The minor encoffining lasted three days, and the major encoffining lasted seven days, but in the end, it was all for nothing. Ru Jian did not return; his spirit had gone far away.

On the day of the funeral, the sky was dim, with occasional flakes of snow drifting down. According to the solar terms, spring had already begun, but the previous winter had never really ended, with threads of cold lingering until now.

The wind was strong, making the mourning banners flap loudly. The funeral procession was magnificent, stretching for two li. Qi people emphasized returning to one’s roots like falling leaves, so they had to send Ru Jian back to rest beside his parents.

The Wen family had been branded as criminal officials, and at that time, they were hastily buried without a proper grave enclosure. Ding Yi had been exhausted these days and couldn’t attend to too many details. After all, Prince Zhuang had not yet been officially convicted, and the Wen family was still not cleared of charges, so it wasn’t appropriate to exceed burial regulations. But upon arriving there, she discovered that the grave had already been renovated, with proper precious walls and precious top, and the tombstone had been re-engraved in her name.

She remained silent. Hong Ce stood not far from her, quiet and carefully observing her. Suddenly, she felt like crying, her heart aching unbearably. She knew he was innocent, that he was being blamed unjustly—from beginning to end, he had done nothing wrong. But what could she do? She was powerless and could accomplish nothing. She had to find someone to hate. Hating Prince Zhuang wasn’t enough; she needed to add someone closest to her, someone who loved and cared for her. Perhaps she was being presumptuous.

She stood at the edge of the grave pit looking down. It was deeper than a man’s height, so deep. Would Ru Jian be afraid lying down there? She truly couldn’t bear to part with him. Their sibling bond had been shallow, and they had only just reunited after great difficulty, but fate had played a joke, granting them merely a short year together. Giving hope and then taking it away was far crueler than despair from the beginning.

She still remembered the scenes of being with Ru Jian. When the siblings were alone, no matter what she was doing, he would always look at her with a smile, his gaze indulgent and considerate. He, too, cherished their hard-won kinship. The little moments in daily life, like when he would pick out the best food for her. Or when there was a tear in her clothes, and her needlework was unskilled, he would sit under the lamp to mend it for her. Where in the world could one find such a good brother? Unfortunately, now he was dead. She blamed herself—how could she dare to enjoy happiness? So she tormented herself, and incidentally, brought suffering to Hong Ce as well.

The burial had an auspicious time, calculated by the yin-yang master. When the time came, firecrackers were lit, and they couldn’t delay. She stared at the coffin, a fine material for longevity, lacquered who knows how many times, shining enough to reflect a person’s image. Eight people carried it, passing by her, and she tightly clutched Hai Lan’s hand. Looking at her, Hai Lan’s face was pale, her breath like a thread, intermittent. Slightly hunched, though trying hard to control herself, she trembled under the mourning clothes.

The burial was complete. Monks and Taoists chanted sutras for salvation. Amid the Sanskrit chants, Ding Yi held a handful of soil against her chest, hesitating to throw it in. It was like a hot potato—uncomfortable to hold, yet uncomfortable to throw away. She was lost and helpless, sobbing loudly, the cold wind rushing into her mouth and nose, numbing even her tongue.

“Let him rest in peace!” Hong Ce had to decide for her, softly comforting her, and guiding her to sprinkle the soil in her hand into the grave.

There were too few relatives and friends. Though those aunts and uncles had come, their presence was hardly different from absence. There was no real emotion, just a desire to associate with them. As shovel after shovel of soil filled the grave, they wailed loudly, as if competing to see whose voice was louder. Ding Yi found it grating to hear.

She stood in the northwestern wind, watching the grave being built and the tombstone erected, her heart gradually growing cold. While alive, people can be utterly false and empty, but in the end, all return to the yellow earth. The glory and humiliation of this life turn to dust—what remains afterward? After more than ten days of pain and torment, she had somewhat come to terms with it. By not thinking about it, one could find peace. She took incense to pay respects, offered a cup of wine, and bid farewell to her last blood relative.

Upon returning to Jiucu Bureau Alley, the courtyard was still the same, yet there was always a sense that it had been abandoned. The eunuchs and maids coming and going seemed like shamans performing on stage, separated by a layer of gauze, a layer of hazy light, very far away. She stood dazed, not knowing what she should do.

Sha Tong came forward with a bow, “Master is tired, go back to your room and rest! Don’t move around for now. I’ll have food and drink sent to you. You need to take good care of yourself.”

Since she had forbidden them to call her Lady, they initially called her Young Miss, but finding it awkward, they all switched to calling her Master. Seeing that she didn’t answer, Hong Ce said softly, “Let’s do as Tong suggests. I’ve taken leave for these couple of days to stay at home with you.”

She remained stubborn, turning her face away, saying it wasn’t necessary. “I want to be alone. You go back to the Prince’s Mansion.”

She forgot that he couldn’t hear, so she couldn’t drive him away. He came over to hold her hand, his eyes pitiful, “I’m also very sad about Third Brother’s death. Since what’s done is done, you need to learn to accept it. Don’t worry about the future; I will take good care of you.”

Anger blocked her throat, and she couldn’t speak. He led her into the bedroom.

He attentively laid out the bedding for her to get on the kang bed, and sat on a stool massaging her hands, forcing a smile as he asked, “Are you cold? The wind outside the city is stronger than inside. I hope you haven’t caught a chill. I’ve arranged new positions for Master and Xia Zhi, allowing them to serve in the Prince’s Mansion. They can’t be executioners all their lives, and the salary is low. Master is getting old; he should enjoy some peace. Come to the Prince’s Mansion. The Emperor mentioned to me the other day that you don’t need to worry about status; the Empress has come up with a solution… If you come home, with Master and your senior disciple there, you won’t be so lonely.”

He rambled on, thinking so thoroughly. How should she respond? Was that Prince’s Mansion her home?

Seeing her silence, he continued: “Having encountered this situation, you’ve suffered a great shock. I can’t help you; you need to come out of it yourself. If not for my sake, think of the child. Back then, we both hoped for her. You ate so many ‘girl foods’; this baby must be a princess. And there’s Hong Xun’s investigation of Prince Zhuang’s case. The Emperor’s intention is clear. Many court officials in the court follow the prevailing wind. Seven gourds and eight diapers—not just your father’s case, but others are also implicated. Yesterday, Hong Zan sent someone with a message, wanting to meet me to discuss Ru Jian’s matter.”

Hearing this, she straightened up, “He still has the face to mention Ru Jian? What did he say?”

Hong Ce frowned, “He admitted many things, except this one. He denies it completely, saying it has nothing to do with him.”

Ding Yi’s anger surged like a mountain, “Nothing to do with him? Who else would hate Ru Jian? He filed complaints in prison, and Prince Zhuang feared the old case would be revealed, so he killed him. Doesn’t that make sense?”

“If I were Hong Zan, I would have killed Ji Lan Tai. Ru Jian’s accusation against him was just words without proof. Why would he give others a handle against him at this moment?” He sighed deeply, “I’ve considered several possibilities, but they all led to dead ends, making no sense. But regardless, the Emperor has used this matter as a pretext. Because of Ru Jian’s death, the court can justifiably investigate Hong Zan. Hong Zan has been in officialdom for thirty years with many disciples and supporters. The more they relied on him before, the more urgently they want to get rid of him now—this is the art of imperial power. The Seventh Brother sees through it, choosing not to get involved in anything, neither making achievements nor mistakes and thus remains at peace.”

Ding Yi sat blankly, her mind a tangled mess. Ru Jian’s death was suspicious—who was the murderer? She became resentful. Prince Zhuang denied it, but every grievance and debt had its source. What about Ru Jian? Whom should he seek for his life?

“I don’t believe his words. He killed my parents and sent people to Changbai Mountain to kill my two brothers. Ru Jian was the one who got away; he had reason to kill him.” She looked at him coolly, “What do you mean by saying all this? Ru Jian lost his life—that’s a fact. We just buried him today; don’t you know that?”

He stammered, wanting to defend himself, but swallowed his words. The imperial physician had said to be mindful of her emotions. She had just conceived and had also just experienced Ru Jian’s murder. It was natural for her to be in a bad mood; he couldn’t argue with her. But he also felt wrong. Then again, thinking about it, he had been used to being ostracized since childhood—what did this amount to?

He still put on a smiling face, “Don’t be agitated. Right or wrong, there will be a verdict when Hong Xun concludes the case. What would you like to eat? I’ve heard that some people experience morning sickness. When the Empress was pregnant with the Tiger Prince, she vomited terribly… Do you feel like vomiting? I’ll have someone prepare a basin.”

He was like an old nanny, fussing over every detail. Where was the once lofty prince? Ding Yi shook her head, leaning against the pillow, “Don’t mind me; I’m not worth it. Hong Ce, there are a few words I’ve been thinking about for a long time that I want to tell you.”

He looked nervous, placing his hands on his knees, nodding, “I’m watching.”

He didn’t say “I’m listening,” but “I’m watching”—one word’s difference, yet it brought a hundred feelings to her heart. She said, “Come sit on the edge of the kang.”

He immediately brightened up, and stepped onto the footstool, his face glowing with excitement. He moved closer, then closer still, wanting to hold her hand, but she subtly avoided it.

She dared not look at his face, diverting her gaze as she slowly said, “I know something about the inside story of my father’s case. Always wanting to overturn the verdict isn’t so righteous. If it had been a wrongful case from the beginning, I wouldn’t have liked you. It’s precisely because I know there was fault on our side that I can’t hate anyone. But Ru Jian thought differently. He witnessed the rise and fall of the Wen family. What he resented most were my father’s classmates and colleagues from those years. They pushed all the blame onto my father, and no one saved him. Everyone hoped he would die soon. And my two brothers who were exiled to Changbai Mountain—you can’t imagine the wounds on their bodies. It’s said there wasn’t a piece of intact skin. If punishment were based on the crime, my father wasn’t the main culprit; he didn’t deserve death, and the three brothers shouldn’t have been exiled. I was only six years old then and didn’t know much. Ru Jian personally experienced all the disasters; he suffered a hundred times more than me, and his obsession was also a hundred times deeper than mine… I’m saying all this just to let you know that a clear name is secondary to me. What I value is for my family to be safe and sound, without any more separations or deaths. But what I fear is what happens. I don’t understand why heaven is so cruel to me, not sparing even my last relative. I truly have no hope left.”

He urgently said, “If you have no one in your maiden family, you still have me. Heaven is merciful, taking one away but sending another. You should try to see it that way.”

She shook her head, reaching out her hand to cover the back of his hand, just like before.

“I still love you very much.” She swallowed her bitterness and continued with difficulty, “But in this world, many people who love each other cannot be together. We can’t go on, not because of resentment—I don’t resent you at all. It’s just that I carry too much, and my heart has grown cold. I’ve given up.”

These few words made him shiver all over. What did she mean by “cannot be together”? What did she mean by “heart has grown cold” and “given up”? He looked at her miserably, “What about the child? If you want to sever ties with me completely, what about the child?”

She said, “I cannot give birth to this child. I’m sorry.”

“I think you’ve gone mad.” He stood up abruptly, pointing at her with one finger. That fingertip trembled, as if desperate to pierce through her disguise. “How heartless you are! I misjudged you! How much do I owe you that you would torture me like this? The Yu Wen family has wronged you, I have wronged you, but what wrong has the child done that you cannot tolerate her? Even a tiger doesn’t eat its cubs, yet you want to kill her. Isn’t she your flesh and blood? I was so happy before, thinking that a turning point had finally come, that you would change your mind for the child’s sake. Who knew it was just a false joy? Your heart is made of stone!”

As he spoke with increasing agitation, he couldn’t control himself, covering his eyes with his hand, and quickly turning away.

She knew he was crying. It was too much for her to push him to this point, but how could she nonchalantly integrate into his life? Parents-in-law, brothers and sisters, sisters-in-law… she felt bone-chilling cold at the thought. They were all Yu Wen by surname; her parents and brothers were like ants in their eyes. Hong Ce had already been dragged down by her. If he married her, he might never be able to hold his head high again.

She was selfish and cowardly, she admitted. It was only after reuniting with Ru Jian that she had courage because she wasn’t alone; she had someone to support her. Now that Ru Jian was gone, she suddenly realized how small she was. She couldn’t fight against that enormous family that devoured people without spitting out the bones.

Leaning on the edge of the kang, she repeatedly apologized, but he didn’t want to look at her. The side of his face had become cold and hard. He said, “I can endure your tantrums, I can endure your unreasonable behavior, but on the matter of the child, I won’t yield a single step. If you harm her in the slightest, it will truly be over between us. I mean what I say.”

He left without ordering anyone to watch her or restricting her movements. She sat there. The kang beneath her was heated evenly, yet she was still cold, from the inside out, unable to warm up.