HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 22: The First Spit

Chapter 22: The First Spit

From the day Great Tang was established, Chang’an City had never changed its inherent rhythm. One hundred and eight ward markets opened in sequence, and people seemed to have forgotten yesterday’s clamor, still beginning their daily labor. Rather than concern themselves with those lofty noble families, they were better off worrying about today’s rice prices. After all, this winter the rice price had risen by a full thirty percent, and who knew whether those disaster victims who had eaten up Chang’an’s grain had left yet.

Greedy children rubbed their sleepy eyes and looked at the elm tree at the street corner, always wondering why those tiny elm seeds never grew larger. Yesterday they had already seen green buds on the tender branches, so why did they still look the same today? Resentfully, the child urinated at the tree root—this damned old elm tree had disappointed people once again.

Looking again at the locust trees along both sides of the road and swallowing their saliva, compared to elm seeds, locust flowers were truly delicious. Gathering a handful of white locust flowers and steaming them together with coarse rice—that sweet fragrance could waft all the way to the market street. Unfortunately, locust trees only bloomed in April, and now there were still just bare branches with nothing on them.

The dust raised by galloping horses was always so annoying. In spring, Chang’an City was perpetually gray and hazy if it didn’t rain.

A rider jumped down from his horse, carrying a bucket of paste in his hand. Using a flat brush dipped in paste, he brushed it twice on the wall, then pulled out a sheet of paper from the bamboo tube on his horse’s back and pasted it on the ward wall. Looking up and down to confirm it was well-posted, he mounted his horse and galloped toward the next target.

There wasn’t just one or two such riders—they were everywhere, all doing the same work: brushing paste and posting papers.

This was truly novel. In Chang’an City, besides the government posting notices at the city gates and two wanted posters with sketches of notorious bandits, who had ever seen someone paste precious paper all over the city? There was even writing on them, but not a single character could be recognized. Wasn’t this maddening?

Some busybody immediately called out the grocery store owner. In the neighborhood, he was the most learned. Whenever any family held a wedding or funeral, when had they ever done without him?

The grocery store owner coughed twice, cleared his throat, and prepared to read aloud loudly to show off his learning. However, as soon as he saw clearly what was written above, he immediately covered his mouth and with a whoosh darted back into the grocery store, put up the shutters, and closed up shop completely, not even doing business anymore.

Seeing the grocery store owner act like a startled donkey made the neighbors even more anxious, not knowing what was actually written above. Could it be that the government was going to levy a per capita tax in the city again? Opinions varied widely, and for a time there was no clear answer. The ward chief and the patrolmen were currently reporting to the Jinwu Guard officials, and for the moment no one literate could be found.

A scholar wearing a round-collar robe walked over. At a glance, one could tell he was a learned gentleman. The elderly respectfully cupped their fists in greeting. The young scholar was quite amiable and without another word came beneath the posted notice. After glancing at it, he said to the surrounding neighbors: “An evil criminal has appeared in Chang’an City who especially likes to make people into candles—the kind where they insert a funnel into a person’s mouth, pour boiling wax oil into their belly, scald them to death, then insert a wick and use them as candles. Didn’t Chang’an City always have missing children? Perhaps this evil criminal made the children into candles to light up the nights.”

Before the scholar had finished speaking, someone grabbed him and asked who this evil criminal was. His own child had been missing for two years. The scholar told him that this matter hadn’t been discovered by anyone until Marquis Lantian discovered one such candle at the Dou family residence in Xinghua Ward. Upon careful examination, he actually recognized this candle—it turned out to be a songstress from Pingkang Ward near the Eastern Market named Lüzhu. Just two days ago, he had watched her dance, but in the blink of an eye she had become a candle. The marquis was naturally displeased, so he posted notices warning the neighbors to carefully watch their children and daughters, lest they be tricked into being made into candles. He personally went to the Chang’an County yamen to file a complaint to seek justice for that pitiful woman.

As soon as the scholar finished speaking, he cupped his hands and prepared to leave. As he departed, he still warned the neighbors to be careful of their daughters and sons. Looking at the neighbors who had lost children now wailing in grief, he sighed and left.

After turning the street corner, he pulled out a pinch of fake mustache from his sleeve and stuck it on his upper lip, then went to the next street corner to continue explaining to neighbors who didn’t understand the truth…

The child who had just been drooling at the elm tree’s tender buds was immediately dragged home by his mother. After receiving several slaps on the bottom, he heard his mother tell him about the tragic affair of the Dou family making children into candles. The child was so frightened he couldn’t even cry anymore and just kept burrowing into his mother’s embrace.

The children who had originally been running wild all over Chang’an City disappeared. Young girls who liked to stroll the streets disappeared. Even those who had no choice but to go out walked hurriedly as if chased by wolves, glancing left and right like thieves.

When the sun moved toward the west, people finally breathed a sigh of relief. Some clever ones thought this was just some rich wastrel causing trouble and prepared to go home and let out the children who had been locked in the house all day for some fresh air. Who would have expected that Marquis Yun actually took his complaint to the Chang’an County yamen to file charges? From the eastern end all the way to the western end, half of Chang’an City’s people witnessed this marquis of righteous spirit and gallant heart, with a weathered expression, going to the Chang’an County yamen.

Clearly, the county magistrate stood at the yamen entrance to receive him, yet he insisted on striking both the bell and drum on either side of the county yamen. Before filing complaints, commoners always had to strike the bell and drum to urge the lazy magistrate to hold court and handle cases. This rule had existed since the Han Dynasty. Yun Ye had never had the opportunity to strike these things—if he had grievances, he generally resolved them by finding His Imperial Majesty. But today he wore ordinary clothes, which meant he could only proceed with his judicial process as a commoner would.

Commoners had no way to sue officials. Suing officials as a commoner was already a crime. Even if one won the lawsuit, eighty strokes with the staff were inevitable, not one less, and exile for three thousand li would absolutely not be one li less. Looking back at the large crowd of Chang’an citizens behind him, the corners of Yun Ye’s mouth showed a trace of a smile. The Dou family—the Dou family would be submerged in this tide.

Chang’an County Magistrate Zuo Kui had never hated being an official as much as he did today. Standing at the yamen entrance, he watched helplessly as that marquis struck the court-summoning drum. That wasn’t striking a drum—it was summoning death.

The county deputy and county captain likewise had faces the color of earth. Yesterday evening, people from the Dou family had told them that if Yun Ye came to file charges and they dared to accept the complaint, the best fate for their entire families would be exile to Lingnan.

Yun Ye sat in the county yamen’s great hall drinking a bowl of yogurt, leisurely watching the three officials reading his complaint. They had no choice but to read it and had no choice but to accept it. Yun Ye saw Hong Cheng wearing a bailiff’s uniform standing to one side of the court, leaning on a bamboo staff with his back against the “Silence” placard, dozing off.

Killing a low-status songstress wasn’t considered a serious matter. Criminal law only stipulated fines in copper and flogging. At most, it was merely a one-year exile sentence. Every year in Chang’an City, who knew how many servants and maids died mysteriously—no one had ever seen anyone come to file charges with officials. Most cases were settled with a bit of compensation. Officials were too busy with matters concerning free citizens to have time to care about lowly people’s affairs, so the government had always turned a blind eye to such matters.

Who would have known that when one walks the night road often enough, sooner or later one encounters ghosts? Perhaps the wronged souls of lowly people had accumulated too much resentment in Chang’an, finally giving birth to a major incident where a marquis sued a duke’s household for torture and murder. The charge was quite peculiar—crimes against humanity. Even searching through all of Great Tang’s laws, one couldn’t find such a strange charge.

Lin Kui gritted his teeth and said to Yun Ye: “Marquis Yun, since our Great Tang promulgated the ‘Wude Code’ in the seventh year of Wude, there has never been this charge of crimes against humanity. This humble official, as an official close to the people, has also studied the laws of successive dynasties, yet has never heard of this law. I hope Marquis Yun can explain it to this humble official.”

“Since ancient times, laws have been established to correct the behavioral norms of all subjects under heaven, using strict laws to tell us which things can be done and which things cannot be done. Since the Qin Dynasty, the way of benevolence and forgiveness has always been implemented throughout. Harsh punishments have become fewer and fewer. Those cruel corporal punishments in history now only remain as flogging and caning in our Great Tang. Dismemberment by five horses is gone, castration is gone, gouging out eyes and cutting off tongues are gone. Even for the chief of the ten abominations—treason—it’s merely beheading for the principal offender, while his father and nephews have their punishment reduced by one degree to strangulation, leaving a whole corpse.”

“This shows that the court’s intention in establishing laws is to educate subjects not to break the law, achieving the purpose of learning from past mistakes to avoid future ones and curing the illness to save the patient. It’s not that we want to forcibly exile or behead perfectly good people. Who likes making things bloody? Just last year, even though it was a year of great disaster, weren’t there only twenty-seven criminals beheaded in our Great Tang?”

“Why? This is a sign that a golden age is about to arrive. On the borders, our dynasty pacified the Turks and captured Xieli alive. Among the court, you officials close to the people have made indispensable contributions. On one hand, you had to supply grain and military equipment to the armies at the front, while on the other hand, you had to provide food for those disaster victims to prevent them from freezing and starving to death.”

“Now spring has arrived, and our Great Tang is about to welcome a brand new year. We are all rubbing our fists and preparing to work hard again for the approaching golden age, so that all of us can have good days. We have a wise monarch, brave generals, sagacious officials, and diligent commoners. Why shouldn’t we be able to have good days?”

Tang Dynasty people had never heard a speech before. Although Yun Ye himself was already disgusted by his own words, the officials behind the desk and the commoners at the yamen entrance—hearing for the first time this declaration about the approaching golden age—were all emotionally stirred. Even Hong Cheng, who had been dozing there, opened his eyes wide, as if recognizing Yun Ye for the first time.

As soon as Yun Ye’s words stopped, the commoners roared their approval. Today’s protagonists were them. Yun Ye turned around to face the surging crowd of people and shouted hoarsely: “On such a fine day of harmonious spring weather, there are always some unknown disgusting matters occurring. It is that Dou family living in Xinghua Ward who claims to be a family of poetry and propriety—they tortured a fifteen-year-old woman and turned her alive into a human candle to vent their anger.”

“From the moment a person is born crying to growing into an adult, how many hardships must they endure? How much effort must parents invest? We all hold the deepest love imagining that after our children grow up, our sons can bring glory to the family and our daughters can marry into good families and live happy lives. Who would hope for their child to become a candle? Tell me, who hopes for their child to become a candle? Our Great Tang has very few people—on such a vast territory there are only a few million people. Each time His Majesty performs the heaven sacrifice, he sincerely prays that the common people will have prosperous descendants and livestock will multiply. But what is the Dou family doing? You are treating human lives as worthless!”

“Dou family, how can you be so heartless? When we see an injured puppy, we feel great compassion. Why did you ignore that pitiful woman’s pleas? Why did you ignore her crying and begging for mercy there? How could you bear to pour boiling wax oil into that woman’s belly? Where is heavenly justice? Where is the Dou family’s human heart? A family for ten thousand generations, transmitting poetry and propriety through the family—bah!”

Following Yun Ye’s spit, the enraged Chang’an commoners all spat in unison toward the direction of Xinghua Ward.

Novel List

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Latest Chapters