When Shen Xiling woke again, she had already returned to Duke Yanguo’s Mansion. She lay in her own room, while outside the window was a rich and beautiful dusk. The setting sun was infinitely beautiful, red as fire, inevitably making one think of what had happened during the day at Zhemo Mountain, also causing Shen Xiling to feel somewhat dazed.
She propped herself up and sat up. Wan Zhu, who was outside the bed curtains, heard the movement and immediately helped her pull open the curtains, tearfully calling out “Madam” with tears in her eyes. Then Gu Jingqi, who had been waiting in the outer room, ran in, also crying as she rushed to Shen Xiling’s bedside.
The little girl called out “Sister-in-law” once, then said through tears: “Sister-in-law, what were you thinking running into the fire then? Didn’t you see that big brother had already come out? You nearly scared us to death! If big brother hadn’t rushed back in to save you, you would have…”
She didn’t say that word, but she had already become a tearful mess, showing she was truly frightened.
Shen Xiling’s expression was calm, having shed the madness she had displayed in the sea of fire today. Her eyes were somewhat deep, as if pondering something.
She comforted Gu Jingqi for a while, then asked her: “Good girl, where is your brother?”
Gu Jingqi sniffled and wiped her tears, answering through hiccupping sobs: “Big brother went to the palace after bringing sister-in-law back to the mansion, and just returned. He’s probably in the study now.”
Hearing this, Shen Xiling nodded, then touched Gu Jingqi’s head and said gently: “I’m going to say a few words to your brother. Jingqi, play by yourself for a while, alright?”
Gu Jingqi looked at her sister-in-law, always feeling that she was somehow different from usual. Although she was just as gentle as always, there was something faintly… an indescribable feeling that made her heart uneasy.
Gu Jingqi nodded hesitantly and stepped back from her sister-in-law’s bedside. Shen Xiling then slowly got down from the bed.
After getting up, she swayed, startling everyone around her, but fortunately she steadied herself by gripping the bed’s edge.
Wan Zhu said worriedly: “Madam, perhaps you should rest first. Whatever you need to say doesn’t have to be said today. When the doctor came today, he said Madam had inhaled smoke and needs to recuperate for some time.”
Hearing this, Shen Xiling showed no reaction and still got up to walk toward her dressing table.
Wan Zhu thought she wanted to dress up, but unexpectedly she only took out a few sheets of paper from the dressing table, then silently tucked them into her sleeve.
She knew that Madam had the habit of writing letters, but after writing them she never sent them out, just kept them one by one in her dressing table. When it couldn’t hold more, she would transfer them to trunks, with newly written ones placed back in the dressing table, never allowing anyone to look at them.
She didn’t know what Madam was holding in her hand at this moment, only saw her walking slowly toward the door, leaving behind without looking back: “None of you need to follow. I’ll go by myself.”
Duke Yanguo’s Mansion was very spacious. Walking from Shen Xiling’s room to Gu Juhan’s study would indeed take quite some time.
Actually, the residences of princes and nobles were all quite similar. For instance, Duke Yanguo’s Mansion was somewhat like the Qi family’s ancestral home, especially since after she moved here, she had intentionally or unintentionally made many changes to imitate the appearance of Fenghe Courtyard, making this place look more like those familiar places from her past.
But even so, she still felt this place was somewhat strange.
The servants along the way all respectfully bowed and greeted Madam when they saw her, while also wondering why there were no servants accompanying Madam. At the same time, they could see that she hadn’t dressed or arranged herself – though she was still very beautiful now, it wasn’t appropriate for walking outside.
Shen Xiling paid no attention to the scrutiny of those around her, only walking straight toward Gu Juhan’s study.
The door to his study was tightly closed, with Xu Chuan guarding outside. When he saw Shen Xiling, he was very surprised, probably not expecting her to come. After all, during their five years of marriage, she and Gu Juhan had always maintained respectful distance – they were really just two strangers with different surnames living under the same roof, rarely going to each other’s territory to disturb.
Xu Chuan was about to bow to her, but Shen Xiling waved her hand to excuse him, then called through the door: “General.”
A response quickly came from inside the room. Gu Juhan’s voice sounded very surprised: “Xiling?”
“It’s me,” Shen Xiling answered quietly. “May I come in?”
This time Gu Juhan didn’t answer as quickly. There came sounds of tidying up from inside the door, seemingly some clinking of bottles and jars. After a while, he said somewhat hurriedly: “Alright, come in.”
Shen Xiling then pushed open the door and entered, turning back to gently close the door behind her.
Gu Juhan’s study was different from Wangshi – it was neither as large nor did it have such abundant books. Being a military officer, most of his collection consisted of military strategy books and some historical records, with nothing else besides.
The medicinal smell in the room was very strong. Gu Juhan was standing beside his desk, on which were medicine bottles he hadn’t had time to put away, as well as a copper basin filled with water, with a dry cloth placed beside the basin. His clothes were somewhat disheveled, clearly hastily pulled together in his rush just now.
His expression was somewhat unnatural as he asked her: “…Why did you come over? Are you still feeling unwell?”
The reasons for his discomfort were probably quite complex: first, she had seen him with his clothes disheveled; second, after all, he had personally knocked her unconscious during the day, and he felt somewhat guilty.
Besides these, there seemed to be other unknown reasons, but Shen Xiling didn’t immediately investigate further. She just walked to his desk, glanced at the things on the table, then looked at him and asked: “General, were you just applying medicine?”
Gu Juhan still nodded uncomfortably.
Yes, he must be injured. Today when he rushed into the sea of fire to pull her out, he was struck by half a burning beam that had fallen, and he must have been wounded.
Shen Xiling was silent for a moment, asked him to sit in the chair while she remained standing, then said to him: “Let me take a look.”
This statement completely stunned Gu Juhan.
She… wanted to see his wounds?
He was a military officer born in troubled times, naturally often going to battle. Since she married him, he had gone on many campaigns, inevitably getting injured each time. She knew about it, but had never said she wanted to take a look. He knew there was a barrier between them that she would absolutely never cross, not even half a step, always strictly guarding that boundary.
But now she was saying she wanted to see his wounds.
Was it because she felt this injury was sustained for her sake, so she wanted to look?
Gu Juhan wasn’t quite sure, and felt that undressing in front of her made his palms sweat somewhat, so he declined: “This… is really not necessary. It’s just a minor injury, no need to worry.”
But Shen Xiling was very insistent. She didn’t say anything, just looked at him, and somehow that gaze could make him feel her stubbornness: she was determined to see.
Gu Juhan was somewhat surprised, and at the same time hadn’t expected that someday he too could receive such a stubborn gaze from her. His heart felt somewhat complicated.
He thought about it, and ultimately didn’t go against her wishes. He sat in the chair with his back to her, took off his upper garment, and exposed the wound on his back.
Gu Juhan came from a military family. Having practiced martial arts since childhood, his physique was more robust than ordinary people’s. Moreover, since his youth he had followed his father and uncles in campaigns north and south, accumulating many scars over the years, deep and shallow, crisscrossing on his body, as if telling the story of this person’s and even this family’s hardships.
How covered in scars he was.
And now, atop these old wounds, his back had gained a new wound – both an impact injury and a burn. That burning broken wood had scalded the skin on his back, leaving it red, swollen, bloody, and somewhat blackened and festering, looking quite gruesome.
Gu Juhan sat bare-chested with his back to Shen Xiling, yet seemed to feel her gaze constantly wandering over his back. This actually made him nervous, so much so that even his muscles tensed up and his breathing became uneven.
He struggled to maintain propriety hoping she wouldn’t notice anything amiss, while she remained silent, leaving him unable to know what she was thinking. At the same time, he couldn’t see her expression, making him even more ill at ease.
He coughed once, forcibly concealing his discomfort, and asked: “Are you frightened? This wound is probably quite horrifying…”
She didn’t respond quickly, remaining silent for a while before saying: “Why is the General applying medicine himself instead of calling a doctor?”
Gu Juhan laughed once, saying very casually: “It’s not that serious an injury, why make such a fuss?”
Indeed, such an injury really didn’t count as much in his view. He had sustained many injuries far more serious than this. Once on the battlefield, he was even pierced through the left shoulder by a Liang general’s blade – if he hadn’t dodged in time, that blade would certainly have struck his heart. With these experiences behind him, he had naturally long since become invulnerable to swords and spears, not taking such minor wounds to heart at all, even treating them entirely as ordinary scrapes.
But this was his thinking. Shen Xiling wouldn’t think this way. She knew Gu Juhan was injured because of saving her, so naturally felt deeply guilty about it.
She said: “…I’m sorry.”
Gu Juhan certainly didn’t want to hear such words from her, much less seek her gratitude. After hearing her apology, he immediately wanted to speak to dissuade her, but then he saw Shen Xiling extend those slender and beautiful hands to take the cloth beside the copper basin on the table.
…She seemed to want to treat his wound herself.
This behavior was somewhat delicate – given their relationship over these five years, it was both somewhat reasonable and somewhat transgressive, right on an ambiguous boundary. Gu Juhan’s composure became even more unstable for a moment, so much so that he didn’t have time to react. By the time he came to his senses, she had already wetted and wrung out the cloth and was gently wiping his wound.
Gu Juhan’s body became even more tense as a result.
The cloth soaked in water brought coolness, but where she wiped became burning hot. Clearly her hands hadn’t touched him, yet he still couldn’t help but… feel his heart flutter.
Apart from proper doctors, she was the first person to clean his wounds for him. And after he became an adult, unless it was a life-threatening injury, he would never entrust such matters to others at other times.
But now she was tending to him, making him feel, in a trance, some warmth.
…As if they were truly husband and wife.
He was really somewhat intoxicated. Even though he knew deeply that her current behavior was not out of love for him but merely due to guilt and gratitude, his originally tense body still gradually relaxed, and his heart also became somewhat soft.
At this time, he heard her behind him asking while wiping the wound: “I heard the General just returned from the palace. Are all the noble personages in the palace well?”
Her movements in cleaning the wound were gentle and skillful, making Gu Juhan feel quite comforted. He let her tend to him while answering: “All well. Fortunately, the fire didn’t spread to where His Majesty resided. Only Her Majesty the Empress was somewhat frightened, but everything else is fine.”
Shen Xiling responded with a low sound, casually put down the cloth, and instead picked up the medicine bottle. She carefully poured the powder inside onto her fingertips and gently applied it to Gu Juhan’s wound. Those slightly cool fingertips made even his breathing irregular.