Little Yan Bao never quite believed his parents were in love.

Xiao Pang said if you stayed up very, very late, you could see Dad and Mom kiss. But he had never seen it, so he was determined to stay up very, very late until he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore, yet Yan Xi and Ah Heng still hadn’t kissed.

But they were very good to him. They always watched him with smiles, continuously watching him, not looking at each other. Every time he wouldn’t eat carrots and played hide-and-seek with Dad around the dining table until Dad got angry, Dad would only raise his hand as if to hit him, but when it came down, he’d just pinch his cheek and resignedly eat the vegetables he left. Every time Mom taught him to write characters, and he deliberately smeared ink all over her face and clothes, Mom would always just patiently hold his hand and continue writing.

As a four-year-old boy, little Yan Bao was very sad. He felt his parents were only enduring each other to give him a complete family.

He was anxious, though no one knew why a four-year-old boy would be anxious, but his little figure still left this impression on the kindergarten teachers.

On the first day, when the boys and girls were playing tug-of-war, oh-yo oh-yo, baby Yan stared dejectedly at Snow White in the fairy tale book illustrations.

On the second day, when the boys and girls were having snacks, me-me-me-me-me, baby Yan stared dejectedly at Cinderella in the fairy tale book illustrations.

On the third day, when the middle-class boys and big-class boys had a group fight, ya-ya fighting-fighting, baby Yan stared dejectedly at the fallen Xiao Pang, who claimed his parents kissed.

On the fourth day, Mr. Yan was called to the kindergarten.

“Why did you hit the other child?” Mr. Yan had especially worn black-rimmed glasses without a prescription, trying to look as mature and kind as possible while asking his son.

Baby Yan hung his head, sniffling, not speaking.

Mr. Yan frowned and apologized to Xiao Pang’s mother: “I’m sorry, Mrs. Zhang. I’m truly sorry about today. I will properly educate him when we get home.”

Mrs. Zhang was very upset: “My Xiao Pang, at home, neither his father nor I would ever lay a finger on him, yet at school, he gets beaten by your child. How are you raising your child? So uncivilized!”

A cold light flashed in Mr. Yan’s eyes, but he suppressed his temper and spoke gently: “Not just you, we’ve never hit our child at home either. As you can see, not only does Xiao Pang have injuries on his face, but my son has scratch marks too. This is just a quarrel between children, please don’t take it too seriously.”

Mrs. Zhang became even angrier hearing this: “Oh really, fine, let’s go find the principal. My husband just donated a building to the kindergarten before the New Year. If your son doesn’t apologize today, I’ll have the principal expel him!”

Mr. Yan showed his helplessness, coughing slightly: “Mrs. Zhang, the children are young, let’s not teach them this kind of behavior.”

Baby Yan pouted: “I won’t apologize. I didn’t do anything wrong. I absolutely won’t apologize!”

Mrs. Zhang flew into a rage: “Let’s go, let’s go, today I must have the principal give justice. If your son isn’t expelled, my son won’t stay here anymore!”

Mr. Yan took off his glasses, his big eyes clear and bright, smiling slightly: “Are you sure?”

When the principal sent the demon lord father and son pair off, she broke out in a cold sweat.

Mrs. Zhang burst into tears: “I’ll fight you all today, we donated a building to you, and now, wuwuwu, you’re bullying us mother and son just because he looks good.”

The principal’s face darkened – apart from your one building, all the others were donated by their family…

Mr. Yan picked up his son and dumped him on the sofa at home, speaking coldly: “Start reflecting now, or else, we’re having takeout today!”

Baby Yan pressed his index fingers together, pouting, and finally raised his big eyes after a long while: “I hate you, bad Yan Xi, I hate you, bad Yan Xi, bad Yan Xi, when Ah Heng’s not home, you bully me, I hate you!”

Mr. Yan smiled coldly: “Very well, no takeout, we’re having instant noodles.”

Baby Yan’s tiny body stood up on the sofa, head held high: “It wasn’t my fault at all, why should I reflect? Xiao Pang pulled my hair too, I didn’t cry, he was just pretending!”

Mr. Yan took off his suit jacket, glancing at him flatly: “Fine, no instant noodles either. You just sit here, and when you understand, come find me in the studio.”

Then he turned away.

Baby Yan threw the sofa cushion hard at his dad’s back, bursting into tears: “I know, you don’t want me anymore, and you don’t want Ah Heng anymore, you don’t love me at all, Xiao Pang said you never kiss Ah Heng, you’re going to find me a stepmother!”

Mr. Yan paused for a moment, took a long stride, didn’t even look at his son, and walked toward the study.

Baby Yan started crying, crying while sitting, crying while walking, crying while lying down, crying while rolling around, his voice getting louder and louder, his tear-filled big eyes staring at the study, but the study door remained tightly shut without any movement. Finally, when he couldn’t cry anymore, he climbed onto the tea table using a stool to call his mom, pressing the buttons: “Ah Heng Ah Heng Ah Heng, I wasn’t born from Yan Xi, right?”

Mrs. Yan was in a meeting, ducked under the conference table, reflexively responding: “Mm, you indeed weren’t born from him.”

Baby Yan sobbed a few times: “I knew it, I’m going to find my real father.”

“Ah, hello, hello?”

Baby Yan hung up the phone, packed his toys, shouldered his backpack, and slammed the door hard.

Mr. Yan drew for a while, sighed, and called Wen Yan’er.

Little Yan was crying his heart out in his grandmother’s arms when he saw his uncle crouching in front of him with a moving rabbit toy, speaking in a muffled voice: “I’m a little rabbit, baby, shall we play a game?”

Little Bao continued sniffling in his grandmother’s arms: “What game?”

Si Wan controlled the rabbit and spoke: “Let’s find all the bad women who kissed your father, how about that?”

Little Bao blinked his big eyes: “How do we find them?”

Si Wan smiled: “When he was nineteen, the first girl he kissed had something buried under the big tree in your garden.”

Little Bao ran back home, and dug with his toy shovel under the tree for a long time, finally finding an iron box. He hugged it out and opened it, finding a yellowed diary still smelling of earth inside.

Si Wan walked up to him: “Baby, want uncle to read it to you?”

“But Ah Heng said reading other people’s diaries is bad behavior.”

“It’s okay if it’s you, I think she won’t mind.”

Si Wan opened the diary.

“January 10, 2002, Snow. Today is my birthday, Yan Xi got drunk. The snow outside is so heavy, he kissed me in this cold season.”

“January 10, 2003, Cloudy. Today is my birthday, Yan Xi said on TV that he wants to be buried in that scenic place later. I think I can’t die before him, this way, I can watch over him at his grave.”

“January 10, 2004, Snow. Today is my birthday again, his song on TV was so beautiful but as beautiful as it was, it wasn’t sung for me.”

“January 10, 2005, Snow. Today, I forced Yan Xi to kiss my lips. Sigh.”

“January 10, 2006, Snow. Today, when meeting Lu Mojun, the man at the next table looked like him.”

“January 10, 2007, Snow. When Yan Xi kissed me, he didn’t remember it was my birthday. I wonder, why he only kisses me in winter, why always on my birthday? Because it’s too coincidental because not every season is winter, not every day is my birthday.”

Little Bao looked at his uncle confusedly, asking: “Who is she, why does Yan Xi always kiss her?”

Si Wan smiled: “Shh, the game isn’t over. Next, you need to find another woman. She was only fifteen when she met your father, but this woman was more impressive. This time, your father secretly loved her for a long time but didn’t dare speak up.”

“How do we find her?”

“Your father keeps her things on his bedside table.”

When Little Bao sneaked back home, the studio door was still tightly shut.

He tiptoed to the second floor but saw Si Er standing in front of the master bedroom. The little one was confused: “Auntie, why are you here?”

Si Er held a little lion doll, pinching her nose saying: “I’m the little lion who’s playing the game with you. Here’s a hint, the bad woman is hidden in the candy jar.” Mr. Yan had a candy jar, all the candy Little Bao ate came from his father.

Little Bao crouched down and opened his father’s bedside table.

The candy jar was made of crystal, with a photo embedded inside.

The photo showed flickering candles and “Happy Birthday” written in cream.

Little Bao saw this photo many times every day, but this was the first time he discovered the jar could be opened and the photo removed. Behind the photo were several lines of text.

He brought it to Si Er: “Is this it, Auntie?”

Si Er looked at the words behind the photo and read softly: “The girl I photographed is Yan Xi’s greatest love. No one cared for her, she followed me since she was fifteen, I pitied her and treated her like family, but never expected that in the winter of 2001, I had already developed such deep affection for this girl, wanting to kiss her every moment, yet she remained oblivious. And I, though aware, was shocked and unwilling to admit it. Afterward, two human disasters, one a vast chasm, one an abyss close at hand, every time her birthday comes, I ache to my bones, beyond remedy. Others hope Yan Xi would choose another woman, but no matter how good other women are, they’re not my foolish girl, what can be done? From now on, I only wish that every birthday, she can be by my side, sharing a bottle of wine with me, eating from one jar of sweetness, most intimate yet most distant. Written by Yan Xi in 2008.”

Little Bao’s face fell: “Who is this woman? Yan Xi wants to kiss her.”

Si Er smiled: “Little precious, go find your father, let him tell you.”

Baby Yan hugged the diary and photo and turned the studio door handle.

Yan Xi turned around, looked at his son, smiled, and put down his brush.

But Baby Yan sobbed, pouting: “I hate you, you’ve kissed many bad women but never kissed Ah Heng, I hate you.”

Yan Xi raised an eyebrow: “The diary woman and the photo woman, right?”

Baby Yan glared with those eyes that took up half his face: “Who are they, why did you marry Ah Heng, why did you have me, why didn’t you marry them and have other baby boys?”

Yan Xi pulled off the white cloth that had just been covering a huge oil painting. With the summer breeze blowing, in a field full of sunflowers, the woman in the painting held a soundly sleeping baby, her expression and smile vivid and lifelike.

Mr. Yan pinched Little Bao’s nose and smiled: “The diary woman’s surname is Wen, the photo woman I call Ah Heng, and they’re the same person as the woman in the painting. Do you understand now, silly boy?”

Little Bao wrinkled his nose, and after a long while, finally blinked and threw himself into Yan Xi’s arms: “Yan Xi, you love Ah Heng, right? Yan Xi, you love me too, right?”

Yan Xi held his son up and examined him for a while, then burst out laughing inappropriately: “Who did you get this stupidity from?”

“Ah Heng said I wasn’t born from you.”

“Nonsense, how could I give birth? Of course, you were born from Ah Heng.”

“You and Ah Heng never look at each other.”

“Even if I don’t look at your mother, I know where she is, what she’s doing. We’ve been dependent on each other since we were very young, she’s already become part of my body.”

“You and Ah Heng only look at me.”

“Though I don’t know what your mom thinks, but if you weren’t born from her, I guarantee I wouldn’t look at you twice…”

“But, but, you and Ah Heng never kiss, I stayed up very very late and still didn’t see you kiss.”

“Son, when you say very very late, do you mean 8:30 PM?”