Dark red blood dripped steadily onto the rain-soaked grass.

My abdomen ached like being cut by knives.

I finally sighed: “Brother Lu, I’m very sorry…”

As soon as the words fell, flames blazed up from the slope below. In just that instant, the surroundings became bright as day. Soldiers surrounded us with raised swords. I glanced at the official in robes who rushed forward first—it was actually Minister He from the Ministry of Justice, urgent as anything: “Prin—Princess… it’s the Princess! Quick, quickly protect Her Highness!”

I stepped back slightly and interrupted: “Minister He need not panic. This Palace is unharmed.”

With a clang, he also followed my gaze to see the dagger fallen to the ground, its tip stained with a bit of blood.

Before A’Zuo left, I had borrowed the silk vest from him. At the time he looked reluctant, and I thought he was being stingy, but now it seemed the old garment couldn’t fully resist sharp weapon attacks. Though it penetrated half an inch into my belly, it was still quite painful.

Lu Lingjun had truly struck with force. If what protected my abdomen wasn’t the silk vest but some ordinary wood or copper plate, this sharp dagger would likely have punched a large hole through it.

The rain had stopped, yet I still held the oil-paper umbrella. In such a quiet night, the sound of blood dripping was clearly audible.

Since the blood’s owner wasn’t this Princess, it could only be the other person.

I couldn’t help sighing again.

Before sending A’Zuo and A’You away tonight, I had asked them a question: “Which of you two has better archery?”

Lu Lingjun had feathered arrows embedded in his shoulder blade and knee respectively.

He struggled to shake his body but finally couldn’t support himself. His wounded knee heavily hit the ground with a snap, breaking the arrow shaft.

I frowned, imagining it must be extremely painful, yet Brother Lu didn’t even grunt, straightening his body to stare fixedly at me.

Those eyes that usually curved slightly were filled with anger and mockery.

I maintained my standing posture and looked down at him unblinkingly for a moment, continuing my unfinished words: “I’m very sorry… that you chose to abandon your last chance at survival, Lu Lingjun.”

Second Update

Seeing I was unharmed, Minister He ordered Lu Lingjun to be bound and captured, shouting: “Audacious madman, how dare you assassinate the current Princess Regent! Who instructed you? Confess truthfully!”

Fine sweat gradually appeared on Lu Lingjun’s forehead, yet his mouth corners curved upward. Minister He was naturally an old hand at criminal cases—he had someone block Lu Lingjun’s mouth to prevent suicide, and taking him back for interrogation would normally reveal the truth without difficulty.

“Minister He.” I brushed my sleeves and placed my hands behind my back: “There are some words I wish to speak alone with Lu Lingjun.”

Minister He hesitated: “This…”

“In his current state, he cannot harm this Palace.” I said lightly: “Even if he bit through his own tongue, with so many eyes watching, we could stop the bleeding and keep him alive, bringing only more suffering…” I looked back at him: “The Brother Lu I know would never do such a foolish thing.”

After Minister He led the crowd to retreat to a distance, I removed the cloth stuffed in Lu Lingjun’s mouth, lowered my eyes to look steadily at him: “Actually, I don’t wish you to suffer more. Brother Lu, I’ve already had your background investigated. In childhood you received Prince Kang’s favor, transforming from a little beggar into a Young Master’s study companion. Though in less than a year you were expelled from Prince Kang’s mansion, your life was completely different afterward. Although I don’t know what you experienced or what training you received, the things you’ve done for them over the years, your connections with them after coming to the capital and entering the Imperial Academy, your martial arts style—all of this leaves traces. Even if you confess nothing, your very existence and so many witnesses to your assassination attempt on me have already caused great trouble for Prince Kang.”

Lu Lingjun’s slightly startled gaze turned toward the distance: “Did you… know all this from the beginning?”

I shook my head: “The mastermind wanting to kill me could be roughly estimated. Not until Li, Du, and Su died did I know you were the problem.”

Lu Lingjun asked puzzledly: “Oh? I appeared immediately after your assassination attempt and pursued the culprit with you. How could you tell this matter was related to me?”

“Because the one who killed them wasn’t you at all.” I said slowly: “It should have been… Su Qiao, right?”

“Li Wen and Du Fei both died from single throat cuts, showing the assassin’s blade work was fast and precise. Yet Su Qiao suffered three wounds and still didn’t die, waiting for us to catch up and even spoke, moving his body several times—the scene was too inconsistent. I saw that of his three wounds, two were shallow and one deep. I estimated the deep one was inflicted by my shadow guard. Since he still wanted to live, he wouldn’t let himself die easily, yet he died shortly after… In any case, the one poking and prodding him at the time was you. I think the one wanting to silence him would naturally be you…”

“You truly are…” What he was, he didn’t continue. Lu Lingjun gently shook his head: “I pressed his mute blood point and accelerated his bleeding.” After a pause: “I didn’t want to silence him, but he had killed Li Wen and Du Fei.”

That dormitory room’s window faced the river. Su Qiao must have been wounded and wanted to escape through there, but encountered Li Wen and Du Fei who were studying late.

I said softly: “I know, so I didn’t stop you.”

“But how did you know I would kill you tonight? If you hadn’t come, I couldn’t have acted—your shadow guards constantly follow you.”

I sat cross-legged, my bottom touching the damp grass: “I guessed. I guessed whether that day on the pleasure boat when I was assassinated, it was you and Prince Kang working together from inside and outside? Later when you learned I didn’t truly perish in the sunken boat, you feigned death to lure me out, right? Your so-called poisoned needle incident was meant to mislead me into thinking the assassin was skilled with poison needles penetrating heart meridians, using this book as protection would be fine. But when Su Qiao came to assassinate me, he used an entire box of Torrential Pear Blossom Needles. You plotted so carefully, step by step—you should have had further plans. I kept guessing, if I were you, how would I dismiss the shadow guards and attack alone? Thinking it over, perhaps only in a relatively open area where shadow guards had nowhere to hide and could only lurk at a distance would you more easily succeed. Hey, I just thought that way, and when I returned to the dormitory, I saw your room door wide open and your raincoat missing. I thought, were you really trying to lure me to this place?”

Lu Lingjun seemed to smile: “You’ve disappeared suddenly several times before—there’s precedent.”

I said matter-of-factly: “After suffering the shock of losing close friends, running away alone in the rain wearing a raincoat, especially because of me—reasonably speaking, I should go find you to comfort you a few words. After all…”

After all, I still cared about you as a friend.

Lu Lingjun said nothing more. He was silent for a long time before saying: “If I hadn’t killed you tonight, would these temporary arrangements of yours have been ineffective?”

I said slowly: “When I was hiding earlier, I took a nap and dreamed of you. In the dream, you couldn’t bring yourself to strike at all. After holding back for ages, you told me the whole truth. I excitedly patted your thigh saying ‘good brother, loyal friend,’ you laughed saying ‘friendship lasts forever,’ and finally the sun rose in a perfect ending. Then I laughed myself awake.”

Lu Lingjun: “…”

I pulled out a handkerchief from my sleeve to cover the blood seeping from my abdomen: “You needn’t feel guilty. I told my shadow guards that if you tried to kill me, they should shoot you dead without hesitation. Who knew his archery was so poor—several consecutive shots failed to hit your vital points.”

Lu Lingjun stared blankly at me.

I stood up, looking down at him: “So neither of us owes the other anything.”

After speaking, I turned and walked away, never looking at him again.

This journey back to the mansion under official escort was calm and peaceful.

But how could the current Princess’s mansion be a place of tranquility?

I pondered whether it would be more prudent to simply enter the palace, but I truly didn’t want to face those scheming calculations without a moment’s rest.

I remembered a place not far from the Imperial Academy.

Jade Dragon Manor.

Once upon a time, Princess Xiangyi’s favorite place to stay—the mountain waters, eaves, and scenery were all perfectly arranged. At this moment, layers of heavy troops guarded outside the manor, and inside had been cleared by fast riders sent ahead before my arrival. Returning here for the first time since losing my memory, accompanied by a hazy gray mist, the scenery before my eyes carried a particularly poignant meaning.

After dismissing the guards Minister He had stationed, I tried calling out twice, and A’Zuo and A’You appeared from the corners.

They bore terrible dark circles under their eyes, waiting for me to issue the next exhausting order.

I suddenly wanted to kick myself. Why should so many people always suffer because of you alone?

Since I couldn’t perform the high-difficulty action of kicking myself, I could only say: “You two go get some sleep.”

Upon hearing this, A’Zuo and A’You first looked at each other, then knelt down in unison. A’Zuo urgently said first: “Though A’You and I have deep affection and are like siblings… we absolutely have no romantic feelings! Princess, please reconsider!”

I: “…”

A’You said tremblingly: “Princess… this subordinate is still… still a virgin… how can the first time be… be so hasty!”

I: “…”

A’Zuo, who had been on the same side as A’You, restrained his expression upon hearing this, turned to ask A’You seriously: “What do you mean by hasty? You, saying this is quite inappropriate—are you questioning my abilities in that regard?”

I: “…”

How A’Zuo and A’You ultimately went to sleep, where they slept, and whether they slept together, I had no way of knowing.

In any case, at this moment I only wanted to change out of these clothes sticky with blood and fatigue and have a comfortable sleep. Everything else could wait until I woke up.

The Princess’s quarters at Jade Dragon Manor were quite quiet, with green vines around the walls and crescent-carved windows.

I crouched down and rummaged through the chests and cabinets, but found only thin silk after thin silk—not a single thick garment. It made sense—this summer retreat would naturally be visited during hot weather, so the palace would have prepared only light summer clothes, not cotton or winter wear.

After searching through everything for ages, I finally felt something comfortable at the very bottom and pulled hard, extracting a tender pink color.

A young girl’s maid outfit, in a style so familiar it couldn’t be more so.

I froze, slowly spreading out this slightly wrinkled skirt.

In an instant, I seemed to see another petite self in my memory, laughing as she snatched the skirt from my hands, happily changing into it while ordering the little maid beside her: “Cai Mi, my dear sister, just lend it to me to wear. Don’t be so stingy…”

“Your Highness, how could this be proper… if discovered, this servant would be punished…”

“You wear my clothes and lie on the bed sleeping soundly—who would notice?” The little me finished changing clothes and arranging maid hair ornaments, climbed onto the window sill, waved at the little maid, and smiled brightly: “I’ll just go out to play for a while and return by evening. You imitate my voice so well—what’s to fear? Don’t look so aggrieved, I’m leaving!”

Third Update

The image blurred slightly. I vaguely picked up a silk handkerchief to cover my face swollen red from bee stings, but then couldn’t think further. I stepped forward to push open the window. Outside, familiar scenery met my eyes, and that pink figure bouncing around on the stone corridor reappeared in my mind.

Now all sleepiness vanished. I simply climbed over the window, trying to follow the footsteps to recover whatever I could of the Princess’s past.

Though little Xiangyi had changed into maid’s clothing, it was merely to avoid detection. To swagger out openly wasn’t very reliable—who in the palace, high or low, didn’t recognize the arrogant and willful Princess Xiangyi? Therefore, I had twisted and turned to find the shortest wall in the entire manor, climbed the large tree, and directly scaled over.

At this moment, I raised my head to look at the surrounding wall twice as tall as in my memory, silently weeping blood—hey, God, are You perhaps making fun of me?

After expending tremendous effort to reach the other side of the high wall, I gazed upon the layered pine shadows before me. Though the view was refreshing and delightful, still…

I lifted my head, looking far into the layers of mountain forest.

Little sister, were you perhaps planning to cross this mountain to visit the market? Or were you actually just sneaking out to climb mountains for exercise?

I hesitated whether to climb back over or circle around to the main entrance, but in a turn I saw the childhood stubborn expression—determined yet lonely, lifting her skirt to walk into the dense forest, completely unwilling to admit defeat.

Knowing it was a phantom from memory, I seemed touched in some soft place. With mixed emotions I sighed, my legs disobeying as they followed the willful past forward and upward.

After climbing for an unknown time, she finally stopped, gazing blankly at the distant horizon, as if clear wind entered her eyes, sparkling with strange radiance. I followed her gaze forward, but apart from a hazy gray horizon and cold, damp mountain forest, I could see nothing.

I felt puzzled—what was she looking at then?

Then I heard the little Princess sigh: “The setting sun is infinitely beautiful, yet near dusk approaches.”

Suddenly, I understood.

The young Princess had expended so much effort just to quietly watch a sunset.

But why would such a delicate little girl, with good times yet to come, recite such a line of an aging person’s helplessness before such beautiful scenery?

Was it because she foresaw that her future self would experience so much cruelty and betrayal, crisis and assassination, that at barely twenty years old, she would already begin to wither and die?

I didn’t know.

I thought I really shouldn’t wander around everywhere—it would be more practical to go back and sleep.

I turned around, about to descend the mountain, when I saw a thin golden line rising from the eastern ink-blue horizon, transparently red, then slowly breaking through the clouds. In an instant, a fireball rose, multicolored and brilliant as brocade.

In this moment, the layered peaks were dyed rosy, unexpectedly overlapping perfectly with what little Xiangyi had seen years ago in the same place.

Except… that year she gazed at sunset in the west, while today I viewed the eastern dawn.

In my ears seemed to echo a phrase: “Your Highness always suspects others of evil intentions, not knowing that if this heart always sees completeness, the world naturally has no flawed realm; if this heart always maintains breadth and peace, the world naturally has no treacherous human hearts.”

Only when the surroundings brightened did I discover I was now situated in a maple forest, with red maples blooming magnificently everywhere. A strange emotion arose in my heart—the red color seemed to generate some kind of temperature, burning until even the air warmed.

A mountain breeze happened to blow past, rustling the maple trees and stirring my heart into confusion. I paused my steps and walked toward the tallest tree.

Facts proved that when emotions are brewing intensely, intelligence must fade to nothing.

So when I stepped into empty air, my body first felt light, then heavily plummeted toward the large pit below, I again recalled a saying—surviving after falling twice in the same place is a miracle.

I patted my bottom and surveyed the large pit filled with tree leaves. Seeing no sharp bamboo spikes, this trap wasn’t meant to catch flying insects or beasts. But given this height with no climbing aids visible, the possibility of starving to death on the barren mountain if no one discovered me was considerable.

I tried calling A’Zuo and A’You twice… naturally no one came. I had held onto the hope that they were especially loyal and protective, preferring to die of overwork rather than secretly follow me… it seemed they had truly gone to sleep…

I sighed. If things were like this now, how much more so back then?

Little Xiangyi, so small, could only cry and shout for help, foolishly scratching at the stone walls with her little hands and tumbling about—no other recourse.

Worse yet, as the sun set and darkness fell, the mountain forest became even colder at night. I could only crouch and hug my knees, shivering while looking up at the stars, crying intermittently.

Until I heard a boy’s voice: “Who’s crying down there?”

I perked up as if hearing celestial music, saying tearfully: “Me, I’m down here!”

A head popped out from above, but due to the weak moonlight I couldn’t see his features clearly: “Who are you?”

“I am…” Thinking cautiously then, if he were a bandit what should I do, so I said: “I am… a palace maid… accidentally fell down here… can you save me?”

The boy made an “oh” sound: “I can.”

I shouted: “Then jump down quickly!”

Boy: “… I have no rope with me. Wait while I go down the mountain to fetch some…”

I asked urgently: “How long would it take you to go down and come back up at fastest?”

“Two hours.”

So long to leave me alone? What if passing tigers or lions ate me? I panicked: “No. No no no no, you must stay.” Stay, and if there were wild beasts, perhaps they’d eat their fill of you first and not need to eat me. So I thought.

The boy said helplessly: “My qinggong isn’t sufficient to jump down and save you up, little sister.”

“But, but if I’m alone, I’ll be scared, cold, sleepy. So cold and sleepy—if I fall asleep, I won’t wake up. You stay and watch over me, talk with me. When dawn comes and the sun rises, I’ll be warm, then you can go find rope, alright?”

A thick cotton coat landed on my face.

The boy said: “Put it on. You’re clearly just afraid to be alone—so many excuses.”

This meant he agreed.

I happily put on the coat, finally much warmer. Looking up, the boy seemed to sit by the pit’s edge, showing just a bit of clothing corner, quiet for a long time, not knowing what he was doing.

I thought and said: “Hey you, you’re so late—why are you on the mountain?”

He said: “Hey what hey—such an impolite little girl.”

I: “But you haven’t told me your name.”

He said: “Calling names is also disrespectful. Little sister, just call me big brother.”

This was clearly taking advantage. I retorted: “Why should I? Maybe you’re even younger than me.”

He laughed heartily: “I’m seventeen. And you?”

I hummed.

Seeing no response from me, he poked out his dark head again: “Nothing to say? Still won’t call me big brother?”

“I won’t call you that.” I held my head high with dignity: “I’m not a girl who recognizes brothers everywhere.”

“Then I won’t save you.”

“… Still won’t call you that.”

“Then I’m leaving.”

“…”

…

“Big brother big brother big brother!”

Then came hearty laughter: “What a mischievous little girl.”

I hummed again, restlessly turning around in the pit, but heard him say: “You, stay put honestly, or if you get tired you’ll really fall asleep.”

I pouted, thinking how unfair—why could he see me clearly from his angle? Thinking again, I was still wearing a veil, so he couldn’t see what I looked like, and I felt pleased again.

The night was long and I sat bored: “Big brother, tell me a story.”

Perhaps hearing me call him so sweetly, his tone greatly improved: “Alright.”

I obediently looked up.

“Once upon a time, there was a little girl who fell into a trap while climbing a mountain.”

I: “…”

He: “…”

I gritted my teeth: “… And then?”

“No then.” He said: “Because she never climbed out again.”

I: “…”

Fourth Update

I stamped my feet in anger, about to start scolding, when my head was struck by something warm. Reaching to feel it, it was actually a flatbread, still somewhat hot. A voice came from above: “I made a fire to heat the flatbread for you. Eating will ward off cold. Not cold or hungry, you can rest a while.”

I swallowed, having been too frightened to feel hungry before, but now seeing food made me ravenous. Not caring to consider whether this pie from heaven might be a trap, in no time I had consumed the large cake, with waves of warmth flowing to my heart.

I obediently lay flat on the pile of accumulated leaves, couldn’t help wondering what kind of person this big brother above was. Though he especially loved to frighten people, he would occasionally chat with me here and there, making me feel I wasn’t alone. My unease and fear slipped away without notice—from this perspective, he should be someone with a good heart.

Thinking thus, I fell asleep.

When I awoke, the stars and full moon in the sky were long gone. My eyes received not a trace of light—opening and closing them made no difference. I almost thought I had gone blind.

I called several times: “Big brother!”

Complete silence.

I stood up in fright, shouting loudly: “Big brother! Are you there?”

Still deathly quiet, the surroundings silent as if no living thing existed.

He was gone.

Fear spread through the darkness throughout my body.

He had actually left while I was sleeping?

I instinctively wiped away flowing tears with the back of my hand, trying to calm myself. But how could crying stop in endless darkness? Infinite grievance surged forth, and finally I crouched down, unable to help wailing loudly.

I cried for a long, long time, until my head was dizzy from crying, when I heard rustling sounds.

I looked up responsively, but intense light forced my lashes to close tightly.

Unknowingly, I had cried until daybreak.

After slowly adapting and opening my eyes again, I saw countless maple leaves tumbling in the light, falling gracefully like dancing red butterflies.

Following this, a figure penetrated the brightness and leaped down from the opening. His lake-blue robe fluttered in mid-air, surrounded by countless rays of light—the scene was truly magnificent beyond description. Though I couldn’t see the person’s features against the light, I knew it was him.

For a moment, my heart pounded like drums, my eyes filled with dazzled confusion, letting maple leaves fall one by one on my hair, shoulders, and heart.

At that time I secretly thought, how wonderful it would be if time could stop abruptly at this moment.

But… now seeing memory freeze right here, how could I bear it?

No matter how unbearable fate was, it should at least let me recall what that heart-stirring big brother looked like after all these years.

I leaned against the stone wall and sighed.

Dawn had broken, but the palace people who came to fetch me couldn’t find me. I feared Prince Kang’s assassins would be stirring again. If I made a fire now to create smoke for people to discover my location, would the first person to find me be friend or foe?

I couldn’t take this risk—the stakes were too high.

But with my strength alone, how could I escape this cave?

I stamped my feet in irritated confusion. Why could I consider other matters thoroughly, yet repeatedly lose composure and put myself in danger because of some big brother, some memory?

I looked up helplessly at the bright sky above, suddenly wanting to ask heaven why, in such peaceful and beautiful weather, layers of sorrow would surge in my heart? Why make me forget someone I once deeply loved in youth? Why make the person I later relied on closely forget me? Why, returning home, could I feel no warmth of family affection? Why destroy even the last threads of friendship and trust? Why, after experiencing so much, could I still not get a moment’s peace? Why always force me to such extremes, yet leave me unable to think of or find anyone to depend on?

I clutched my chest and lowered my head, feeling full of grievances with nowhere to vent, nowhere to confide. I really, really wanted to ask God, could You grant me one person to save me—no matter who, whether man or woman, elder or child, no matter who, even just one, one who could treat me sincerely, who could be sad for my sadness and joyful for my joy, at least so I wouldn’t feel alone in this world. If there truly were such a person who genuinely loved me, even if they died of poison in half a year, I would have no complaints or regrets.

As I thought this, I again heard the rustling sound of leaves.

The same sound as in my memory.

Yet I stared blankly at the red maples falling before me, lacking courage to look up.

I feared it was only wind blowing down leaves, feared this was just empty joy. I waited, only waited an instant, yet it seemed like a thousand or ten thousand years, until I heard that hoarse, low call: “Princess.”

Familiar to the point of intoxication.

I looked up incredulously, raising my head, waiting for my already blurred vision to gradually become clear, clear enough to see this person’s features, clear enough to… see clearly that thirteen years ago, in this same cave, it was this same person.

This man with eyes that could intoxicate at a glance, elegant to the extreme.

This man who rushed down the mountain overnight to fetch rope and return to save me while I slept.

This man who wiped away my tears then magically stuffed candy in my mouth, teasing me for being a coward.

This man who promised to stay with me for life yet left me waiting under the maple tree all night without coming.

This man who made me miss him for five full years yet reappeared to disturb my life.

This man whom I schemed and calculated to steal away, yet who repeatedly treated me coldly and made me cry.

The past surged like endless tides. He brushed my face with his broad palm, seeming frightened, yet afraid of frightening me, asking somewhat at a loss: “Why are you crying? Are you hurt anywhere? Where does it hurt?”

With light rain and falling red maples, it seemed only Song Langsheng and I existed between heaven and earth, above the clouds.

Tears seemed to flow endlessly, my heartbeat grew ever stronger. I opened my mouth several times but didn’t know what to say.

What should I say?

Should I say, do you know I was that little sister from years past, and Cai Mi was just the maid I sent to inform you I’d be late?

Should I say, do you know how frightened and helpless I’ve been—where have you been all this time?

Or should I say, do you know I’m falling again, falling again, wanting again to abandon everything and grow old with you until the end of time?

Then I felt him trembling as he tightly wrapped my head in his embrace, gently saying: “Thank goodness, thank goodness you’re safe.”

I unconsciously wrapped my arms around his waist, slowly speaking: “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” He puzzledly cupped my face, stroking my hair: “Why suddenly apologize to me?”

Tears surged up again. I could no longer hear any sound, fearing this was only a dream, with an irrepressible impulse.

I stood on tiptoe, no longer letting him wipe the tears falling from my eyes, but reached to embrace his neck and make him bend down slightly.

Before he could react to what I intended, I resolutely, with the last bit of strength in my entire body, kissed his lips.

I’m sorry for not recognizing you all this time, big brother.