Qi Ying hadn’t yet had time to figure out exactly what all of this was about when he saw his little girl covering herself with the quilt as she sat up, trying hard to shrink toward the corner of the bed.
When she got up, he inevitably saw her bare back – her porcelain skin was covered with kiss marks, and on her beautiful lower back were his fingerprints, which had even turned somewhat purple and blue by then…
He also saw the clear traces of her lost virginity on the bedsheets…
This…
Qi Ying couldn’t even spare time to sigh.
His mind was completely in chaos, only vaguely remembering that he had taken the powder last night, then had hallucinations. Could those dreams have all been real? Last night he had really done that to her…
The result seemed indisputable, after all his little girl was still curled up in the corner of the bed crying while looking at him.
Young Master Qi had truly never been in such a sorry state in his life, so much so that after a long while he couldn’t think of what to say. He could only hurriedly sit up and put on his clothes first. Who would have thought that when he turned his head, he would see Shen Xiling’s dress and undergarments scattered on the floor, all torn to pieces…
Qi Ying couldn’t help but close his eyes.
He coughed a few times, then turned back to look at Shen Xiling. The little girl was still curled up in the quilt, and her round, fair shoulders exposed outside the bedding also bore several kiss marks. Qi Ying slightly averted his gaze, pondered for a long while, still not knowing what to say, and could only first say: “Wenwen… don’t cry anymore.”
This was the most tear-inducing sentence in the world.
Sure enough, as soon as he finished speaking, Shen Xiling’s tears fell even more violently. Even someone unrelated to her would surely feel heartbroken seeing this, let alone Qi Ying. He wanted to reach out and embrace her, but was afraid she might be frightened, so his movement hesitated slightly. Fortunately, she was only focused on crying and didn’t really push him away, so he was finally able to take her into his arms.
Shen Xiling was exactly the same as when she was little – when no one coaxed her, she would be alone without crying or making a fuss and nothing would happen, but once he came to comfort her, she would cry endlessly instead.
It was just like that now.
The more she cried, the more involved she became. Her tears soaked his chest clothing completely through. Qi Ying couldn’t quite figure out the specific reason for her crying – was it because she felt wronged from being bullied by him last night? Or was she sad about those words he said during the day yesterday?
Or was it neither?
He really couldn’t be sure, and at this moment he also had a feeling of being constantly in the wrong. Besides holding her and gently patting her back to comfort her, he didn’t know what else to do.
Fortunately, the little girl was easy to coax – this hadn’t changed after all these years. After a while she stopped crying, only sniffling softly.
She pushed him away, left his embrace, and shrank back to the corner of the bed, wrapping the quilt tightly around herself. Those beautiful eyes of hers were downcast, not even looking at him, only saying: “Young Master, please find me some clothes. While it’s not yet fully dawn, I’ll leave right away.”
This was typical playing hard to get.
How could Shen Xiling want to leave? She wished she could stay by his side for life, but at this moment she deliberately said this, precisely because she was certain he would never let her leave again.
If it were before, with Young Master Qi’s perception, how could he not see through the little girl’s small schemes? But at that time his heart was truly in chaos, and he felt he owed her too much. For a moment he actually didn’t notice the little detours in her heart and took her words seriously.
He was indeed at a loss, even stunned for a moment, then asked: “…You want to leave?”
His passive appearance was quite novel. Shen Xiling actually wanted to look at him more, but she knew that not looking at him was most appropriate right now. She had to keep her head down and cry – only this way would he feel most sorry for her.
He couldn’t bear to see her cry the most.
Shen Xiling was secretly laughing inside, but on the surface she was proper and cold, even using the composure and pretense she had trained through years of doing business outside, saying very indifferently: “Naturally I must leave.”
She deliberately paused, then raised her eyes to look at Qi Ying, quietly adding: “Everything follows Young Master’s wishes.”
Qi Ying was speechless again.
Yesterday he had indeed insisted on wanting her to leave, wanting her to return to Gu Juhan’s side to receive his protection, but who knew such a thing would happen last night? Now they had already… Young Master Qi really developed a headache and couldn’t help but reach up to rub his brow, pondering for a long time before saying: “Wenwen, please allow me to think about this.”
Let me think about how to keep you safe now.
But Shen Xiling didn’t go along with his wishes. Her expression was indifferent, with a somewhat dismissive attitude, saying: “Young Master needn’t be so troubled. Everything that happened last night was merely an accident. I understand reason, and will absolutely not pester you again.”
She even smiled slightly, saying: “Young Master never owed me anything to begin with. Now we’re perfectly even. From now on I’ll let go of those so-called obsessions, and Young Master needn’t bother taking care of me anymore. Speaking of it, this is quite clean too.”
As she spoke, she pulled the quilt closer around herself, appearing even more distant from him.
As if she had completely severed all romantic ties.
Qi Ying’s heart felt sour, then a dull pain spread.
It seemed he had always been the one actively distancing himself between them. Even though his intention was for her good, the result inevitably hurt her feelings. She had always been chasing after him, trying hard to maintain the fading connection between them. Perhaps now she finally felt tired, and thus also had thoughts of leaving.
Indeed, it was he who had personally advised her to let go of her obsession, but now that she truly faced him with such a detached manner, his already wounded heart seemed to split open with a new wound, and even the little remaining warmth was rapidly flowing away.
Qi Ying took a deep breath, steadied his mind, looked at Shen Xiling again, and said: “Now that things between us have come to this, where else would you go? Back to the Duke’s mansion to find Gu Juhan?”
Hearing him mention Gu Juhan, Shen Xiling’s expression became even more indifferent.
She said: “It might have been fine before, but now that I’ve been defiled by another, how could I have the audacity to go back and dirty his family’s reputation? I’ll just find another place. In any case, I can still support myself.”
When she spoke, her expression was somewhat contemptuous, as if self-deprecating, which made him feel even more uncomfortable – he couldn’t bear to hear people speak badly of her, not even herself.
His brow furrowed even tighter, but before he could say anything, he saw her smile again, with a charming allure that was very different from usual.
She said: “Thinking carefully, it needn’t be so troublesome. The General originally knew about the old relationship between Young Master and me. Perhaps he long ago felt we weren’t innocent, but according to what Young Master said yesterday, the General still seems to like me. Perhaps I should go back and ask him for a definitive answer – what if he doesn’t mind?”
This was sarcasm – she was clearly mocking herself for being unclean.
Upon hearing this, Qi Ying couldn’t bear it anymore and simply pulled her into his arms, saying in a low voice: “Can you not speak of yourself this way? Last night was my fault. I will absolutely not shirk responsibility. You…”
But she pushed him away. Her strength wasn’t great, but she seemed very determined.
She looked up at him, saying: “Fault? No, Young Master has no fault. It’s I who was wrong. You clearly told me to leave, yet I came back anyway. I threw myself at you – I deserved it.”
She bit down hard on the words “deserved it,” truly appearing to despise herself, and this inexplicably made Qi Ying angry.
“Wenwen!”
His tone was very stern, but Shen Xiling wasn’t afraid at all. She still continued speaking without dodging or avoiding.
“I also don’t want Young Master to bear any responsibility,” she said stubbornly, lifting her head while her eyes reddened again. “It was merely one night’s mistake, yet you’d have to bear the burden of caring for me for a lifetime because of it – wouldn’t that be heavy? Even I find it quite meaningless. Better to do as I said – part ways cleanly, how good that would be.”
Her tears fell again.
Only then did Qi Ying understand – he had said the wrong thing.
She was a pure and innocent little girl, yet last night he had so carelessly taken her body. How could she not be afraid or feel wronged? Especially since yesterday during the day he had driven her away and said so many hurtful things to her.
And he had just now even said last night was a mistake. Naturally she would feel even more sad, and would misunderstand that he was only taking care of her out of responsibility, not because he truly loved her.
She had such a sensitive nature – hearing his foolish words, how heartbroken she must be.
Qi Ying understood now. Seeing her tears at this moment, his heart ached even more severely.
Disregarding her resistance, he once again held her tightly in his arms, saying in a low voice: “I misspoke. Last night between us wasn’t a mistake. I’m not because of…”
But Shen Xiling interrupted him again.
She struggled in his arms, insisting on pushing him away, her tears soaking the quilt.
She said: “You’re lying to me! You don’t love me at all, otherwise you could never bear to drive me away again and again. You’ve just always felt I was pitiful – it’s been like this since you found me ten years ago, and it hasn’t changed all these years! Our previous feelings were something I forced – you’ve never truly loved me!”
Just as yesterday he had denied her love for him, she now began to completely deny his love for her. And he finally experienced just how sad and powerless he would feel in the face of such questioning.
You can doubt everything else, but how can you doubt that I don’t love you?
He didn’t know how to plead his case to her, nor did he know what exactly to do to prove to her something so obvious, so natural. He felt very powerless, but she had far more to say.
“Young Master was right yesterday – it’s I who was stubborn and unenlightened,” she wiped away her tears, probably wanting to appear stronger, but actually looked even more fragile. “I was too foolish and too obstinate, always feeling that separation wasn’t the final outcome between us, always thinking that if I tried a little harder, saw you one more time, what difference would it make? The result of meeting again can only be one more parting. You were right – not everything in this world has an outcome. You’re not my outcome, and there will never be an outcome between us!”
She was returning his words from yesterday to him, sentence by sentence.
When the words came out, he hadn’t realized how hurtful they were, but now hearing them, they felt so sharp. These words were so cruel that even his usually hard and cold heart couldn’t help but be wounded beyond recognition – then what about her? When she heard him say these things yesterday?
Qi Ying truly regretted it. He grasped her wrists trying to embrace her again, but her struggle was even more intense than before.
She cried and said: “Now I’ve come to my senses. Why persist in things destined to have no outcome? Better not to want any of it, not want any of it at all! I’m leaving today and will never come looking for you again, never see you again in this lifetime. You won’t have to rack your brains thinking about how to hurt me and drive me away anymore. Let’s end it today, end it completely cleanly. Even if I’m so unlucky as to become pregnant, you needn’t worry that I’ll use the child to pester you in the future. I’ll definitely have the pregnancy terminated, and will never again cause you any trouble or problems. I…”
The more she spoke, the more agitated she became, but finally she couldn’t continue – Qi Ying had kissed her.
Author’s Note: Young Master Qi: …Never been so unreasonable in my whole life.
PS: Yesterday I was still locked at 55, it’s fine not to have the original version on the express train… there will be more later… sigh, I won’t post on other platforms anymore. I did receive various warnings through private messages before, so I’d better follow the rules and behave [Yes, I’m the most cowardly in the entire site [wuwu]