“Scoundrels, scoundrels.” Yun Ye cursed as he walked along. He wasn’t cursing that flirtatious Hu girl, but rather cursing his fair-weather friends.

Just moments ago, the brothers had resisted the Hu girl’s temptations. Especially Zhangsun Chong, who enumerated the merits and flaws of the Hu girl—from body odor to chastity to skin and even gentleness. He perfectly displayed the qualities of an excellent wastrel, finally reaching a verdict: “We brothers are sons of noble families. How can we become brothers-in-law with peddlers and porters? This Hu girl doesn’t know how many men she’s already served. Do they think we brothers are the type to wash pots and clean stoves for others? This is truly a great humiliation.”

Needless to say, the personal guards nearby swung their scabbards and started beating. The Hu merchant fell to the ground begging for mercy in broken official speech.

Liu Fulu stood by grinning and teasing: “Barbarians—not a single good one among them. Every one of them blinded by profit. For a few copper coins, they parade wives, sisters, and daughters around half-naked to drum up business. Sleeping with someone who can pay is commonplace too.” After saying this, he held his belly with a vulgar expression. Clearly this fellow had already sampled such barbarian women.

Seeing everyone wasn’t interested in the barbarian woman, Liu Fulu spoke of how this time in suppressing the rebellion in Longyou, many guilty clans had been exiled and sold by the government. Outstanding ones filled official brothels, mediocre ones were sold as slaves. Right now there were still quite a few in the government office—a real headache for him!

That bastard said this deliberately. As the saying goes: “Three years in military camp—even a sow rivals Diaochan.” Let alone these three wastrel young masters who had been frequenting brothels since fourteen or fifteen years old—how could they still be pure youths? Hadn’t you noticed their eyes had turned green? They said: “Brothers, let’s go comfort these pitiful women. This is the responsibility of Chang’an gentlemen. As for the salt field handover matter, it has nothing to do with them—that’s troubling Xiao Ye then.”

After speaking, they urged Liu Fulu to lead them to comfort the pitiful people. They even took away Yun Ye’s personal guards. Liu Fulu wore a compassionate Maitreya Buddha expression, cheerfully dispatching subordinates to lead the way. He himself slowly walked toward the government office with Yun Ye.

A clever man indeed! Liu Fulu was a clever man! He privately gave Yun Ye five hundred taels of silver ingots, saying it was to thank Yun Ye for selflessly contributing his ancestral secret salt-making formula so this poor place of Lanzhou could become prosperous, bringing benefit to the region. Lanzhou had already carved a stele to record this—descendants would never forget Viscount Ping’an’s noble, selfless, respectable, sacred… whatever whatever spirit. To prevent the benefactor from having to beg while blessing the masses, local gentry pooled five hundred taels of cash to show a bit of appreciation.

Anyway, he said a pile of nice words. Private matters could all be discussed, but once it came to official business, the fat face wiped clean, displaying a completely righteous and stern attitude. Opening his mouth it was “this county,” closing it was “the common people.” In short, one sentence: no money. Otherwise, would Viscount Ping’an wait half a year to discuss it after next year’s tax revenue was collected?

Seeing Yun Ye’s face dark as a pot bottom, he said again: “Really no silver money. But there’s plenty of grain—how about hauling some grain back?”

Yun Ye ultimately hadn’t dealt with such slippery officials before and was confused by the other’s face-changing technique into a fog. For a moment he was actually at a loss.

Of course Longyou didn’t lack grain. There were few people to begin with, land was abundant as much as you wanted. Plus the Turks knocking at the gates had cut off the grain route to Chang’an. The previous year’s tax revenue hadn’t been sent to Chang’an, commercial routes were also broken, local grain merchants’ hands also held large amounts of grain. It could be said it had already flooded to disaster levels. They could only watch it rot in warehouses. This was the consequence of poor transportation. For this precious grain, Liu Fulu also worried day and night. Who would have thought that one day grain would become a burden? Opening history books, this was simply unheard of.

Grain? Something seemed to stir in Yun Ye’s heart that he couldn’t remember—very important, definitely related to grain. What was it? He stopped the chattering Liu Fulu and paced in the great hall, leaving Liu Fulu baffled.

Liu Fulu’s reception room was decorated as bloatedly as himself. Huge vases—four of them set out at once: fortune, prosperity, longevity, and joy—not missing a single one. Not quite blue, not quite green, just like a face that had been beaten. Not quite yellow either—garbage color, nauseating. Who knew if this lord had such appreciation standards, or was deliberately disgusting Yun Ye. The yellow bird catching insects pattern on top was so blurry, one couldn’t tell whether the yellow bird was pecking at a grasshopper or cricket. From the long whiskers, it really couldn’t be distinguished.

The willow tree outside the window no longer had leaves. Its soft branches whipped the eaves randomly in the wind like whips. The third year of Zhenguan was about to arrive.

Yun Ye’s heart no longer held confusion. You won’t accept it when I give you face? Then I’ll have Cheng Yaojin come find you. Fatty, no matter how slippery you are, before Old Cheng with his bandit origins, you’re not enough. You’re just an autumn grasshopper—won’t be hopping much longer.

Yun Ye put on a full-face smile, learning from the fatty to cup his hands: “Lord Liu truly deserves to be a good official as clear as water and bright as a mirror. This makes me admire you immensely. Since Yun Ye tied up his hair and began studying in youth, what I learned was nothing more than loyalty and forgiveness. Now that you and I are endlessly arguing over trivial fly-head profits, it’s truly shameful. How about you and I don’t talk business? It’s rare that today the clouds are light and wind gentle—please sir, bring out a pot of fine wine and a few small dishes. We’ll only discuss romance and moonlight, how about it?”

Liu Fulu couldn’t figure out what trick Yun Ye was playing, so he instructed maids to arrange wine and dishes.

Yun Ye indeed didn’t discuss official business. With Fatty Li, cups and dishes crossed, they talked and laughed happily. Unexpectedly, this fatty was actually a presented scholar graduate who had left his name on the golden honor roll. It was just that his origins were humble, with no solid backing in the court, so he could only come to this desolate place as an official.

No wonder he dared not give Old Cheng face. This fellow in four years had indeed governed this small county of less than ten thousand households in good order. In casual conversation, various allusions came at his fingertips. The classics, histories, philosophers, and collected works—he was thoroughly familiar with them all. Definitely not something a half-baked person like Yun Ye could compare with. Fortunately, Yun Ye also had advantages. The local customs and strange practices of various prefectures throughout the realm—he spoke of them until Liu Fulu was dumbstruck. Not until Cheng Chumo and the others came looking for Yun Ye, contentedly picking their teeth, did they part happily.

On the road back to camp, Yun Ye had a gloomy face and didn’t speak. Li Huairen, Zhangsun Chong, and Cheng Chumo thought he had been wronged and were about to turn their horses around to make trouble for Fatty Li. Only after Yun Ye’s repeated persuasion did they give up.

Upon reaching the military camp, Yun Ye carried the hemp sack filled with silver to the commander’s tent. Old Cheng was chatting idly with some old generals. Seeing Yun Ye return, the old generals knew there was business and took their leave one after another. After everyone left the tent, Old Cheng looked at Yun Ye’s gloomy face and asked: “What, wronged? That Liu Fulu—don’t look at him being fat and stupid, he’s actually a capable official. The two Guards’ armies totaling thirty thousand men—supplying provisions and fodder has never had a single mistake. Executing His Majesty’s decrees is also very appropriate. This old man won’t make things difficult for him. You boy also shouldn’t give him a hard time, otherwise military rods await.”

“Uncle, although your nephew didn’t achieve his objective today, I had a very pleasant conversation with Liu Fulu. This person is a learned scholar—how would your nephew be impolite? It’s just that while drinking and chatting happily, I remembered something my teacher said, which made your nephew unable to show even a trace of joy. So I hurried back.”

When Yun Ye saw the grasshopper-like thing on Liu Fulu’s vase, he suddenly remembered the great locust plague that swept the Guanzhong Plain in the third year of Zhenguan. Locusts poured down covering the sky and earth. Along the way, grain sprouts were eaten clean—even trees and wild grass couldn’t escape the locusts’ mouths. The entire Guanzhong Plain became barren for thousands of li. Folk rumors said this was Heaven’s punishment of Li Er for killing his brother and eliminating his sibling. Only by returning government to the Grand Emperor could the locust plague be extinguished.

Li Er found it hard to clear himself despite having a hundred mouths. In grief and indignation, he swallowed locusts alive and issued an edict saying: “If I am guilty, let the locusts devour my heart and liver. Punishing me alone is enough—do not eat my people’s food grain.”