The night was deep, and the lamps in the Imperial Palace burned dimmer than before, but it hadn’t fallen quiet, especially around the front halls.

Imperial guards patrolled, officials who had finished their work stood in the corridors speaking in low voices, and eunuchs walked about carrying tea and refreshments. When they saw a procession slowly approaching, everyone stopped.

“Your Majesty the Empress,” they said, bowing their heads in salute.

Chu Zhao nodded. “Thank you for your hard work, gentlemen.”

The officials replied in unison, “It is our duty.”

Chu Zhao looked toward one of the palace halls. “Is the Grand Tutor here?”

The officials quickly responded, “The Grand Tutor is here.”

Chu Zhao looked at the attending eunuchs. “The autumn night is heavy with dampness. Take good care of the gentlemen.”

The eunuchs responded in chorus.

Chu Zhao passed by them and headed toward where the Grand Tutor was.

The officials watched as the Empress’s entourage included eunuchs carrying food boxes—enough, it seemed, to set out an entire banquet. Was she bringing the Grand Tutor a late-night meal?

The Grand Tutor’s three daily meals were now specially prepared by the palace kitchens, and now the Empress herself was personally delivering a late-night snack—

The regent Grand Tutor was truly exceptional.

However—

“I heard that after the banquet, Her Majesty and the Grand Tutor had an argument.”

“I heard that too. The Grand Tutor flew into a rage.”

“The Third Young Master Xie was also there.”

“Who knows what outlandish request the Empress made.”

“Did the Third Young Master Xie instigate the Empress—”

“Shh, careful what you say, careful.”

……

……

Many people entered the hall, their footsteps creating a jumble that made the originally quiet interior noisy.

Deng Yi sat at his desk without even standing up, as if the person entering wasn’t the Empress, let alone performing any salute.

The officials originally in the hall quickly ducked their heads and withdrew, pretending they hadn’t witnessed this scene—this Grand Tutor came from humble origins and rose suddenly to power, but his temper was exceptionally domineering.

What could be done? The young Emperor, the young Empress—they still had to endure under his control for many years.

Chu Zhao also seemed not to notice Deng Yi’s breach of etiquette. She had the eunuchs spread the dishes across an entire table, after which the eunuchs and palace maids all withdrew, leaving only Xiao Man.

Xiao Man usually made herself invisible, but this time she glanced at Deng Yi twice with slight wariness. She could sense this man harbored some ill will—

Though one could tell at a glance that this Deng Yi couldn’t fight or do battle, unlike that Xie Yanfang who appeared a frail gentleman but could actually kill.

However, these officials, even if they didn’t know martial arts, killed more people than those who did.

They killed without using blades.

“Grand Tutor,” Chu Zhao said with a smile, “these are dishes I personally selected. Please try them.”

Deng Yi said coolly, “This official is not hungry.”

Chu Zhao curtsied, saying with a smile, “Grand Tutor, please don’t be angry with me.”

Deng Yi replied, “Since Your Majesty has already made your decision, why would you listen to others? Whether this official is angry or not makes no difference, so this official is not angry.”

What he said was actually true. At this moment he felt no anger whatsoever—his expression was calm, his complexion cold.

He wasn’t angry, nor did he care.

Chu Zhao sighed softly and stepped forward. “Lord Deng.” She bowed again. “Zhao thanks you.”

No longer using the formal titles of Empress and Grand Tutor, she’d switched to their former forms of address. Deng Yi looked at her and said coolly, “This is a minister’s duty. I dare not accept Your Majesty’s thanks.”

Chu Zhao said, “When Lord Deng flew into a rage and berated me earlier, that was a minister’s duty in protecting his sovereign. The Grand Tutor’s displeasure with me leaving the Imperial Palace and the capital is actually beneficial for me.”

Deng Yi looked at her without speaking.

The girl smiled frankly. “If both the Grand Tutor and the Third Young Master eagerly urged me to leave, I would instead be afraid to go.”

She was being quite direct.

Only if the two of them disagreed could the three maintain balance.

Deng Yi said, “Your Majesty jests. What would Miss Zhao fear? Whether we agree or not, Miss Zhao’s luggage is already packed, just waiting to climb over the wall and leave tonight.”

Chu Zhao laughed and looked at Xiao Man. “Xiao Man, is our luggage packed?”

What kind of nonsense is this? Not understanding these capital people, Xiao Man turned her head and said gruffly, “I don’t know. I don’t handle packing. Ask A’Le.”

Of course Chu Zhao wasn’t really asking. She looked at Deng Yi with a smile.

Deng Yi fell silent for a moment, reaching for the fruit tea on the desk as if to drain it in one gulp, but he stopped and said, “I truly don’t care whether you go—”

Chu Zhao’s presence wasn’t necessary for him. On the contrary, perhaps her absence would be better. In his original plans, this girl hadn’t existed at all.

But since she did exist—

He paused. He still needed to think more carefully for her sake.

“I don’t understand.”

What good would seeing him once accomplish?

Chu Zhao sat down across from him, poured herself a cup of fruit tea, drained it in one gulp, then said, “That’s my father. I’m his daughter. We must see each other one last time.”

Deng Yi said, “What good will seeing him once do? You know your father’s physical condition. Seeing him once won’t bring him back from death.”

These words left one at a loss for how to respond. Chu Zhao felt somewhat helpless. “Lord Deng, one cannot reason like this.”

Deng Yi said coolly, “Your Majesty finds it amusing, but this is the kind of person this official is.” He drained the fruit tea in one gulp. “That day in the palace, I already performed distant prostrations to my mother.”

Even though he’d obtained the imperial seal and tiger tally bestowed by the Emperor, he’d never had the thought of fighting his way out of the palace to see if his mother was safe.

“That would be a futile and useless act,” he said. “Other than providing comfort to your spirit, what else would it accomplish?”

It seemed there truly was nothing else. Chu Zhao said nothing.

“From the moment we’re born, we begin to lose things. What we must do is grasp what we can grasp, not covet what we cannot keep,” Deng Yi said. “Especially people like you and me who have reached this position today—if we become trapped by greed, anger, and delusion, not only will we fall into suffering ourselves, but those around us will meet bad ends as well.”

Chu Zhao was silent for a moment. “In all my life, no one has ever spoken to me this way.” She raised her fruit tea in a solemn salute. “Thank you, Teacher, for instructing me.”

She had called him Teacher.

Deng Yi neither objected to nor cared about her form of address. “That’s only because you hadn’t reached this position. There was no need to tell you these things.”

Chu Zhao thought to herself that she had reached this position before, then shook her head. No, that wasn’t right. In that other life when she’d been Empress, it was different from being Empress now. In that life, the Empress had been dependent on Xiao Xun. In this life, she had come to this position of her own will.

The positions truly were different.

Chu Zhao drained her fruit tea again and said, “I came today to bid you farewell, Teacher. With you here, Zhao can go with peace of mind.”

With that, she stood and walked out.

Xiao Man followed close behind.

Peace of mind—she trusted him that much? Deng Yi remained seated at his desk without rising, picking up his chopsticks to slowly eat the dishes.

……

……

Chu Zhao walked through the palace halls. The eunuchs dispersed, leaving only her and Xiao Man. As they entered the passageway between the high palace walls, darkness swallowed them.

In the darkness, Chu Zhao removed the vermilion hairpin from her head, unfastened her jade ornaments, and shed her ornate ceremonial robes, revealing the practical traveling clothes underneath.

Of course she knew that seeing her father once wouldn’t bring him back from death, that it was futile and useless, accomplishing nothing except providing comfort to her spirit.

But what Deng Yi didn’t know was that this futile and useless thing was something she’d had to die once to earn.

If she could fulfill this wish, even dying once more would be worth it.

A person’s life is short and difficult. To fulfill even one wish is already the greatest fortune.