“What does Your Highness fear most?”
“Loss.”
After a long time she stopped crying, standing alone with endless mountain ranges behind her.
“If I was destined to lose everything from the beginning, why let me taste what it’s like to possess anything.” She said. “This so-called Grand Princess title is just superficial glory. Actually I’m a prisoner—even coming to Fragrant Hills required the Emperor’s approval. You people say you’re protecting me, but at the Emperor’s single command, you could take my life anytime. I now resent this identity—why was I born into the imperial family? I’d rather be a commoner. Even if that meant never meeting the Prince of Nanyuan, I wouldn’t regret it. I always feel Heaven is unfair to me—letting me be happy today, then making me cry tomorrow. In the end, left with nothing… I’m truly afraid of this.”
Jin Shi turned his face slightly. The last ray of sunset hit his shoulder, half his face bright, half dark. Hearing her speak of birth circumstances, he slowly shook his head. “People live with various hardships. Does Your Highness think being an ordinary commoner would eliminate those troubles? Has Your Highness heard of Heavenward Women Households?”
She knew of Heavenward Women Households. Great Ye had always practiced burial sacrifices. When emperors died, the palace would select dozens of palace women to sacrifice themselves for duty. Their families were called Heavenward Women Households. Initially Yin Luo nearly became a burial sacrifice, but after Xiao Duo saved her and she returned to Hangzhou, Bu Taifu blamed her for not dying successfully, unable to earn merit for the family. Speaking of those girls of humble birth who made their living in the palace, she truly couldn’t compare.
“When the dragon chariot ascended, new nobles were first enfeoffed, while pitiful women households all faced heaven.” Jin Shi smiled wryly. “This subject was born into a minor clerk’s family. My father was an inspector in the Central Secretariat, a seventh-rank sesame seed official. By rights, this subject could never become an Embroidered Uniform Guard captain. But my family had a younger sister who entered the palace in the ninth year of Longhua, becoming a Noble Lady. Last year when the former emperor passed away, my sister was ordered to be buried alive. To reward loyalty and courage, the court promoted this subject exceptionally. In other words, this subject’s official position was exchanged for my sister’s life. When my sister died she was only eighteen, never having lived any good days. At the flower of her youth she was forced to hang herself. Her posthumous honor was merely a nameplate in the shrine hall—when the former emperor received sacrifices, she could share some reflected glory…”
Wanwan hadn’t expected him to be from a Heavenward Women Household. When he spoke these words, she felt somewhat afraid—afraid he might transfer his anger and do something terrible.
She shrank back slightly. Seeing this, he actually smiled. “Your Highness needn’t be afraid. If this subject wanted revenge, I wouldn’t have extended aid just now. Though this subject is dull, I know the source of this evil doesn’t lie with Your Highness, nor can I simply attack anyone surnamed Murong. This subject only wants to tell Your Highness that when comparing misery, there are countless pitiful people under heaven. Your Highness is definitely not the most wretched. Taking ten thousand steps back, even without the Prince Consort, you still have your child. As long as the child exists, you have hope.”
Wanwan stood still, his words requiring half a day to digest. But this slow torture of slicing flesh with a dull knife—perhaps he couldn’t comprehend it. “Actually I’d rather die than continue like this. My happiness was so brief, and from now on I can only live for my child. Why?”
“Because you are Great Ye’s Grand Princess, the Emperor’s own sister. The Emperor can kill anyone else at will, but never you. So as long as you take care of yourself and ignore the court’s bloody storms, peacefully raise your little prince—reuniting with the Prince Consort isn’t without hope.”
Wanwan stared at him blankly as his face gradually disappeared into darkness. Distant calls from Tonghuan reached them. She steadied herself and said thank you. “Thank you for reaching out to save me just now, and for saying so much to me. Regarding your sister’s matter, I feel very sorry. Using living people for burial sacrifices—I’ve never approved. I hope someday the Emperor can sever this backward custom and stop letting young girls die unnatural deaths.”
She turned toward Mind-Seeing Studio. The maid at the corridor’s end found her and came to support her. Master and servant slowly walked away while Jin Shi remained standing there, unmoving for a long time.
Returning to her bedroom, Wanwan was still frightened by the earlier incident. Though she hadn’t fallen, her muscles and bones were strained. Not daring to carelessly apply medicinal oils, she had Tonghuan bring hot towels for compresses.
She removed her outer robe, revealing her round belly. Xiao You, holding a copper basin, observed: “Five months and already so big—Your Highness isn’t carrying twins, is she?”
Tonghuan also stared expectantly. Wanwan said no. “Twins aren’t something you can have just by wanting them—it requires ancestral virtue. I don’t hope for this. The first birth is already difficult; raising two would be terrifying!”
Just as she finished speaking, she felt her belly squirming. Looking down, the left side spasmed and jumped, suddenly bulging into a lump before quickly settling. She asked in surprise: “Did you see that? Was the baby moving?”
All three were amazed and excited. Wanwan finally felt she was carrying a living being—she and this child shared blood and breath. She sighed: “If only Liangshi were here—he’d definitely be very happy too.”
Ultimately it was a regret. He wasn’t present for the child’s first movement; the fresh sensation of becoming parents was hers alone to experience.
Because of this incident, she didn’t dare wander around the next day. After burning one incense stick at the temple, she returned to Beijing. The jolting journey was very uncomfortable. Despite thick cushioning, she was still severely fatigued. Upon reaching home she immediately slept. After a short while, she vaguely heard people talking under the eaves: “At least let Her Highness know—it’s the Cabinet taking charge now. If the Emperor becomes a hands-off leader, who knows how the Cabinet will handle things.”
“What good would telling her now do…”
She propped herself up and called to the inner chamberlain: “What matter? Come in to speak.”
Yu Qixia and Tonghuan hurried to the floor screen. She sat up and asked what was happening through the pearl curtain. Yu Qixia said: “This subject just received news that the court will increase taxes this year—adding twenty percent to all regions, but forty percent to Nanyuan alone. Also regarding tribute grain and salt—they’re ordered not to fall below previous years. New River naval reorganization requires maintaining at least eight hundred ships… Your Highness, such targeting will likely cause disaster. Even if it’s not the Emperor’s idea, those Cabinet ministers are pressing step by step. If they truly drive the Prince to desperation, what benefit would that bring to the realm and dynasty?”
Wanwan ground her teeth in hatred. “Years of robbing Peter to pay Paul—those old ministers have all gone mad!”
She hastily rose to dress, telling Yu Qixia to notify Jin Shi that she must immediately enter West Sea. After dressing properly she went out—the palanquin was already waiting at the second gate. Tonghuan helped her into the chair while earnestly instructing: “Your Highness mustn’t be anxious. Stay calm and peaceful—your own body is most important.”
How could she stay calm? Some words she couldn’t voice—she feared Liangshi originally had no rebellious intentions but was being forced onto that path. Once things truly reached an irreversible point where it was kill or be killed, how could she fare well!
The wheels rolled to the great palace gate. Seeing someone arrive, the guarding eunuchs came forward to stop them. When she descended from the carriage and they saw who it was, they hurriedly bowed in greeting. She glanced into the gate. “Are the ministers still inside?”
The eunuch confirmed: “Haven’t seen them leave the garden.”
She lifted her skirt and climbed the steps. Because the Emperor had ordered her entry required no announcement, the eunuchs dared not obstruct her, escorting her into Jade Urn Pavilion. She knew the Emperor generally conducted business in Chengguang Hall and needed no guide, heading directly there. Between Chengguang Hall and Jade Urn Pavilion lay a round city. Passing through the corridor toward the back, she saw Chong Mau standing under the rolling shed of the front hall—that fat eunuch was comfortably squinting his eyes, sunbathing.
Wanwan called out “Liu Ban’er.” Seeing her, Chong Mau was startled. “How has Your Highness come?”
She didn’t answer him, only asking if the Emperor was inside.
Chong Mau said yes, “But he’s currently discussing affairs with the Cabinet. If Your Highness seeks him, please wait briefly. When people disperse, this subject will immediately announce Your Highness.”
She ignored this, waving her hand to say it wasn’t necessary and proceeding up the steps herself.
Naturally Chong Mau tried to stop her, but she was the imperial sister carrying a child—no one dared lay hands on her. So his repeated “Please halt, Your Highness” had no effect whatsoever; she still successfully entered the main hall.
The ruler and ministers discussing affairs all paused, looking toward her. The Emperor descended from his seat to greet her, smiling: “Who lit your fuse again? Look at this firecracker appearance! Instead of peacefully nurturing your pregnancy at home, how did you come wandering here?”
Wanwan ignored him, only coldly eyeing those two Cabinet ministers. At last year’s Mid-Autumn banquet, she’d met these two—one was Jinshen Hall Grand Secretary Xie Daozhi, the other Huagai Hall Grand Secretary Yang Yun. They were the Cabinet’s leaders, wielding drafting power. When Xiao Duo was alive, they had to rely on the Ceremonial Directorate for vermillion approval. Now with Xiao Duo gone, they’d finally emerged, able to hold their heads high.
However straight their spines, they still had to bow before her, performing deep bows: “We subjects pay respects to the Grand Princess.”
She granted them exemption from ceremony. “I’ve been here a while, hearing the two honored ministers outside discussing taxation matters. Though I’m a mere woman, I’m also Xiaozong Emperor’s flesh and blood. From ancient times we’ve only known that rulers should treat their domains equally—I never imagined current court pillars would have the Emperor show favoritism. I often remain in my chambers, not knowing what winds blow in court now. I’d like to hear the two honored ministers’ elevated views to broaden my knowledge.”
The three men exchanged glances, knowing she’d come for Nanyuan’s sake, momentarily unsure how to respond. Yang Yun steeled himself and bowed: “Your Highness probably doesn’t know—empty state coffers are a chronic illness from Emperor Huizong’s reign. Even when Xiao Duo was alive, expenditures exceeded income. After the Great and Small Ryukyu campaign, we’re now even more strapped. This vast nation with millions of subjects—which one shouldn’t loyally serve the country? Nanyuan was originally a land of fish and rice; compared to border regions, it’s heaven and earth different. For instance, when a family has impoverished members, those more financially secure should provide relief. Northern armies haven’t received pay for years—without solutions, those military and civilians can’t manage, and serious trouble will eventually erupt.”
She nodded after listening. “Minister Yang’s words, simply put, mean cutting flesh to heal wounds—even if Nanyuan is completely drained, it’s worth it. Northern military affairs are urgent and indeed can’t be ignored, but does the minister know Huaining refugees have become a disaster, nearly dragging down Nanyuan? Our Great Ye territory has eight princes total—may I ask the minister, how many are currently providing disaster relief? Once refugees enter their territory, immediately driving them toward Nanyuan is the consensus of the other seven princes. The court has yet to provide a single grain of relief supplies or cartload of coal. Those tens of thousands of refugees have eaten for a year—where exactly did the grain come from? The minister compares the court to a family—if so, everyone should share burdens. Nanyuan’s expenses are already much greater than other regions. Not considering their difficulties and only demanding endlessly—after emptying this rice jar, do you plan to turn Nanyuan into a second Mobei?”
The Cabinet ministers hadn’t expected this secluded Grand Princess to possess such eloquence. Previously they’d often heard she was timid, yet discussing major civilian affairs she showed no confusion. However, her sharp opposition angered these arrogant ministers. Xie Daozhi looked away haughtily: “Your Highness favors them from personal feelings, but we subjects cannot show womanish compassion. Under heaven, naturally the capable bear more responsibility. If everyone sets aside duty seeking only self-preservation, the state would cease being a state—is this what Your Highness wishes to see?”
Wanwan’s expression changed with anger. She’d long known these Cabinet ministers were muddled, but such recklessness truly proved that like ruler, like ministers.
She laughed in extreme anger. “Is Minister Xie saying I act from personal favoritism? I personally inspected Huaining’s disaster situation—has Minister Xie been there? Officials corrupted and embezzled one hundred thousand shi of grain—the Prince of Nanyuan wept helplessly. Has Minister Xie witnessed this? Jiangnan as a land of fish and rice—just because of this phrase, the people there pay higher taxes than elsewhere, must contribute tribute grain, relieve disaster victims, and support the navy while maintaining ships. When the court pressures princes, ultimately the people suffer. Princes may have preferences, but do the people have preferences too? Please don’t push heavy burdens onto Nanyuan because of governmental incompetence—doing so is tantamount to destroying the Great Wall. Once you’ve exhausted the last accumulated resources, when troubles arise, where will provide backup?”
In such debates, her status couldn’t be considered. Xie Daozhi also confronted her directly, declaring loudly: “Your Highness is a woman—you shouldn’t discuss major state affairs, but since we’ve spoken of this today, let’s thoroughly debate it. Nanyuan has always been the court’s greatest worry. The Yuwen clan has dominated Jiangnan for over two hundred years. The Sacred Ancestor once said Qi people are skilled fighters and must be guarded against. The court’s vigilance toward Nanyuan doesn’t relax because the Grand Princess married down. Now while divine land suffers famine everywhere, only Nanyuan’s granaries overflow. Your Highness defending Nanyuan so—besides suspecting Your Highness of fierce husband-protection, we subjects must harbor other concerns. Your Highness claims to love people like children, yet only cares for Nanyuan’s populace. Watching Nanyuan grow powerful like this—could you harbor thoughts of usurping the state!”
Wanwan had never suffered such injustice. Anger overwhelmed her—she felt her chest suddenly pounding, hands and feet turning cold, nearly unable to stand and about to collapse. She was both furious and heartbroken that the Cabinet could say such things before her—they must have instilled much poison before the Emperor, hence the drama of detaining her as hostage. What should she do? How could she escape this hateful circle? Without their skill at calling deer horses, she could only remain at disadvantage forever.
Seeing the situation becoming uncontrollable, the Emperor sternly shouted “Outrageous!” pointing at Xie Daozhi for a thorough scolding: “As Chief Minister, you waste all your ability arguing with women—even I feel ashamed for you! Northern armies need military pay—don’t target Nanyuan. You Cabinet ministers figure it out. If you can’t, pack your bags and go home to mind children! Still standing here for what—want the Embroidered Uniform Guards to escort you out? Get lost and stop angering Her Highness!”
The two Cabinet ministers slunk out of Chengguang Hall, exchanging glances at the door and shaking their heads.
The Emperor temporarily changed his mind for no other reason than Wanwan. Seeing her mental state wasn’t right—iron-gray complexion, appearing ready to collapse. He hurried to support her, saying urgently: “Sister, catch your breath, don’t frighten me. I scolded them—I’ll approve none of their memorials. Be happy—I’ll listen to everything you say… Ah, sister, breathe quickly, breathe!”
He embraced her, letting her lean on his shoulder while comforting and gently patting her back.
She took a long time to calm before crying, saying brokenly: “Second brother, why… why must you treat me this way? We’re… born of the same mother!”
The Emperor was helpless, constantly apologizing: “Brother did wrong—don’t be sad. Whatever you want to say, wait until you’re better. Cabinet proposals are their duty—approving them is mine. We’re blood siblings—you can tell brother your thoughts directly. Why make yourself so anxious!” He turned to call Chong Mau: “Quickly summon the imperial physician to examine Her Highness’s pulse.”
Wanwan grasped his hand: “Don’t suppress Nanyuan anymore—brother, heed one piece of advice.”
“Yes, yes, yes.” The Emperor repeatedly agreed. “All according to your wishes.”
“I also beg brother—let me return to Nanyuan to be with my husband.” She placed all hope in this, looking intently at him. “I miss Liangshi. If I can’t see him again, I fear I won’t survive.”
The Emperor’s gaze fixed on her face as if he’d never known her, looking again and again, trying to discern something from those bright eyes. Seeing his hesitation, Wanwan thought there was hope and rallied her spirits. But after a long while he turned away, impatiently calling: “Chong Mau, why hasn’t the imperial physician arrived yet!”