Today, wind and rain came together, the sky was dim and unclear. Several teaching buildings on the university campus had their lights on. In the hazy lamplight, raindrops flew diagonally, the air was moist and cool, surprisingly creating the poetic atmosphere of Jiangnan’s misty rain.
Lin Zeqiu’s hair and clothes were soaked by the rain. He carried two suitcases by himself, walking quickly ahead. His father called out to him: “Qiuqiu, don’t rush, Qiuqiu, come back, let Dad help you with the luggage.”
Lin Zhixia followed, shouting: “Brother! I can help you carry things too!”
Lin Zeqiu turned his head and glanced at her: “A gust of wind could blow you away.”
Lin Zhixia wrapped both arms around her mother’s arm: “No, I stand very firmly.”
Lin Zeqiu gave her a cold look: “You mean you’re clinging firmly to Mom, right?”
“I’m not clinging to Mom,” Lin Zhixia argued stubbornly.
Lin Zeqiu couldn’t help asking her: “Do you think you act like a university student?”
Lin Zhixia released her mother’s arm and calmly said: “Nobody’s perfect, everyone has flaws. One of my flaws is that I still like to act coquettish at fifteen, I’m not mature enough, but I’m not bothering anyone, so I don’t plan to change.”
Lin Zeqiu realized his tone had been a bit harsh again, triggering his sister’s rebellious psychology. Not wanting to argue with her anymore, he simply yielded: “Whatever makes you happy.”
Lin Zhixia once again held her mother’s arm: “Mom, do I annoy you?”
Her mother said softly, “Silly child, how could Dad and Mom ever find you annoying? Both of you are in university now, but in Mom’s eyes, you haven’t grown up yet, you’re still the same as when you were little.”
Dad continued: “Our Xiaxia is only fifteen, she really hasn’t grown up yet, she just started school a bit early…”
Looking at his two children, their father always felt a sense of pride. None of his ancestors for eighteen generations had ever produced a scholar, but his son and daughter had both been admitted to prestigious universities—this news had already spread throughout their hometown. Everyone said the Lin family’s ancestral grave was emitting green smoke, and his relatives and friends all called to ask about his educational methods.
What educational methods did he have? He had barely supervised his children at all.
When Lin Zhixia wasn’t yet three years old, she knew more characters than her father. At four, Lin Zhixia could read classical Chinese and even tell stories to her father.
Father reminisced about his daughter and son’s childhood appearances, his face full of smiles, cheerful to everyone. He held an umbrella in his hand, tilting the handle toward Lin Zeqiu, sheltering his son from wind and rain. He also said: “Qiuqiu is eighteen now, going to university, Qiuqiu has grown up.”
Lin Zeqiu’s fingers had red marks from the heavy items. He stopped, wiped his face, and responded: “Wait four more years, Mom and Dad, and I’ll be able to earn money, more than a hundred thousand yuan each year. I’ll get our family a bigger house with a large living room where we can put a long sofa…”
He lowered his head slightly, rambling on.
Lin Zhixia looked up at him, listening to his simple wishes, and suddenly felt a mix of sourness and bitterness in her heart. She thought of their home in the provincial city, the damp walls and floors during the plum rain season, the old water pipes wrapped in waterproof tape, and the electrical system that easily tripped in summer.
“I’ll be responsible for buying a house!” Lin Zhixia suddenly announced.
Mom smiled and asked her, “How old are you? At least your brother is an adult.”
Lin Zhixia persisted: “In three more years, I’ll be an adult. I’ve applied for early graduation. After finishing my undergraduate degree in 2012, I might go to Cambridge for a PhD. Cambridge has a quantum computing experimental group, and the professor’s research areas include mathematics, physics, chemistry… It’s interdisciplinary, which is the direction I want. I’ll finish my doctorate before my brother graduates from university.”
After Lin Zhixia finished speaking, Lin Zeqiu was stunned. He froze at the entrance to the boys’ dormitory.
The damp cotton t-shirt stuck to his back, causing him discomfort throughout his body. He took a deep breath and carried the suitcase up several steps at once. Lin Zhixia was still praising him: “Wow, brother’s physical fitness is so good, he’ll get full marks on the university physical education test.”
People were coming and going in the dormitory building, busy parents could be seen everywhere. They actively took care of their sons, but Lin Zeqiu’s situation was reversed—he didn’t let his parents help him arrange his things. He skillfully made his bed himself and even peeled two apples for his parents to eat. He didn’t give one to Lin Zhixia because she wasn’t interested in apples.
Seeing how independent he was, his parents soon felt at ease.
That evening, Mom and Dad, and Lin Zhixia said goodbye to Lin Zeqiu and set off on their return journey. Mom and Dad also escorted Lin Zhixia to her university gate, waving goodbye to her outside the campus.
She was like a bird that had left the nest long ago, remembering the shelter provided by her parents but unable to fly back to her old nest. She stood quietly in place, waiting until her parents had walked far away before turning to enter the university gates.
By now, the rain had lessened. Droplets slid from the eaves above, dropping into puddles and creating ripple after ripple. Looking at this scene, Lin Zhixia recalled when she was nine years old and had a fever after receiving the hepatitis B vaccine. Her parents took her to the hospital that night, and as she lay in bed receiving an IV drip, all she could hear was the pitter-patter of night rain.
*
Lin Zeqiu had come to Beijing, very close to Lin Zhixia. Every week, he would invite Lin Zhixia out to meet and treat her to a meal at a nearby snack shop.
Lin Zhixia had long achieved financial independence. She could live quite comfortably just on her scholarships.
Lin Zeqiu’s university living expenses were provided by his parents, one thousand yuan directly deposited into his bank account each month. His daily expenses were minimal; apart from buying books and eating, he had almost no other expenditures. He didn’t play games, buy new clothes, or date—although several girls at his school pursued him quite aggressively.
Lin Zeqiu put himself in others’ shoes and couldn’t help worrying: “Is anyone harassing you at your school?”
Lin Zhixia was eating a roasted chicken wing. She answered vaguely: “What harassment?”
Lin Zeqiu recalled a female classmate’s bold and straightforward remarks. He frowned tightly: “Is there anyone who insists that you be his boyfriend?”
Lin Zhixia wiped her mouth: “Boyfriend?”
Lin Zeqiu gripped his cola bottle: “I misspoke.”
“Haha, I’m afraid it wasn’t a slip of the tongue,” Lin Zhixia mercilessly exposed him, “Are there girls at your school chasing you, wanting you to be their boyfriend? Brother, you’re eighteen, almost nineteen soon, you can date now.”
But Lin Zeqiu said: “Waste of time.”
His cold and stubborn tone couldn’t stop Lin Zhixia’s curiosity: “Do you know why girls would like you? Do you believe in love? Do you think two people’s consciousnesses can align with each other?”
Lin Zeqiu avoided those topics: “Don’t talk about these useless things, spend more effort on your experiments. Didn’t you say you wanted to finish your undergraduate degree in three years?”
“Yes,” Lin Zhixia leaned back against her chair, “I’ve been so busy lately, I go to the lab almost every day.”
Lin Zeqiu began his stodgy lecture again: “That’s right, at school, you should study more…”
He gave a long speech, and Lin Zhixia listened absent-mindedly. She knew that young men and women would all have some budding feelings, a vague longing for a “soulmate,” and even she couldn’t escape this spell—why was that?
Lin Zhixia wanted to find someone to discuss this question with, and Jiang Yubai seemed to be the best choice. He was gentle and patient, knowledgeable, tolerant, with clear and quick thinking. He was Lin Zhixia’s favorite conversation partner.
One evening in late October, while Lin Zhixia was video chatting with Jiang Yubai on QQ, she suddenly asked him without any preamble: “If someone likes you, do you know why she would like you? Do you believe in love? Do you think two people’s consciousnesses can align with each other?”
Why would she like you?
Do you believe in love?
Can your consciousnesses align with each other?
On the desktop computer screen, it was as if a beam of light had been triggered, falling into Jiang Yubai’s eyes. His thoughts were thrown into chaos, like experiencing an unprecedented cosmic big bang.
He picked up his glass and took a sip of yogurt.
He appeared very calm.
Over the past few months, Jiang Yubai’s tutor had summarized for him Cambridge’s interview question types, response strategies, and psychological tactics. That teacher had taught in Europe for many years and was familiar with the interview process at Cambridge and Oxford. He not only expanded Jiang Yubai’s thinking but also imparted a set of methods for dealing with people.
Jiang Yubai knew that Lin Zhixia was asking for his opinion, waiting for his answer. She didn’t have any romantic thoughts or inclination to talk about love. He couldn’t let her discover… his current state of mind.
Jiang Yubai adopted a rigorous attitude as if facing an interview. He raised his head toward the screen and answered fluently: “Here’s my understanding. If I like you, ‘like’ is a verb that expresses my wish…”
“What wish?” Lin Zhixia interjected.
Jiang Yubai said: “To be with you.”
Lin Zhixia cupped her face with both hands: “We’re together now, we’re good friends.”
“Yes,” Jiang Yubai agreed, “we are indeed friends.”
Before speaking, Jiang Yubai had already prepared himself mentally. He should avoid talking about his feelings toward Lin Zhixia. The more he spoke about “love,” the more likely he would reveal himself. He knew nothing about “love” itself, proceeding blindly on the path of emotion with only courage to guide him.
Lin Zhixia didn’t notice his psychological changes. She approached from a philosophical perspective, analyzing the meaning and possibilities of “soulmates” with him. Perhaps it was her imagination, but tonight his gaze seemed particularly focused on her. Her thinking slowed down, almost melting in his gaze.
She had only gotten halfway through discussing “soulmates” when she forgot what she wanted to say.
She turned to ask about Jiang Yubai’s interview instead.
Jiang Yubai said he would probably have his interview this December.
The elimination rate for interviews was quite high, and he wasn’t one hundred percent confident.
“I have a feeling you’ll pass,” Lin Zhixia told him, “I plan to apply for a PhD at Cambridge. We could spend two years there together.”