She had once heard the reasoning that the deeper one’s love, the higher their expectations would be. She also knew that her mother held Song Chuyi in the palm of her hand only to ruthlessly shatter her later on. But no matter how many reasonings she had heard, the pain in her heart could not be smoothed away by these reasonings.

Of course she knew that Li Shi could never truly be without reservations toward the daughter of her enemy, but so what?

She kept her eyes open, unwilling to close them for a long time.

Everyone said Song Chuyi had it difficult—her mother had died early, so even though she was annoying, everyone indulged and pampered her. It was as if she was born without knowing how to write the characters for “worry.”

When Song Chuyi fell ill, it was Li Shi who kowtowed with every three steps to pray before Buddha, Old Madam Song who stayed by her side without closing her eyes for entire nights, and Song Yi who could neither eat nor sleep peacefully.

But what about when she herself fell ill?

Apart from her eldest sister-in-law Li Qingzi, there was no one else.

It was only natural that others didn’t care about her—after all, she was from a different branch of the family, and both her parents were still alive. But Li Shi had ignored her at that time, and she could never forget it no matter what.

When her fever had already left her delirious, she mistook Li Qingzi for her mother and called out “Mother” in grief and sorrow. But it was not Li Shi who responded to her. When her high fever subsided, what she heard was news that Li Shi had specially gone to pray for Song Chuyi and had nearly fainted as a result.

She still remembered to this day how her heart felt ice-cold at that moment, like drinking snow water in the dead of winter—bone-chillingly cold and difficult to swallow. She never cried again after that.

She knew she shouldn’t resent Song Chuyi for all this.

After all, it was her mother who had stolen Song Chuyi’s mother’s position and harmed Song Chuyi’s mother, then hypocritically pretended to share a deep mother-daughter bond with Song Chuyi, waiting to shatter her at the height of her success and pride.

But she couldn’t resent her own mother either. With nowhere for this resentment to go and overwhelming grievances in her heart, she could only learn to harbor malice toward everyone.

When she saw others cry, she felt in her heart that she wasn’t so unlucky after all—at least there were still people who were even more miserable than herself.

She had originally thought her life would unfold like in her dream—first marrying a talented young man, then remarrying her childhood sweetheart who would still treasure her like a pearl in his palm, while holding Song Chuyi in the palm of her hand to knead at will.

But nothing went in the direction she had dreamed. The Song Chuyi who had once been universally despised was no longer the useless fool she used to be. Old Madam Song and everyone in the Song family loved her like a precious treasure.

And what about herself?

She could sense her heartbeat gradually weakening. Her consciousness, which had been clear all along, was also gradually becoming somewhat blurred. She closed her eyes and took a breath, only to be startled by the realization that even breathing had begun to hurt.

After coughing a few times, the unwillingness in her heart finally faded away bit by bit.

She had lived too exhaustingly, truly too exhaustingly.

Li Shi never had any demands of Song Chuyi, but her requirements for her own daughter were extremely strict—music, chess, calligraphy, painting, needlework, embroidery—there was nothing she wasn’t proficient in. She had long since mastered the skills of reading people’s expressions and saying the right things to the right people.

But no one had ever taught her through words and deeds how to be a good person. Li Shi thought she had done so, but she had never truly calmed down to listen to what her own daughter had to say.

Forget it. She looked up at the dim sky and laughed softly. Perhaps after going down there, she might still be able to see Li Shi.

Hopefully, Mother would have learned by then how to be a mother.

Extra note: It seems Yunyun Qi over there doesn’t update free chapters… Should I put this in my new book? New book “Spring Chamber Secrets” seeking recommendations and bookmarks~