HomeA Love ConfessionChapter 1: Confession

Chapter 1: Confession

At six in the morning, sparrows on the telephone poles flapped their wings, breaking the tranquility at the mouth of the alley. Due to a rain that had just fallen the night before, osmanthus flowers were scattered all over, like an overturned honey jar, flowing on the wet ground.

Moisture seeped through the window cracks. Xu Sui lay sprawled on the desk, her shoulders unconsciously shrinking. She struggled to lift her head and rubbed her face with her hands to make herself more awake.

Yesterday, Xu Sui had just completed two surgeries and worked an overnight shift until now. Her long black eyelashes couldn’t hide the fatigue beneath her eyelids.

In the washroom, Xu Sui held mint-flavored mouthwash in her mouth, turned on the faucet, cupped some water in her hands, and simply washed her face.

At 7:50, people in the department gradually increased, everyone greeting each other good morning. Xu Sui quickly finished a croissant just in time, with black coffee beside her. Someone took it away and replaced it with a bottle of milk.

Xu Sui looked up to see the new intern, a male student who scratched his head embarrassedly: “Dr. Xu, drinking coffee all the time is bad for your health.”

“Thank you.” Xu Sui smiled. She glanced at the time, “Let’s go, it’s time for rounds.”

Most patients in the inpatient department liked having this Dr. Xu do rounds – gentle, patient, and she would listen to their occasional complaints.

Several interns followed behind Xu Sui as she made rounds room by room. Her white coat fluttered at the corner, and following the line of sight, on the left side of her chest was pinned a blue badge – Puren Hospital, Surgeon Xu Sui.

When making rounds to a young woman, this patient had just had her appendix removed two days ago. Xu Sui specifically gave her extra instructions about dietary restrictions and rest.

The young girl was young, and shortly after surgery, she had regained her previous vitality. She looked up with big eyes and said she would die if she kept eating such bland food.

“Dr. Xu, can I drink bubble tea?” the young girl asked cautiously.

Xu Sui held her pen over the blue folder, looked up to meet a pair of expectant eyes, and relented: “A little bit.”

“Why? But I really want to drink Yi He Tang.” The girl’s eyes showed distress.

“…”

The interns behind couldn’t help but laugh. Xu Sui spoke expressionlessly, her voice carrying a hint of cruelty: “Now you can’t even drink a little bit.”

The girl belatedly realized what had happened and said regretfully: “I was wrong, doctor!”

After finishing rounds, Xu Sui walked back to the office with her hands in her pockets. In the corridor, she encountered her longtime mentor, who was also the director of surgery.

“Xiao Xu, just finished rounds?” the other person asked her.

“Mm,” Xu Sui nodded. Seeing that the director seemed to have something to say, she took the initiative to ask, “Teacher, is there something you need?”

“You’ve been really busy lately, you’re the most hardworking one in this department, you have that drive I had back in the day,” Dr. Zhang smiled, his face kind, “but you also need to balance work and rest. Your mother even called me, asking me to worry about your major life events.”

Xu Sui was stunned, not expecting that her repeated refusals of blind dates had resulted in her mother finding the director to pressure her. She steadied herself: “Teacher, do you know what my mom’s dream is after reaching middle age?”

“What?”

“To be a matchmaker, starting with me for practice.” Xu Sui pointed at her innocent self.

“You child,” Director Zhang laughed out loud, his tone helpless, then suddenly changed the subject, “There’s a young man in the family compound where I live who’s quite nice, good conditions too…”

Xu Sui’s eyes swept over him, changing the subject: “Teacher, how come I smell cigarette smoke on you? Quite strong.”

Everyone at the hospital knew that Dr. Zhang was skilled and authoritative, but also famously afraid of his wife. Dr. Zhang’s wife was the head nurse in pediatrics and often came to check on him. Every time his wife smelled cigarette smoke on him, she would threaten that if it weren’t for considering that his hands could still be used to save lives, she would want to break his hands.

“I haven’t had time to smoke today, it might be from patients’ family members,” Dr. Zhang grabbed his collar and sniffed, looking panicked, “I won’t say more, I need to go wash my hands first.”

After the teacher left, it was finally 11 AM and Xu Sui got off work. She went home to catch up on sleep, sleeping so deeply that when she woke up, the sky had completely darkened, and neon lights were twinkling in the distance.

Xu Sui spaced out for a while, then got up to close the window. She connected her phone to the speaker via Bluetooth and played a very intense rock song, standing on a pressure point board to relax.

Most people think standing on a pressure point board would be very painful, but for Xu Sui, it was a good way to relieve stress. Her phone made a “ding” sound. Xu Sui had broken out in a slight sweat and sat directly on the pressure point board to get her phone.

Her mother had sent a long string of messages, meaning she should go on a blind date.

Cloud Light Breeze: [This young man is really good, two years older than you, and he’s a lawyer, a successful person who’s also good-looking. The matchmaker says he’s responsible and excellent.]

Cloud Light Breeze: [Go meet him tomorrow? Don’t make excuses, I know you don’t have to work the night shift tomorrow evening.]

Cloud Light Breeze pushed a contact card to you. Xu Sui clicked on the other person’s avatar and complained: [This kind of photo pose with arms crossed over the chest doesn’t look like a successful person, more like someone in sales.]

When Xu Sui’s mother saw Xu Sui deflecting, she knew she was trying to get away with it like usual – this attitude was problematic. Xu Sui’s mother was somewhat angry and was too lazy to type this time, sending a series of deadly voice messages.

Cloud Light Breeze: [You’re 27 now, almost an old maid, how can you still act like you’re not in a hurry?]

Xu Sui replied: [Mom, I don’t really want to get married right now.]

At least that was her current thinking – being alone was relaxed and comfortable, plus Xu Sui’s work was busy, so she really didn’t have the energy to think about this matter.

Cloud Light Breeze: [Then what do you want to do?]

Before Xu Sui could reply, Cloud Light Breeze sent another message: [Do you want to become a nun?]

Xu Sui laughed and was about to reply when her phone screen suddenly popped up a notification from Zhihu. She clicked on it – after many years, someone was still liking her answer and replying to it.

The question was: “During your student days’ secret crush period, what was the most ridiculous thing you did?”

Xu Sui had answered on a whim, anonymously replying:

In my sophomore year of high school, a foreign movie was released that I particularly liked, so much so that I bought movie merchandise – a blue T-shirt.

On the first day wearing it to class, I suddenly discovered he was also wearing a blue T-shirt. Although his was just an ordinary blue T-shirt, my heart beat obviously, and I secretly thought it was a couple’s outfit.

Maybe God saw that my secret crush was too hard and specially sent me this sweet coincidence.

From then on, I often wore this shirt. I would even fantasize the night before whether he would wear a blue T-shirt the next day too. He sat in the second-to-last row, I sat in the second row from the front. Every day during morning classes, to get one more look at him, I would specifically enter through the back door, pretending to casually walk past him. Occasionally catching a glimpse of him lazily pillowed in his arms, hair messy, his lean shoulder blades protruding in blue shadows, my heart would beat abnormally fast, inexplicably happy all day.

Later I discovered that this shirt was something his girlfriend bought casually for 9.9 yuan at the supermarket to meet a purchase minimum. Such a carefree boy didn’t mind wearing it every day.

I suddenly became clear-headed, as if I understood one thing: he might never see me.

Xu Sui’s reply had been upvoted to first place, and many people replied below: “Not funny at all, I think it’s heartbreaking. Hugs, little sister.”

Xu Sui was stunned, looking at her answer from years ago and was about to hide it when a new reply popped up: “Do you still like him now?”

The soreness in her eyes gradually deepened. Xu Sui sat on the pressure point board, somehow feeling dense, numbing pain throughout her limbs and bones, making it hard to breathe.

Xu Sui didn’t reply, exited the app, and replied to her mother: [Okay.]

The next evening, Xu Sui deliberately dressed up. Following the address her mother gave her, she appeared at the restaurant where the other person was already waiting.

The other person was called Lin Wenshen, working at a law firm. He gave a much better impression than his photo had suggested to Xu Sui – his features were decent enough, and he was courteous with people.

The two chatted fairly well. After dinner, Lin Wenshen suggested taking a walk nearby. Xu Sui thought that since she had come out for a blind date, there was no need to be coy, so she nodded.

At ten PM, the moonlight was bright white. Xu Sui and Lin Wenshen walked side by side, occasionally exchanging words, the atmosphere fairly comfortable.

On the snack street, blue and red canopies formed a row. On the barbecue grill, eggplants were served on aluminum foil. The boss sprinkled cumin, and under the oil fire’s roasting, it made sizzling sounds. Nearby, charcoal-grilled saury gradually turned yellow, its fresh and tender aroma spreading everywhere.

Light bulbs hung overhead with fine dust floating around them in the dim light.

Cheng You brought a plate of skewers and sat down in front of the man. The two had drunk a little and began chatting sporadically. Cheng You handed him a beef skewer, his tone somewhat cautious: “Boss, don’t put too much pressure on yourself, this time… just consider it a rest.”

Zhou Jingze was biting into a skewer when he heard this, lifted his eyelids to look at him, and chuckled: “What pressure could I have?”

“Good if there isn’t any.” Cheng You breathed a sigh of relief.

Zhou Jingze sat across from Cheng You, his foot casually propped on the horizontal bar under the table. He had been sitting here for only a short while and had already attracted sidelong glances from several tables of girls nearby.

Yet he couldn’t even be bothered to lift his eyelids, a cigarette pinched between his fingertips, smoke slowly rising, roguishly handsome yet aloof.

Being with him, Cheng You already felt the attention from all directions and was extremely proud. Plus, he liked to ramble when drinking, with a bunch of nonsense: “Hey, boss, in these years as a pilot always flying around the world in the sky, I really haven’t looked carefully. When it comes to places with beautiful women, it’s still our Jingbei City.”

“Wow, look at those long legs.” Cheng You sighed.

Zhou Jingze didn’t even look up and coldly laughed: “Keep staring and I’ll tell your girlfriend.”

Cheng You sheepishly withdrew his gaze, but midway his eyes lit up as he pushed his arm: “Boss, look across – there’s a lovely one, clearly has southern features.”

Hearing the word “southern,” Zhou Jingze subconsciously looked up. A pair of jet-black eyes swept over, then he was stunned for a moment. The other person indeed had typical southern features – fair skin, a pair of bright almond eyes, wearing an apricot-colored knit dress with thin straps, revealing white shoulders.

“Tsk, she has a boyfriend, but you can tell from their atmosphere they just met, probably on a blind date. Both have refined temperaments though, quite a match.” Cheng You commented.

As Cheng You said this, he felt the surrounding air suddenly turn cold. He felt a bit panicked and glanced to see his brother had snapped a bamboo skewer in his hand without saying a word.

Xu Sui hadn’t noticed the commotion here and was walking shoulder to shoulder with Lin Wenshen through the snack street. Just as they were about to reach the end, sounds of struggle came from the alley entrance.

It turned out that an old woman selling sweet soup was being bothered by several drunk hooligans who were about to smash her stall, claiming the food tasted bad. Xu Sui had no intention of meddling, but the old woman’s pitiful pleading voice suddenly reminded her very much of her grandmother.

Just as Xu Sui was about to walk over, Lin Wenshen grabbed her, his tone shrewd: “Don’t go over there now, what if you get scammed by the hooligans or the old woman?”

“I like being scammed.” Xu Sui hooked the corner of her lips, then looked at Lin Wenshen’s hand holding hers. He embarrassedly let go.

The old woman was pushed to the ground by the lead hooligan. Xu Sui walked over to help her up, her voice calm: “How much money? I’ll compensate.”

The red-haired hooligan’s eyes lit up when he saw Xu Sui, his hands resting on her exposed shoulder skin: “Since the sister is pleading, let’s forget about this. Come have a drink with your brother.”

“Don’t… don’t mess around, I’m a lawyer… let go…” Lin Wenshen pushed his glasses, so nervous he couldn’t get a complete sentence out.

Seeing that Lin Wenshen was weak, the hooligans waved the iron rods in their hands and asked: “What, want to fight?”

Lin Wenshen stepped back, glanced at Xu Sui, and actually ran away.

The hooligan’s hand remained on Xu Sui’s shoulder, even brazenly caressing it. In less than a second, Xu Sui grabbed his wrist and twisted it backward, producing a “crack” sound.

“Damn, you fucking—” The red-haired guy painfully let go, his face completely darkening. He raised one palm, about to slap down when suddenly, out of nowhere, a slender hand with distinct knuckles intercepted the hooligan’s fist.

It was Zhou Jingze.

“I thought it was a woman’s hand, so soft and powerless.” Zhou Jingze’s tone was arrogant, utterly roguish.

This statement was tantamount to provocation. The other person swung with his free hand. Zhou Jingze dodged sideways, grabbed the red-haired guy’s arm, and with one punch sent him sprawling to the ground. The red-haired guy let out a painful scream.

Several people crowded together and immediately started fighting.

Xu Sui crouched down, helped the old woman up, helped her pack up her things, and silently sent her away.

The brawl came and went quickly. Zhou Jingze fought four alone, and the hooligans fled in defeat. Zhou Jingze stood under the streetlight, his long shadow stretching to her feet.

Only then did Xu Sui look up to carefully observe him.

Zhou Jingze wore a flight jacket with four stripes on the shoulder. His head and neck were straight with an oppressive presence, single eyelids, extremely short hair, sharp and distinct facial profile lines, with a fresh red blood mark still on his chin. A pair of jet-black, sharp eyes stared at her.

Xu Sui felt her heart suddenly contract under Zhou Jingze’s gaze and unconsciously stepped back. At this moment, a cool breeze blew, sending roadside leaves and garbage bags swirling precariously in the air.

Seeing her familiar reaction, Zhou Jingze pressed his tongue against his left cheek and snorted.

The man tilted his head and spat bloody saliva toward the trash can, then knocked out a cigarette from his pack. His slender fingertips twisted the cigarette butt, lowering his head to bite the cigarette as his silver lighter made a “click” sound.

Still that same devil-may-care, nonchalant appearance.

He was waiting for Xu Sui to speak first.

Xu Sui looked away, her tone surprisingly distant: “Thank you for tonight. I’ll be going now.”

After saying this, even Xu Sui was startled by her own reaction. She had imagined countless scenarios of them meeting, never expecting that when it really happened, they would skip even small talk.

Xu Sui turned to leave, but Zhou Jingze stepped closer. His tobacco scent was obvious, his sharp aura making it impossible to move.

From above, his shadow suddenly encircled hers. His eyelashes dropped down, casting a faint shadow under the light, his tone carrying a hint of gritted teeth:

“You’re on a blind date?”

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