The first time I saw him, I was helping my mom watch the stall—a clothing stall at the farmers’ market. Cheap and brightly colored clothes were hung all over the metal rack, requiring an iron hook to take them up and down.

His mother was buying meat at the neighboring stall. When she noticed me doing homework, she smiled and said, “This child clearly studies well. Which school do you attend?”

“Second Vocational High School.” I lifted my head and replied with a beaming smile, “A’Yi, would you like to look at some blouses? They’re all goods shipped in from Guangdong.”

His mother awkwardly exchanged a few pleasantries before continuing to select her meat. But that glance also let me see him. He was wearing the First High School uniform, his hair jet black and neat, possessing a scholarly kind of handsomeness as he stood behind his mother carrying vegetables.

He was quite handsome—that was my first impression. But countless high school students passed by every day. Only he made me feel something special—exceptionally clean, so clean that he seemed completely out of place in this farmers’ market.

I lowered my head to continue my homework, but somehow I couldn’t concentrate at all. I simply threw down my pen and stood up. He had already walked to the market entrance. His mother walked quickly, chatting with people up ahead, while he stood at the entrance patiently waiting.

That scene had a kind of desolate beauty, as if it foreshadowed our ending.

I chased after him and said, “Hey, yes, I’m talking to you. Are you from First High School?”

He pointed at himself, asking in confusion, “Me?”

“Can I have your QQ? I really want to get to know you.” I said.

Actually, my middle school exam results were decent—not good enough for excellent schools like First High or Second High, but I could have attended an ordinary high school.

But my parents were divorced. I lived with my grandmother, and thinking it better to earn money sooner rather than later, I enrolled in vocational high school to study electronics.

After entering the school, I felt some regret. Nobody at school studied. Even the teachers lectured halfheartedly.

The boys were busy playing games and dating. Most of the girls styled their hair with thick kawaii bangs, discussing shrilly whether Dong Bang Shin Ki or Super Junior was more handsome.

It wasn’t that I absolutely had to study—I just found this kind of life boring. After finishing my assignments each day, I would read novels like “That Boy Is Really Handsome” and “Long Ri Yi, You’re Dead Meat.”

I would skim through them quickly and toss them aside, still feeling bored.

Meeting Cheng Xia was the only interesting thing during my three years at vocational high school.

Back then it was popular to have boyfriends from First High or Second High. As the saying goes, you seek what you lack. My female classmates and I would often wear borrowed uniforms and sneak into First High.

They went to be affectionate with their boyfriends, while I waited for Cheng Xia after school.

“Yo, Cheng Xia, your wife is here!”

As soon as his buddies saw me, they would tease him and push him toward me. He would get genuinely annoyed and shout, “Wang Qiang, are you looking for a beating?!”

Back then he had a buzz cut and was a proper, well-behaved boy. When he got angry, his whole face would turn red.

“Brother Xia is embarrassed!” “Run!”

His buddies would flee like refugees, leaving only him and me standing there. He would lower his head to avoid my eyes, mumbling reluctantly, “Ren Dongxue, can you please stop coming to find me?”

“Why?”

He thought for a long time before squeezing out, “It affects my studying!”

I laughed until I doubled over, saying like a little delinquent, “Fine, if you agree to be my boyfriend, I won’t come anymore.”

His face flushed red again.

As if. If he agreed, I would be like those other girls, coming to find my boyfriend every single day.

When we reached the fork in the road, he suddenly spoke very solemnly, “Ren Dongxue, I want to go to S University, Architecture major.”

It was a school I had never heard of. I froze for a moment before realizing this was his explanation for “I need to study hard.”

“Please, I want to date you, not get married.” I burst out laughing, thinking to myself that First High students were so childish.

He continued, “S University’s minimum admission score is 649 points. You need to be in the top 5% of the entire province. Right now I’m at 25%. I must guarantee five hours of study time after class. Every single minute—I cannot afford to waste it.”

I didn’t understand. I stared at him blankly.

“Ren Dongxue, I want to become an architect, like Le Corbusier.”

Under the setting sun, his face was flushed red, as if he had said something unspeakable. Yet he never avoided my gaze.

That moment—I remembered it for many, many years.

Actually, I had met many First High students. Most of them played basketball terribly, looked rather dull, and would sneak glances at pretty girls. I never felt they were any different from us.

Only Cheng Xia was different.

He was someone who at sixteen already knew what he wanted. He worked hard not for “employment” or “making money,” but for his dream.

How foolish…

But I truly liked him.

When I came back to my senses, Cheng Xia had already walked far away. I hurried to catch up.

“Cheng Xia, who is that Xi Ye person you mentioned?”

“Are you going to the library tomorrow? I promise not to disturb you.”

Those years, I just followed him around like that.

Even I didn’t know where all that inexhaustible passion and affection came from.

Later, I graduated from vocational high school.

At that time, my dad found me a local job at an electronics factory, inserting wires. Room and board included, fifteen hundred yuan a month—not bad at all.

I was unwilling. I said I wanted to go to S City—a southern coastal city very far from us.

“Don’t I want to earn more money in the south? Xiao Wei is growing bigger by the day, and there will be more expenses. I can’t let you work at your age, can I?” One of my great talents was knowing how to cajole people.

Xiao Wei was my little brother, born after my dad remarried, ten years younger than me.

My dad was indeed moved after hearing this and gave me three thousand yuan. I then took the train south.

Actually, I had lied. That little brat—I had no intention of taking care of him at all.

I went south because Cheng Xia was there.

He had gotten into S University as he wished.

When I arrived, they had just finished military training. Everyone was walking back in scattered groups.

I wore a white dress. In that engineering school with a male-to-female ratio of 7:1, my rate of turning heads reached one hundred percent.

A bunch of guys who looked like they’d been dug out of the dirt, wearing military training uniforms, walked this way. I recognized him at first glance.

“Cheng Xia!”

No matter when, he was always so clean, fresh and bright like a cloud.

He was very surprised. “Ren Dongxue, how are you here?”

To him, I had disappeared for an entire summer.

“To wish you happy birthday! I’m working at Ruijian Technology now, five subway stops from here.” I stood up, smiling as I handed over my gift. “Cheng Xia, happy birthday.”

Rushing and hurrying, I had finally found work in this city.

Rushing and hurrying, I had finally made it for his birthday.

“So this is sister-in-law! You sly dog, keeping this hidden!”

The classmates around him began teasing ambiguously. He turned back to curse at them jokingly, accepted the gift, and said, “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? Have you been waiting long?”

“Not too bad.”

Four hours—not too long.

“Come on, I’ll treat you to dinner.”

He took me to the cafeteria to eat. After not seeing him for one summer, he had grown like bamboo shoots after spring rain.

He had gotten thinner, his features more refined. His hair had grown longer. When he talked about university life, he was radiant with excitement.

He was no longer like the bookworm in my memory who blushed easily, was softhearted and stubborn.

This time it was me quietly listening to him talk, because I truly couldn’t get a word in.

After eating, he walked me to the subway station.

“Text me when you get home.” He waved at me, preparing to leave.

“Cheng Xia, I have something to tell you.”

I had rehearsed it a hundred times, yet my voice still trembled terribly.

“The first time I saw you, I really liked you. Before, you said you needed to study… Now I want to ask you, can you…”

I had said I liked him a hundred times.

But this was my first time formally confessing. I was so nervous I was incoherent.

Back then I was young and good-looking. Many boys pursued me. They said I had set my sights on Cheng Xia, that bookworm, and it was his good fortune.

So I was fearless and ignorant of what truly lay between us.

But now.

The century-old university gates, the magnificent academic buildings, and the university students conversing with ease—all made me invisibly feel that distance. Cheng Xia and I were people from two different worlds.

“I don’t want to date yet.”

Cheng Xia seemed to have anticipated this. He rejected me very decisively.

The night was very quiet. I could hear the nearby ocean waves gently crashing against the shore.

After a moment of silence, he said, “Are you okay?”

The vocational high school girl couldn’t get the First High academic star, and the factory girl worker couldn’t get the 985 university student either. I finally had no way to remain immersed in those sweet illusions.

“Hey, Cheng Xia.” I looked up at him, trying hard not to let my tears fall. “You will never like someone like me, right? Tell me, and I won’t wait anymore.”

He scratched his head, pulled out a pack of tissues from his pocket, and wiped my tears. As he wiped, he said, “Don’t overthink it. I really don’t want to date… It’s quite good that we’re both in this city. We can look out for each other. If you need any help with anything, come find me anytime…”

I shook my head and hugged him tightly. His whole body stiffened, but he didn’t struggle free. As I sobbed quietly, I thought, how could this be?

How could there be someone so softhearted yet so cruel?