Suzhen knew his thoughts must be complex at this moment, filled with suspicion, but such heartless words were beyond her expectations.

She looked at him pleadingly, “Lian Yu, I’m sorry. If I should have confessed my background to you earlier, perhaps today’s situation wouldn’t have occurred. It’s my fault for causing conflict between you and the Empress Dowager, as well as Seventh Prince and Ninth Prince. But at the time, I was truly afraid, afraid you would kill—”

“Kill Li Zhaoting?” Lian Yu interrupted her, his eyes clearly showing murderous intent. “You’re absolutely right. I indeed want to eliminate him. Just because he’s Quan Feitong’s capable subordinate, I have reason enough to kill him.”

“If I had known he was the owner of your flute, I would never have spared him. I wouldn’t even wait for the right moment to overthrow Quan Feitong – I’d have secretly sent someone to kill him immediately. You did right. In your position, I would have done the same.”

He ignored her reddened eyes and earnest expression, analyzing coldly.

“However, Feng Suzhen, even if you were right, I have my position. This is something I absolutely cannot accept. So you’re not wrong, and neither am I.”

His brow carried a deep chill.

“Lian Yu, we just promised to stay together always.”

Suzhen caught up to him, trembling as she grasped his arm. “Don’t do this every time. I know I was wrong.”

She explained helplessly, pouring out all her thoughts to him. “I’ve known him since birth. I couldn’t watch him come to harm. Initially, I truly had no way to respond to your feelings. Your cruel father killed my entire family. Though it wasn’t your fault, you’re still his son. How could I love you?”

“If I loved you simply because you were good to me, Lian Yu, though I don’t understand feelings well, I know that wouldn’t be truly loving you. You’re someone I value greatly. I didn’t want to deceive you because of the investigation.”

“But later, you gradually changed my thinking—”

“How do you know it was the late Emperor who gave the kill order?”

Lian Yu turned his back to her, suddenly speaking coldly.

At this point, Suzhen no longer concealed anything. “I secretly looked at the case records in the Ministry of Justice.”

He suddenly let out a mocking laugh. She didn’t know what he was laughing about and wanted to wait for him to say something, but after a long time, he remained silent. She had to speak first, “Lian Yu?”

Only then did he ask faintly, “Li Huaisu?”

He suddenly called her Li Huaisu.

“You say I changed your thinking, and I once thought so too. But today made me clearly understand that your love was never directed at me. Do you remember? You once abandoned our feelings for Wuyan. But Miss Feng’s obsessive pursuit of Young Master Li was said to have driven away all girls who admired him by any means necessary. Your love story was quite famous, you know?”

He smiled slightly as he spoke, his smile so sarcastic.

Suzhen lowered her eyes and laughed softly too. Indeed, no matter how she handled this matter, it would be wrong.

Feng Meiren had once said there was no absolute black and white in this world. At the time, she had smugly quoted classics to refute this, only now realizing how foolish she’d been.

If she had told him about Li Zhaoting earlier, as he said, he would have killed him. Because her story with Li Zhaoting had long become a joke among scholars throughout the realm – her joke alone.

The matter with Wuyan still weighed on his mind, though he usually didn’t mention it. Now that this situation had arisen, it became an unresolvable knot.

She gripped his arm tightly. “Regarding Wuyan, do you think I could easily abandon you? Li Zhaoting and I had a marriage engagement. Other girls had to respect first come, first served – I had reason to compete. But Wuyan liked you first. At the time I didn’t know and had developed feelings with you, which violated friendship. When I learned of it, I thought, if not for me, would you have accepted her? So I…”

“You needn’t say more.”

Lian Yu mockingly curved his lips. “I could gamble my throne for you. What about you? Was there a moment when you were willing to reveal your true identity for me? In the end, it was still for Li Zhaoting. If you admitted it, you feared the Empress Dowager and I would have reason to prosecute him.”

Suzhen shook her head. “Lian Yu, if not for Gu and Lian Xin appearing when you were speaking, I would have confessed my identity to the Empress Dowager!”

Lian Yu laughed coldly, his eyes and brows full of wild arrogance.

“Don’t use Gu Shuangcheng and Lian Xin as excuses. Feng Suzhen, you didn’t!”

“Feng Suzhen, Li Huaisu… such beautiful names. Even after Miss Feng died, you had to use your name to commemorate your lover.”

“‘Would that I were the southwest wind, forever dwelling in your embrace.’ Years ago, you dared to wander the jianghu for him, seeking stones to make flutes. Today, why speak to me of feelings growing thin when they become too intense?”

He turned his five fingers, prying open her fingers that were clutching his arm one by one. Watching her cry out in pain, he leaned down to whisper a warning in her ear. “Don’t follow me again. Otherwise, don’t blame me for being heartless. If you anger me, I can’t guarantee I won’t immediately use the Court of Judicial Review to provide corpses for your Feng family’s foundation.”

“You say I’m obsessed with Li Zhaoting. Lian Yu, have you truly let go of your feelings for A’Luo? Why would you overturn the late Emperor’s edict for Shuangcheng but refuse to retry the Feng family case for me?” Suzhen roared out.

His attitude was like a knife ruthlessly carving into her heart, driving her to speak without thinking. As soon as the words left her mouth, Suzhen regretted them. She shouldn’t have brought this up at such a time.

Indeed, his eyes suddenly changed, his dark pupils instantly filled with cruel madness. He looked at her and coldly declared word by word, “Yes, I’ve never let go of my feelings for A’Luo either, so I’m willing to overturn the late Emperor’s edict for her sister. You’re not A’Luo. Why should I go to such lengths for you?”

Suzhen’s chest felt so tight she could barely speak. As if refuting him, or perhaps comforting herself, she laughed lowly. “You’re just trying to anger me. If you didn’t love me as much as A’Luo, how could you gamble your throne for me?”

“Because the Empress Dowager couldn’t possibly truly strip me of my throne – my power is already established. The worst result would be estrangement between mother and son. Your words remind me that I’ve indeed done quite a lot for you. Since you understand this, having done so much for you, how dare you expect anything more!”

Suzhen was thoroughly silenced.

He looked at her and smiled slowly. “The people of Great Zhou value filial piety most. Overturning a late emperor’s edict can be done once but not again. Feng Suzhen, I cannot do that for you. Unless A’Luo returns from the dead.”

“Moreover, since you love Li Zhaoting in your heart, it’s even more impossible for me to do so. Do you understand?”

“Actually, you’re not wrong, and neither am I. If we must speak of fault, it’s that you don’t love me enough, and I don’t love you as much as I thought I did.”

Perhaps seeing her stunned expression with tears in her eyes, the cruelty in his eyes gradually faded as he explained.

However, this calm statement was more cruel than anything else. She heard Xuanwu sigh nearby, and soon everyone withdrew cleanly with Lian Yu.

Suzhen seemed not to hear or see, quietly following after them. Lian Yu walked to a place where Miaoyin was approaching gracefully. Seeing him, she curtsied and stopped, her eyes revealing coquettish desire.

Lian Yu also slowed his pace. “Miss, no need for such courtesy.”

Miaoyin looked at him with complex feelings – joy at his actions today, that he could love someone to such an extent. If one could obtain such devoted love, this life would have no regrets. But she also worried about his actions today – he loved Feng Suzhen so much, did she still have a chance? Remembering Li Zhaoting’s words, she hesitated before speaking. “Your Majesty, in two days it will be the Qixi Festival. I wonder if Your Majesty plans to hold a palace banquet for worship? Will you need to remain in the palace that evening?”

Lian Yu saw her expression and roughly guessed her meaning. He asked directly, “Does Miss have something for me?”

“Miaoyin’s departure is imminent. Before leaving, I wish to invite Your Majesty for an outing outside the palace. Your Majesty has already made your feelings clear to Miaoyin. Miaoyin has no other intentions, only hoping to fulfill this wish. After this parting, who knows when we’ll meet again. If possible—”

“Very well. I’ll first send people to arrange everything outside the palace, then escort Miss out for a gathering.”

Unexpectedly, Lian Yu agreed first.

Miaoyin’s heart leaped with joy. Li Zhaoting was right. Using departure as an excuse, since Lian Yu had already refused her feelings, he absolutely couldn’t refuse this farewell banquet again. He was an emperor, bearing responsibility for diplomatic relations between two nations.

Li Zhaoting’s guidance suggested that perhaps his connection with Miss Feng wasn’t finished, but unexpectedly Lian Yu had also taken a fancy to Feng Suzhen. If she succeeded, then he… She pondered silently, then asked without changing expression, “Your Majesty, regarding the Empress Dowager, shall Miaoyin accompany you for a visit?”

Lian Yu smiled apologetically and stepped slightly aside. “Thank you for your kind offer, Miss. However, I still have several urgent matters requiring approval. I won’t go over for now. Miss, please proceed.”

Miaoyin knew today’s events were significant. Even if he went to the Empress Dowager’s chambers, he might not want others present. She wasn’t someone without tact and naturally wouldn’t pester a man when he was troubled. Having achieved her goal, she was content and departed with a smile and bow.

Lian Yu watched her leave without immediately departing, instead saying faintly, “Come out.”

Suzhen felt bitter seeing him agree to Miaoyin’s invitation. Hearing his words, she was startled, thinking he’d discovered her. Just as she was about to emerge, she saw someone walk out from the corridor corner ahead, saying as they walked, “Your Majesty has keen hearing.”

Suzhen smiled bitterly. He was talking to Shuangcheng.

Lian Yu looked at Shuangcheng without speaking. Shuangcheng laughed self-mockingly. “Since Your Majesty called Shuangcheng out, don’t you have instructions for Shuangcheng? Why not speak? Originally Shuangcheng was just passing by.”

Lian Yu slightly curved his lips in a smile that wasn’t quite a smile, seemingly not believing her words.

Shuangcheng’s thoughts were seen through. Her sharp edges were instantly restrained, leaving only helplessness. She smiled bitterly. “Your Majesty, Shuangcheng did indeed come with business to report. But the two things I wanted to say have already been mentioned by Miss Miaoyin, and Your Majesty has agreed, blocking Shuangcheng’s path.”

“Regarding Qixi, whoever Your Majesty accompanies is fine. But concerning the Empress Dowager, Shuangcheng wishes to advise – go pay your respects. I know why you won’t go. You want the Empress Dowager to know you’re determined to protect the Feng family and will never compromise, making her consider whether she should remember mother-son affection and not dare act against the Feng family lightly. However…”

She sighed deeply as she spoke. “I’m speaking out of turn. No matter who you love, I only hope your heart remains joyful.”

“Stop!”

Lian Yu suddenly called out. Shuangcheng quickly turned back, a glimmer of light in her eyes. “Does Your Majesty have more to say to Shuangcheng?”

“Nothing. You may go.”

Lian Yu’s gaze was indifferent, as if his previous call was merely a mistake.

Shuangcheng smiled mockingly and said slowly, “Your Majesty, you’re wondering why the one who understands your thoughts isn’t that Feng Suzhen full of lies, but Gu Shuangcheng, whom you’ve never thought highly of.”

“It’s simple. Because you love her, and I love you. I know that in your heart, I can’t compare to her, can’t compare to Murong Luo who grew up with you, can’t compare to the sensible Miaoyin, can’t even compare to White Tiger who’s utterly loyal to you. But what does it matter? I’ll keep waiting for you, just as you love her.”

Before leaving, she looked deeply at him and said these words.

Lian Yu’s eyes became somewhat dim. Even after her figure disappeared, his gaze remained fixed on that spot.

Suzhen knew that staying longer today would yield no results. Moreover, Lian Yu had many matters to handle – repairing relationships with Xiao’an, Lian Jie, and others was one of them. His world contained more than just romance.

She walked back in silence.

Two thoughts kept turning in her mind.

One was that she didn’t want this to end. No matter what, she didn’t want it to end. Even if he loved A’Luo most, she wouldn’t let go, because he was now the one she loved most – only him. The other thought was whether she should truly let go.

She’d never liked Shuangcheng, but just now she suddenly realized that Shuangcheng might be more suitable for Lian Yu. She understood him better than herself.

Lian Yu would be happy with such a woman.

Gu Shuangcheng was originally A’Luo’s sister, and A’Luo was his most beloved. According to him, A’Luo loved him most too. A’Luo’s sister would naturally be like A’Luo, loving him the same way.

Unlike herself.

She took deep breaths, not letting herself cry. She didn’t want Leng Xue and the others to worry. Just as she was thinking this, she actually saw Leng Xue approaching hurriedly, looking around as if searching for someone.

Without needing to think, he must be looking for her. They’d received news and knew her identity. After court ended and they couldn’t find her, they were anxiously searching everywhere—

She quickly retreated behind a small courtyard gate until she saw Leng Xue leave, then dared emerge. She didn’t want him to see her in such a disheveled state.

She wandered aimlessly through the palace, finally entering a pavilion and sitting on a stone bench.

The Feng family case couldn’t be overturned, and she couldn’t love Lian Yu either.

She laughed lowly, thinking herself truly ridiculous.

“I’d say this time, you might want to have a drink?”

A mocking voice reached her ears. She looked up startled to see Quan Feitong leaning against a nearby pillar like a ghost.

She watched him warily. “How are you here?”

“I’ve been following you since you left Lian Yu’s presence. I’ve had little entertainment lately – seeing people in pain brings me joy.”

Quan Feitong spoke with a cheerful smile. In his presumptuous laughter, Suzhen’s eyes heated up. She didn’t cry, only stared at him fiercely.

But he walked over and sat beside her, suddenly reaching out to pull her into his embrace. Suzhen struggled in alarm, but his voice came faintly from above her head. “Cry it out. What’s the use of holding back? No one will love you for constantly pretending to be strong. Men most pity the weak. Your entire family was wrongfully killed, abandoned by the man you’ve loved since childhood, and your current man doesn’t love you as much as you imagined. Feng Suzhen, you’re truly… pitiful.”

Suzhen had buried all her emotions in her heart, but these buried things completely collapsed after his few short sentences. “He said he wanted to end it. I don’t want it to end. Minister, why is it always that they say start and it starts, say end and it ends…” She clutched his robes and sobbed uncontrollably. “I don’t want it to end, and I don’t want to be like this, but I have no choice. I feared that betting wrong would get Li Zhaoting killed. I know I’m not good enough, but I have no choice, just as I am Feng Suzhen – I have no choice…”

Quan Feitong didn’t respond.

Damn it, how did she end up telling this person all this! Suzhen’s face burned. Just as she was about to pull away from his embrace, she was suddenly pressed back firmly. He said, “Then don’t choose. Find someone to depend on. These matters shouldn’t be a woman’s concern anyway.”

She smiled bitterly. “I have no one to depend on.”

“What about this minister?”