HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 33: Dongfang Shuo

Chapter 33: Dongfang Shuo

Just as they emerged from the scattered battlefield, they encountered sixteen Tang army scouts head-on. Seeing the flying Tang character banner, the sixteen riders halted their horses on a slope. One rider descended the hillside and came before the convoy, loudly demanding the identity and purpose of the arrivals. His eyes were full of vigilance, his hand resting on his sword hilt as if ready to draw and fight at any moment.

Old Zhuang stood before his horse, his nostrils practically pointing skyward. Officers of the Left Militant Guard had always looked down on the useless wastes of the Right Militant Guard, finding them to have a womanish air about them. Every time they held drills, they were defeated by the Left Militant Guard, and moreover couldn’t accept defeat, behaving like sore losers. This was only because they were at the border—if they had met in Chang’an, it would have been another group brawl.

No need to look—they were all acquaintances. Old Zhuang recognized him, and he recognized Old Zhuang. They’d already fought several times. Just now, Old Zhuang thought he was being unnecessarily troublesome, like taking off one’s pants to fart. His own face was a living entry pass—what documents were needed? Unexpectedly, that cavalryman showed no courtesy and still demanded with a stern face that Old Zhuang produce military orders before he could proceed.

Old Zhuang, who never threw his weight around, turned iron-blue with anger and said to the cavalryman: “Old Xing, we’ve got a friendship forged through fighting. Right now we haven’t reached the main camp yet, so naturally the documents should be handed to the Grand Commander. Do you think you’re qualified to see them? Besides, when the hell did you even learn to read? Why don’t I know about it?”

Old Xing’s face turned bright red at once, and he roared at Old Zhuang: “Zhuang Santing, you’re no longer a man of the Left Militant Guard! Now that you’re following a kid whose hair hasn’t even grown in yet, you dare act wild on my Right Militant Guard’s turf?”

As soon as the words fell, a huge horse leg smashed into the cavalryman’s face, knocking him off his horse. Cheng Chumo jumped down from the sled, dusted off his hands, while Zhuang Santing was already pinning down the cavalryman and beating him wildly. The cavalry on the hillside whooped and charged down. The auxiliary soldiers also drew their weapons, and both sides faced off.

“Who commands the Right Militant Guard now?” Yun Ye stopped the auxiliary soldiers’ actions and looked up to ask the squad leader in charge.

The squad leader saw Yun Ye’s waist token hanging at his waist and could tell from the pattern that this was a great general. He quickly jumped down from his horse, clasped his fists in salute and said: “Reporting to the General, the Right Militant Guard is now directly under the jurisdiction of the Grand Commander of the Dingxiang Circuit.”

“Go report to the Grand Commander that Marquis Lantian Yun Ye, at the Grand Commander’s orders, has come to serve at the front and requests to return to camp.” After speaking, he returned to the sled to continue sleeping.

The squad leader’s face turned ashen, and Old Xing, who had just gotten up, looked even more deathly pale. Military men were usually unruly—they didn’t dare talk nonsense about their immediate superiors, but they had no respect for those marquises and dukes who were a million miles away from them. When their tempers flared, they would spout whatever came to mind. The crude curses about mothers and fathers came out habitually and couldn’t be changed right away. If they weren’t overheard, naturally there was no problem. But if the person in question heard them clearly, that was a major incident.

Yun Ye didn’t take it to heart at all. Cheng Chumo had merely thrown over a horse leg—they’d heard worse than this, so naturally they wouldn’t haggle with a common soldier. Niu Jinda had been spoken of even more harshly, yet no one had seen the old man do anything to the common soldiers.

“My lord, just now Xing Daniu unintentionally offended my lord. Please show mercy, my lord.” The squad leader knelt on one knee to plead for his brother.

Cheng Chumo chuckled and returned to the sled to continue his nap, ignoring these common soldiers. Whether to kill or punish, preserve or dismiss, depended on Yun Ye’s decision.

“Staying in the main camp all day without practicing your skills—you just damn well practice your mouths instead! A stinking mouth with no gatekeeper, spouting all kinds of reckless talk. Fortunately, this marquis is also from the military ranks, otherwise, you bastard wouldn’t have your life. Ten slaps to the face—hard ones. Learn a lesson.”

The squad leader was overjoyed. He swung his arm wide and gave Old Xing a thorough face-slapping. After the beating, Old Xing’s face was unrecognizable. He even ran over to pick up the horse leg and place it on the sled before mounting his horse and galloping toward the main camp.

Li Jing held Yun Ye’s transfer order in his hand, looking at it from left to right. No matter what, he couldn’t remember ever issuing such an order. He only remembered telling Yun Ye to scram back to Chang’an. When had he ever ordered him to serve at the front?

The military Registrar retrieved the archived documents and examined them one by one, finally finding the original record. It clearly stated that the Grand Commander had ordered Yun Ye to return to Chang’an—absolutely not to serve at the front. This document was fake.

Li Jing was greatly alarmed. This forged document was flawless. His handwriting was exactly the same, the Grand Commander’s seal perfect in every detail. How could he know that the writing and seal were real—only the words had been rearranged in order, with a few characters added and a few removed?

On the eve of battle, such a strange incident had occurred. Li Jing was extremely anxious and hurriedly dispatched messengers to verify one by one whether the orders distributed to each general had been tampered with. For three consecutive days, generals from various places reported back that the orders were accurate without error. Only then did Li Jing set aside his worries and consider the difficult problem of how to safely and accurately deliver military documents. He knew clearly that the messenger who had delivered the letter to Shuofang had probably long since perished—otherwise such a strange incident wouldn’t have occurred. The question was: who was the enemy?

Yun Ye didn’t tell Li Jing where this document came from. Xu Jingzong had even less inclination to do so. Although Sun Simiao wanted to speak, he was stopped by Yun Ye, who taught him a new method of transmitting secrets. Once again, both Xu Jingzong and Sun Simiao were shocked speechless.

Li Jing was considering how to strengthen messenger security. Sending many people as escorts at once wasn’t feasible—over such a long distance, ten people and a hundred people made almost no difference. Cipher symbols and cipher writings were too simple and couldn’t convey complex text. This wouldn’t work, that wouldn’t work either. Li Jing discovered he had no way to resolve this situation. This matter had to be resolved soon. Once his orders contradicted a general’s opinion, the general would doubt the document’s authenticity. Once the military began to doubt each other, what battle could be fought? Now, whoever had tampered with the documents still hadn’t been identified. Currently, Xie Li had stationed a hundred thousand troops just ahead. If chaos broke out in the army, he hardly dared imagine what kind of terrible scene that would be.

Sun Simiao came to visit. They had been old friends for many years. He really couldn’t bear to let Li Jing suffer such torment, so he specially came to relieve his worries.

“Brother Pharmacist, why are you suffering so?” Seeing his old friend’s haggard appearance, Sun Simiao let out a long sigh and asked despite knowing the answer.

“All trivial military matters. This old man, as Grand Commander, is now in a difficult position—unable to repay even a fraction of the Emperor’s grace above, unable to behead Xie Li and pacify the realm below. Truly shameful.” Seeing his old friend inquire, Li Jing didn’t conceal anything and told Sun Simiao that he was currently in a difficult position, though he didn’t specify why.

“Actually, this old Daoist knows a thing or two about why the Grand Commander is anxious. Although this old Daoist cannot share your worries and solve your difficulties, I know who can help the Grand Commander.” Sun Simiao said with a chuckle, stroking his long beard with the air of an enlightened master.

Li Jing suddenly stood up, clasped his hands in salute: “If the Daoist Master can resolve my confusion, Li Jing will be eternally grateful. However, this matter is of great importance. I wonder how confident the person recommended by the Daoist Master is?” Getting a clear answer from Sun Simiao was something Li Jing had to do, because it concerned the army’s safety and he had to be cautious.

“Go find Yun Ye. He already knew this document was fake long ago. He deliberately traveled thousands of miles to your army, I hear, only to witness your heroic command of thousands upon thousands of troops and incidentally make a small fortune. He knows the ins and outs of the matter clearly. On his way here, he had contact with the thieves who made the false document, but didn’t know who exactly they were. A false alarm.” Sun Simiao wasn’t accustomed to speaking in roundabout ways and explained the whole story to Li Jing from beginning to end.

Li Jing wasn’t Cheng Yaojin. Old Cheng trusted Yun Ye unconditionally, but when it came to him, there had to be some discount.

“Even I myself cannot tell if that document is real or fake. How does he know?” Li Jing sought confirmation from Sun Simiao.

Sun Simiao pulled out the magnifying glass from his pocket and handed it to Li Jing, telling him to reexamine that document.

Having the means to distinguish authenticity from forgery, Li Jing’s worries dissipated by more than half in an instant. After learning how to use the magnifying glass, he saw those obvious forgery traces and let out a long sigh of relief.

The only ones who could put on airs as elders in front of Yun Ye were Cheng Yaojin and Niu Jinda. Li Jing knew this very well from his time in Chang’an. Since Yun Ye wasn’t under his command, he could only receive Yun Ye with the courtesy due to a guest. Yun Ye didn’t act pretentious. He knew now wasn’t the time to settle accounts with Li Jing for that kick. With a great enemy before them, there was no room for petty scheming.

“Grand Commander, the one who forged the documents was a group of bandits. Their leader is named Na Rimu. Behind him is a considerable force providing support. I don’t yet know who they are, but I can determine they are all people of exceptional talent and intelligence, not to be underestimated. This junior nearly lost his life at their hands. I hope the Grand Commander will be careful.”

“Na Rimu? Just an obscure nobody from the Kang Kingdom. Since he dares to set his sights on my great army, how can this old man let him live! When have my Great Tang officers and soldiers ever feared a petty bandit? After this old man destroys the Eastern Turks, I want to see whether this bandit has grown a bear’s heart and leopard’s gall.”

When two armies faced off, whom had Li Jing ever feared? A great pile of famous generals and fierce warriors had died by his hand. He was fully qualified to look down on all the heroes under heaven.

“He’s merely a minor affliction. In this junior’s view, he has at most three more months to live—no need to pay attention. I have here a simple yet very effective secret military method, far superior to cipher symbols and cipher writings. Even love letters between men and women can be accurately conveyed.”

To strengthen Li Jing’s confidence, Yun Ye deliberately spoke very assuredly. The main general’s morale could only be boosted, not deflated. If Li Jing lost confidence, these hundred thousand Great Tang soldiers would follow him through the gates of hell.

The cipher symbols created by Jiang Taigong with his fishing rod naturally had their mysteries. The encryption method of cipher writing was still being referenced in modern times. Who dared underestimate the wisdom of the ancients?

Li Jing’s tense features relaxed. Looking at Yun Ye, he said: “This old man has never underestimated your intelligence. Not just me—even His Majesty speaks of you with full praise, only you’re too monstrous, so people are somewhat on guard. Don’t wonder why this old man is telling you this—consider it payment for alleviating Hong Fu’s illness. You’re comparable to Dongfang Shuo from the Han Wu period—both extraordinarily intelligent figures. Unfortunately, what raises one up also brings one down. Because you’re too monstrous, you’re destined not to accomplish much in the court. You’re even a bit cleverer than Dongfang Shuo—you have no attachment to power and position whatsoever, single-mindedly wanting to run an academy, using your talents for teaching and educating people. This precisely meets everyone’s hopes, which is why you’ve sailed smoothly to where you are now. This old man hopes you can truly establish an academy unprecedented in all history.”

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