When Shen Xiling sat together with Qi Ying in the carriage heading from Fenghe Garden to the Qi family’s main residence, she still couldn’t help feeling anxious in her heart, even so nervous that she reverted to her childhood habit—fingers twisted together, appearing extremely restless and uneasy.

She couldn’t help but recall the words Qi Ying had said to her some days ago.

He had said: “Wenwen, let us marry.”

Thinking carefully about it, such a proposal was most appropriate and reasonable given their current relationship and circumstances, yet Shen Xiling didn’t know why she had been so stunned at the time, rendered speechless and unable to utter a word.

Only then did she realize… that she had never actually considered marrying Qi Ying in her heart.

She had appeared so surprised that it made Qi Ying also feel somewhat awkward. Though Young Master Qi now held great power and could control the entire court at will, when facing Shen Xiling he could not be so presumptuous. Her display of surprise made him momentarily uncertain of her attitude toward marriage, so he could only cautiously ask again: “What’s wrong, do you… not wish to?”

Of course Shen Xiling wasn’t unwilling, it was just… she didn’t know how to express it.

Perhaps it was because they had experienced too many hardships together, so now she had grown accustomed to suffering. In her heart she always vaguely felt that this was the natural state of things—good fortune like the bitter ending in sweetness didn’t seem like something that should befall her.

This notion was too deeply rooted; she herself wasn’t even clearly aware of it. At that moment she could only explain to Qi Ying in great confusion: “Hmm? Oh… no, how could I not wish to? It’s just…”

Qi Ying looked at her very gently: “Just what?”

His gentleness did not make Shen Xiling relax. She remained restless, thinking for a long while before continuing: “It’s just… I feel that we don’t actually need to marry…”

She had barely begun speaking when she saw Qi Ying’s brow furrow, so she hastily explained: “I mean that marriage actually has no meaning—it’s merely a formality. If two people have no affection, even with a marriage certificate they cannot last long, but if their love endures, even without anything they can still stay together forever…”

She looked at Qi Ying cautiously, her voice growing smaller and smaller: “I think between us, we need not be bound by such worldly ceremonies…”

At the time, after hearing her words, Qi Ying remained silent for quite a while. Shen Xiling didn’t know if he was somewhat angry, so she could only lower her head somewhat evasively.

She didn’t know why she was acting this way… Wasn’t marrying this man before her eyes the thing she had always most longed for? Yet now she was very much avoiding the matter—or perhaps what she was avoiding wasn’t the marriage itself, but many things behind this marriage.

For instance, if they were to marry, she would have to face his family. Five years ago she had made the Qi family’s situation even worse. She still remembered that time in the court when the real Fang Jun appeared before everyone’s eyes, the look of shock and anger in his father’s and elder brother’s eyes as they turned to look at her… She still felt very guilty about it and didn’t know how to face them.

Moreover, now she was already a woman marrying for the second time… Although she and Gu Juhan had been completely innocent, what would others think? Even if people didn’t dare voice criticism openly out of deference to Qi Ying’s power, what about behind the scenes? There would inevitably be gossip… She really didn’t want to be the subject of discussion, nor did she want Qi Ying to be involved in such troubles…

Rather than face so many complications, she truly preferred not to marry. Wouldn’t it be just as good for them to quietly stay together in Fenghe Garden as before? Why must they go through such turmoil…

Shen Xiling lowered her head and sighed silently, but then she was gently embraced by Qi Ying.

His arm encircled her waist, making her feel as though her entire being was enveloped by him—a wonderful sense of security.

“Wenwen,” she heard him say, “do you remember when we once spoke of eloping?”

She blinked, thinking how could she not remember this.

At that time the storm clouds had not yet gathered, the Northern Expedition had not yet begun, and he bore so many burdens, yet he was still willing to abandon everything and take her away.

She had never forgotten this decision of his and was constantly deeply moved by it.

She nestled in his embrace and nodded, then heard his voice calmly fall into her ears: “At that time I wanted to marry you, not because I greatly cared about the so-called status of husband and wife, but because I thought that if we had children, I would never let them suffer the hardships you endured in childhood.”

His tone was steady and gentle.

“I know Prime Minister Shen loves you dearly and cherishes your mother,” he said, “but he must also have great regrets that in the end he could not have a proper status to comfort each other.”

“You and I can certainly live in isolation without caring about worldly opinions, but I always think… I want to give you the most worldly completeness.”

“Three letters and six ceremonies, guests filling the seats, both parents present, a lifetime together.”

“No more compromises or sacrifices needed, just naturally no longer suffering—that’s all.”

His words were always like this—hitting the mark and seeming somewhat ethereal, sometimes making people not quite understand, yet at this moment they seemed to pierce straight into Shen Xiling’s heart. She not only understood but was deeply moved.

This person had already given her too much to be moved by. They had experienced so much together that she thought she would no longer be moved to tears by just a few words from him, yet the reality was that he could always find the most vulnerable spot in her heart and with just a few words make her fall apart completely.

This person understood her too well.

She began crying again, sobbing uncontrollably while nestled in his embrace. He smiled and wiped away her tears, then gently kissed her. Their breaths intertwined as if it had been this way since long ago—so natural, so unquestionable.

Shen Xiling could no longer say any words of refusal. The person before her was worth all she could give, and even that would be far from enough, so how could she be stingy with her courage?

He was right—they could no longer compromise or sacrifice. They should naturally pursue the most worldly completeness.

…However, even though Shen Xiling had spent a long time building up her courage in advance, when she stepped down from the carriage and stood before the main gate of the Qi family’s ancestral home, all that courage dissipated at once. She became flustered and panicked again, even wanting to retreat.

She tugged at Qi Ying’s sleeve and said: “Maybe… maybe we should come another day… I don’t think I’m ready yet…”

Her appearance made Qi Ying laugh. He sighed and said to her: “You weren’t afraid ten years ago, are you really not as brave as you were as a child?”

He was referring to her first visit to the ancestral home ten years ago. Indeed, the current situation was quite similar to that time—she also had to pay respects to his parents then, and he was also accompanying her.

But his words were wrong. Shen Xiling frowned and retorted boldly despite being in the wrong: “Who says I wasn’t afraid as a child? I was terrified then, I just didn’t tell you.”

Qi Ying was speechless: “Then don’t tell me now either.”

Shen Xiling disagreed: “That won’t do. I want to tell you now—I’m scared.”

…This little girl was becoming increasingly unreasonable.

Unfortunately, Young Master Qi could no longer put on a stern face and scold her as he used to. She also knew that he loved her and would indulge her endlessly, so she acted more and more according to her own will.

She continued hesitating outside the gate for a while, then felt that whether she stuck her head out or pulled it back, it would be the same knife—better to get it over with early. So she figured it out herself, took a deep breath to gather her spirits, and stepped through the main gate of the ancestral home together with Qi Ying.

Before that tall vermillion gate opened, Shen Xiling had thought this place would be just like Fenghe Garden—exactly the same as in her memories. But when she and Qi Ying stepped into the residence together, she discovered that much had changed here.

She still remembered when she first came to the ancestral home, she had only felt that noble households were like the sea, and she had seen halls and pavilions towering majestically, trees and rocks lush and verdant, with carved beams and painted pillars everywhere displaying solemn grandeur. At that time, to reach the main hall she had to pass through layer upon layer of flower halls and covered walkways, and navigate around countless screens and partitions. The servants coming and going were ten times more numerous than at Fenghe Garden, and along the covered walkways and beside the artificial hills hung thrushes, parrots and other birds for people’s viewing pleasure and amusement. Only then had she understood what the two words “luxury” truly meant.

But now… the ancestral home had visibly declined.

The number of servants coming and going had greatly decreased, there were no longer precious birds kept along the covered walkways, and though the carved beams and painted pillars remained, one could see they lacked proper maintenance—the vermillion paint had peeled, the colors had dimmed, no longer displaying the grandeur of a prosperous household of old.

Initially Shen Xiling couldn’t understand why everything had become this way, but as she walked she gradually figured it out.

Over these five years the Qi family had fallen into decline. Only Qi Ying served as an official in the court, earning merely his salary. The Qi family had several hundred people from top to bottom—how could one person support them all? Moreover, people were opportunistic and calculating. After their family’s troubles, others would inevitably add insult to injury. The noble families who used to associate with them would surely fear getting implicated and cut off relations, and those who used to seek their help would certainly keep their distance. The Qi family was fighting alone, so decline was only natural.

This scene of decay made Shen Xiling’s heart ache, and she couldn’t help but take Qi Ying’s hand.

Qi Ying glanced sideways and saw the little girl’s worried and sorrowful expression. She was looking up at him, then said to him: “Is the family short of money? I have money, quite a lot, and I can take it all out for the family to use.”

She looked around and added: “This place needs proper renovation. We can’t let the ladies see it in such a sorry state.”

She looked around attentively, calculating and planning in her heart, completely unaware of what she was saying—”the family.”

She had actually long ago considered his family as her own family.

Qi Ying smiled faintly, warmth lasting long in his heart. He said nothing more, only tightened his grip on her hand and walked with her toward the main hall of the ancestral home.

In the main hall, the Qi family members had all assembled: Qi Zhang, Yao Shi, Qi Yun, Han Ruohui, Qi Ning, Hui’er, Tai’er, Ning Shi, as well as Qi Le and Ning Shi’s daughter Nian’er.

Nian’er was still in swaddling clothes and presumably didn’t yet know that her father had passed away. She was still staring at her mother who held her with grape-like big eyes full of joy, her little mouth grinning, looking very happy, even finding the white hairpin flowers in her mother’s hair very pretty.

The only lively children in the family were Hui’er and Tai’er. Hui’er was nearly eleven years old and already a graceful young lady, sitting steadily beside her father and mother. As for her younger brother Tai’er, he was more active. He was only five years old, at that age of running and jumping that even dogs would find annoying. Today in this main hall he was also restless, running to the entrance to look around from time to time. When he couldn’t see anyone coming, he would run back to his grandmother with pouted lips, tugging at Yao Shi’s sleeve and asking: “Grandmother, grandmother, why haven’t Second Uncle and Second Aunt arrived yet? Tai’er wants to see Second Aunt!”

Author’s Note: There will be no more complications between these two. From now on they’ll be dealing with other people, so everyone can rest assured~