When Li Jin Yu returned home, Ye Meng had just finished showering and was blow-drying her hair in the bathroom. Li Jin Yu was dressed in a shirt and dress pants, with his sleeves rolled up and two buttons undone at his chest. He hooked his jacket with one hand and kept the other in his pocket, leaning against the bathroom doorframe as he watched her through the mirror. His expression was, well, somewhat asking for a beating.
…
After that meeting with Li Ling Bai at the police station, Li Jin Yu hadn’t been in good shape and had been taking medication continuously. The doctor had prescribed him some agomelatine tablets, and he had been quite obedient, taking them on schedule every day. It was only a few days ago, after his final follow-up visit, that the doctor said he could stop the medication. Only then did Ye Meng’s heart, which had been hanging in suspense for so many days, finally ease somewhat.
During those days, Ye Meng had originally booked tickets to Bali, intending to take him away to relax. However, a week before departure, the embassy suddenly notified them that there were signs of a volcanic eruption near Bali. That evening’s news even reported that fifty thousand local town residents had been evacuated from Bali overnight.
Ye Meng didn’t dare take Li Jin Yu there anymore. Without a second thought, she canceled the flight and hotel bookings. The airline charged over three thousand in cancellation fees. As for one of the hotels, she had planned to stay there after returning from Ubud Palace but hadn’t purchased cancellation insurance, so they wouldn’t allow a refund. It cost nine thousand per night, and that was during the off-season—it would be at least fifteen thousand during peak season. The hotel was perched on a hillside overlooking the sea, with a beautiful environment, a starry sky pool, floating breakfast… From the room, one could directly view the golden sunset and the star-filled night sky, as well as the endless waves on the nearby beach, where perhaps each seashell contained untold stories and affection.
Ye Meng had specially spent a long time learning the Barong dance, a local traditional dance. The Balinese approach to dance art was very direct; they infused all their intense love and passion for art into bold and uninhibited dance movements. She wanted to integrate into their culture this way, thinking perhaps the atmosphere would be made more passionate by her performance. Then, amid the gazes of those transient foreign encounters—filled with blessings, curiosity, or paying the highest respect to love—she would kiss him.
People would surely know they were deeply in love. The applause would be thunderous, unending. The moon would hang in the sky like a shy teenager, blushing red. And then, the whole world would be theirs. From then on, the light of the white nights would return, the rivers of the universe would return, and the flowers of the earth would all return. Only Li Jin Yu would she keep by her side for thousands upon thousands of times.
It sounded very touching, but plans couldn’t keep up with changes. The hotel wouldn’t refund, and Ye Meng lost both money and energy, bleeding with heartache. After all this trouble, she didn’t want to go anywhere. The flu was also quite serious at that time, and Li Jin Yu’s lungs were not good to begin with—he would unfailingly catch a cold with each change of season. He had two fixed colds every year. So Ye Meng no longer planned any trips. When they finally recovered a bit, she thought about checking flight tickets to take him to see the aurora in Russia at the end of the year, but again, due to various reasons, she couldn’t book the tickets. Anyway, that period was quite hectic. Ye Meng was taking care of Li Jin Yu while also trying to appease the old ladies in Ning Sui.
Fang Ya’en said Ye Meng was spoiling him too much and feared it would lead to problems, but they hadn’t told anyone about Li Jin Yu’s condition during that time. Li Jin Yu was afraid of worrying about his grandmother, so he never mentioned returning to Ning Sui. Ye Meng also didn’t tell their friends, as she couldn’t bear people looking at him differently, even if it was with sympathy. Her Li Jin Yu, even when ill, was still first-class in this world.
During that period, Li Ling Bai had requested to see Li Jin Yu several times through the prison guards. Ye Meng didn’t allow it, and Liang Yun An and Fang Zheng Fan also tacitly understood. It wasn’t until the night before the verdict was announced that Ye Meng finally went to see Li Ling Bai. By then, Li Ling Bai seemed like a completely different person. The blue prison uniform hung on her emaciated body like a dull gray sack. Her chin was no longer held as high as before but was always lowered. She looked haggard, like a reef exposed in the mud and gravel after a huge, surging wave had receded.
For the first time, Ye Meng found her pitiful.
Before entering, Liang Yun An sighed and told her: “Li Chang Jin came by a few days ago and showed her a document. After reading it, Li Ling Bai hasn’t spoken a word since that day.”
“What document?”
“I don’t know. Director Fang checked it, but beyond that, we aren’t privy to it. It’s their private matter.”
Ye Meng sat in the chair for a long time, while Li Ling Bai remained silent. The two were oddly facing off, neither taking the initiative to speak. Finally, Ye Meng impatiently checked her watch and stood up to leave. Only then did Li Ling Bai suddenly speak, her voice ragged, as hoarse as that of a dying old person: “He still doesn’t want to see me?”
Ye Meng felt somewhat sympathetic and turned her head away as she said: “It’s not that. I’m just concerned. He’s been taking medication ever since he saw you that day. If you have something to tell him, I can pass it on, but you can’t see him.”
Li Ling Bai and Quan Si Yun were both detained in a special prison, with a separate visiting room. The light beams shone within the high walls, the room full of dust, like a dark chamber sealed for a thousand years without seeing daylight.
Li Ling Bai suddenly felt that at this point, anything she said would be empty. Looking back on her life, every frame was filled with irony and mockery. Would she bow her head in remorse? Would she cry and beg for forgiveness? None of it mattered.
No one spends their entire life tirelessly hating someone. Time washes away everything. Forgiveness is the cheapest, most meaningless thing in this world. Let’s leave some dignity for each other. That’s what she thought.
Time trickled by slowly, like an old woman walking particularly slowly, until the expressionless prison guard behind her reminded her, “Five minutes left.”
Li Ling Bai finally looked up at Ye Meng. Perhaps having been inside with a bare face for so long, she was momentarily stunned when she suddenly saw such a beautiful, radiant woman sitting across from her, formally dressed yet full of the vigor of everyday life. She couldn’t immediately process it.
After a while, she finally said—
“Time doesn’t stop. Everyone in this world has apologized for their past selves at some point. I don’t think it’s necessary. Each day refreshes itself, and living each future day well is the greatest sincerity toward the past. That’s all. Goodbye.”
After speaking, Li Ling Bai stood up, allowing the guard to handcuff her, and left emotionlessly.
Ye Meng thought she probably understood Li Ling Bai’s meaning.
After that, Li Chang Jin would occasionally call from England. It was only then that Ye Meng realized Li Chang Jin’s Chinese was quite poor, though he was trying hard to learn. His communication with Li Jin Yu was quite laborious, so Li Jin Yu would sometimes simply speak to him in English, and occasionally even in French. Ye Meng knew Li Jin Yu’s French was good; she had heard from Li Chen that he had given public speeches in French during his freshman year of college.
Ye Meng only knew a few awkward phrases in Korean from watching too many Korean dramas. Even her English was poor—the typical test-oriented English education in China. She had taken the College English Test Level 4 twice, scoring 424 the first time and 425 the second time, barely passing. When she mentioned this score to Li Jin Yu after he hung up on Li Chang Jin’s call, he couldn’t stop laughing, saying, “Impressive, right on the line.” Ye Meng immediately asked him what score he got on his Level 4 test. He said he couldn’t remember, he had only taken it once. “Anyway, a bit higher than yours.” Ye Meng was quite proud: “No matter how high you scored, it’s not as impressive as my 425. Plus, I got a perfect score on the listening part.” “How much?” he asked. “200, of course.”
He didn’t say much at the time, just “Impressive, like the six-eared macaque.” Ye Meng laughed and hit him playfully. Later, when Li Ling Bai’s old villa was put up for auction and all the servants and housekeepers were dismissed, the court asked Li Jin Yu to go and clear out some things. As they were packing, Ye Meng dug out his Level 4 test score from some obscure corner. She was immediately silenced. Only then did she learn that the perfect score for the listening section was 249 points. How could there be such odd numbers?
Her listening score had been the highest in her class—a full 200. Someone had said 200 was a perfect score, and Ye Meng had believed it. Having passed the test, she had enthusiastically treated her entire dormitory to barbecue skewers, followed by a night of clubbing.
“Clubbing?” Li Jin Yu was sorting books to take back to Ning Sui at that time, randomly tossing them into the suitcase. He had quite a temper, not caring whether they were useful or not, just flipping through them briefly before throwing them in. When he got angry, Ye Meng thought he was asking for it. Leaning against the edge of the study desk, pretending to flip through a book, she said rather coldly, “You went clubbing in college? Sister was quite the party animal. Can you dance?”
After asking, Li Jin Yu suddenly remembered—not only could she dance, but her flexibility and skill on the dance machine at the entertainment center suggested at least five or six years of dance training.
Ye Meng was crouching on the floor helping him pack the suitcase, but he was carelessly throwing things in with a provocative look. Ye Meng closed the suitcase, stood up, and went to kiss him, but he dodged. Li Jin Yu had been lazily leaning against the edge of the table, but he deliberately straightened up, tilted his head back to put a book back on the shelf, and said, “No.”
It took a long time to placate him that day. That night, as she stroked his unusually docile and unprovoking brow, she thought wistfully, how nice it would have been to have known him in college. She wouldn’t have treated her dormmates to barbecue skewers then; she would have saved the money to pursue him. Although he would certainly have been even harder to get than he was now. She just wished she had met him earlier.
It wasn’t for any particular reason, she just wanted to hug that helpless young man from back then.
She wanted to cover his hot blood, straighten his bones, be his support, let him be unrestrained, free as the wind.
She always felt that ten years was too long, capable of erasing too much love and hate. Later she discovered that, in this world, there was still someone who could make her heart flutter every time she saw him. Talking to him made her heart tremble, and her blood boil. No matter how bad her mood was the second before, as long as he sat there quietly, even if he was smoking, even if he wasn’t speaking, even if he just gave her a casual glance, even if he hummed a song she had never heard before, she couldn’t help but want to look it up and listen to it.
—However, none of this prevented him from kneeling on the washboard.
…
Li Jin Yu also sensed that he couldn’t escape his fate tonight. He smoked two cigarettes before entering the door. Ye Meng happened to see him standing under the dim streetlight of the small courtyard covered with vines through the bathroom window, taking occasional drags. So, while blow-drying her hair, she asked in a rather calm tone:
“What’s wrong, Li Jin Yu? Is coming home such a hardship for you? Do you need to smoke two cigarettes to calm down? Is there a tigress being kept at home?”