I felt as if trapped in a nightmare.
As though all living beings vanished in this instant, heaven and earth turned to void, my body in a wasteland, my heart empty as a chasm. Whatever I wanted to think or do, I could not control.
Xu Fang.
The person I thought had disappeared like a blown-out candle appeared so unexpectedly before me, in this setting, in this manner.
Vivid memories flashed through my mind like a cavalcade, and only then did I realize those deep entanglements with shallow words had never truly been dispelled.
My palms were pierced painfully by my nails. When I came to my senses, the Director had finished his speech and the students were beginning to disperse. Lu Lingjun forcefully patted my shoulder: “What are you spacing out about? Let’s go.”
I nodded woodenly, struggling to move forward. Just as I was about to step out of Biyong Hall, I heard that person’s voice again: “This student, please wait.”
My whole body stiffened. I stopped but dared not turn around. I lowered my head to stare at my shoes, feeling his footsteps approaching gradually, my hands buried in my sleeves trembling constantly.
Then his sleeve brushed past me like a breeze as he greeted a student not far from me.
Lu Lingjun pulled me along, asking as we walked: “What’s wrong with you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Not until the cool wind outside hit my face did I shiver back to alertness. I gathered my robes and walked quickly. Lu Lingjun, completely confused, shouted a few times behind me, then simply reached out to stop me: “What exactly has made you so distraught? Did you see someone?”
I remained silent.
Lu Lingjun seemed to take my silence as confirmation. Anxiously grabbing my shoulders, he asked: “Who? Someone you know? Could it be someone from Imperial College?”
I irritably shook him off, saying coldly: “Since I’m unwilling to speak, why must you keep asking?”
Lu Lingjun was stunned: “Acting like this, you’re deliberately making me worry…”
I suppressed my rippling emotions and said: “I know you care about me, but right now I just want to be alone in peace.”
Seeing my attitude, Lu Lingjun became somewhat annoyed: “I can take a hint. If I don’t leave now, I’ll really become unwelcome.” After speaking, he collected himself and departed with a sweep of his sleeves.
At this time, students were sparsely returning to their dormitories. I walked slowly alone. The Imperial Academy was fragrant with pear blossoms, white petals swirling in the air—it should have been an extremely beautiful scene, but looking at it only made me feel exceptionally desolate. Suddenly I felt this place was utterly strange; every unfamiliar face made me feel cold inside. Before I knew it, I had walked out of the Imperial Academy, through the busy streets, wandering aimlessly for a long distance until I stopped before the gates of a manor.
Princess Manor.
I nodded with mixed feelings. Why at this moment was my heart and mind filled with thoughts of that small house in Chen Family Village, that big tree, that home belonging to He Feng?
Deep in the night with people dispersed, a sense of profound stillness came from all directions, almost bringing tears to my eyes. I knocked several times on the door, heard the gatekeeper’s impatient voice, then when the door opened, he was scared half to death. I couldn’t be bothered to care and went straight to my room, secured the door, and lay on the bed fully clothed.
Unfortunately, the bedding had been sent by the Prince Consort to the Imperial Academy dormitory. Too lazy to move again, I curled up, closed my eyes, and tried not to let my thoughts run wild.
Soon I heard someone knocking on the door. Seeing I didn’t respond, the person pushed in without asking. I didn’t open my eyes—no need to guess, only the Prince Consort would have such audacity.
Song Langsheng sat beside my bed and said: “Why did the Princess suddenly return?”
I didn’t answer his question.
He asked again: “What happened?”
I still paid him no attention.
He said: “Lying like this, you’ll catch cold. I’ll have someone prepare new bedding for you.”
In this situation, I couldn’t contain the turbulent waves in my heart. I pounded the bed with both hands, sat up straight, and lost my temper: “Can the Prince Consort leave? This Princess currently needs solitude—I just want to be alone. Is that acceptable?”
Song Langsheng was slightly startled. In the darkness I couldn’t see his expression clearly, but I heard him say: “No. Seeing the Princess like this makes me very uneasy.”
“Your unease is your business. Why should I wrong myself to accommodate your feelings?”
Song Langsheng said: “Then why should I make myself more uneasy to accommodate the Princess?”
“This Princess has no mood to go in circles with your clever words,” I simply got out of bed and walked around him: “If you won’t leave, I will.”
Normally, Song Langsheng would say no more, but after I took just a few steps, he grabbed my wrist. I struggled forcefully but couldn’t break free. Turning back, I said coldly: “Will you let go or not?”
Unexpectedly, Song Langsheng not only didn’t let go but pulled me entirely into his embrace. I pushed against him with my hands, but he only tightened his arms, clearly determined not to let me run. I struggled for a long time until I was tired and powerless, then let my tears soak his clothes. He stroked my back repeatedly, speaking soft comfort. I don’t know how, but in that instant, the grievances long accumulated in my heart came pouring out, and in the end I threw my arms around him and wailed.
I no longer knew how long I had been crying. Vaguely, he was the first to release me, while I shamelessly clung to his sleeves to wipe my tears and snot. Finally Song Langsheng firmly gripped my shoulders and pushed me back a few inches, saying with a mixture of laughter and tears: “Why are you crying endlessly?”
I glared angrily: “This Princess is venting the pain in her heart. If you’re dissatisfied, you can leave.”
Song Langsheng chuckled softly upon hearing this.
I said: “You’re actually laughing?”
Song Langsheng ruffled my hair: “Often, being able to cry is a release, not without its blessings.”
Indeed, many things might be as the Prince Consort said, yet regardless, this release became more entangled the more I tried to untangle it.
I lowered my head and said sullenly: “You’re… not going to ask what happened to me?”
“You have something weighing on your heart. You must have difficulties you can’t tell others, but you can’t take it out on yourself because of that.”
I stared at him for a moment. Speaking honestly, from every angle—horizontal, vertical, even accounting for temperamental outbursts—Song Langsheng was an impeccable Prince Consort. After spending so much time with such a person, wouldn’t it be difficult not to like him?
Could I really forget Xu Fang and place my heart with him instead?
Song Langsheng pulled me to sit on the bed. In the night, his eyes like black needles glowed: “It’s already late, and the Princess is tired. Rather than thinking about everything, why not sleep well? When you wake tomorrow, it won’t be too late to pursue matters to the end.”
Unfortunately, the next day he couldn’t come question me thoroughly—specifically, I simply didn’t wake up. I slept too deeply, and naturally had no knowledge of the outside world while unconscious. I only vaguely saw many people and many events in my dreams.
There was a secluded village, a courtyard with blue tiles. I crouched by the door wearing princess robes when someone behind me laughed: “You’ve returned?”
I turned back to see that person standing with a smile, still so gentle and serene. Just a faint smile, yet it reached deep into my heart.
“Nie Ran… how are you…”
“Silly girl, I’m Xu Fang. He Feng—I’ve remembered everything. From now on, we’ll be together through eternity, never to part again.”
Finally the day I had longed for—I couldn’t help but shed tears, gently embracing his waist. But in that instant I embraced emptiness. Suddenly everything around became desolate, cold wind bitter. I don’t know why the location changed instantly—I was atop a mountain peak.
Looking into the distance, an extremely familiar figure stood at the cliff’s edge. The north wind lifted his brocade robes, fluttering loudly, his long hair flying.
He wasn’t Xu Fang.
Who was he?
But before I could think further, that person spread his arms and leaned forward, falling without warning into the ten-thousand-foot abyss.
I stood there stupidly, watching that misty valley, unable to make a sound or take a step. My heart could no longer feel even a trace of pain.
…
“…Princess… Princess.” A cry pierced the air and I sat up abruptly.
Purple embroidered silk curtains, brocade covers embroidered with white cranes. This… was my bed.
“You’re finally awake.”
My head throbbed with dull, stabbing pain. I could barely keep my eyelids open. I saw Song Langsheng lying sideways beside me, holding my hand, staring at me with those bright, bright eyes: “You’ve been unconscious for nearly two days.”
“I…” I found my voice somewhat hoarse: “What happened to me?”
“You had a persistent high fever. This illness threw the entire Imperial Medical Bureau and everyone in the manor, high and low, into panic and unrest. But fortunately…” Song Langsheng’s somewhat pale face showed a smile: “You woke up.”
I threw off the covers and tried to get out of bed. Song Langsheng paused, then reached out to make me lie flat: “Don’t rush to move. I’ll have the imperial physician come for a follow-up examination. They’re all waiting in the main hall—their hearts are probably hanging from cliffs.”
Hearing the word “cliff,” I couldn’t help but shudder. Song Langsheng asked strangely: “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head: “Nothing, just felt something was odd.”
Song Langsheng pressed his palm to my forehead: “Rest easy for now.”
I stared blankly at the canopy top, which looked somewhat gray. I wanted to recall the people and events from my dreams, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t remember.
After Imperial Physician Xu arrived, he said nothing more than meaningless platitudes, then casually prescribed a few remedies before hurrying away. Honestly, if these imperial physicians had real skill, would Father Emperor still be lying in the palace? I held no hopes for them anyway. It was Song Langsheng who used various threats and inducements, insisting I be an obedient patient. With no other choice, I could only listen to his commands.
Illness comes like a mountain collapse, but recovery is like pulling silk threads. The next two days required slow recuperation—couldn’t be rushed or agitated. Seeing gradual improvement, Song Langsheng finally relaxed. Then he made a turn and threw himself back into the endless cases at the Court of Judicial Review.
He was busy with his affairs; I still had to worry about mine.
Until the matter between Han Fei and Fang Yachen was resolved, the Jiangsu-Zhejiang surveillance commissioner position would have to be given to someone else. I didn’t know if the Crown Prince could find a suitable candidate. The court situation was extremely dangerous—one wrong step could cause great chaos.
Anyway, the court wouldn’t send Nie Ran now. He had directly run to the Imperial Academy—what was there left to worry about? Speaking of which, why would he suddenly become a Director? Who arranged this position for him?
I was flipping through a tall stack of memorials in the study when I actually found one mentioning this matter.
It was Marquis Xia Yang’s idea? Or rather, Chief Minister Zhao’s idea?
Simply put, working at the Imperial Academy meant only dealing with students and tribute scholars—it was quite leisurely, prestigious, but powerless. If Marquis Xia Yang truly had ambitions for power, he should arrange a lucrative position for his son. Unless this was just a stepping stone? Then what was their real intention?
Could it be…
My heart, liver, spleen, and lungs all contracted tightly. I stopped thinking further.
Thinking about things was like this—the deeper you thought, the more entangled you became, until only endless confusion remained, making yourself needlessly miserable.
I tapped the desk with my knuckles, wondering if I should find someone to discuss these matters. After much consideration, besides the Prince Consort, only Wei Qingheng was an excellent choice.
But… I really didn’t want to return to the Imperial Academy, where I’d constantly run into Nie Ran. When that time came…
Just as I was worrying, I inadvertently glimpsed Liu Bo peeking around outside the room. I cleared my throat: “What is it? Come in and speak.”
Liu Bo carefully entered the room, smiling and asking: “Is the Princess well now?”
I leaned against the chair back: “Speak directly. Looking at you like this makes me anxious for you.”
Liu Bo chuckled twice: “Actually, when Your Highness fell so seriously ill this time, heh, the Imperial Medical Bureau couldn’t send anyone immediately. The Prince Consort was extremely worried, so he first had our manor’s physician prescribe fever-reducing medicine. After that dose, you indeed improved considerably…”
“Wait, wait…” I asked: “We have a physician in our manor?”
“Naturally we do.”
“How have I never heard of this?”
Liu Bo said: “Didn’t Your Highness personally request this person from the Imperial Medical Bureau? You… don’t remember?”
I wracked my brains, then suddenly pointed: “Is it Divine Doctor Zhou… Zhou Wenyu?”
Liu Bo nodded: “Precisely him.”
Divine Doctor Zhou—I had completely forgotten about him.
I casually picked up my tea cup and asked: “So you mean…”
Liu Bo said: “Physician Zhou has been asking me to seek an audience with Your Highness to express gratitude for your patronage. These past days Your Highness was away, so…”
For Liu Bo to make this special trip, this divine doctor must have invested considerable effort, right? He still doesn’t know I’m the Princess. My playful nature arose, and I couldn’t wait to tease him: “Please bring him here.”
Zhou Wenyu appeared with lightning speed.
Upon entering, he immediately bowed low in a kowtowing posture. I slowly walked before him, crouched down to look at him: “I heard that when this Palace fell gravely ill, you prescribed medicine?”
Zhou Wenyu said: “Pre… precisely. This commoner heard some of the Princess’s symptoms from the Prince Consort and presumptuously wrote a prescription…”
I sighed: “How is this acceptable? After this Palace took that medicine, I had unstoppable vomiting and diarrhea. Tell me, did you prescribe the wrong medicine?”
Zhou Wenyu cried out for mercy, kowtowing continuously for forgiveness. Suppressing laughter, I said: “Zhou Wenyu, why don’t you dare raise your head to look at this Palace?”
Zhou Wenyu trembled like a sieve: “This old man deserves ten thousand deaths…”
I waved my hand before him: “You should raise your head first before begging for mercy…”
Zhou Wenyu kept his head firmly down, immovable as a mountain. I finally couldn’t hold back and burst into laughter, saying while laughing: “If you don’t look, you’ll regret it for life.”
Only then did he tremblingly raise his head. Sure enough, his eyes widened, immediately forgetting all court etiquette, pointing at me with a trembling finger: “You… how can it be you?”
I raised an eyebrow: “Divine Doctor Zhou, long time no see. You look quite spirited.”
Zhou Wenyu’s body went limp and he sat down heavily, staring in amazement: “You… you’re the Princess?”
I helped him up, laughing: “Is this a pleasant surprise or a shock?”
Unexpectedly, he knelt down again: “That day this old man didn’t intentionally take all of Princess Your Highness’s travel money. This commoner didn’t know you were the Princess… Your gracious treatment truly overwhelms this old man…”
I rubbed my brow: “Enough, old eccentric. It’s too late to put on these empty ceremonies now. Get up and speak.”
Zhou Wenyu probably felt he couldn’t keep it up either, so he obediently stood, scratching his head somewhat embarrassedly: “So… you’re the current Princess Xiangyi… This means I really did save an important person…”
I teased: “About to become famous throughout the realm?”
Zhou Wenyu laughed with great satisfaction. After a pause: “But why was the Princess… shot by an arrow and fell into the river with serious injuries that day…”
I shook my head, pretending not to speak. Zhou Wenyu quickly bowed, blaming himself for speaking too much. I gently patted his shoulder: “In any case, I’ll always remember your life-saving grace. Whether you’ll achieve fame throughout the realm remains to be seen, but giving you a chance to treat the current Emperor would be no problem.”
Zhou Wenyu nodded gratefully while studying me intently. His staring made me uncomfortable: “What? Still haven’t snapped out of it?”
Zhou Wenyu said: “The Princess’s complexion looks poor. Have you been carefully recuperating since your injury? Was the cause of this recent illness determined?”
“I estimate it was probably catching cold…”
Zhou Wenyu asked: “May this old man take your pulse?”
I extended my wrist before him. Zhou Wenyu placed several fingers on the pulse point, concentrating for a moment, then changed to the other hand and examined the pulse for a long time.
Seeing his solemn expression, I asked: “What? Is something wrong?”
Zhou Wenyu slowly withdrew his hand and remained silent for a long time before saying: “Has the Princess’s memory recovered somewhat?”
“A little…” Hearing this, I finally sensed something amiss and frowned: “How do you know I lost my memory? Can amnesia now be detected through pulse examination?”
Zhou Wenyu’s face turned somewhat pale: “Ordinary amnesia naturally cannot be detected, but Princess Your Highness’s amnesia was caused by poisoning.”
I jerked my head up: “Poisoning?”
“Correct. Wanghun San—a very expensive poison.”
This was the first time I’d heard someone describe poison as expensive. He continued: “Those who take Wanghun San initially forget one day’s events each day. As time passes, they gradually remember current events. Within two years, they can recover all memories.”
Forgetting one day’s events daily? Two years? I couldn’t help but say joyfully: “This means in just over half a year, I’ll remember everything from the past?”
Zhou Wenyu nodded.
Would the tangled fog in my heart finally clear? I smiled: “That’s good news. This way, I should also remember who poisoned me…”
“But…” Zhou Wenyu’s lips moved for a long time before he said with difficulty: “This poison has no antidote in the world…”
I froze.
“When the Princess’s memories fully return, that will be… when you meet your end.”
—End of Chapter—
(Time was tight, the language is still rough, content somewhat rushed. Please bear with it for now—I’ll come back to revise~~~)
Author’s Note:
That, because I lost my USB drive and had to rewrite, I was 2 days late. Sorry~~ Please leave more comments, comments! Comments! Striving for the next update to come quickly! Don’t wait anymore, okay!
PS: I composed a little interlude for this story, “One Hand Covers the Sky—Big Brother Chapter.” I have a slight cold so my voice is a bit hoarse, but if anyone’s interested, please listen with tolerance.