Su Shi had always proclaimed her innocence. Even when stripped of her title and cast into the cold palace, she never admitted to plotting against the young prince. The Empress hated the Su clan to her bones. Soon after Gu Jinzhao brought Su Niannian into the residence, the Empress sent people to inquire. But Su Niannian was now a commoner, and by law and reason, the Empress had no authority to interfere.

Gu Jinzhao understood Shen Muchen’s meaning. With him not in the capital, no matter how many hidden guards he placed around Su Niannian for protection, there would always be moments of oversight. The Empress had wanted to kill the Su clan for more than just a day or two. Bringing Su Niannian into the residence was the best choice: first, Gu Jinzhao managed all affairs of the Crown Prince’s residence, so if anything happened to Su Niannian, she couldn’t escape responsibility; second, the Crown Prince’s residence was heavily guarded, several times safer than the outside.

But Su Niannian had run away. Because of a false rumor, she secretly left the residence. Simply foolish.

When leaving, the Empress told her that with such a gentle temperament, it was difficult to establish authority in the servants’ hearts. Combining firmness with gentleness was the best strategy.

She lowered her eyes and agreed.

Indeed, as Gu Jinzhao had expected, something happened to Su Niannian.

She didn’t die, but broke a leg.

She returned to the capital with Shen Muchen, carried in his arms, entering through the main gate of the Crown Prince’s residence.

Gu Jinzhao stepped forward to pay her respects. Shen Muchen looked at her with extremely cold eyes and asked, “Why did you have Yu Mo deceive Niannian that I was assassinated?”

What kind of logic was this? Wasn’t this discussed beforehand?

The next day, Shen Muchen entered the palace to petition the Emperor to marry Su Niannian and presented divorce papers to the Emperor.

The Emperor flew into a rage.

When Gu Jinzhao received this news, she was with Mu Xin in the flower house, looking at the newly sprouted gardenias. She was stunned for a moment, completely confused: “Why is this happening?”

She truly didn’t understand. Before Shen Muchen left, he had told her to bring Su Niannian into the residence and leak false information to find the informants. She had publicly dealt with Yu Mo, and there were three others whom she had secretly found faults with and dismissed.

She had also asked Shen Muchen what to do if Miss Su went to find him. He said he had already told Niannian in advance and would cooperate with her in acting.

When Su Niannian left, she only thought the two had conspired together and didn’t need her to know, so she didn’t ask further.

Gu Jinzhao intercepted Shen Muchen at Su Niannian’s residence: “Shen Muchen, are you crossing the river and destroying the bridge? Don’t you want the Crown Prince position anymore?”

“You and I had already agreed not to harm Niannian in the slightest. Why did you let her know about my assassination?”

“Wasn’t it you who told me to say it?”

“Nonsense! When did I ever tell you that? I sealed off all news. Even Father Emperor doesn’t know about the assassination. How did you learn of it?”

Only then did Gu Jinzhao notice that Shen Muchen’s complexion was very poor, and he had brought several Imperial Physicians with him. He did look like he had been assassinated.

Just as she was about to speak, a tremendous bell sound rang in her ears, one strike after another, as if striking her heart. Gu Jinzhao clutched her chest and collapsed to the ground, spitting up blood.

Mu Xin hurried forward to support her, shouting, “Crown Princess…”

Gu Jinzhao looked at her and saw that Mu Xin was already in tears. She reached out to wipe away Mu Xin’s tears and asked, “Why are you crying?”

“Crown Princess…” Mu Xin wept uncontrollably.

Gu Jinzhao felt her vision become a vast expanse of white again, but she saw many people. She saw her mother sitting at home, embroidering, looking at her with a kind smile. Jin’an was loudly reciting his lessons. A small child ran over, hugged her legs, and called out, “Mother.”

She had just crouched down wanting to embrace the child when he disappeared like paper, his whole body emanating firelight, vanishing into the white expanse.

The bell sounds gradually diminished, and beneath them, she could hear the rhythmic wooden fish sounds.

Someone was calling her by her ear, anxious, hoarse, as if they had been crying.

Gu Jinzhao opened her eyes. The first person she saw was her mother.

She looked different – she had grown much white hair and many wrinkles. Seeing her awake, she was so excited she couldn’t speak, gripping her hand with trembling, large teardrops falling.

She wanted to speak, opened her mouth, but couldn’t make a sound.

The doctor came to check her pulse, sighed and shook his head, then took Lady Gu outside to speak quietly about something.

Everything around her was familiar, yet somehow different.

She had forgotten many things, couldn’t remember why she had fainted, and couldn’t recall past events.

Once, when a maid was pouring tea, Gu Jinzhao suddenly asked, “Where are Mu Xin and Mu Yi?”

The tea-pouring maid’s hand shook, spilling water on the table, and she stammered, “The two sisters went out on business.”

It was a lie, but Gu Jinzhao didn’t press further.

Many things couldn’t be explained. Why did her mother look ten years older? Where had Jin’an gone? Why hadn’t her father returned home for days? Why was she living at the Gu residence? And why had she lost her memory?

She tried to remember, but every time she thought of the past, she suffered splitting headaches. Her mother told her not to think about it – she had chosen to forget those things herself.

“Ruoruo, did I live poorly in previous years?”

This single question made Ruoruo, who had been serving by her side since she awakened, red-eyed: “Miss, you lived very well. It’s just that some things happened later that made Miss very sad, but now it’s all in the past.”

Gu Jinzhao nodded.

Gu Jinzhao had awakened in early autumn. When the first snow fell in the capital, Gu Suzhi returned to the residence and told her to pack her luggage in the next few days to move to her maternal grandfather’s house in Suzhou for the winter.

He said it was for the winter, but Gu Jinzhao felt that her father most likely wouldn’t let her return to the capital.

The night before Gu Jinzhao left, it snowed all night. Walking on the snow made “creak-creak” sounds. As she was about to board the carriage, she glanced to the side and vaguely saw a person standing in the corner – it seemed to be a man wearing azure clothes and a bamboo hat, his face invisible.

There were patterns printed on the hem of his robe, but she couldn’t make them out clearly.

Suzhou’s winter wasn’t very cold. When they arrived, her maternal grandfather’s family was already waiting at the door.

Due to Gu Suzhi’s position requiring him to live in the capital for long periods, Lady Gu didn’t often return home. In Gu Jinzhao’s memory, her grandfather was still that upright figure who could lift her to reach fruit from trees.

But now he walked with a cane, his back hunched.

Her grandfather could be considered among Suzhou’s wealthy families. Her grandmother loved growing flowers and had opened a separate flower house in the courtyard.

Her grandmother was old and suffered from eye disease. Even with lamps lit at night, she couldn’t see clearly. So Gu Jinzhao would take Buddhist scriptures and read them aloud by her bedside.

Every time she read, her grandmother would fall asleep.

Gu Jinzhao didn’t originally believe in Buddhism, but after reading scriptures for three months, she developed some reverence.

Suzhou loved to rain in spring – gentle drizzles that only dampened the ground.

Gu Jinzhao would move a soft couch inside to watch the water dripping from the eaves.

“This Suzhou always rains, making everyone feel damp and sticky,” Ruoruo crouched by the door, holding a mortar and pestle, working on something unknown.

“No matter how long it rains, there will always be sunny days,” Gu Jinzhao smiled, then was startled as a scene flashed through her mind.

Ruoruo nodded in agreement, then put some flower petals into the mortar and said, “I read in a book that using flower petal juice to paint fingernails looks extremely beautiful. Once I finish making it, I’ll let Miss try it.”

“You’re always playing around.”

Her grandmother said that in a few days, an old lady would celebrate her birthday, and she pulled Gu Jinzhao to the storeroom to choose an appropriate gift.

Gu Jinzhao asked, “What does that old lady like?”

“Old Lady Zheng has been frugal her whole life. When she was young, she loved wearing red, but after that, I only saw her wear it the year she married, never again. At that time, I had just received a red cornelian bracelet from your great-grandmother. Before I’d even enjoyed it for a few days, I gave it to Old Lady Zheng as a wedding gift. Even after marriage, I never saw her wear it much. If I had known she didn’t like it, I would have given something cheaper. Thinking about it now still pains my heart.”

Her grandmother chattered on about many things, and Gu Jinzhao listened quietly.

“How about this one? Grand and presentable.”

Gu Jinzhao looked at the golden bowl larger than her face and hesitated, “Grandmother, you just said that Grandmother Zheng has been frugal her whole life…”

The two spent an entire afternoon in the storeroom without choosing anything satisfactory. Her grandmother sighed, and before leaving the storeroom, she patted her head and said, “Years ago, your mother brought back a white jade safety buckle. Do you remember? It’s said to be blessed, and the quality looks quite good. Come with me to the room to find it.”

In the end, they decided to give this safety buckle.

Old Lady Zheng’s seventieth birthday was only a few close friends. The courtyard wasn’t large, but it was lively.

Gu Jinzhao held the brocade box, bent slightly at the waist, and presented it with both hands to Old Lady Zheng, saying with a smile, “Jinzhao conveys Grandmother’s well-wishes to Grandmother Zheng, wishing you bright days and months, endless future blessings, eternal youth, and good health.”

A maid stepped forward to receive the brocade box. Old Lady Zheng couldn’t stop smiling, pulled Gu Jinzhao’s hand with loving eyes and said, “I held you when you were small. In the blink of an eye, you’ve grown so big.”

Her grandmother snorted beside them and said, “Still talking about that? You barely held our Zhaozhao for a quarter hour before dropping her. Fortunately, she wasn’t scarred, or I wouldn’t have been done with you.”

“Wasn’t that because you scared me with bugs?” Old Lady Zheng didn’t back down either. These two, with a combined age of over a hundred, went back and forth, neither yielding.

Gu Jinzhao smiled, watching the two of them. For a moment, she felt dazed as scenes of two young girls bickering flashed through her mind, and she couldn’t help rubbing her temples. Ruoruo immediately stepped forward and whispered, “Is Miss having a headache again?”

“It’s nothing,” Gu Jinzhao shook her head.

Old Lady Zheng wasn’t in good health, so the birthday banquet ended quickly, but she kept Gu Jinzhao and her grandmother sitting for a while.

Soon, a maid came running in with a smile, saying, “The eldest young master has returned to wish the old lady a happy birthday.”

“Xianyan has come,” Old Lady Zheng stood up excitedly. Gu Jinzhao saw the man who had been walking in the courtyard run in to support Old Lady Zheng.

Gu Jinzhao had heard from her grandmother that the Zheng family’s eldest son was learned and refined, gentle and elegant, with a good reputation among Suzhou’s people.

“Grandmother, peace. Grandmother Gu, peace.” After politely greeting them, Zheng Xianyan’s gaze fell on Gu Jinzhao. He was startled for a moment, then smiled and said, “This must be Miss Gu. This humble one is Zheng Xianyan. I wish Miss well.”

Gu Jinzhao returned the courtesy. Old Lady Zheng had Zheng Xianyan show Gu Jinzhao around casually, as the two old ladies’ conversation wasn’t something the younger generation wanted to hear.

The two walked side by side in Old Lady Zheng’s garden. Gu Jinzhao asked, “Are there gardenias?”

Zheng Xianyan nodded, “They’re being tended in the flower shed. They won’t bloom for another two months.”

Gu Jinzhao followed him inside and saw that one had bloomed early – white and tender, its fragrance perfuming the surrounding area.

This was the scent. Gu Jinzhao reached out to gently touch the petals, feeling warmth on her face. When she touched it, she realized it was tears.

“Miss Gu…” Zheng Xianyan was somewhat at a loss.

“I’m sorry!” Gu Jinzhao wiped away her tears and smiled, “I had an illness and forgot many things from before. I can’t explain it myself.”

“I used to… be a Crown Princess. Perhaps some unpleasant things happened, but I’ve forgotten them all.”

“I’ve heard of this – the Crown Princess of the capital, gentle and virtuous, dignified and graceful, composed and measured, earning people’s respect and love.” Zheng Xianyan nodded warmly, not saying the rest – that she was at odds with the Crown Prince, divorced with a single paper, and left the residence in anger, never to be seen again in life or death.

The two old ladies hadn’t seen each other for a long time and talked late into the night. Gu Jinzhao waited until midnight before they finished their conversation. Zheng Xianyan rode his horse to escort the two ladies home, carefully helping them down from the carriage before leaving.

Back in her room, Gu Jinzhao read Buddhist scriptures to her grandmother as usual. Seeing no sound from her for a long time, thinking she was asleep, she was about to leave when she heard her say, “The eldest son of the Zheng family is accomplished in both civil and military arts. He chose commerce over officialdom and is quite wealthy, but importantly, he hasn’t picked up merchants’ bad habits. He’s courteous and well-mannered – truly an excellent child. It’s just that at twenty-seven, he still hasn’t married, worrying Old Lady Zheng terribly. She’s arranged meetings with several families, but he hasn’t fancied any. Who knows which family’s daughter will have such good fortune?”

“If Grandmother has time to worry about such things, why not think about what delicious food to make for me tomorrow?” Gu Jinzhao tucked her grandmother in and left.

Her grandmother went to the temple every year to donate incense money. This year, she brought Gu Jinzhao along. The temple was halfway up the mountain, and the path was relatively smooth.

Before leaving, Gu Jinzhao looked at the overcast sky and suggested her grandmother wait a few days, but her grandmother said she went on this same day every year.

With just a few dozen steps left to the entrance, Gu Jinzhao was already gasping for breath. Her grandmother looked at her and sighed, “You children nowadays get tired after walking just a few steps. How can your health be good?”

Having said this, she skillfully found a young monk and gave him a bag of money. The young monk said they came at a good time – Master Fenghe, a friend of the abbot, was reciting scriptures, and they could listen together.

As soon as Gu Jinzhao stepped into the room, she felt her heart beating rapidly, the wooden fish sounds filling her ears so she could barely breathe. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. She persisted in walking to sit on a prayer mat. After an unknown amount of time, the wooden fish sounds finally stopped. Her grandmother came to find her, and they went down the mountain together.

Partway down, they could faintly hear bell sounds from the mountain, striking Gu Jinzhao’s heart one by one.

As soon as they reached home, it began pouring rain. Her grandmother said Fortunately, ‘Good thing we listened to Zhaozhao and didn’t delay a moment, or we really would have been soaked.”

Gu Jinzhao told Ruoruo she had a headache, probably from the cold mountain wind, and wanted to go inside to sleep for a while without being disturbed.

She entered the room, closed the door, and immediately collapsed to the ground, clutching her chest and crying bitterly.

The thunder and lightning outside covered her sobbing.

She remembered everything, all of it.

She was the legitimate eldest daughter of a First Rank Grand Scholar, the Crown Princess of the Shen Kingdom, and also… the wife of Fourth Prince Shen Mujing.

So everything had been a dream. Marrying Shen Muchen was a dream, and Su Niannian breaking her leg was also a dream.

Those repeated wooden fish sounds and bell tolls were calling her back.

She had asked Ruoruo if she had lived poorly in previous years.

Ruoruo said she lived very well.

She indeed lived quite well. Prime Minister Su fell, Imperial Noble Consort Su was cast into the cold palace, and Crown Prince Shen Muchen angered the Emperor and was confined to the Eastern Palace. But he violated imperial orders by beating the appeal drum, requesting the Emperor to thoroughly investigate the matter. In his rage, the Emperor deposed the Crown Prince.

She married Shen Mujing, the current Fourth Prince.

The Emperor made Shen Mujing the Crown Prince. After their marriage, they moved into the Crown Prince’s residence outside the palace.

Shen Mujing treated her very well, just as the rumors said – gentle and kind. On their wedding day, amidst the wedding attendant’s blessings, he lifted her veil with a smile at the corner of his mouth and tenderness in his eyes that couldn’t be dissolved.

Her heart was moved.

He thought of her in everything. Occasionally after court, he would go to Jinshan Hall in the city market to buy pastries for her. Seeing her bored, he set up a swing in the courtyard for her entertainment. She joyfully swung while he smiled beside her. He would also play music with her and on rainy days would move a soft couch to the window to watch the eaves dripping.

The raindrops fell “drip-drop, drip-drop,” as if time itself had stopped.

When the steward brought account books to him, he would glance in her direction and say with indulgence, “Give them to the Crown Princess.”

She was the eldest sister in her family and naturally carried some assertiveness, but Shen Mujing didn’t mind at all. Sometimes even she felt she was overstepping, but he would only smile at her gently and do exactly as she said.

Her heart was too moved.

Her mother had said that for someone like her, born unable to choose her own husband, if she could marry someone with good character and live in harmony with mutual respect, it would be a tremendous blessing.

On the homecoming day, she hugged her mother’s arm, leaned on her shoulder, and said with a smile, “Mother, your daughter is blessed.”

She was blessed. In childhood, born into a noble family, raised with fine clothes and food, never suffering hardship. After marriage, her husband was virtuous and doted on her.

When she was found to be with child, she nestled in Shen Mujing’s arms and asked if he preferred a boy or girl.

She had thought that imperial family members like them would value legitimate sons, and there was even the saying that “the mother’s status depends on her son.” But Shen Mujing said he wanted a daughter.

She would be the Shen Kingdom’s first princess, held in the palm of everyone’s hand with no one daring to bully her.

On the Emperor’s birthday, he had drunk a bit too much wine and rubbed her hand repeatedly, saying to her, “Zhaozhao, I really like you so much.”

Her heart was too moved.

As Ruoruo had said, she really did live very well.

It was just that later, some sad things happened.

Shen Mujing captured Su Niannian and had a household guard spend the night with her in a room. When the news broke, Shen Muchen stormed into the Crown Prince’s residence but was stopped by guards before reaching the main hall.

When Gu Jinzhao arrived, she saw Su Niannian huddled in a corner clutching bedding. She watched for a long time before speaking, “Shen Mujing, using women as threats is not the conduct of a gentleman.”

“I’ve never been any gentleman.” He also said, “Send Consort Su back to the North Garden.”

From that time on, Su Niannian was confined in the North Garden, and Shen Mujing never went there.

Later, Gu Jinzhao gave birth to a boy. Shen Mujing adored him and held him every evening during dinner.

He said, “Zhao’er must grow up quickly to protect Mother with Father.”

Gu Jinzhao could see he truly loved this child, and the Emperor and Empress were also very fond of him.

When Zhao’er turned one, Shen Mujing hosted a banquet for various ministers at the Crown Prince’s residence. Gu Jinzhao sat with him in the main seats.

Zhao’er was very spirited, babbling though he couldn’t speak yet, his big eyes looking left and right as if curious about everything.

He pointed at a wine cup and made an “ah” sound. Shen Mujing smiled and picked up the wine cup, placing it near his mouth with an indulgent tone, “Does Zhao’er want to drink wine too?”

“Crown Prince.” Gu Jinzhao patted his hand with playful reproach.

“I’m just teasing him.” Shen Mujing raised the wine cup in his hand and said, “I toast our Zhaozhao to peace and prosperity.”

Gu Jinzhao also raised her wine cup, clinked it with his, and smiled cunningly, “Then I toast the Crown Prince – may you have today year after year.”

Just as she was about to drink, she was stopped. She saw Shen Mujing drink his own wine, then take her cup and drain it in one gulp, “Young ladies shouldn’t drink too much wine.”

She smiled and leaned close to Shen Mujing’s ear, hearing him whisper, “Zhaozhao, I really do like you very much.”

She looked up at him and kissed the corner of his mouth.

In the third year’s autumn, a great fire broke out in the Crown Prince’s residence. She was walking in the garden at the time while the wet nurse was in the room coaxing Zhao’er to sleep. When flames erupted everywhere, she desperately ran back and saw Shen Mujing pour a bucket of water over himself before rushing into the fire.

Everyone was screaming. Gu Jinzhao felt she couldn’t hear anything. After an unknown time, she saw Shen Mujing emerge from the fire holding Zhao’er, his azure green robes covered in ash, burns on his hands and face.

Zhao’er lay quietly in his arms, not moving at all.

He furiously ordered servants to summon the Imperial Physician.

He couldn’t be saved.

Or rather, before the fire started, Zhao’er was already dead.

He was only two years old – a two-year-old child who had been force-fed poison, and after death, was burned by fire.

Gu Jinzhao held Zhao’er sitting in the courtyard. His face had been burned beyond recognition, and holding him felt light as a feather.

She saw Shen Mujing grab Su Niannian by the hair, drag her before them, and throw her heavily to the ground.

The wet nurse was from the Su residence.

“Someone, beat her to death with clubs!” Shen Mujing pointed at Su Niannian lying on the ground, his eyes blood-red.

Gu Jinzhao gently placed Zhao’er on the ground and stopped the household guards about to step forward. She walked toward Su Niannian step by step, slowly crouched down, grabbed her by the collar, and asked with a trembling voice, “Miss Su, why do this?”

“When the Empress and Shen Mujing framed my father for secretly communicating with Imperial Noble Consort Su to harm the young prince, did they explain why? When Shen Mujing had a household guard force himself on me that day, did I ask why? Gu Jinzhao, you and I had no enmity. I can only blame that you married Shen Mujing.”

One retaliation for another.

Gu Jinzhao looked up at the overcast sky and laughed mockingly. Laughing and laughing, tears fell as she raised her hand and slapped Su Niannian hard.

She used all her strength. Su Niannian’s face instantly turned red, then came the second slap.

Three, four, ten, twenty times.

Gu Jinzhao didn’t know how many times she had hit her until Shen Mujing pulled her away and held her in his arms. She screamed, telling him to let her go.

“Zhaozhao, Zhaozhao, let’s stop hitting.” Shen Mujing held her tightly, pressing her head against his chest. “Your hands will hurt. Let’s stop hitting.”

Later, Su Niannian was stripped naked and hanged at the capital’s city gate, left to die in the sun.

With this act, Shen Mujing lost his previous image as gentle and tolerant in the people’s eyes.

Walking on the streets, common people would avoid him, and household guards would serve him, trembling with fear.

Everyone only remembered how cruelly he killed Su Niannian, forgetting that he had once been the gentle and refined young master in people’s mouths.

“No matter how gently one treats people normally, a single punishment makes them so fearful.” Gu Jinzhao poured Shen Mujing a cup of tea and said indifferently.

After Su Niannian’s death, Shen Muchen unexpectedly made no moves and spent the winter quietly.

Suddenly, one day, Shen Mujing submitted an impeachment against Gu Suzhi. After returning to the residence, he produced divorce papers.

“I married you only because of your father’s official position. I achieved my goal of becoming Crown Prince. Your father was Shen Muchen’s tutor. How can I trust you?”

Gu Jinzhao didn’t look at the divorce papers but stared intently at Shen Mujing, trying to detect flaws in his expression. But she found none – he just smiled as usual.

She had always been strong-willed and unwilling to be a weeping, wailing shrew. She only left behind one sentence: “Shen Mujing, you once said you truly liked me.”

“I believed it…”

Gu Jinzhao moved back to the Gu residence. Gu Suzhi was assigned to manage locust disasters in the northwest, taking Gu Jin’an with him.

She often sat in the corridor in a daze. Lady Gu washed her face with tears daily, angrily cursing herself for not looking carefully, not realizing that Shen Mujing was a heartless beast.

That year, Shen Mujing constantly fought with Shen Muchen and finally sent Shen Muchen to prison.

She knew that with Shen Mujing’s character, he would visit Shen Muchen, so she waited at the prison entrance.

Winter was very cold. She wrapped herself in a cloak and waited a long time before seeing him emerge. She wanted to ask if he had gotten what he wanted.

But she only stood in place, watching him board his carriage, watching him leave.

She had married this man, spent day after day with him, shared the same bed – it was just growing fond over time.

Since that person was so decisive, why continue to entangle?

She told herself, “Jinzhao, oh Jinzhao, if you could do it again, definitely avoid him and don’t let yourself be so sad again.”

Later, she read in books that there was a profession among the people who could take away memories and create a dream realm – they were called Dream Weavers.

By chance, Gu Jinzhao inquired and found one. That person said they were only a beginner, not very skilled at constructing dream realms, which were easily shattered. If shocked within the dream, one might wake up and possibly lose memory, but would slowly remember again.

She said it was fine and asked them to weave one for her.

Mu Xin, fearing something would happen to her, also entered her dream.

In the dream, she chose to have her grandfather remind her to definitely avoid Shen Mujing, so she sought out Shen Muchen and preserved his Crown Prince position.

Perhaps the divorce papers had shocked her, or perhaps her mother had found a high monk to chant scriptures to wake her sooner. In any case, after sleeping for a month, she awakened.

All past events were completely forgotten.

Her mother, fearing she would remember upon seeing familiar people and things, discussed with her father who had returned to report on his duties, sent away Mu Xin and Mu Yi, and had her go to her maternal grandfather’s house in Suzhou for the winter.

Since she awakened, no one mentioned past events in front of her.

So this was what Ruoruo meant by “some sad things happened.”

The heavy rain outside fell all night. When Ruoruo came to wake Gu Jinzhao in the morning, she was still sleeping, hiding under the covers and begging to sleep a bit longer.

“That won’t do, Miss. Today we arranged to go with Old Lady Zheng to the tailor shop to make clothes.”

Ruoruo pulled Gu Jinzhao from bed to wash and dress her, frowning as she asked, “Why are your eyes swollen? Didn’t Miss sleep well last night?”

“With such loud thunder, how could one sleep well?” Gu Jinzhao went along with her words.

After getting ready, Ruoruo followed Gu Jinzhao out, looking at her curiously several times before finally saying when Gu Jinzhao lost patience, “Miss seems in quite good spirits today.”

“Wasn’t I before?”

Ruoruo shook her head, “Not that it wasn’t good, just that Miss always seemed to have something on her mind before.”

Gu Jinzhao reached out to hook her little nose and smiled without speaking.

Her grandmother picked and chose, busying herself for most of the day before selecting three outfits. Gu Jinzhao stopped her with a smile, “Grandmother, I’m a bit hungry. Shall we go have tea over there?”

“Alright, we’ll look more later.”

“Why do we need so many clothes? I brought plenty.” Gu Jinzhao supported her grandmother and said gently.

“That won’t do. I need to make up for all these years.” Her grandmother scolded, “Young ladies should be beautifully dressed.”

“I’m already beautiful enough.” Gu Jinzhao raised her head and said.

They found the nearest restaurant. As soon as they entered, the waiter led them upstairs to a private room where Old Lady Zheng and Zheng Xianyan were sitting.

Gu Jinzhao and Zheng Xianyan exchanged glances and smiled helplessly.

During the meal, they questioned the two thoroughly about what they liked to do, then later sent them to buy some books that her grandfather loved reading.

Gu Jinzhao didn’t believe Zheng Xianyan couldn’t see the meaning behind this.

In the following three months, Gu Jinzhao would encounter Zheng Xianyan from time to time. Sometimes Zheng Xianyan came to deliver things Old Lady Zheng had given, and her grandmother would have her receive them. Other times her grandmother would have Gu Jinzhao go to the Zheng residence to pass along messages – things that could obviously be done by servants were all assigned to the two of them.

One day during dinner, Gu Jinzhao finally couldn’t help but say to her grandmother, “Grandmother, you’re being too obvious.”

“What’s wrong? Old Lady Zheng has taken a fancy to you and insists you become her granddaughter-in-law. I have no choice either.” Her grandmother ate while muttering.

“But I’ve been married before…”

“So what if you’ve been married?” Her grandmother interrupted her. “Do you remember that person’s voice or appearance? Do you remember past events? Ask your grandfather – is there any girl in all of Suzhou better than you? Our Zhaozhao comes from a wealthy family. You just encountered the wrong person temporarily, but it’s good that you turned back in time.”

“Your grandmother speaks correctly.” Her grandfather nodded while serving food.

“Zhaozhao, Suzhou is too far from the capital. Those past events are a thousand miles away. If you’ve forgotten them, just treat them as if they never happened.” Her grandmother put a piece of fish in Gu Jinzhao’s bowl and said, “Your mother sent you here hoping you would let go of the past and start anew.”

Her mother sent her to Suzhou and didn’t allow Mu Xin and Mu Yi to follow because she feared that one day she would remember. Everyone around her never mentioned her past, protecting and guarding her, only wishing her future life could be happier.

The night before she left the capital, her mother said she wanted to watch her sleep, just like when she was small, singing lullabies to coax her to sleep.

Thinking she was asleep, her mother began to cry, holding her hand as tears dripped onto it, yet she heard no sound of sobbing.

She heard a maid softly persuade her mother to return to her room to rest. Her mother only said, “Let me look at her a bit more, just a bit more.”

Her daughter, who had been cherished since birth, grew up to marry but suffered these things – for a mother, it was like having her heart carved out.

“Zhaozhao, are you listening to Grandmother?” Her grandmother waved chopsticks in front of Gu Jinzhao.

Gu Jinzhao came back to herself and smiled, “I’ve been very happy since coming to Suzhou.”

Hearing this, her grandmother was stunned for a moment, and there seemed to be tears in her eyes. Her grandfather put down his chopsticks, patted Gu Jinzhao’s head, and said, “That’s good… as long as our Zhaozhao is happy.”

Gu Jinzhao thought all night and finally understood that love, hate, anger, and obsession were ultimately just matters of those three years. If she forgot the past and married into a good family, that was what everyone wanted to see.

Gu Jinzhao began gradually accepting her interactions with Zheng Xianyan. During a boat excursion on the lake, she said to him, “Master Zheng, I am someone who has been married. Though I’ve forgotten those past events, that doesn’t mean they didn’t happen. You surely can see what the two elders intend. If you mind, you should tell Grandmother Zheng early on. Don’t go along with the elders’ wishes and do things you don’t like.”

She said a lot at once. When she finished, Zheng Xianyan handed her a cup of tea and teased, “You’ve wanted to say this for a while, haven’t you?”

Seeing her silence, he continued, “I don’t care about Miss’s past, and please don’t mind that this humble one is nearly thirty and still unwed.”

Zheng Xianyan escorted Gu Jinzhao home. As soon as she returned, she smelled waves of gardenia fragrance in the room. She hurried a few steps, her voice somewhat urgent as she asked, “This… this gardenia, who sent it?”

“Xianyan, that boy. Seeing you love gardenias, he had a servant deliver them today.” Her grandmother also loved flowers and plants and was delighted with these two gardenia plants.

Gu Jinzhao lowered her eyes, feeling somewhat ridiculous.

What was she expecting?

In autumn, news from the capital reached Suzhou.

The Empress had plotted to harm a prince and framed the Imperial Noble Consort and the Prime Minister. The Empress was deposed and moved to another palace. Crown Prince Shen Mujing had helped conceal this and deceived the Emperor, so the Crown Prince was deposed and exiled to Duanzhou, never to leave for life.

Suzhou was on the route.

Her grandmother asked if she wanted to go see. Gu Jinzhao’s eyelashes trembled lightly as she lowered her eyes and shook her head.

“Go and see,” her grandmother said.

Gu Jinzhao looked up in confusion. Her grandmother held her in her arms and sighed softly, “You’ve been clever since childhood. If it weren’t for this old woman living so long, you really could have fooled me.”

“Grandmother…”

“That gardenia was sent by him through someone else.”

When Shen Mujing’s carriage and horses reached Suzhou, Gu Jinzhao went to look. The carriage had already passed by, but then stopped.

She saw Shen Mujing get down from the carriage and walk quickly toward her, stopping in front of her. His eyes held very complex emotions that all dissolved into gentleness. After a long pause, as if choosing his words carefully, he said, “Miss… are you wearing a gardenia-scented sachet?”

Seeing her lack of response, he added, “I was presumptuous.”

“The journey has been arduous. Please have some tea before continuing.” Gu Jinzhao smiled at him and said softly.

Gu Jinzhao had seen all the letters sent from the capital.

The letters described how the court situation seemed polarized, but Shen Muchen held the advantage.

As long as the former Empress held a place in the Emperor’s heart forever, Shen Muchen would not fall.

But the Empress was too eager and was caught with evidence.

This happened when Gu Jinzhao was still the Crown Princess.

Shen Mujing used his final time to write divorce papers, forcing Gu Suzhi to abandon his official position so the Gu family would have no further connection to him.

They would not be implicated.

“My tea-making skills have been praised by His Majesty. Duanzhou’s Luofu Mountain tea is most famous. In the future… in the future, you must try it?” Gu Jinzhao pushed the teacup toward Shen Mujing, looking at him intently with cautious hope in her eyes.

“Thank you for the reminder, Miss. If there’s an opportunity in the future, I will try it.” Shen Mujing didn’t touch the tea on the table but only looked at her, his eyes showing gentle but firm refusal.

The steaming tea fragrance reddened her eyes, and a tear fell into the tea water. “Shen Mujing…”

“I wish Miss peace and prosperity.” Shen Mujing interrupted her and bowed respectfully.

How much courage had it taken for her to decide to come find him? If only he had said, “Come with me,” no matter how difficult the road ahead, she would have followed without hesitation.

But he didn’t. He knew her meaning yet never mentioned it.

This was the second time she watched him leave.

Gu Jinzhao slowly turned around and walked back step by step.

From now on, he would go to his Duanzhou, and she would stay in her Suzhou.

Never to meet again.