Lin Yiran felt as if a bucket of cold water had been poured over her head, extinguishing all the enthusiasm she had harbored for so long.
After Qiu Xing left that time, Lin Yiran went almost two weeks without calling him. Qiu Xing did call her a few times, but their conversations were brief.
Normally, Qiu Xing wasn’t talkative anyway. If Lin Yiran didn’t actively keep the conversation going, their calls wouldn’t last long.
Qiu Xing sensed that she was upset, but he didn’t bring up that topic again either.
In truth, Lin Yiran couldn’t exactly say she was angry—”angry” wasn’t the right word. Her emotions were certainly downcast, but it was more of a disappointment from unmet expectations. For two years, she had considered herself his girlfriend, and now suddenly she didn’t know how to face Qiu Xing.
She felt lost and a bit helpless. Although these feelings weren’t directly aimed at Qiu Xing, she genuinely wasn’t in the mood to talk to him.
*
“Yiran, I miss you so much.”
Li Qianduo sent a voice message, her voice lifeless and spiritless.
“I don’t like it here at all. I’ve been here for almost two years and still don’t like it. I hate how hot the summers are here, and I hate the dampness in winter.
“I hate that I can’t understand what people are saying, and I hate that my parents won’t let me come home.
“I don’t have any friends here. I can’t connect with anyone. I miss you so much.”
Lin Yiran had just finished showering. She had a mud mask on her face, her hair pinned back, and was sitting in a chair wearing her nightclothes.
She was alone in the dorm, so she didn’t use earphones, just played the voice messages through the speaker.
By the end of her messages, Li Qianduo sounded like she was about to cry, her voice becoming nasal and drawn out.
Lin Yiran replied with a voice message of her own, asking with concern: “What’s wrong, Duoduo?”
Li Qianduo’s next message was pitiful: “Where are you? Can I call you?”
Lin Yiran called her directly, and Li Qianduo answered immediately.
“Duoduo?” Lin Yiran asked, “What happened?”
Upon hearing her voice, Li Qianduo couldn’t hold back anymore. She called out “Yiran” and began to sob quietly.
Lin Yiran’s heart ached hearing this. She comforted her: “Don’t cry. What’s wrong?”
Li Qianduo seemed to be walking, holding something that made jingling sounds with each step.
She cried for quite a while. Lin Yiran stayed on the phone with her until Li Qianduo blew her nose and said, “I’m done crying now.”
Lin Yiran asked her: “Are you still outside?”
“Yes, I just got off the subway but haven’t reached campus yet,” Li Qianduo answered obediently. “The subway station near our school is under construction and closed. I had to get off one stop early and walk back.”
Lin Yiran asked again: “You had to work this late?”
“Yes, there were so many, so many documents to organize. So many that I couldn’t finish no matter how hard I worked.” Li Qianduo’s voice choked up again as she said softly, “I hate it here.”
“So you’re crying because work exhausted you,” Lin Yiran said with a smile, intentionally teasing her.
Li Qianduo replied honestly: “That’s only half of it.”
Lin Yiran naturally asked: “And the other half?”
Li Qianduo sniffled and answered: “I think I’ve been deceived.”
Li Qianduo was a pure-hearted, kind girl—naive and full of energy. Her emotions were straightforward; her likes and dislikes were pure.
She told Lin Yiran that she had begun to like someone a little bit. He was very nice to her, making desserts for her and giving her a beautiful bouquet of flowers. His shoulders were broad, making him seem fatherly.
Lin Yiran ignored her strange description and asked: “Then why are you crying?”
Li Qianduo wiped away her tears and said: “I think I met a player. I saw him giving flowers to someone else, even prettier than the ones he gave me! A huge bouquet of roses that couldn’t be held with both hands.”
The grievance in her voice was overwhelming as she sobbed: “The sister he gave flowers to was also very beautiful, wearing a red dress, looking so pretty… ten times prettier than me, waaah, but in my heart you’re still the most beautiful.”
She cried while talking and walking, and at one point even opened a small bag of cat food to feed some stray cats. She made herself look busy over there. Lin Yiran patiently kept her company, but didn’t know how to comfort her about relationship issues.
Her relationship was a mess. She hadn’t contacted Qiu Xing for several days and didn’t know how to break the current deadlock or where to find a breakthrough.
“How about you, Yiran?” Li Qianduo asked worriedly. “Are you doing well lately?”
Before graduation, Lin Yiran had shared her secret with Li Qianduo, but not in detail. Li Qianduo only knew that she had a man who was somewhat less than a lover.
Li Qianduo knew she didn’t like talking about herself, so she didn’t ask often.
It was only with her that Lin Yiran could let down her guard a little. Now she sighed softly and said: “Not very well.”
Two good friends separated by a great distance, each with their sorrows, unable to comfort each other.
Finally, they both fell silent, glumly said goodbye, and hung up.
*
The deadlock was eventually broken by Qiu Xing.
Lin Yiran wouldn’t actively seek him out. When he called, she wasn’t enthusiastic, and she stopped inviting him over.
But Qiu Xing still drove over one weekend. Lin Yiran only saw his message after class. When she went back to her dorm to get her computer, Qiu Xing had just finished mopping the floor and had even casually wrung out a nightgown Lin Yiran had draped over a chair.
When Lin Yiran opened the door, Qiu Xing had just taken a hanger from the bedroom closet and was holding the hanger in one hand and the nightgown in the other, about to hang it up to dry.
Hearing the door open, he glanced at her without greeting.
Lin Yiran stared at the nightgown in his hand and said blankly: “I only wore it once after washing. It’s not dirty.”
Qiu Xing said: “It fell and got caught on the mop.”
With complete naturalness, he hung the straps of the slip dress on either side of the hanger, holding it in one hand, his expression as impassive as when he was mopping.
Lin Yiran watched him carry the nightgown to the balcony, feeling a softness in her heart as some of the emotions from the past days dissipated.
The water marks on the floor hadn’t completely dried. Laundry detergent had been added to the mop water, filling the entire room with a clean fragrance.
When Qiu Xing came back and saw Lin Yiran still standing at the door in her changed shoes, he asked: “Aren’t you coming in?”
Lin Yiran still didn’t look very enthusiastic. She pointed at the water marks on the floor and said: “It’s not dry yet. I don’t want to step on it.”
Qiu Xing walked right over, picked her up with one arm, carried her to the sofa, and said: “Sit here then.”
Lin Yiran momentarily failed at managing her expression. She wanted to keep her face stern, but she also wanted to smile a little.
“But you’re still stepping on it,” she said. Though her voice sounded normal, the corners of her eyes had already curved upward.
“You don’t want to step on it, but I don’t mind stepping on it,” Qiu Xing said. “As long as you don’t have to step on it, problem solved.”
Qiu Xing had already turned and walked away. Lin Yiran looked at him straight back and asked: “Why did you come?”
“I was in the area,” Qiu Xing said without turning around.
“In the area from where?” Lin Yiran asked again.
Qiu Xing named a place—the city where his repair shop was located. Lin Yiran finally couldn’t hold back and broke into a smile.
So it wasn’t just Lin Yiran who was different from Qiu Xing than before; Qiu Xing had changed too.
In the past, if Lin Yiran didn’t reach out to him, they could go without contact indefinitely. Now, even though she was giving him the cold shoulder, Qiu Xing had come over on his initiative.
Lin Yiran sat on the sofa, her expression back to normal, no longer deliberately distant.
She watched Qiu Xing quietly, tilting her head. Qiu Xing came out with a charger, glanced at her, and as he passed by, bent down to plant a kiss on her forehead before walking away as if nothing had happened.
Lin Yiran leaned back slightly from the kiss, pathetically thinking to herself: Let’s just leave it like this for now. When the time comes, we’ll figure something out.