HomeIn the MoonlightChapter 157: Seeking Nothing

Chapter 157: Seeking Nothing

Li Zhongqian patiently discussed official matters with Yaoying for a while, then jerked his chin, asking: “Who’s the person in the inner room?”

Yaoying’s eyes rolled slightly, saying: “He’s the one who saved Brother at Asad Fort.”

Li Zhongqian was taken aback, “That guard called Abi?”

Yaoying shook her head: “Brother, he’s not a guard, he’s a friend of mine. When we reach the Holy City, I’ll tell you his identity.”

Li Zhongqian was about to get up to visit the person who had saved him, but hearing this, his steps halted, then his brows furrowed, his expression growing more vigilant.

When he was in danger at Asad Fort, facing a rain of arrows, this masked man had risked his life to save him, then advised him, telling him to wait for Mobituo’s rescue forces. From his speech and behavior, the masked man indeed didn’t seem like an ordinary guard, but more like a commander leading armies in battle. After annihilating the Northern Rong remnants, he saw Yaoying ask Mobituo about the masked man’s injuries, Mobituo said the person had left, and her expression had been somewhat strange then, standing in the corridor for a long time.

Now this masked man appearing in Yaoying’s room showed they had known each other for some time, the masked man’s sudden appearance at Asad Fort was to save him, Yaoying’s brother.

Yaoying said the man was her friend…

Their relationship wasn’t simple.

Li Zhongqian’s phoenix eyes narrowed slightly, frowning as he examined the man in the inner room, his gaze carrying a trace of scrutiny.

This masked man had exceptional martial arts skills, rode thousands of miles, wounded yet angrily beheading enemies at the front lines, both brave and strategic, calm in crisis, but his temperament was too reserved, silent and taciturn, and always keeping his face covered, his appearance unknown… hearing him speak with Mobituo and the others in the Hu language, he should be a Hu person.

Li Zhongqian stroked his chin, wanting to look a few more times, when Yaoying stood up and pulled him outside.

“Brother, he’s recovering from injuries.”

Li Zhongqian’s brows furrowed tighter, feeling inexplicably annoyed, questioning in a low voice: “Does he have to recover in the same room as you? You’re not a doctor!”

Yaoying smiled sweetly, shaking his arm: “He can’t let people recognize him now, staying with me is more discreet, and besides, he saved you, Brother, for your sake, I must take good care of him.”

Li Zhongqian’s eyes slanted upward, and he rubbed her head, feeling somewhat better.

In the inner room, Tanmoluojia opened his eyes, looking toward the direction of the siblings, his jade eyes as cold as dead water.

The next day, Yaoying no longer followed Bisuo, but joined up with the delegation, heading toward the Holy City together.

Li Zhongqian reminded Yaoying: “Since you can’t appear in public, there’s no need to go see the Buddhist son when we reach the Holy City, I’ll handle all matters.”

He didn’t want Yaoying to have any more contact with the royal court’s Buddhist son, if it weren’t for considering that the peculiar Li Xuanzhen had come to Gaochang, he wouldn’t have agreed to let Yaoying accompany him on this mission to the royal court.

Yaoying blinked, giving a vague agreement.

On the journey, she shared a carriage with Tanmoluojia, and at night they stayed in the same room.

Perhaps because he was taking more and more pills, he became even more silent than before, his aura cold and severe, speaking as little as possible.

Yaoying didn’t disturb him, earlier in the valley she had talked too much with him, speaking until her voice nearly went hoarse, afterward her cough hadn’t improved, and Li Zhongqian had asked about it several times. These days she quietly recovered, also trying to speak less.

Li Zhongqian had wanted to investigate Tanmoluojia’s identity, and see what kind of person he was, but couldn’t find any chance to talk with him, leaving him wondering.

This man was excessively dignified, could he be very old?

Whatever the case, still better than that royal court Buddhist son.

Li Zhongqian thought secretly.

With the Northern Rong’s great defeat, there was a universal celebration, the royal court’s people all celebrating the victory.

This day they arrived at the Holy City, where a grand singing and dancing festival was being held, stages set up along the main street, colored canopies extending for miles, performers in colorful clothes and flower crowns singing and dancing on stage, performing acrobatics, crowds of spectators below, extremely lively.

Yaoying leaned against the carriage window, watching the gracefully dancing performers on stage with interest for a while when a guard came to report: “The royal court’s ceremonial officials have come, Young Master needs to follow them to the royal temple to pay respects to the Buddhist son.”

She glanced at Tanmoluojia sitting cross-legged in the corner, nodding, “Tell Brother I’ve gone to the silk shop, if there’s anything, send someone there with a message, if it’s urgent, the falcon keeper knows what to do.”

The delegation stayed at the guesthouse, they weren’t staying together.

As chief envoy, Li Zhongqian not only had to formally present the state letter and gifts of gratitude, telling the royal court that Wei had recovered all prefectures, but also needed to discuss trade and exchange of envoys between the two countries. As for other matters, they could be set aside, but regarding trade, neither side wanted to let the other take advantage, and disputes would be inevitable.

When discussions reached an impasse, they would need clever merchants to smooth things over and mediate conflicts. Merchants had extensive connections, maintaining close relations with both royal court nobles and tribes.

If they still couldn’t reach an agreement, they would have to shelve the matter for now. Currently, the urgent task for all regions and prefectures was to stabilize the situation and restore production, other matters could wait.

The guard acknowledged.

The group separated at the gate tower, but the carriage didn’t go to the silk shop as Yaoying had said, instead turning into a small alley.

Soon after, Yuanjue came to meet them, after Yaoying left Gaochang, he returned to the Holy City, riding day and night, arriving two days before Yaoying and Li Zhongqian.

They entered the royal temple through a secret passage, Bisuo, and the doctor were already waiting, everything prepared.

On the return journey, Tanmoluojia’s eyes had grown increasingly dark, his whole body tense, emanating a cold murderous air, clearly having some trouble controlling his martial arts.

Bisuo recalled General Saisang’er whom the Master had mentioned, secretly alarmed, when General Saisang’er had finally gone mad from cultivation, he had been like this too.

Tanmoluojia removed his mask and headscarf, walking past him, jade eyes looking toward him.

Bisuo’s hair stood on end, trembling.

Tanmoluojia’s expression was blank, his eyes sweeping toward the doctor not far away.

The doctor was talking with Yaoying, Yaoying pointing at porcelain bottles one by one, asking about the precautions for each medicine, what to watch for when Tanmoluojia dispersed his power, and how to take care of him normally.

Bisuo understood, hurriedly saying: “King, I will look after Princess Wenzhao well.”

Tanmoluojia’s peripheral vision watched Yaoying, his eyes without a ripple.

He should send her away.

When entering the city, she had been eagerly watching the singing and dancing on the high stage. She had said before, that she was a mundane person, enjoying the bustle of mortal life, she had been in danger, with no heart for pleasure, now she had reunited with Li Zhongqian, she should enjoy herself properly.

She was so young, in the spring of youth.

Yaoying happened to look up, feeling Tanmoluojia’s gaze, looking toward him.

After a moment of eye contact, she smiled at him.

Tanmoluojia withdrew his gaze.

When deciding to leave, she had left decisively, as if forgetting him entirely. Deciding to return, she had also returned decisively.

She already knew his feelings, he would no longer deny them to her.

But he understood, he could give her nothing.

Now her feelings toward him must be more gratitude and pity than love, when she cared for someone, she did so wholeheartedly, knowing he had saved her brother and his injuries had worsened, naturally she would return to care for him.

Once he recovered, she could leave.

Tanmoluojia turned and walked into the secret chamber.

Bisuo led Yaoying to wait outside.

“Princess, please rest here first, I’ll have someone bring you something to eat,” Bisuo said.

Yaoying asked: “What about the delegation?”

Bisuo smiled, saying: “These matters will be taken care of, your country’s envoys won’t be neglected.”

He walked out, and soon after, guards brought roasted lamb sprinkled with salt, na and bean soup, and crispy flatbread.

Yaoying had set out at dawn today, exhausted, she ate a little and dozed off leaning against the couch, in her drowsiness feeling something uncomfortable under the soft pillow pressing against her forehead, she reached under the pillow, feeling something wrapped up.

Her fingers felt sticky.

Hadn’t anyone cleaned the room?

Yaoying startled awake, sitting up straight, turning over the soft pillow.

Under the pillow was a crumpled handkerchief, who knows how long it had been there, the bottom slightly stained with color.

Yaoying froze, looking around, realizing this was the place she had visited last time.

Also, the place where she had confirmed Tanmoluojia had developed feelings for her.

Her throat tightened as she slowly unwrapped the handkerchief.

After so many days, the sand-fine honey fruit had congealed into a mass, stuck firmly to the handkerchief, no longer edible.

Yaoying stared at the handkerchief in her palm, lost in thought for a while.

Footsteps sounded, and Bisuo entered the room, seeing her lost in thought with the handkerchief, his eyes flickering.

Yaoying came back to herself, tucked away the handkerchief, placing it back under the pillow as it had been.

Bisuo didn’t ask anything, cupping his hands to her, saying: “The doctor just said, the King being able to hold on until returning to the Holy City must be due to the Princess’s proper care, thank you for your trouble.”

Yaoying’s brows furrowed slightly: “After I left last time, did Master’s condition worsen?”

Bisuo hesitated, then said: “To be honest with the Princess… the King has practiced this martial art for many years, each time exercising or dispersing power carries risk, his injuries recurring, water grass can alleviate it, but ultimately can’t control it. After the Princess left last time, the King’s condition did indeed worsen.”

After careful consideration, he added, “The doctor said, if the Princess could often keep the King company, the King’s mood would be better, and he could recover faster.”

Yaoying looked toward the secret chamber: “With me by his side, his mood would be better?”

Bisuo thought, then said: “Princess, in the royal court, besides you, no one can speak with the King that way, nor can anyone sit from morning to night reading by the King’s desk.”

Yaoying pondered, making a sound of acknowledgment.

Bisuo looked at her, seeming to want to speak but hesitating, after a moment, asked: “Princess… that day…”

Yaoying smiled, “Are you wondering what happened in the valley that day? Why does Master no longer hide his identity from me? You’re afraid I’ll force Master to return to secular life?”

An embarrassed look passed over Bisuo’s face.

“Don’t worry, Master is the royal court’s Buddhist son,” Yaoying said, “Master admitted his feelings for me, nothing more.”

Even as Sudan Gu, faced her response, he had only placed a barely-there kiss on the top of her head, then directly tore away his disguise, making her give up hope completely.

She hadn’t planned to expose his identity then, wanting to spend a few more days with him as Sudan Gu, but he hadn’t given her the chance.

His decisiveness and frankness made her heart ache more.

As Yaoying spoke, a faint smile appeared on her lips, like lustrous pearls, clear and bright.

Bisuo stared at her blankly: “What does the Princess seek in returning?”

“I told you, I just want to make Master feel better.”

“If…” Bisuo gritted his teeth, “the King’s heart demon is the Princess, if only by truly having the Princess, tasting the flavor of love, could the King achieve great enlightenment, casting aside all distracting thoughts, would the Princess be willing to help him?”

Yaoying’s expression was calm.

Her answer was obvious.

Bisuo was silent for a while: “The King is the believers’ faith, even if he’s no longer the royal court’s king, he’s still the Buddhist son, he can’t return to secular life.”

Yaoying said flatly: “I’ve said, I don’t ask him to return to secular life, once he’s better, I’ll leave.”

Bisuo’s eyes widened: “Princess is Han… I’ve heard Han people place great importance on propriety… Princess making such a sacrifice, without name or status, ultimately gaining nothing, not even being acknowledged by the King… what will Princess do in the future?”

Yaoying laughed: “Propriety means nothing to me, I don’t care about others’ views.”

She recalled her jokes with Xie Qing before, waving her hand, making light of it, “In the future, I can keep male companions.”

Bisuo’s eye twitched, he had almost forgotten, there were so many who wanted to be the Princess’s admirers, a beauty like the Princess, wealthy and the Western Army’s leader, no matter how many romantic affairs she had, there would be no shortage of admirers.

But for a woman, her reputation would certainly be ruined, no matter how high her status, as long as she didn’t conform to propriety, she would be ridiculed as wanton.

Bisuo cared about Tanmoluojia’s health, selfishly hoping Yaoying could accompany him, but also not wanting Luojia to be criticized by others because of Yaoying, so when Yaoying returned, he felt both relieved and somewhat worried.

He had feared Yaoying would force Luojia to return to secular life.

Unexpectedly, Yaoying asked for nothing, she was good to Luojia, seeking no outcome.

“Princess…” Bisuo’s voice trembled, “Aren’t you afraid you’ll regret it in the future?”

Yaoying smiled, “Bisuo, you’ve played in gardens of romance, been many people’s lover, what makes you fall for a lady?”

Bisuo answered: “Because I like her appearance, enjoy talking and laughing with her…”

Yaoying let out a long breath, saying: “I’m very happy to have met Master.”

Alone for so long, desperate and helpless, sometimes she would lose heart. Suddenly meeting someone who not only saved her but matched her so well, he made her more firm in her resolve, discovering she wasn’t alone.

At that time, joy had welled up in her heart, very much wanting to say to him: So Master thinks this way too.

So there was such a person in the world, possessing everything she admired.

It’s just that they were too far apart.

If only she could have met him earlier.

Someone like Tanmoluojia, being able to meet him, to know him for a time, was already a joy.

Yaoying said slowly: “When I discovered Master had secretly saved my brother, left while injured, and I had become his heart demon… I thought for a whole night… I don’t want to see Master hurt.”

She looked directly at Bisuo.

“As for whether I’ll regret it in the future… Bisuo, I know, no matter what the outcome, when I’m old later, thinking back on this experience, remembering my decision to return, I will smile, if I hadn’t returned, there would only be regret. So, I came back for Master, and also for myself.”

Bisuo trembled, staring at her for a long while, again cupping his hands to her.

This time, with gratitude.

He was reassured now, the Princess sought nothing.

Several knocks came from outside, Yuanjue entered carrying a pile of books, all moved from the courtyard where Yaoying had stayed.

“Princess, do you have any other instructions? Is there anything else you’d like to add?”

Yaoying’s gaze swept around, waving her hand: “Bring back my usual small desk!”

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