Before Qin Chang Ge could arrive, Yu Zixi had already called from horseback: “Prime Minister! Come back! Haven’t you seen ham before? You’re embarrassing me!”
Prime Minister raised his head, yanked once, and with extremely precise force tore the paper string binding the ham. The entire greasy ham package fell into its mouth.
Unfortunately, some paste from the paper wrapping stuck to Baozi’s pants. Prime Minister increased its effort, turning its head to pull viciously!
Rip! Baozi’s pants immediately acquired a skylight, revealing a hole the size of the ham.
Prime Minister held the piece of fabric in its mouth, spitting it out with disgust.
Baozi, knocked down by Prime Minister, suddenly felt cool wind on his body—an extremely refreshing sensation. He immediately understood that a catastrophic pants-ripping incident had occurred. With infinite grief and indignation, his face covered in dust, he raised his head and glared viciously at Yu Zixi. Having already felt humiliated by screaming when the vicious dog attacked, being stripped further filled him with shame and fury. He, Crown Prince Xiao, had spent his life traversing the capital with fame throughout Western Liang, beloved by all who saw him, flowers blooming wherever he went. When had he ever suffered such humiliation? His graceful bearing, romantic charm, spring beauty that couldn’t be contained, like pear blossoms overwhelming crabapple—all destroyed by this dog!
Baozi ground his teeth, seeking a target for revenge.
This dog… was it the enemy dog? Fight it? Forget it… its size was quite formidable… its teeth looked very sharp…
This person… was the enemy! Every encounter with him brought trouble! Moreover, it seemed his stinky mother had said this sissy didn’t kill women and children?
Baozi locked onto his target and immediately acted decisively. Pushing away guards who came to help, he patted dust off his knees and stood up. First, he pulled off a guard’s wide belt and hastily tied it around his waist to barely cover his shame, then pointed at Yu Zixi and roared: “Strip this woman’s clothes!”
!!!
The entire street collapsed in shock.
Then the crowd erupted in excited clamor.
The most explosive event of early fourth year of Qian Yuan was happening before their eyes!
Prince Yu driving dogs to chase people wasn’t unusual, nor was the chased person fleeing in embarrassment—it happened two or three times monthly. But for the chased person to mistake the demon-star-descended Prince Yu for a woman and demand to strip his clothes in the street—that was truly unusual. For such a bold, fearless victim-turned-avenger to be a four or five-year-old child made it unusual enough to discuss for a year.
Life was prosperous… living was worry-free… long peace bred loneliness… finally, there was a show to watch!
The crowd surged forward—some moving stools, some finding positions, some buying sunflower seeds—bustling with activity. Three people fought over stepped feet, four over bumped heads, five over the best viewing spots, staging a full martial arts display before the main parties even began fighting…
The guards stood stunned, looking at each other helplessly.
While Prince Yu didn’t recognize them, they certainly knew him. To attack this prince—renowned as Western Liang’s greatest beauty and deadliest demon—meant facing his world-famous, allegedly ruthless Red Armor Guard who supposedly killed countless people. They feared they might not live to see tomorrow’s sun. But the Crown Prince’s orders couldn’t be disobeyed, and his identity couldn’t be revealed. What to do?
The guards swallowed nervously, hesitating. A crowd of troublemakers who’d waited long without seeing the show start began jeering.
“Damn! All thunder, no rain? We’re waiting here!”
Seeing the guards’ hesitation, Baozi flew into rage, grabbing Eastern Palace Guard Captain Liu Yunzhou by the collar and whispering viciously: “You won’t go? Will you or won’t you? If you don’t go, tomorrow I’ll make your name come true!”
“This servant is too dull… doesn’t understand the Crown Prince’s meaning…”
“Exile to Yunzhou!”
“…”
Liu Yunzhou was originally Deputy Captain of Longzhang Palace guards, always at odds with his superior. After the Crown Prince’s investiture, he was transferred to become Eastern Palace Captain, responsible for His Highness’s safety. He’d always wondered how such good fortune fell to someone like him who was never favored. Being promoted to the proper position, and with the Crown Prince raised among civilians presumably lacking royal arrogance, he should be easy to serve—truly a good assignment… He’d taken the post happily, thinking he’d lucked into something good. He hadn’t reported for duty during the investiture ceremony, only vaguely hearing of this lord’s great achievements without taking it seriously. Following this lord for a month, aside from being somewhat gluttonous, lazy, cunning, and full of bad ideas… everything else seemed fine…
Wiping sweat from his forehead, Liu Yunzhou finally understood the meaning behind his bastard former captain’s gloating smile when he was transferred.
“This servant dares not—we’re willing to be crushed to pieces for Your Highness. Beating someone is nothing… But Your Highness, this is Prince Jing’an. If you assault a court minister over a small matter, His Majesty might be displeased if he learns…”
“Idiot!” Baozi rolled his eyes in frustration. “Didn’t you hear me say ‘woman’? I don’t even know if he’s male or female—how would I know he’s court minister Prince Jing’an? Whatever you just said, I didn’t hear!”
“…”
An unlucky master! Grief beyond words!
Liu Yunzhou looked up at the sky, tears streaming down, finally rolling up his sleeves helplessly. I’m the master’s servant—loyalty is my duty. Besides, one is His Majesty’s beloved general, the other His Majesty’s only son. The relationship hierarchy is clear at a glance. If I die heroically, His Majesty will provide some compensation, right? Step back further—if nothing happens and the Crown Prince is greatly pleased, my future days will be easier…
Moreover, if he can play dumb… why can’t I?
With a wave of his arm, Liu Yunzhou shouted: “Brothers! Strip this woman! Tie her up for the young master as a bedwarmer!”
The crowd surged again with a roar, pushing back Qin Chang Ge, who had nearly reached her target.
Look at this extraordinary affair! How were this family’s eyes grown? The young master mistook the gender, and the servants did too? Bedwarmer? Facial grooming? Chief maid? Concubine? Aunt? Prince Jing’an?
What kind of combination was this?
Troublemakers began ogling Yu Zixi’s snow-white skin and seductive red lips, fantasizing in their minds about the prince being forced into women’s clothing and tender submission…
So exciting, so exciting…
Liu Yunzhou led his men charging forward with battle cries.
“Clap!”
Eighteen Red Armor Guards eternally protecting Yu Zixi spurred their horses forward one step in unison.
Hoofbeats rose and fell together, landing as one sound. Under exquisite horsemanship control, the hoof sounds rang sharp and clear, raising arrogant clouds of dust.
“Clang!”
Eighteen bright swords unsheathed simultaneously, cutting eighteen fan-shaped light screens in mid-air. With thunder and wind, they split the air and pointed forward boldly!
Eighteen faces showed iron expressions, their cold, sharp gazes behind half steel masks inhuman. These hundred-times-forged Red Armor warriors had each crawled from seas of blood and mountains of corpses. Their countless scars were like accumulated medals. The blood-scent and killing intent that could never be washed away pressed outward silently, perceptible from several zhang away. Compared to them, the guards who lived comfortably in the deep palace seemed too wealthy, refined, and tender-skinned.
The atmosphere immediately became murderous and heavy, with blood-scent faintly pressing toward the crowd!
The people couldn’t laugh anymore. The guards felt even more apprehensive. Though their martial arts weren’t weak, their status meant they rarely fought others. Now directly facing these world-famous, allegedly ruthless, cold-blooded iron men who killed without blinking, under the oppression of their reputation and killing intent, their faces paled and legs weakened.
The eighteen guards stepped forward again in unison, swords ringing!
Killing intent overwhelming—approach and die!
This formed sharp contrast with Yu Zixi behind the eighteen guards, who smiled brilliantly as if unrelated, chin propped, watching the show with interest.
But Yu Zixi soon couldn’t smile anymore.
“Darling! You’ve made me search so hard!”
A mournful cry!
The guards and people throughout the street, being pressed breathless by the eighteen iron cavalry’s steely killing intent, faces pale with mutual glances, immediately turned their gazes toward the sound.
A poor scholar in blue cloth clothing, with carefully mended but visible patches, carrying a heavy book bag, circled behind the eighteen guards confronting the palace guards. Hair disheveled, arms spread in mournful cries, face full of grief, body covered in dust, he rushed toward Yu Zixi, who had dismounted and was leaning casually against a street wall!
Dezhou scholar Zhao Moyan—this figure destined to cause great repercussions throughout Western Liang, disturb the entire court and even the continent, become universally revered and worshipped, become an eternal mystery studied by future historians for his strange rise and mysterious disappearance—made his first appearance before Western Liang capital citizens with such grandeur, such horror, such infinite charm and unforgettable distinction, raising the curtain.
Many, many years later, citizens fortunate enough to witness this event would sit under ancient banyan trees in their courtyards, toothlessly mumbling, eyes narrowed, telling their great-great-grandchildren for the thousandth time with infinite longing:
“…Back then, he… directly tackled the most beautiful, most demonic man in all the capital…”
…
On the great street, before ten thousand eyes, poor scholar Zhao Moyan rushed toward Yu Zixi with excitement, sadness, infinite nostalgia, and eyes full of peach blossoms.
“Darling! When we spoke by the bamboo window in that humble room, intimate before the bright moon, you personally told me, ‘I wish to be the silk vine clinging to the tall tree, not betraying this life or the next.’ Those words still ring in my ears, yet you cruelly married another! I fell ill for three years because of you, missing last year’s autumn examinations. I knelt before your door for three nights before your father told me you’d married into the capital. I wept blood beyond words, studied behind closed doors, sold family property for this year’s spring examinations—all for one obsessive hope of seeing you once more. Heaven took pity… finally let me see you!!!”
Zhao Moyan—no, this year’s Academy Award Best Actress winner Qin Chang Ge—grabbed Yu Zixi’s precious fire-red Huainan smoky brocade sleeves worth their weight in gold, vigorously wiping her freely flowing snot and tears. While moving close to Yu Zixi’s ear in an extremely intimate, yearning posture, she whispered quietly: “Your Highness… His Majesty has ordered that during spring examinations, scholar safety is state-protected. Killing or injuring innocent scholars is punishable as deceiving the sovereign… Mm… will you kill me? Will you? Will you? Will you?”
“Biyao!” This year’s Academy Award Best Supporting Actor, disguised Mr. Qi Heng, squeezed through: “Who is this man? Your lover? You street-fornicating harlot!”
…
The street’s people had stopped thinking.
Did the sun rise from the west today? Would Western Liang have an earthquake?
Why was it that one by one, two by two, three by four… everyone failed to recognize the famous Prince Jing’an? Everyone mistook Prince Jing’an for a woman?
Poor scholar and rich young lady, secret engagement and abandonment, the heartbroken scholar spurned by a gold-digging, heartless woman studying hard for spring examinations, coincidentally encountering his beloved, but misfortunes never come singly—the wealthy legitimate husband arrives to catch adultery…
What a story perfectly matching human imagination and reasoning ability…
Could Prince Jing’an really be hiding his true nature, actually a woman?
It made sense—what man could be so beautiful?
Eyes turned in unison toward Yu Zixi’s chest.
Any curves?
…
With an angry roar, the eighteen guards, shocked into forgetting thought and fighting by Qin Chang Ge’s masterstroke, finally realized the situation and charged forward with unified shouts.
Quick-thinking Liu Yunzhou immediately waved his hand, leading guards to engage them.
Not fighting head-on, but entangling desperately, they managed to tie down the heavy-armored guards.
…
Yu Zixi, pinned down by Qin Chang Ge, probably felt the fun had gone far enough and didn’t want to continue. His eyes full of amused interest as he looked up and down at Qin Chang Ge, he suddenly began breathing deeply.
Qin Chang Ge cried inwardly and immediately shouted regardless of everything.
“Darling, I’ve borne the empty name of lovesickness for nothing, gaining no benefits. Better to die under peony flowers—even as a ghost, I’d be romantic!”
Leaning down, bowing her head, she kissed those flower-like red lips below her!
!!!
Western Liang citizens were struck by living thunder, hair standing on end.
“Howl!!!” Someone couldn’t contain their excitement, wolf-howling to the clouds.
“Smack!” Someone couldn’t handle such powerful, fragrant, unreasonable stimulation and fainted.
…
Qin Chang Ge pressed down hard on Yu Zixi, quietly placing her hand over his lips to separate them from her own, then used her head to completely block his breathing. She’d heard Yu Zixi’s secret from Xiao Jue: Yu Zixi’s martial arts were extraordinary. His divine skill, once perfected, left his entire body without weaknesses or vulnerable points, with endless circulation. Once he began fighting, even Su Xuan, who claimed to be world’s best, might only defeat but not touch him. This was why eighteen guards didn’t protect him in a protective circle—he simply didn’t need it. But his “Flowing Cloud Divine Skill” had one weakness: reportedly, when the initial breath of true qi circulated completely at the beginning, if blocked, his martial arts couldn’t function, losing eighty percent effectiveness. But ordinary people couldn’t detect or know about this initial breath’s circulation.
Unfortunately, Qin Chang Ge wasn’t ordinary, and unfortunately, Yu Zixi was too fond of games and too careless. Curious to see what tricks this scholar would play, he let him press close and move freely, then at the crucial moment, capsized in the gutter.
Now they had a wall behind them, and “legitimate husband” Qi Heng’s body blocked most of the front view. From others’ angles, it looked like this sour scholar was forcibly kissing Prince Jing’an.
Oh no—like a lovesick man, too excited and fearless to care, forcibly kissing his “darling” before her legitimate husband.
Qin Chang Ge narrowed her eyes with an ambiguous smile.
Ridiculous… I’m not only a virgin but also a kissing virgin. This first kiss is quite precious—how could I waste it on a street, in such an unromantic place, making out with this arrogant fellow before a crowd?
At an angle no one could see, Qin Chang Ge smiled at Yu Zixi, fearlessly meeting his rippling, seductive eyes that danced with interest and inquiry. With her fingers, she gently and provocatively caressed his lips, already bewitching in color like cherry buds and peach petals, becoming even more brilliantly stunning… As his smile grew more enchanting yet tinged with killing intent, Qin Chang Ge whispered: “Deceiving the sovereign… I know you’re not afraid of that charge, but you have things to do. Being imprisoned would be very troublesome… Ah… will you kill? Will you? Will you?”
With a light laugh, Qi Heng approached casually. Under Qin Chang Ge’s cover, he pressed several pressure points on Yu Zixi, then grabbed Qin Chang Ge and cursed viciously: “You mad fool! Dare molest my wife in the street! I’ll kill you!!!” With crashes and bangs, he dragged Qin Chang Ge around the wall corner for a fierce beating.
As soon as the two rounded the corner, they immediately kicked up clouds of dust, shouted a few times, then slipped into a nearby alley. People on the street craned their necks desperately to watch, seeing only rolling dust and hearing faint screams. All showed excited expressions. Turning back, they saw Prince Jing’an still collapsed softly in the wall corner, motionless and speechless, as if still “savoring” that kiss, causing amazement—why was this demon king so easy-going today? Molested like that yet not killing anyone? Could this be real? Could the prince truly have been cross-dressing all along? Some remembered the famous “General Chaofeng” from the previous dynasty, who was indeed a cross-dressing woman for many years until marriage revealed the truth!
Ah, ah, ah—a shocking secret discovered by them!
Qin Chang Ge, having just disappeared around the corner into the alley depths, stopped and took a deep breath, cursing hatefully: “Xiao Rong!”
“Present!”
Voice and person arrived together. A beautiful big head emerged from the alley’s end, eyes squinted into crescents from smiling. Seeing her approach, he spread his arms and immediately flew into her embrace joyfully—Mother, you were so romantic, so graceful, so satisfying, so roguish…
Ugh!!!
Heaven and earth suddenly flipped. The dirty alley ground rushed before her eyes. A cat that had been following behind suddenly made eye contact—”Meow!” The cat let out a sharp cry, expressing severe discomfort at the suddenly appearing dark eyeballs, then fled with tail between legs…
“Hey, Mother,” Baozi worked hard to turn his head, smiling ingratiatingly at his stinky mother who had flipped him upside down on her knee, head down, feet up. “What are you doing? I don’t need that… massage thing.”
“I’m killing your Crown Prince arrogance!” Qin Chang Ge snapped irritably, smacking the troublemaking Crown Prince’s dignified posterior. “Making me clean up your mess, making me directly confront that demon, ruining my plan to appear quietly in a new identity without drawing attention, wuu…”
Baozi carefully glanced at his mother. Normally she lazily and sinisterly disciplined people, but today she was so depressed she wanted to spank him. Looks like he really had ruined her plans, wuu…
“Well, our people couldn’t beat them anyway, and if we can’t win we can run, so why did you charge out? I thought you wanted to take advantage of him…”
Qin Chang Ge set her son on the ground, frowning: “Advantages are everywhere—why risk taking them? Do you think I’m like you? Also, you seem to have made the mistake of underestimating enemies again. Do you think your group of guards who’ve never bloodied their hands are matches for the Red Armor Guards who’ve killed countless people? If they really fought, could they escape? Didn’t you see how every step and movement of theirs followed patterns? In a real fight, they’d have an eighty percent chance of death. If your guards died on the street because of your reckless order, how would you handle it?”
“You’re no longer a coffin shop owner’s son—you’re the Crown Prince. Your every word and action affects court politics and governmental systems.” Founding Empress Qin Chang Ge helplessly crouched in the small alley educating the new Crown Prince. “I charged out not just because so many lives might die innocently from your command, but more because if guards died at Red Armor hands, the consequences would be incalculable. You must know many guards also come from official families. If they died, it would at least affect court politics, causing disputes among court ministers. Then factional struggles, alliances, and confrontations would turn court politics into complete chaos. How would your father handle it? At worst, it would make founding generals and border troops feel injustice for Yu Zixi, who’s deeply revered in the military, developing alienation, thinking it’s ‘killing the dog after catching the rabbit, destroying the bow after shooting the bird’—imperial family conspiracy. Then with someone’s manipulation, fanning flames and lighting fires… followed by raising banners, killing some local officials for sacrifice, firing cannons, and proclaiming to the world ‘The emperor is immoral—heaven’s mandate passes to the worthy!’ Mm… would you then open a pastry shop or coffin shop? Or directly use that three-foot-three-inch coffin from the shop that perfectly fits your size?”
“…”
Baozi looked up tearfully. Stinky Mother, please don’t be so good at extrapolation, so terrifying, okay? It was clearly just a small pants-ripping incident—how did your explanations turn it into a national crisis and mortal danger, with listeners frequently nodding in agreement?
Patting dust off her clothes, Qin Chang Ge resumed her usual elegant laziness, saying lightly: “Son, think carefully. Mother can’t charge out to forcibly kiss handsome men every time. Too much kissing causes problems. Someday you’ll have to face the world directly. Wind rises from green grass tips, extending thousands of li to sweep all directions. Some things initially appear in extremely small, ordinary states, but when you ignore them and handle them casually, the powerful destructive force and influence they display will equally be beyond your wildest imagination… Politics especially so. If you were an ordinary child, Mother wouldn’t bother saying all this today. But you’re my future Western Liang ruler. Careful action and thought must be remembered in your heart. If you can’t remember, Mother won’t hesitate to use blood to wake you up—just don’t cry then.”
“I will cry,” Baozi said solemnly this time, “so no need, thank you.”
“Mm…” Qin Chang Ge slowly gazed toward Tianqu Avenue, destined to become Prince Jing’an’s lifelong regret, saying mournfully: “My political career path won’t be peaceful now…”
White stone pavilions, blue stone paths. At the path’s end, clusters of three-colored camellias bloomed luxuriantly—pure white, pale red, and bright red mixed together, pure and charming, brilliant as clouds and mist.
White gold silk curtains hung from the pavilion, embroidered with black-gold twin dragons. Chess-playing figures were faintly visible through them.
“Zixi,” Xiao Jue casually placed a stone, lifting his thick, long lashes to glance at his beloved general, asking very casually: “Are court salaries too low?”
“No.”
“Did raising too many dogs take your food money?”
“Just killed a batch for meat—now I’m taking theirs.”
“Been too lonely lately?”
“Your Majesty, what does ‘lonely’ mean?”
“Oh…” Xiao Jue changed topics, asking even more casually: “Any interesting events recently?”
Carelessly capturing the emperor’s piece, Yu Zixi smiled: “Your Majesty’s chess is truly awful today—interesting events? Yes.”
“Oh?” Xiao Jue’s eyes brightened.
“Princess Ying’s household servant fell for Duke Qing’s maid across the street. They eloped together.”
“…Zixi, you told me that last month.”
“Really?” Yu Zixi simply stopped playing, propping his chin in contemplation. “Could it be that my Prime Minister has started feeling romantic lately, but actually fell for that yellow mutt from the tofu seller’s across the street?”
Throwing down his piece, Xiao Jue also stopped playing, leaning back with a smile: “Fine, very interesting. Since you’re neither poor nor can rack your brains for anything more interesting, I won’t ask anymore. But can you directly tell me—you’ve been hanging around the palace since morning until evening, playing with the Crown Prince’s toys, reading my books, eating my food, stealing my snacks, dragging me around all day. Since it’s not because you lack food or have good news to share, what exactly do you want?”
Xiao Jue’s hateful gaze shot over like knives—you cling, you cling, you cling so much I can’t leave the palace. Sigh… Chang Ge said she needs to study, not letting me see her for several days…
Blinking, Yu Zixi smiled more charmingly than the lush, magnificent, noisy camellias blooming outside the pavilion. Lightly, absolutely shockingly, he answered:
“I want to be chief examiner.”