After two months of arduous traveling and toiling, Yun Ye finally lived a life as comfortable as a pig’s. Every day he slept until he naturally woke up, no longer needing to worry about lack of food or about streaking naked without clothes. In the morning, someone would bring him wash water, even the tooth stick was prepared—the so-called tooth stick being a thin willow branch with one end frayed, dipped in green salt and used for brushing teeth, a simple version of a toothbrush. However, Yun Ye had a toothbrush, so naturally he didn’t need to use willow branches. But when he used his own toothbrush while shaking his leg and brushing his teeth, he suffered an unexpected calamity.
Cheng Chumo saw Yun Ye with a mouthful of white foam, his whole body trembling. He flew over and pounced, firmly tackling Yun Ye to the ground. He struggled to straighten out his limbs, pried open his mouth, stuffed in a handkerchief and tied it horizontally behind his head. He unfastened his belt, wrapped it around his legs several times and tightened it severely. His hands were also bound to his waist. His entire body was bound into a horizontal human stick. Yun Ye stared with wide eyes in complete bewilderment at Cheng Chumo. He didn’t understand why Cheng Chumo, who had just been brushing teeth together with him perfectly fine, suddenly tied him up, and in such a perverted manner. Could this fellow have some special preference?
Only then did Cheng Chumo let out a long breath of relief. He turned and ran, shouting as he ran: “Doctor, doctor, come quickly, come quickly everyone! My brother’s epilepsy has flared up!”
Hearing him shout like this, Yun Ye wanted to die. I was just brushing my teeth, for heaven’s sake! Was it necessary to tie me up and falsely accuse me of having epilepsy? What the hell did you stuff in my mouth with? Please, oh please, don’t let it be that handkerchief of yours—yesterday I saw him use that handkerchief to wipe his armpit. Thinking of this, various strange flavors—sour, sweet, bitter, and numbing—came from his mouth. Most importantly, there was also a strange salty taste. Yun Ye’s eyes rolled back and he completely fainted.
When he woke again, he was already lying on the military camp bed. Yun Ye looked at Cheng Yaojin’s face full of worry. Just as he was about to speak, Old Cheng stopped Yun Ye from opening his mouth and said with pained sympathy: “Worthy nephew, please don’t speak much. Focus on recuperating your health—that’s most important. Since ancient times, there has never been anything perfect in this world. Worthy nephew is a rare talent in the world. Setting aside everything else, just your ingenious salt-making technique alone—not to mention adding another method for our Great Tang to sustain life—just relieving the suffering of salt shortage in Longyou can be called a blessing to all living beings. In the way of mathematics, you made Huang Zhien lower his always proud head. Holding a torch and prostrate on the ground calculating through the night can also be called a prodigy. Heaven is unkind, allowing worthy nephew to be afflicted with this evil disease. It truly makes one sigh with regret. You must recuperate well and don’t worry too much. After your illness recovers, this old man will have many occasions to rely on you.”
Yun Ye stretched out his hand and pointed tremblingly at Cheng Chumo beside him, who was looking very pleased with himself. Cheng Chumo grabbed Yun Ye’s arm and stuffed it back under the blanket, his face full of lingering fear as he said: “Brother, you shouldn’t talk much. Recuperating peacefully is proper business. Fortunately, your foolish elder brother saw things were going wrong and acted quickly. Otherwise, if brother had bitten your tongue, that would have been bad. No need to say words of gratitude—who told us we’re brothers?”
Hearing such shameless words, Yun Ye was just preparing to jump up and strangle this bastard to death when he heard a commotion outside the tent. A sharp, piercing voice came: “The Heavenly Emissary arrives! Lanzhou Guard Acting Military Secretary Yun Ye, receive the imperial edict!”
Hearing this voice, Yun Ye, who had been preparing to jump up, shrank back into the blanket. He really didn’t understand how to receive an edict, or why there would be an edict for him. Could it be that His Majesty Li Er already knew of his existence? This was too terrifying! They say ancient people could divine the past and future—his origins and background were all known clearly by others. With just these few tricks of his, what the hell was he even trying to accomplish?
Just as he was caught in a dilemma, he heard Cheng Yaojin speak: “Strange indeed! This old man’s memorial was only submitted a month ago. How is there an edict delivered today? This old man will go take a look.” After saying this, he strode out of the military tent.
Cheng Chumo whispered to Yun Ye: “The merit my father reported for you has been approved by His Majesty. Your elder brother here will go take a look.” After speaking, he also ran off.
Yun Ye shrank in the blanket, his mind like a boiling pot. In just moments, he had no clue whatsoever. Although he had fantasized about this kind of scene before, when the moment came, he was at a complete loss, not knowing how to face it. Well, feigning illness was also an option.
Before long, Cheng Yaojin walked in accompanied by a young man. He wore a black gauze cap with a piece of white jade embedded on top, dressed in a black round-collar outer robe, waist bound with a black leather belt, feet in a pair of thin-soled quick boots, appearing spirited and vigorous. His face was pale without a beard, but his eyes were extremely animated. Before speaking, he smiled first: “Oh my, so this is Young Master Yun who resolved a crisis with one technique! His Majesty heard that Young Master ingeniously made salt in Longyou, relieving the suffering of salt shortage in Longyou. The dragon countenance was greatly pleased. He specially commanded this servant to travel day and night to Longyou to see on behalf of His Majesty this fourteen-year-old prodigy. Seeing you today, you are indeed a person of remarkable appearance!”
“This makes the Internal Supervisor laugh. The Internal Supervisor came to proclaim the edict, yet Yun Ye is bedridden with illness—how impolite.” Not knowing how to address eunuchs, he used “Internal Supervisor” as a substitute. After all, as long as it’s an official title, it wouldn’t be wrong—eunuchs were officials too. After speaking, he pretended to try to get up.
The eunuch hurriedly held down Yun Ye, still speaking in his shrill voice: “Young Master Yun has illness upon his body. The Duke has already explained, so there’s no need to rise. His Majesty has always thirsted for worthy talents and will certainly not blame this small impropriety. This servant also cannot bear the title of ‘Great Man.’ Young Master might as well call this servant Palace Attendant Liu.” After speaking, he stood facing south with his back to the north. Old Cheng also stood to the side with cupped hands. Palace Attendant Liu cleared his throat lightly: “The Great Tang Emperor decrees: Now there is one of good family, surnamed Yun, named Ye, who from youth has upheld excellent conduct, restraining…”
The eunuch recited for a full tea-time duration. Except for the beginning, Yun Ye didn’t understand what these classical phrases were saying at all. He finally managed to catch the title “Baron of Ping’an County”—this was probably the noble rank being bestowed upon him. So he was also a lord now?
After Palace Attendant Liu finished reciting, Cheng Yaojin supported Yun Ye through three prostrations and nine kowtows while on the bed. That Palace Attendant Liu immediately changed to a smiling face, repeatedly cupping his hands in salute: “Congratulations, Your Lordship! Felicitations, Your Lordship! Enfeoffed as a baron at fourteen—becoming a marquis in the future is just around the corner!”
Yun Ye knew this fellow was angling for a reward. He felt all over his body but had no gold, silver, pearls, jade, or anything else that could be given as a tip. Just as he was feeling embarrassed, Cheng Chumo walked in carrying a tray, grinning as he said to Palace Attendant Liu: “Troubling the Internal Supervisor to travel a thousand li, my brother is endlessly grateful. Receiving this good news, how could we let the Internal Supervisor return empty-handed? This small token of respect—we hope Palace Attendant Liu won’t disdain it.”
Palace Attendant Liu was also a clever person. Smiling, he received the tray and saluted Yun Ye: “Thank you for Your Lordship’s reward.” He also saluted Cheng Yaojin, then carried the tray and withdrew from the camp tent.
Yun Ye had a very favorable impression of this perceptive and tactful eunuch. He wasn’t as unbearable as described in the history books? Tang Zhen in “潛書 (Qianshu)” described eunuchs thus: “Looking at them, they don’t seem to have human bodies; examining them, they don’t seem to have human faces; listening to them, they don’t seem to have human voices; observing them, they don’t seem close to human emotions.” He didn’t know if these fellows had prejudice against eunuchs or had suffered persecution by eunuchs. In any case, Yun Ye just felt that this Palace Attendant Liu was quite a decent person. Smiling before speaking, perceptive and tactful, giving people a feeling of spring breeze brushing across their face. As for whether his heart was dark inside—what the hell did that have to do with him?