“Winning is not easy.”

“What comes after winning is even less easy.”

Chu Zhao looked at everyone and sighed softly.

“In the future, you will face many hardships and obstacles. Compared to the men serving in court alongside you, you’ll be rowing against the current—if you don’t advance, you’ll fall back.”

“What I can give you is an opportunity, but what allows you to stand firm is only yourselves. Please take good care of yourselves and do your utmost for your own sake.”

At this point, Chu Zhao blinked at everyone with a touch of playfulness.

“So, my dear ministers, use your status and opportunities to make yourselves strong—not for my sake.”

Was she telling them to have their families focus their resources on themselves first? The women were startled, then couldn’t help laughing. As they laughed, they felt somewhat wistful.

Though they’d been valued this time for passing the official examinations, their families actually only regarded them as bridges connecting the Empress to the clan. The families also believed the Empress allowed them to become officials merely to win over aristocratic houses.

Now the Empress was directly telling them that she didn’t want to win anyone over—they should use all the benefits their families could provide on themselves.

In the Empress’s eyes, she saw them—each individual person, each independent person.

The Empress’s expectations of them were of themselves as individuals.

Madame Zeng felt somewhat dazed. In truth, even she had forgotten she was a person.

She took a deep breath and bowed in salute: “This subject respectfully obeys Your Majesty’s instructions.”

The other women also bowed and called out loudly: “This subject respectfully obeys Your Majesty’s instructions.”

Chu Zhao said: “Rise, no need for ceremony.”

She looked at everyone again.

“But a single tree cannot make a forest. To truly achieve success for yourselves, you still need support.”

“And this support comes from the masses.”

“So you must look downward. Besides focusing on yourselves, you must also focus on other women.”

“You must use your abilities to promote women’s education, urge women to participate in civil examinations, and enable more women to enter official service.”

“You must make the people believe that women truly can study, can become talented, can hold high positions and great power.”

“Only then can people’s hearts unite, drops become rivers, rivers become mighty torrents, and you will be able to ride the wind and break through waves, invincible in all directions.”

The women responded in unison again, their expressions beyond excitement—full of spirited confidence.

“Things in this world are easier said than done, especially when blazing trails never before traveled.” Chu Zhao sighed softly and stood up. “You were born into wealth and privilege, without worry for food or clothing. You should have passed through life in calm waters. I am pulling you into this whirlpool—please don’t blame me.”

Zhou Jiang laughed and said: “Your Majesty has also experienced hardship and suffering, seeking survival through death’s door to reach where you are today. How is it your courage grows smaller?”

Chu Zhao also laughed: “The ignorant are fearless. Precisely because I’ve experienced life and death, I cannot bear it.”

Madame Zeng said: “Your Majesty need not worry overmuch. To have the opportunity to choose in this life between calm waters and constant storms is already our good fortune.”

Chu Zhao looked at the others. They too smiled and nodded.

“Good.” Chu Zhao said, “Then I invite you all, ministers and officials, to dedicate yourselves to country and people, bending your backs until death.”

Everyone straightened and saluted in unison, calling out loudly: “We subjects shall dedicate ourselves to country and people, bending our backs until death.”

“Good, but hardship and suffering are still in the future.” Chu Zhao said with a smile. “The palace has prepared a flower-pinning banquet. I invite you all, dear ministers, to enjoy yourselves to the fullest first.”

The women all laughed again. Palace maids entered from the side carrying incense, saluting in unison.

“We respectfully invite the officials to the banquet.”

The women saluted Chu Zhao once more, then surrounded by palace maids, headed toward the great hall.

……

……

When Deng Yi was summoned, the banquet hadn’t yet dispersed. Because Chu Zhao had drunk two extra cups of wine, she’d left her seat to rest in a flower pavilion outside the hall.

Seeing him approach, the palace maids withdrew to the side.

“I greet Empress Your Majesty.” Deng Yi saluted outside the pavilion.

Chu Zhao fanned herself, not even opening her eyes, and said: “Your examination results weren’t very good. You’ll only be able to compile books in the Hanlin Academy for a few years.”

Deng Yi replied: “My studies have been neglected for a long time. Being able to pass at all is already quite good.”

“Now you know contentment,” Chu Zhao said with a laugh.

“Before Your Majesty, what good would my discontent do?” Deng Yi said.

He didn’t care about protocol before the sovereign either, lifting his robe to sit down on the steps. He heard the woman’s voice continue from behind him.

“Yes, those who were discontent have all been killed by me.”

The woman’s voice was slow, seeming distant yet near.

“Lord Deng is someone who has died once. You must remember even more clearly.”

This was a warning to him. The corner of Deng Yi’s mouth twitched as he said: “Your Majesty shouldn’t be arrogant either, thinking you’re now all-powerful. A centipede dies but doesn’t fall—I’ve heard recently that bandits and mountain thieves have all received flyers telling them to catch a not-very-plump and rather sickly sheep.”

Chu Zhao said: “I know that person is not easy to kill. To him, we’re all insignificant ants beneath notice. But this time, there are so many ants beneath his notice—even ants trying to shake a tree may not be impossible.”

“This time,” “that time”—Deng Yi had occasionally heard her use such strange phrases before, but it didn’t matter anymore.

“However,” Chu Zhao sat up and opened her eyes, “you’re no longer one of our family now. From now on, you’re not permitted to spy on our family’s news.”

Deng Yi turned his head and said: “Since you bring it up—though our family has moved away, that house was my compensation. You two can’t just occupy it for nothing, can you?”

Chu Zhao immediately acted drunk and confused: “What? What are you saying? I’m drunk, I don’t understand.”

She raised her hand and called out.

“A’Le, A’Le.”

A’Le outside the pavilion hurried to support Chu Zhao.

“I told you that you don’t have much tolerance for alcohol, yet you drank so much.” She chided. “Quickly return to the palace to sober up.”

The mistress and servant walked away, stepping on Deng Yi’s robe hem.

Deng Yi sat on the steps, suddenly smiled, shook his head, then stood up and walked toward the banquet.

Inside the banquet hall, laughter and conversation filled the air, but when several people at the entrance saw him, their laughter paused and they looked away.

Deng Yi paid no mind. He sat down at his assigned place and poured and drank alone.

He knew that his future days would be like this—treated like a ghost, watched with wariness.

Before, he was human doing ghostly, secretive things.

From now on, he was a ghost—he didn’t know what it would be like to do human things.

……

……

The commotion of the spring examination passed with several spring rains, and in the blink of an eye, blazing summer arrived.

Though during this period several disputes arose over women serving as officials, they all passed smoothly and peacefully.

Chu Zhao’s days were somewhat leisurely.

“Your Majesty,” an inner servant reported, “His Majesty has arrived.”

Xiao Yu walked in with flying steps.

“Sister,” he said, frowning and waving his sleeves, “It’s truly stifling hot. I was reading memorials in my underrobe, and those ministers actually criticized me. I suggested they also remove their official robes, and they actually wailed and lamented at me.”

Chu Zhao laughed and fanned him with her fan: “You really dare to say anything.”

Xiao Yu sat beside her, took a teacup from the desk, poured himself tea and drained it in one gulp: “Always going on about ancestral edicts. I think if I read memorials in my underrobe, my ancestors wouldn’t blame me.”

Chu Zhao looked sympathetic: “Our A’Yu has worked so hard. Being Emperor is just this difficult.”

Xiao Yu looked at her and said: “Sister, I want to go to the imperial mausoleum to see Father and Mother.”

Chu Zhao was somewhat surprised: “Didn’t you go pay respects during the spring examination?”

Xiao Yu replied: “There were too many people then. I want to go see Father and Mother alone.”

Chu Zhao raised an eyebrow with a smile: “Oh, I understand now. A’Yu misses Father and Mother.”

For a boy this age, the words “missing them” were rather embarrassing. Xiao Yu’s ears turned slightly red, but he nodded: “Yes, I’ve been remembering many things from when I was small lately, and I suddenly miss them very much.”

For a long time, he’d forgotten his childhood, as if that way he could forget and escape the fear.

“Good.” Chu Zhao nodded with a smile. “We’ll go tomorrow.”

……

……

In truth, Chu Zhao hadn’t come to the imperial mausoleum very often. For several years she’d been traveling far and wide.

Chu Zhao looked up ahead. This was the late Emperor’s tomb.

She could no longer clearly remember what the late Emperor looked like.

Looking back at the past, it felt like a previous life, and that previous life was even more blurred and unclear. Sometimes she thought perhaps it was a dream.

“Sister.”

Xiao Yu’s call came from nearby.

Chu Zhao saluted the late Emperor’s tomb, then walked over.

“Finished your whispered words with your father and mother?” she asked with a smile.

Xiao Yu nodded: “I told them so many, many things.” He patted his chest. “My heart feels much lighter.”

After saying this, he quickly grabbed Chu Zhao’s arm, hurriedly explaining.

“Sister, my heart also feels lighter after talking with you.”

Chu Zhao laughed heartily: “Explain what? Would I be jealous of your father and mother?” She reached out and pinched Xiao Yu’s nose. “If A’Yu has more people to confide in, I’ll only be happier.”

Xiao Yu thought of something and took out the bamboo tube, saying: “I almost forgot to give Father his gift.”

This bamboo tube—Chu Zhao looked at it with complex emotions, but more than anything, she felt gratified.

“Actually, my father rarely showed me affection.” Xiao Yu stroked the bamboo tube. “I had complaints about Father. The gift I prepared for him that day was deliberately meant to frighten him—”

It had contained a snake. Chu Zhao still remembered, though of course the bamboo tube had long since been filled with a toy snake instead.

“Later he died, and I had no chance to frighten him, and no more chance to receive his affection.” Xiao Yu said, looking at the tombstone before him. “I always held onto this bamboo tube, as if that way I wouldn’t lose him.”

At this point, he smiled slightly and placed the bamboo tube before the tombstone.

“Now, I’m no longer afraid of losing.”

“Just as sister said—as long as the heart that loves me exists, the person will exist, whether or not they’re by my side.”

Chu Zhao reached out to embrace him, sighing softly: “Our A’Yu has truly grown up.”

Xiao Yu leaned against her shoulder and said: “So, sister, you can leave now.”

Chu Zhao straightened up and looked at him.

Xiao Yu also looked at her: “I can accept loss now. Sister, you can trust me once more.”

He knew that on that day, sister had returned, but sister no longer trusted him.

Sister no longer held his hand.

When he went to see sister, he could no longer go freely. Sister’s side was always surrounded by guards.

Sister would never again stand in front of him as before, giving him her back.

He didn’t blame sister. This was all his own doing.

Chu Zhao raised her hand and gently smoothed the young man’s brow.

“Do you know why sister wants to leave? Actually, it’s not about not trusting you,” she said. “You are the Emperor, I am a different kind of Empress. Even if we trust each other completely, under imperial power, we cannot coexist.”

Xiao Yu opened his mouth to say something.

Chu Zhao’s finger lightly touched his nose, stopping him.

“Of course, this isn’t really a problem either, because sister has many methods—to make you completely unthreatening, to make you trust only me for your entire life, to turn you into my puppet.”

She looked at Xiao Yu and gently shook her head.

“But I don’t want this. I don’t want to turn you into that. I also don’t want to become that kind of person.”

“I was once an Empress who was nothing.”

“I can now be an all-powerful Empress.”

“But in the end, I still want to be a me that I like.”

Xiao Yu nodded and said solemnly: “Sister, besides my identity as Emperor, I will also be a me that I like.”

Chu Zhao smiled, cupping Xiao Yu’s face. The once childish boy had become an elegant young man.

“A’Yu,” she said, “sister has never regretted saving you. Sister is honored to have saved you that day.”

Xiao Yu could no longer restrain himself and reached out to embrace her, burying his head against her shoulder as tears silently slid down.