This person was really too fragile – knocked unconscious with just one throw. How did he become an imperial guard? He must have used connections, paid bribes to get into the Forbidden City through the back door. Tsk tsk, in this world, with money you can basically do whatever you want, even spy on and lust after the Emperor’s women in the Forbidden City! Fortunately, he encountered someone like me who despises evil. I hate perverted men the most!
Wang Daxia searched his body but found nothing that could prove his identity – no waist token, no documents, even his clothes were plain with no special patterns.
“Wake up.” Wang Daxia slapped his face, but he still didn’t wake. Fortunately, his breathing and pulse were normal – he was just knocked unconscious.
There was no one here, only stairs. Wang Daxia couldn’t possibly carry him down the mountain to arrest him, but if Wang Daxia went down to find helpers to carry the man, he feared the man would run away after waking up.
This was Wang Daxia’s first time in the palace – catching a perverted guard would be a great achievement.
Wang Daxia’s goal was to rise in rank, get rich, and marry his wife. Only by achieving merit could he get promoted, so he definitely wouldn’t miss this excellent opportunity for advancement.
What to do?
Wang Daxia had a flash of inspiration – he simply untied the man’s belt and stripped off his pants and shoes. This was a technique learned at the Imperial Guard – people without shoes and pants couldn’t run far.
Wang Daxia divided the belt in two, tying up his hands and feet respectively, then tore the pants into strips and bound his mouth. This way, he couldn’t escape or call for companions to rescue him – he could only wait for Wang Daxia to find people to carry him down the mountain.
Of course, if you wake up when I bring people back, that would be best – you can walk down the mountain yourself.
Wang Daxia was ready to applaud his own cleverness.
Time to get promoted again.
Wang Daxia tied the man up like a rice dumpling, then went down the mountain to find his Imperial Guard companions.
Meanwhile, at the chrysanthemum banquet, after Shang Qinglan finished three cups of chrysanthemum wine, she felt uncomfortable. The spicy taste of the Frost-Greeting Spicy Rabbit in her stomach kept surging upward, as if it would burst through the top of her head.
I think I ate myself sick again.
Shang Qinglan thought this was bad – she couldn’t vomit at the chrysanthemum banquet and ruin everyone’s mood, so she said to Wet Nurse Song, “Wet Nurse, I need to relieve myself.”
Better to vomit in the chamber pot.
Wet Nurse Song had completely given up on Shang Qinglan and placed her hopes on Li Jiubao, who was presenting her ink chrysanthemum painting to Noble Consort Lu Jing. If she accompanied Shang Qinglan to the toilet, Li Jiubao would have no one to look after her at the banquet.
Wet Nurse Song looked around – Wei Caiwei wasn’t here, reportedly having gone elsewhere to rest.
Wet Nurse Song called over a junior fire attendant, rewarded him with a handful of small silver coins, and had him take Shang Qinglan to the toilet.
Although this place was called the Chrysanthemum Garden, there were no toilets. When palace servants couldn’t hold it in, they generally relieved themselves on the spot – this wasn’t an exaggeration at all. Emperor Jiajing had moved to the West Garden over twenty years ago, leaving Qianqing Palace empty, which had actually become a natural toilet for palace servants, with the smell of excrement lasting year-round.
When nobles came to admire flowers, their attendants naturally carried chamber pots and curtains, able to set up temporary toilets anywhere, anytime.
But Shang Qinglan was just a beautiful woman candidate without such treatment – she couldn’t relieve herself on the spot or borrow Noble Consort Lu Jing’s chamber pot. So the fire attendant took Shang Qinglan out of the Chrysanthemum Garden to a palace building on Qionghua Island, found her a chamber pot to use, and said:
“This slave still has to serve the chrysanthemum banquet – if the eunuchs can’t find anyone, they’ll scold me. After you finish, just return by the same path you came.”
Shang Qinglan waved her hand, “Thank you for the trouble. I’ll go back myself later – I still remember this short path.”
The fire attendant left, and Shang Qinglan bent down to vomit, retching until the world spun around her.
Shang Qinglan deeply regretted: Sigh, another chrysanthemum banquet meal wasted.
After vomiting, Shang Qinglan rinsed her mouth with clean water, straightened her clothes, and walked out of the palace building. Just then, autumn wind blew over, and Shang Qinglan felt this wind was too intoxicating, making her dizzy and lightheaded.
Actually, it wasn’t the autumn wind that was intoxicating – people intoxicate themselves. The chrysanthemum wine in the palace was mixed with flower honey, tasting sweet when drunk with a light wine flavor, like drinking fruit juice, but actually very intoxicating. Because of the sweetness, she unknowingly drank a lot. Fortunately, she had just vomited some out, otherwise Shang Qinglan would probably be collapsed drunk beside the chamber pot by now.
So Shang Qinglan didn’t think it was the wine’s fault – she thought it was from just vomiting and being blown by the wind. Feeling dizzy and unable to stand steadily, she happened to see a tea rose trellis by the roadside. The frame was newly built, with green bamboo poles inserted in the soil.
Shang Qinglan’s father was a country gentleman, and she grew up in the countryside, so she wasn’t unfamiliar with farm work and had some strength. She gripped a bamboo pole with both hands, applied force left and right to first loosen the bamboo and separate it from the soil, then half-squatted, tightly gripped the bamboo pole, applied full body force, and with a “hai” sound, yanked upward, pulling the bamboo pole out of the flower trellis.
The length was just right to use as a walking stick. Shang Qinglan used the bamboo pole as a crutch to avoid falling, and according to her memory of the route, she stumbled and staggered along the path she remembered.
After many twists and turns, she came to a pavilion with three large characters “Peony Pavilion” written above, with a garden beside it bearing a plaque reading “Peony Garden.”
“Wrong, wrong, I need to go to the Chrysanthemum Garden.” Shang Qinglan used her bamboo pole to walk back, but at the intersection saw three branching paths. Each path had artificial mountains and emerald stones, shaded by trees, the same stone-paved roads – like triplets – she couldn’t tell which was the path she came from.
There wasn’t a soul around. Shang Qinglan chose the middle path, pointed with her bamboo pole and said, “It’s you then – don’t disappoint me.”
Shang Qinglan walked on the small path, going up and down steps as if in a maze. With drunken, blurred vision, she saw lilies, cotton roses, and other flowers blooming along the roadside. As she walked, she picked flowers and stuck them in her hair until her head was completely full, with a riot of competing flowers adorning her hair bun – quite lively indeed.
Later, she really couldn’t walk anymore. The alcohol hit her head, making her sway as she walked, unable to grip the bamboo pole steadily. Ahead was a smooth boulder warmed by the sun but not hot to touch. Shang Qinglan collapsed on the boulder, thinking she would just close her eyes and rest a moment, then continue looking for the way back when she felt better.
That’s what she thought, but as soon as her eyes closed, she immediately passed out drunk, unconscious.
Knowing that Noble Consort Lu Jing was hosting a banquet in the Chrysanthemum Garden on the east side of Qionghua Island, Directorate of Ceremonial Chief Eunuch Huang Jin ordered the boatman to stop at the western dock, which was quieter. Because Emperor Jiajing preferred quiet, and the Renyin Rebellion had left deep psychological shadows, he most disliked being surrounded by a group of women, so he deliberately avoided them, landing at the western dock without telling Noble Consort Lu Jing.
Noble Consort Lu Jing loved grand displays and saving face. If she knew Emperor Jiajing was coming, she would definitely rush over with a hundred-person honor guard plus forty-nine beautiful women to pay respects to him.
So this time Emperor Jiajing landed on the island quietly, similar to conducting a private investigation in his own home.
Emperor Jiajing wasn’t here to admire scenery, but to observe the relationship between Lu Ying and Wang Daxia, testing whether Wang Daxia was worthy of Sakura. So after landing, he immediately ordered Wang Daxia to be summoned, then climbed the steps to Guanghan Palace at the highest point of Qionghua Island to view the scenery.
“High places are unbearably cold” – truly the most peaceful place.
But Emperor Jiajing had only walked halfway up the mountain when he heard faint snoring sounds ahead, like a cat purring beside a warm stove in winter.
Qionghua Island raised various rare birds and exotic beasts. Lu Ying immediately became alert, fearing animals might charge at the Emperor. She walked to the front to protect him, but saw a young girl with flowers stuck all over her head, lying asleep on a rock, from which the snoring sounds emanated.
The autumn wind carried the smell of alcohol. Lu Ying said, “Your Majesty, it’s a drunk palace maid.”
By the ninth month, everyone in the palace changed into python robes with chrysanthemum patterns for the season. Since the beautiful women were all at the chrysanthemum banquet, Lu Ying assumed Shang Qinglan was a palace maid.
Emperor Jiajing took a look – what a beautiful maiden like a begonia in spring slumber!
Shang Qinglan used her arm as a pillow, lying on her side on the stone. The loose python robe clung tightly to her body, the young girl’s soft and delicate figure appearing and disappearing under the robe’s concealment, inspiring infinite imagination and turning three parts beauty into ten parts.
Her head full of fresh flowers didn’t appear vulgar but showed a vigorous, fair, round little face like white paper that could be painted with any color, like a fairy among flowers, enhancing her flowery beauty and moon-like countenance.
The sleeping little beauty’s chest rose and fell slightly, making cat-like snoring sounds that made even the “woman-fearing” Emperor Jiajing lower his guard and slowly approach.
A gust of autumn wind blew cotton rose petals from her hair bun onto her face. In her sleep, she felt her face itch, frowned with her nose twitching, her breathing gradually becoming rapid as if about to wake up.
As if possessed by a ghost, Emperor Jiajing gently brushed the flower petals from her face.
With her face no longer itchy, her breathing became calm again. Shang Qinglan continued sleeping deeply. She seemed a bit cold and curled up.
Behind the rock was a cliff – if she rolled over in her sleep, she would fall and be smashed to pieces.
Lu Ying was about to go wake up the palace maid so she wouldn’t fall, when accompanying Directorate of Ceremonial Eunuch Huang Jin said, “This place is cold and dangerous, not a place for sleeping. You few carry this drunk palace maid to Guanghan Palace to sleep.”
Huang Jin was Emperor Jiajing’s close companion who had grown up with the Emperor – practically a tapeworm in the Emperor’s belly. When Emperor Jiajing raised an eyebrow, he knew what the Emperor wanted.
The Emperor obviously had developed interest in this palace maid – he had actually taken the initiative to brush flower petals from her face.
But with the younger Lu Ying present, Emperor Jiajing couldn’t very well say to send this palace maid to his dragon bed to serve him.
At this time, Eunuch Huang needed to speak up and make the preparations.
Emperor Jiajing continued up the mountain toward Guanghan Palace. Several strong eunuchs wrapped the sleeping Shang Qinglan in outer robes and took a shortcut to Guanghan Palace first.
Meanwhile, down the mountain, Wang Daxia found his Imperial Guard companions and was about to mention catching the perverted guard on the hillside when Imperial Guard Wu Xiaoqi spoke first: “Finally found Captain Wang! Captain Wang, His Majesty is secretly summoning you at Guanghan Palace. Hurry and go – we’ve been looking for you for ages! We were afraid of delaying important matters!”
The Imperial Guards couldn’t find Wang Daxia because he was having a private meeting with Wei Caiwei at Penglai Pavilion.
When Wang Daxia heard about the imperial summons, he immediately forgot about the perverted guard. “What? His Majesty came to Qionghua Island? And wants to summon me? For what matter?”
Although Wang Daxia had patrolled the West Garden for half a month, he had never seen the dragon’s countenance. So hearing the Emperor wanted to see him, his mind went blank with a buzzing sound – for a moment he even forgot his own name, let alone remembering the perverted man.
Wu Xiaoqi hushed him: “His Majesty came here secretly, not wanting to make a big fuss. His Majesty wants to see Captain Wang – how would we messengers know the reason? This subordinate guesses His Majesty probably wants to ask Captain Wang about the White Lotus Sect matter. We’ve been looking for Captain Wang for quite a while. Captain Wang should hurry to audience with His Majesty, don’t delay further – surely you wouldn’t make His Majesty wait for a captain?”
Hearing this, Wang Daxia broke into a run toward Guanghan Palace. Halfway there, his soul returned to his body and he slapped his forehead: “Oh! How did I forget about the perverted guard at Penglai Pavilion? Having them go catch him would be the same.”
Wang Daxia walked back two steps, then stopped: “No, I’d rather let the perverted man stay tied up a while longer than keep His Majesty waiting for me. I should go to Guanghan Palace first and report this matter to Commander Lu, asking Commander Lu to send someone else to Penglai Pavilion to make the arrest.”
Wang Daxia continued rushing toward Guanghan Palace.
Author’s Note: The waters are getting muddier and muddier.