This was Miantang’s first visit to the palace since her second bout of amnesia.
Fortunately, Mama Li had been intensively tutoring her on palace etiquette recently, so there was no fear of the former bandit embarrassing herself.
Miantang donned her official court dress, her hair elegantly styled and adorned with a sparrow crown. As she was led through the palace gates, she noticed a man in a jade-colored robe standing beneath a blooming crabapple tree in the rear garden.
Once… in the courtyard of the study at Yangshan, there had been such a crabapple tree.
Whenever she returned from leading troops outside the mountain, a young man in white robes would stand beneath it, hands clasped behind his back, smiling as he waited for her.
Miantang paused, then bowed deeply where she stood, saying, “This humble servant, Liu Miantang, pays respects to Your Majesty.”
Liu Yu quickly walked over, intending to help her up, but she subtly stepped back and rose on her own.
The young emperor seemed wistful as he said softly, “I hear you’ve regained your memories of the past.”
Seeing Miantang nod, he asked urgently, “If so, why do you still avoid me? Are you still misunderstanding me? Besides you, I’ve never loved another woman. If you’re willing, I’ll always find a way to bring you to my side.”
Miantang smiled slightly, her face not showing the reverence of a subject’s wife before the supreme ruler, but rather the confident and carefree smile often seen on Lu Wen’s face at Yangshan. “That won’t be necessary. What’s past is past. Since regaining my memories, I’ve been pondering one thing: how did Yuniang manage to sneak into your study?”
Liu Yu, having been force-fed poison as a child, had always been haunted by the fear of being dragged from his bed while sleeping peacefully. As a result, he carefully selected his guards and never slept soundly.
So, whenever she entered his study, she would make extra noise to alert him of her presence, avoiding startling him.
But Yuniang had somehow managed to slip into Liu Yu’s study silently that time, which now seemed quite perplexing.
Liu Yu frowned, defending himself. This time, he dropped the royal “we”: “She got me drunk. I didn’t do anything that time…”
Not wanting to dwell on old feelings with Liu Yu any longer, Miantang spoke directly: “I know you didn’t do anything. You were simply passive, allowing Yuniang to develop feelings for you, and allowing her to get you drunk. You knew I would return to the study to find you that day, and you knew that given my temperament, upon learning that my sworn sister had been intimate with you, I would quietly leave… So although your old Eastern Palace faction came up with countless schemes to strip me of my military power, none of their ideas were as effective as your move.”
After regaining her memories, Miantang asked Cui Xingzhou about many subsequent events at Yangshan, clarifying many things she couldn’t understand before.
However, deep in her heart, she still didn’t want to think of the young man in white beneath the crabapple tree as being so deeply scheming.
But… this recent Gu poisoning plot revealed Liu Yu’s suspicious and dark side even more clearly to Miantang.
He… perhaps had truly loved her back then. After all, the silent sweetness of their eyes meeting as they walked hand in hand through fields of flowers couldn’t have been faked.
However, her power at the time was too great, her abilities far surpassing others at Yangshan. Moreover, she would never have allowed him to marry the Shi family’s daughter, which made Liu Yu wary.
He did love her, but he loved a version of her that could help him without being so outstanding, so forceful.
So he forced her to give up her military power and leave Yangshan, allowing him to ally with the Shi family without too much guilt, making the subsequent pacification seem natural. He even left an opportunity for their future reconciliation – after all, it was all Yuniang’s poisonous scheme that had separated them; he hadn’t betrayed her at that time.
Unfortunately, for all his calculations, Liu Yu hadn’t accounted for the Soothing Prince sending assassins after her, nor had he anticipated her falling into the water, losing her memory, and marrying someone else after completely forgetting him.
Liu Yu fell silent after hearing Miantang’s words.
As intelligent as she was, it wasn’t surprising that she had guessed his true intentions at the time.
However, Liu Yu didn’t believe he had done anything wrong. His tone hardened as he said, “A man who aspires to great things must consider the whole world. I bear the heavy responsibility of restoring the imperial family and the Cui clan. I can only press forward. Did you truly believe that remaining as bandits in Yangshan could restore my father’s honor? Even Cui Xingzhou, if he were in my position, would have made the same decision.”
Liu Miantang slowly shook her head, her voice tinged with regret and melancholy: “When I hit my head on the pirate island and he rescued me, I truly considered finding you again, asking you to explain the misunderstanding. But… later, that idea disappeared…”
Hearing this, Liu Yu clenched his fists tightly. As an emperor, he relied heavily on Cui Xingzhou. But as a man, he could never fully reconcile with Cui’s act of stealing his love.
“What did he do to make you unwilling to leave?” Liu Yu asked, each word deliberate.
Miantang smiled, “He didn’t do anything. He simply knew that I was a female bandit leader who couldn’t remember our loving relationship, only recalling our life-and-death battles. Yet every night when we shared a bed, he slept deeply, completely unguarded like a child…”
Liu Yu’s face darkened, but he understood the meaning behind Miantang’s words.
Even knowing that Liu Miantang had lost her memory and possessed deadly martial arts skills, Cui Xingzhou had never been wary or tested her.
What Liu Miantang had always wanted was not mountains of gold and silver or ruling over a kingdom, but a beloved person willing to stand beside her, entrusting her with their life.
This alone was something Liu Yu could never afford to give, no matter how long he lived!
Liu Yu’s face immediately turned ashen. He watched as Miantang performed the proper palace etiquette before turning and walking towards the Empress’s chambers without looking back.
This time, Liu Yu knew that his Miantang, the girl who had smiled sweetly at him beneath the crabapple blossoms, was truly gone forever…
That day, when Miantang returned from the palace, she had dinner with Cui Xingzhou.
Seeing her eat hurriedly, Cui Xingzhou helped her with some braised pork skin and asked, “Didn’t you dine with the Empress in the palace? Why are you still so hungry?”
Miantang took a sip of soup and replied helplessly, “Before I entered the palace, Mama Li kept reminding me to remember etiquette. Even with delicacies laid out, I couldn’t eat much.”
Cui Xingzhou smiled and said, “Mama Li knows you well. She said you wouldn’t eat comfortably in the palace, so she had the cook prepare some tasty dishes for you… Did the Empress say anything to you?”
Miantang replied, “At first, it was just some words of comfort about her late father, but I saw that the Empress wasn’t truly sad, so we talked about other things.”
Cui Xingzhou glanced at her and asked, “Oh? What did you talk about?”
Miantang said, “The Empress asked me what rewards you might hope for from His Majesty for your recent achievements. I said what you had told me earlier: that as an adopted prince, you’ve already reached the pinnacle of honor for a subject. Any further rewards might exhaust the blessings of your ancestors. For you, being enfeoffed as a prince or marquis is not as enjoyable as returning home to serve your mother in her old age. If His Majesty truly appreciates your years of military service, it would be better to let you return home as a free man. Should the border face danger again, you would certainly don your armor once more, awaiting His Majesty’s summons.”
This wasn’t just placating the Emperor to dispel his suspicions; it was Cui Xingzhou’s true feelings.
He had come step by step from a foreign land to become a pillar of the Great Yan court. But the power struggles and scheming were not what Cui Xingzhou loved.
As the saying goes, “Serving the emperor is like serving a tiger.” In his heart, he longed for a life like Zhao Quan’s, which he had always desired but never attained.
So after hearing Miantang’s words, he smiled and asked, “What did the Empress say?”
After eating half a bowl of rice, Miantang became more composed. She tilted her head and said, “The Empress seemed not to believe me, so she asked if I would be willing to give up the bustle of the capital and return to Zhenzhou with you. I told her that I’d never been comfortable with life in the capital, especially with all those princes and nobles with their multiple wives and concubines. It’s annoying to see, and I worry you might pick up bad habits. It would be better to return to Zhenzhou. The Empress then said my words were unbecoming of a wife, that a man’s desire for concubines shouldn’t be obstructed by his primary wife.”
Cui Xingzhou raised an eyebrow, sensing something amiss. He drawled, “So how did you respond to the Empress?”
Miantang smiled and said, “Of course, I dared not deceive the Empress. I said I lack Her Majesty’s virtuous tolerance, and I’m not well-read, so I don’t know how to write about wifely conduct. If you wanted to take concubines, you’d have to ask my sword if it agrees.”
Mama Li, who was ladling soup nearby, couldn’t help but draw in a sharp breath upon hearing this.
Cui Xingzhou, however, was unfazed. He chuckled and continued listening.
Miantang went on, “The Empress smiled wryly and said she couldn’t guarantee that all officials would remain loyal in the future, but as long as I, Liu Miantang, remained the Prince of Huaiyang’s primary wife, the Prince of Huaiyang would surely enjoy marital bliss and have no time to pursue worldly vanities…”
Cui Xingzhou pinched Miantang’s cheek, “How impertinent! You dare say anything as if you could defeat me with your sword!”
However, Cui Xingzhou knew that the Empress’s joking words were a sign of her trust in their marriage.
At the very least, Liu Miantang had no ambition for her husband to become the supreme ruler.
That position was too high, too cold. Sitting there for too long would inevitably change a person.
Liu Miantang absolutely couldn’t tolerate her husband becoming like Liu Yu, surrounded by multiple wives and concubines. As intelligent as she was, if given a peaceful and prosperous life, she naturally wouldn’t harbor thoughts of urging her husband to seize power unnecessarily.
Miantang’s intentional words at the time were also meant to reassure the Empress.
Between two women who had always gotten along well, there were always some tacit understandings that could be sensed but not spoken.
Earlier in the palace, after hearing her words, Empress Shi smiled bitterly and remained silent for a long time before saying, “This life is like porridge, always getting thicker as it simmers, but everyone has their way of cooking it… Your method isn’t bad, Princess, but few women in this world can be as free-spirited as you…”
When Empress Shi said these words, the desolation in her eyes was not something a woman of her age should have.