What had happened?

The sounds of battle in her ears continued faintly without end. From the initial shock to now, after several days, she had grown accustomed to the point of numbness. Qi Yue watched as a soldier in front of her stopped convulsing after his final wail, and she herself seemed stunned. How many was this already?

“Master, Master, I can’t stop the bleeding, I can’t stop it!”

Hu San’s hoarse shouts came from nearby.

Qi Yue looked over blankly to see Hu San pressing his entire body against a wounded soldier, but blood still gushed out, instantly turning Hu San’s whole body bright red.

Can’t stop it… can’t stop it… nothing works… nothing is useful…

“Someone come, someone come! Doctor, where’s the doctor? Quickly save him…”

Continuous shouts came from all directions, growing louder and louder, making her eardrums ache.

Qi Yue looked around. The originally empty ground was now covered with people, as if a rain of blood had fallen. Everything in sight was bright red. Some lay lifeless in the bloody rain, others still rolled and writhed as their lives ebbed away.

“Divine physician.”

Among the people lying everywhere, one person stood up – a blood-covered figure like Hu San.

“How do you feel?” he asked flatly, his expression as indifferent as always. “Use your divine skills, heal the world and save people.”

Save people… save people…

Qi Yue looked down at her hands – hands covered in blood.

Quickly save people!

She finally let out a hoarse, dry howl, tears breaking like a dam, clutching her chest in pain as she crouched down.

Can’t save them…

Can’t save them…

What was this feeling?

The feeling of despair!

Seeing Qi Yue crouch down and lose composure, Hu San rushed over from the side and grabbed Qiao Minghua by the collar.

“Do you have any humanity left! Is this the time to say such things?” he shouted hoarsely.

Qiao Minghua glanced at Qi Yue over there, pushed Hu San away, and walked to one side.

“This one can’t be saved,” he bent down to examine a wounded person and said, then walked to another without stopping.

“This one can’t be saved…”

“This one can’t be saved…”

“This one can still be saved! Bring all the medicine here!”

“But sir, this one is still alive! Aren’t we going to give him medicine?”

Qiao Minghua didn’t even lift his head.

“He’ll be dead soon,” he said, extending his blood-covered hand. “Bring the medicine over.”

Such conversations continued constantly, gradually drowning out the painful wails and screams.

No, actually it shouldn’t be said they drowned them out – it was because those who were wailing and screaming had died or fainted.

The sounds of battle stopped at some unknown time.

“The barbarians have retreated! The barbarians have retreated!”

When these words came, it meant the soldiers’ days of holding their ground were over – they had won. Cheers and joy instantly swept across the earth, covering all suffering.

But this didn’t affect Qi Yue, or rather the military physicians – the bodies of fallen soldiers were carried away one after another.

“He’s still alive, he’s still alive!” A’Ru desperately blocked two auxiliary soldiers from carrying away the wounded soldier she was tending.

The auxiliary soldiers looked at her helplessly.

This was the first time they’d seen a woman in the rear, and for a moment they didn’t know how to respond.

“Are you very idle?” Qiao Minghua walked by and asked coldly, then looked at the medical basket beside A’Ru. “Take this away.”

An auxiliary soldier bent down to take it.

A’Ru held on and wouldn’t let go.

“He still needs it!” she shouted.

Her voice was already hoarse from days of exhaustion.

Qiao Minghua glanced at the wounded soldier lying on the ground whose vital signs were rapidly fading. This soldier had been shot through the neck with an arrow, but it wasn’t immediately fatal. Due to excessive blood loss, he occasionally convulsed, and his eyes, which still held a trace of consciousness, showed a hint of longing.

Longing for life? Or longing for release from this pain?

Qiao Minghua bent down and pressed the arrow shaft. The wounded soldier’s eyes immediately widened, his feet kicked a few times, then he was still.

A’Ru’s scream rang out.

“You killed him, you killed him!” she screamed in disbelief, hugging her arms and backing away, looking at this military physician with terror. A military physician!

“Carry him away,” Qiao Minghua said nothing, paid no attention to A’Ru’s screams, and casually took the basket containing medicine, bandages, and cotton from A’Ru’s hands.

The auxiliary soldiers showed no fear at all of this. They seemed long accustomed to it, reaching out to close the dead man’s wide-open eyes and carrying him away.

“Give it back to me, you don’t deserve to use it, you… you’re not saving people…” A’Ru chased after them, grabbing the basket and shouting.

Qiao Minghua looked at her indifferently.

“A’Ru, give it to him,” Qi Yue’s voice came from nearby.

A’Ru let go of her grip.

Qiao Minghua didn’t look at them and walked away.

“Lady,” A’Ru turned to look and saw Qi Yue getting up from the ground. In front of her, a wounded soldier had just died.

“He’s not killing people, he’s saving them,” Qi Yue said, forcing an ugly smile for A’Ru. “At this time, in this place, compassionate reluctance would actually be killing people, while a heart of stone can actually save people.”

A’Ru bit her lip and cried.

“Lady, we… can’t we save…” she finally sobbed.

It had been so many days. They watched wounded soldiers being carried in, then watched them being carried out. That feeling of helplessness could really drive a person mad.

Since she had begun practicing medicine, since Qianjin Hall became famous, this was her first time – the first time seeing Qi Lady, who in her eyes was omnipotent, show bewildered and helpless expression, show despair…

Nothing worked. What had once been praised as divine skills could save nothing here.

Nothing worked…

Qi Yue said nothing and looked around again.

So this was what fresh, steaming hot, newly delivered wounded soldiers were like…

So this hellish scene far exceeded imagination…

When daylight gradually brightened, the battlefield had been cleaned up. Captured armor and weapons were piled to one side, with auxiliary soldiers inspecting them. Carts and horses shuttled back and forth transporting goods, soldiers and officers loudly greeting each other as they passed. Yesterday’s fierce battle seemed like a dream, leaving no trace on these people.

Qi Yue had been sitting on this earthen slope for half a day. From here she could overlook the entire area outside the fort – the desolate northern frontier in winter.

Footsteps came from behind. Qi Yue paid no attention, probably A’Ru and the others coming to check on her out of concern.

“Here.”

An indifferent male voice said, while extending a hand holding a water pouch.

Qi Yue didn’t take it.

“Do you have wine?” she asked.

Qiao Minghua untied his wine pouch.

“Thanks,” Qi Yue took it, opened it, and tilted her head back to drink several large gulps.

“Your drinking capacity seems quite good,” Qiao Minghua said.

“So seeing action is more credible than claims, right?” Qi Yue said, wiping the corner of her mouth with her sleeve.

Compared to her self-proclaimed status as a divine physician, this drinking capacity was more convincing.

Qiao Minghua was silent for a moment.

Qi Yue also said nothing, still looking down the slope. Sunlight had broken through the clouds, and there were glints of light flashing on the scorched earth.

That was blood that hadn’t yet seeped into the ground…

Qi Yue felt only piercing pain, but she still insisted on keeping her eyes open to look.

“I understand now. You’re not a divine physician, you’re a doctor,” Qiao Minghua said from behind.

Qi Yue smiled slightly.

“Thank you for Dr. Qiao’s recognition. I’m honored,” she said.

“Before, many doctors came too – some low-key, some flamboyant, some old, some young,” Qiao Minghua said, his gaze also looking down the slope. “This military medical corps could never keep anyone. We’re always short-handed. I’ve invited them, offered money, even convinced superiors to promise official positions, but as soon as they heard it meant following into battle, not one was willing to come.”

Qi Yue was silent for a moment, then turned to look at Qiao Minghua.

“How long have you been here?” she suddenly asked.

Qiao Minghua frowned slightly, as if thinking.

“How long has it been? I came with my master’s master. I was still a child then. Later my master’s master left. Then those martial uncles also left. Later my master died, and my martial brothers also left…” he murmured. “How long has it been? About twenty years?”

Twenty years? Qi Yue was somewhat surprised. Looking at Qiao Minghua’s appearance, he seemed to be a full forty years old, but according to what he said, he was at most thirty.

“You’re the first one who dared to actually come and follow into battle,” Qiao Minghua said. “I take back what I said about you.”

Qi Yue smiled, somewhat bitterly.

“You don’t need to take it back. What you said was right,” she said, tilting her head back to drink more wine. This wine couldn’t be called good wine – it had only harshness without wine fragrance, but at this moment she needed harshness, not smoothness.

“I really had started to think I was omnipotent,” she continued, laughing self-mockingly. “I really thought I was a divine being descending to save all living creatures.”

She looked at Qiao Minghua.

“I also looked down on you,” she said, shaking her head and laughing. “What right did I have to look down on you? What did I have to be proud of?”

Qiao Minghua looked at her and tossed over an official token.

Qi Yue reached out to catch it.

“What’s this?” she asked.

“Your carts are all loaded. The fort gates will open at noon – you can leave. You can reach Dong Family Fort before dark, where it’s safe,” Qiao Minghua said, turning around. “If you still have the heart for it, take better care of the wounded soldiers in the rear.”

Qi Yue looked at the token in her hand, stood up, and looked at Qiao Minghua’s retreating figure.

“Hey,” she suddenly called out.

Qiao Minghua stopped and turned back to look at her.

“Did you ever have dreams?” Qi Yue asked.

What?

Qiao Minghua frowned.

“You must have had dreams, Minghua, Minghua – just like your name suggests, to be a doctor who relieves people’s pain and gives them hope, brightness, radiance, and strength. That was your dream, wasn’t it?” Qi Yue asked.

Qiao Minghua laughed scoffingly.

Women were always like this – emotional and inexplicable.

He shook his head, said nothing more, and continued walking.

“Do you still have dreams now?” Qi Yue continued.

Qiao Minghua didn’t stop walking.

“Reality is very helpless, always crueler than we imagine, but isn’t the reason people are human precisely because we have dreams and hope?”

“Just twenty years was enough to wear away all your hope and dreams?”

“Have you resigned yourself to fate? Don’t you really want to do something, try harder? Maybe what you’d face wouldn’t be lives that can’t be saved.”

Qiao Minghua stopped and turned back to look at this woman standing on the slope, with sunlight casting brightness behind her.

“Relying on what? Just on dreams?” he asked.

“That’s right, just relying on dreams,” Qi Yue said. Here she laughed self-mockingly. “Though I too haven’t had dreams for a very, very long time.”

Numbness – was it only Qiao Minghua who was numb? Wasn’t she the same?

Repetitive life, repetitive life and death, repetitive gratitude, repetitive sorrow.

She thought of the conversation when her father decided to perform brain surgery on that patient.

Everyone disagreed with doing this surgery because the chances of success were too small – it was almost impossible.

As the famous and respected Dr. Qi who had enough comfort to retire, there was absolutely no need to take on this impossible challenge.

“Dad, do you think you’re still a young person? Playing with passionate dreams and such?”

“Yueyue, you’re a young person. What are your passionate dreams?”

“…Higher salary, less work… patients who aren’t so difficult…”

“Haha, then I really am not a young person!”

In the end, the surgery failed, the patient was paralyzed, the family was furious, all responsibility was taken, and his future and reputation were ruined.

“Do you regret it? Knowingly doing what cannot be done – do you regret it?”

“Knowingly doing what cannot be done – how can that be called something to regret? This is a glorious thing. At least, when the next person encounters this kind of surgery, they’ll have my example as guidance. This is a good thing, so meaningful – what’s there to regret?”

“Dreams – do such things really work?” Qiao Minghua asked with a laugh.

Qi Yue’s gaze passed over him and fell ahead, a trace of a smile appearing on her face.

“Of course they work. With dreams we try, with dreams we’re not afraid of failure. It’s like being let down by a man, getting hurt, but still having dreams about love, dreaming that there will definitely be someone who understands your true heart, who will cherish your true heart. So you’re not afraid of hurt, disappointment, or fear, and dare to reach out again to accept, and then you’ll have rewards…” she said with a smile.

What nonsense was this? Love? Men? Qiao Minghua was somewhat stunned. Where did this tangent come from?

This woman…

He couldn’t help but follow Qi Yue’s gaze and saw several people running toward them in the distance, with a tall, imposing man in the lead.