Ha Rina said that many old people pass away in winter.

Because of the harsh weather, cold seeps into their knees, and having to constantly care for livestock through the winter—many old people collapse and never get up again.

But that winter, not a single elder passed away.

The old houses had been renovated by us. The village’s housing layout served to block the wind, making the interiors warm and comfortable. Larger storage rooms meant the elderly no longer had to shuffle outside in winter to retrieve winter vegetables.

The livestock stayed safe in centrally heated winter sheds. They no longer had to stay up all night during the coldest winter watching over newborn lambs.

We also renovated the village activity center. Just by adding low steps and ramps, the number of elderly who could come doubled. They liked to play chess here, chat, or just sit and bask in the sun. The exercise equipment we initially thought wouldn’t be of much use had been rubbed shiny by the elderly.

The people of Wuleji Village and Jiaolong Village mixed together, and gradually could no longer distinguish one another.

This was architecture—small changes in cement and steel imperceptibly altered the fate of a person or a family.

At times like these, I would feel that my decision to come back had meaning.

Regarding the desperados who hunted me down on New Year’s Eve.

They had been hired by Chi Na to create trouble at our construction site, specifically mentioning me—”Get that woman Old Feng’s involved with, disgust him a bit.”

Originally they planned to flee abroad after the job—just like that manager from Weisheng, dead without evidence. But they didn’t expect to be caught by the villagers.

According to their confessions, Chi Na was arrested. At the same time, Old Feng submitted evidence of Beicang Transport’s violations to the relevant authorities. Their business came to a complete standstill, and they faced enormous breach-of-contract penalties.

The era of Beicang Transport had ended.

But that’s all in the past.

After seeing off Grandma and Cheng Xia, I returned to the construction site, working while healing my fractured bones.

Ha Rina brought me meals every day. I gave her a thousand yuan each month.

If I gave her money directly, she wouldn’t take it. I could only improve her family’s living conditions this way.

She, including her grandparents, didn’t think this was something I should be deeply grateful for. Her grandmother said, “It’s Tengger protecting our Dongxue.”

“My grandma also said she wants to find a shaman to call back your soul,” Ha Rina said.

“Why?”

“After New Year, you seem like a different person—very gloomy, you don’t smile anymore.”

I was stunned, then reached over to tap her head. “You had three ribs broken—could you smile?”

Just then, someone knocked on the door.

It was actually Yu Shixuan.

“What are you doing here?” Ha Rina was like a bristling kitten. She had seen Yu Shixuan together with Chi Na.

Yu Shixuan wore a bean-green long dress, her hair pulled up in a low bun, still refined but carrying an indescribable haggardness.

She ignored Ha Rina, only looking at me and saying, “Ren Dongxue, come somewhere with me.”

“Why should she? Who do you think you are!” Ha Rina said with hands on her hips. “Sister, don’t go. She’s a bad woman.”

“Stop talking nonsense again.” I pinched her cheek. “Sister will bring you something good to eat when I come back.”

I had to go. To some extent, Yu Shixuan had saved my life—at the cost of ruining her own.

I drove with Yu Shixuan, crossing grasslands, deserts, and dilapidated county towns.

Finally, we arrived at the largest hospital in a certain league. I had been hospitalized here before.

We hadn’t spoken the whole way until the moment we walked into the hospital, when she suddenly gripped my hand.

Her fingers were abnormally cold, like ice.

“Tell me, will Chi Na be sentenced to death?” she said. “This would be his only bloodline.”

Her hand rested on her lower abdomen, where there was a not-yet-formed embryo, already three months along.

At that time, both Chi Na and Teng Qishi had already been arrested, leaving her with a complete mess.

“Chi Na would definitely be very happy to know. He said if he had a child, he would teach him to ride horses and hunt,” she murmured.

“If—I’m saying if—if you really want it, then keep it. I’ll help you,” I said softly. “But don’t have it for a man’s sake. You know it’s not worth it.”

Her long lashes lowered, and a tear slowly fell. “Actually, the first time we met, when he looked at me and smiled foolishly, I liked him. I’d never liked anyone before.”

“I know.”

“He’s a bastard, but he was the only one willing to take me away. When he lost his temper, it was like he wanted to kill someone, but he was never mean to me.”

“Mm.”

Just then a nurse called out, “Is Ms. Yu Shixuan here?”

Yu Shixuan wiped away her tears, stood up and walked over. When she reached the doorway, she suddenly turned back to me and said, “Dongxue, I’m very scared.”

“Don’t be afraid,” I said. “I’ll be right here waiting for you.”

I thought it would take a long time, but actually in less than an hour, she came out, her makeup not even smudged.

I helped her into the car and took her back to that villa.

The villa complex had been half-renovated but was completely empty. The exposed steel and concrete were like gaping wounds.

Only her second-floor room was still intact, but the heating wasn’t good—staying inside was like being in an ice cellar.

I bought space heaters and electric blankets, made her porridge, and following online tutorials, made ginger duck. At times like these, she should want to eat something from home.

But she vomited after one bite and in the end could only manage to drink some hot water.

“What am I going to do from now on?” Her eyes were hollow, looking at nothing. “My father doesn’t want me anymore, and Chi Na… Chi Na doesn’t want me anymore either.”

She was still very beautiful, but that delicate girl like jelly had unavoidably disappeared.

I sat by the bed, looked into her eyes, and said seriously, “Princess, you graduated from a top-tier university. I’ve seen your blueprints—you’re very talented too. Actually, even without Chi Na, you could have broken away from your father back then.”

She stared at me blankly.

“It’s just that you thought you needed a man to save you. Do you understand? You didn’t really need Chi Na.”

As I said those words, something deep in my soul suddenly ached sharply. I thought of myself, thought of Cheng Xia’s retreating figure as he left.

“It hurts so much,” Yu Shixuan suddenly frowned, then looked up at me. “Dongxue, hold me.”

I got onto the bed and gently held her in my arms.

She was so thin, like a small child, her skin ice-cold, trembling continuously.

We would all understand one day.

Love is merely something external to ourselves.

That recklessness is just an illusion.

But in that moment, it hurt too much.

—

When Cheng Xia and Grandma went to the airport, I was still sleeping.

More accurately, I was pretending to sleep. After the cover of night faded, I didn’t know how to face him or how to face myself.

When I woke up, I found a letter on the table.

His handwriting was beautiful, vigorous and forceful, not as gentle as he himself was.

“There are a few things I want to tell you.

The first thing is that I broke up with you because I had completely despaired of myself.

I didn’t want you to see me out of control and crazy, and I didn’t want to force you to become as crazy and volatile as me.

But I’m sorry, I didn’t manage to do that.

What I also failed to do was stop fantasizing that we might still have a chance.

So I quit my job to find you. This is the second thing I want to tell you.

I thought, since you can’t change your career, then I could come and be a freelance designer.

This project, the next project, the project after that—we wouldn’t have to be apart anymore.

But I was still too late.

I wanted to be like that Mr. Feng, appearing to protect you the first moment you were in trouble.

I also wanted to be like in university, able to provide you with lots and lots of help, even if it meant secretly staying up all night preparing—that would be fine.

But I can’t do it anymore. What you want, I can’t help you with anything.

The most important thing—I thought about it for a long time, but I should still tell you.

Everyone thinks I don’t love you. I myself also doubted whether what I felt for you was dependence or love.

But these past days, I kept seeing you.

When I read, you were lying on my left. When I got off work, you stood at the courtyard gate waving to me. When I slept, you sat on the bed losing your temper, saying that after we got married, we needed to get a bigger bed.

Hallucinations filled every gap in my life. Even though you would disappear the next moment, I would still smile happily.

That heavy despair after joy, like an intense withdrawal reaction—I had many dark thoughts. I thought I absolutely had to be with you, because being without you was more painful than death.

But now, I’m letting you go.

I think, I probably, maybe, really do love you very much.”