The first time he saw Mu Wanyao in the heavy rain at Meiguan Ancient Road, who would have known that proud young woman sitting there fanning herself was the famous Princess of Danyang?

As they got to know each other longer, their connection seemed to always involve rain, as if wrapped in a layer of misty fog…

Thinking of this, Yan Shang’s lips couldn’t help but curve into a slight smile. But he quickly came back to himself, his thoughts drifting to other matters.

He thought about how he hadn’t seen Mu Wanyao since the start of May.

Sometimes when he went to pay his respects, the people at the princess’s residence would say the princess wasn’t there. He didn’t know why she wouldn’t see him… had he done something wrong?

Yan Shang recalled their last meeting, carefully sifting through it, but couldn’t think of anything unusual that had happened that day.

Could it be because he had asked “Have you never kissed before?” But she wasn’t the type to hold a grudge over something like that for so long… she was a little princess who held grudges often but forgot them quickly.

As Yan Shang’s thoughts wandered in the rain, he suddenly heard the sound of an approaching carriage.

He narrowed his eyes, looking toward the misty twilight rain where an ornate-covered carriage slowly approached. Seeing such a luxuriously decorated carriage, Yan Shang’s heart skipped a beat, and he developed some strange thoughts.

Could it be… could it be Mu Wanyao?

Did she know he was stranded at the Hongwen Academy and come to pick him up?

This inappropriate hope made his heart pound, filling him with uncertainty. Yan Shang stood frozen in place, telling himself he must be overthinking it, how could it possibly be her?

Yet another voice in his mind said, why couldn’t it be? She was exactly the type of person who acted tough but had a soft heart. She was exactly the type to do something unexpected like this.

The carriage stopped in front of the Hongwen Academy.

Yan Shang stood even more rigidly, watching the carriage stopped, unsure whether he should board it, unsure how to face Mu Wanyao after not seeing her for so long… until a woman’s voice called from within: “Why is Young Master Yan still here?”

This wasn’t Mu Wanyao’s voice.

Yan Shang instantly sobered.

Looking closer, he examined the carriage—the driver was someone he’d never seen before. As the curtain lifted, he saw the face of a beautiful woman with a mature charm.

Not Mu Wanyao.

Suppressing that inexplicable disappointment in his heart, Yan Shang bowed: “So it’s Princess Imperial.”

The Princess Imperial of Luling leaned against the carriage window, looking at the young man standing in the rain, seeing his slender form like bamboo, his wide sleeves wet with rain. The Princess Imperial’s eyes dimmed as she smiled and said: “Young Master Yan, why so formal? Are you trapped in the rain? Why not get in the carriage? I’ll give you a ride.”

Yan Shang replied politely: “I wouldn’t dare trouble Your Highness. I can wait a while longer at the Hongwen Academy…”

Princess Imperial: “Young Master Yan, in such heavy rain, how long will you wait? Come into the carriage. I happen to have some things I’d like to ask you.”

Yan Shang paused briefly.

He remembered Feng Xianyu telling him to be careful of the Princess Imperial of Luling. Yan Shang thought that if he truly had any potential conflict with Princess Imperial, it would be about the matter of the third-ranked scholar position being replaced that day… Yan Shang didn’t want to offend the Princess Imperial, and if there was a chance to clear up this matter, that would be good too.

So Yan Shang lifted his robes and entered the carriage, saying softly: “This humble official respectfully accepts your command.”

The Princess Imperial laughed lightly: “Young Master Yan, I just love how gentle and considerate you are.”

She lounged lazily, lighting some incense in the carriage brazier, waving her hand gently to let the fragrance spread throughout the carriage—

That evening, as rain covered the city, just as Yan Shang boarded the Princess Imperial’s carriage, Mu Wanyao’s carriage slowly entered the alley, heading toward the princess’s residence.

She had just returned from the Crown Prince’s place and sat in her carriage, deep in thought about recent court matters. Mu Wanyao had just learned that the Ministry of Revenue under the Crown Prince’s management was short of money again… this situation now had everyone at an impasse.

Yet what was the Crown Prince doing? Why did he need so much money?

If she could help the Crown Prince resolve this matter, wouldn’t her position rise?

As she pondered these things, a guard lifted the window outside: “Your Highness, there’s another carriage stopped ahead.”

Mu Wanyao instinctively thought it was Yan Shang.

Because on this street, besides the princess’s residence, there was only his residence.

But Yan Shang was poor—how could he suddenly afford a carriage?

Mu Wanyao didn’t want to see Yan Shang and was about to order her carriage to back up and give way to Yan Shang’s when a young man’s cold voice came from outside: “Your Highness.”

It was Wei Shu’s voice.

Mu Wanyao lifted the carriage curtain to see servants holding umbrellas and Wei Shu, cold as snow, standing in the rain, bowing to her.

The carriage ahead was Wei Shu’s, not Yan Shang’s.

Mu Wanyao was annoyed at guessing wrong. She hadn’t seen Wei Shu for a long time either, and her eyes couldn’t help but brighten. Who wouldn’t like such an elegant, handsome young man?

Mu Wanyao smiled: “Has Juyuan come to see me? Stay at the residence for dinner.”

Wei Shu was startled for a moment.

Then said: “I came to see Brother Yan. Brother Yan has moved to a new home, and this is my first visit. I didn’t expect it to be opposite Your Highness’s residence.”

Mu Wanyao: “…Oh.”

Wei Shu standing in the rain and Mu Wanyao sitting in the carriage stared at each other.

Wei Shu looked up at the princess in confusion.

He wasn’t someone who knew how to handle situations and didn’t understand the princess’s current awkwardness. Since the princess didn’t speak, he just silently looked on, unable to smooth things over as Yan Shang could…

With no one to ease the situation, Mu Wanyao felt extremely embarrassed and angrily dropped the curtain, no longer acknowledging Wei Shu.

Brother Yan.

Such an intimate way of addressing him… perhaps too intimate.