HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 13: Defensive Measures

Chapter 13: Defensive Measures

Can’t beat you, but can’t I beat your son? Li Tai’s screams finally consoled Yun Ye’s wounded heart somewhat.

After war, peace always comes. Yun Ye carefully helped Li Tai arrange his disheveled hair, placed the golden crown that had fallen to the side back on his head, used a handkerchief to wipe clean his pitch-black face, and smoothed out his clothes. Only then did he heave a long sigh of relief.

“Ye Zi, you’re afraid my father will discover you beat me, so that’s why you’re tidying me up, right?” Li Tai had always been a clever child.

“Ye Zi, do you know why I’m not too angry about you beating me?” A trace of cunning floated across Li Tai’s fair, clean little face.

“Don’t know. I have a bad premonition. Your father might beat me. I can sense it. When he beat me before, he had exactly this cat-catching-mouse look.” Yun Ye was also very puzzled. He really couldn’t recall what he’d done that deserved a beating.

“You’ll find out. I guarantee this beating you receive won’t be light. So I magnanimously forgive you for beating me this time. After all, in front of someone worse off than me, I have the qualification to forgive.”

As the two were talking, Li Er emerged from the gate with a darkened face. It seemed he hadn’t broken the academy’s gate puzzle. Although he walked very slowly, in the face of powerful physical inertia, he still failed.

“Father Emperor, such trivial matters—where would they need you to personally act? Just leave it to your son. You manage ten thousand affairs daily. If you use your thoughts on this, it’s not a blessing for the people of the realm. Your son will handle it. It’s just a small illusion technique—seeing through it is enough.”

Yun Ye was very surprised. He had never taught Li Tai these conversational arts, yet this kid had mastered them without instruction. His cultivation was quite deep!

Li Er’s dragon countenance indeed became greatly pleased. He patted his son’s back of the head, encouraging him to forge ahead bravely in his studies, strive to surpass Yun Ye early, and then look down on him.

Very strange—whenever fathers lightly patted their sons’ back of the head to show affection, the foolish boys would always grin with mouths agape in ignorant silly laughter. Every family was the same, from poor households to princes and generals—none could escape.

Pumped full of chicken blood, Li Tai charged into the maze first. Li Er followed behind enthusiastically. Wu She also once again stepped into the gate. Sighing, Yun Ye walked in from the side door.

Li Tai ignored all the maze’s illusions, striding forward boldly. Clearly there was no path ahead, yet crossing over that broken wall, paths would appear behind it. Clearly the flower bed was full of thorns, yet Li Tai advanced fearlessly, the thorns pricking his body as if they were nothing. Li Er carefully touched a spike and discovered it was soft, without any threat. Clearly ahead was a water pit, yet he walked across stepping on the water’s surface, even explaining to his father that the wooden stakes below the water’s surface were positioned in the shape of the Big Dipper—to be careful not to step into empty space. Last time General Li Jing had fallen into the water pit right here.

This was something that old fellow Gongshu Mu had installed in his home later. If he’d done this from the start, even Yun Ye couldn’t have passed. Li Jing considered himself a master of military tactics. Coming to the academy to escape the heat, he had walked to this step himself and forgot that among the seven stars, the Shaking Light star had one dark star. As a result, he fell into the dirty water ditch, utterly embarrassed, yet loudly exclaimed it was thrilling.

For some reason, hearing of Li Jing’s misfortune, Li Er laughed even more heartily. They quickly came before the spirit wall. Li Tai skillfully moved the numbers to the sequence one-two-three-four-five-six-seven. The spirit wall immediately opened. Suddenly Li Tai pushed his father aside, and he himself also crouched down. A white shadow came whistling toward Wu She’s face. Wu She didn’t panic either, turning his palm into a blade and slashing diagonally down at the white shadow.

With a “poof,” the white shadow burst, and white powder scattered everywhere through the sky. Wu She protected Li Er and shook his robe sleeves. A fierce wind arose, blowing away the white powder. He stepped forward, assuming the posture of a fierce tiger pouncing on prey, no longer having a trace of a eunuch’s soft demeanor—imposing and dignified, the bearing of a master fully revealed.

Li Er coughed lightly and said to Yun Ye who was walking over: “You arranged this? Want to see my joke?” Touching the white powder on his body and discovering it was flour, Li Er relaxed his expression and asked Yun Ye.

“Even if this subject had a thousand heads, I wouldn’t dare trifle with Your Majesty. About this matter, you should ask your son.” Yun Ye decisively sold out Li Tai. Li Tai’s face turned ashen as he lowered his head without speaking.

Yun Ye continued: “Little Tai didn’t want General Li to break through the maze too easily, so he installed this bag of flour himself, preparing to embarrass General Li somewhat.” Li Tai looked at Yun Ye in shock. When had he ever had thoughts about dealing with Li Jing? Clearly he had momentarily forgotten in his pride that there was still one more trap.

Li Er immediately became happy, patting Li Tai’s shoulder again and saying: “Good son, you have spirit! Just that flour is ultimately grain—wasting it is a pity. Next time use lime instead.” Having said this, he began fiddling with the code tiles himself, playing with great delight. Wu She also shook off the flour on his body and stood behind Li Er again, not saying a word, as if that peerless master from earlier wasn’t him at all.

Yun Ye gave Li Tai a look that said “you owe me another favor,” then began staring at Wu She, preparing to properly observe a true martial arts master. His staring made Wu She very uncomfortable.

After Li Er had played to his heart’s content, the four of them passed through the spirit wall and came to the academy’s garden. Yun Ye looked at the slowly closing hidden wall thoughtfully and asked Li Er: “Your Majesty, can you still remember the numbers you just arranged?”

“I just randomly arranged them, didn’t pay attention. Is there a problem?” Li Er asked strangely.

“Nothing major. It’s just that the academy’s main gate can never be opened again, unless Little Tai can crack the numbers Your Majesty just randomly set. Or Little Tai can spend money to dismantle the entire hidden wall and rebuild a new one—that would work. Nothing major. As long as Your Majesty is happy, Little Tai will handle everything.”

Li Er touched his nose, somewhat embarrassed. Making his own son spend money and effort—the academy clearly wouldn’t spend a single coin. Hadn’t he heard Yun Ye calling “Little Tai” so diligently, one after another?

The elm trees in the garden were already lush and green, just a bit short, arranged in ridges like low walls. Standing at a high point, Li Er pointed at the strange pattern formed by the tree walls and asked Yun Ye: “These tree walls also have mysteries?”

“Yes, Your Majesty. In a few years when the tree walls grow to one zhang high, they’ll form another maze. The academy will plant poisonous thorny vines among the tree walls, and will also raise some rather large hornets. What does Your Majesty think?”

Yun Ye carefully inquired about His Majesty the Emperor’s opinion, only to discover His Majesty the Emperor was looking at him with a peculiar gaze. Even Wu She looked strange.

“Your Majesty, this subject has discovered that Eunuch Wu She’s martial arts are extremely high. When the tree walls are grown, how about inviting him to test the maze’s power? If it’s too simple, this subject has heard that in the Western Regions there’s a type of red ant that specifically spits acidic liquid. They most enjoy living together in groups. This subject plans to get some over and, after cultivating them skillfully at the academy’s biology institute, release them on the tree walls. What does Your Majesty think?”

Wu She shuddered, looking at the emperor with pleading eyes, afraid the emperor would momentarily agree to Yun Ye’s unreasonable request. Li Tai, on the other hand, was so excited he kept jumping—he was just short of clapping and cheering.

Li Er gave both Yun Ye and Li Tai a heavy slap on the back of their heads and said: “Nonsense. Wu She is the imperial family’s most loyal guard. How can he be casually used to break through these death traps? The academy is a place for teaching and educating people. How can it have such vicious mechanisms?”

Wu She was so moved that tears were about to flow. He deeply felt proud of His Majesty the Emperor’s wise decision. Yun Ye and Li Tai were very disappointed—unable to witness the scene of Wu She battling hornets and ants was quite regrettable.

“Your Majesty, it’s very simple. The purpose of doing this is to safeguard some important research institutions of our dynasty. The academy now has new technologies and new knowledge emerging endlessly. Little Tai’s waterwheel has also reached the most critical stage. Once this thing is successfully tested, our Great Tang’s iron smelting and armor manufacturing capabilities will increase tenfold or twentyfold. This subject doesn’t want these things to be used by people or countries outside our Great Tang. If anyone wants to steal them, this subject will absolutely kill however many come, without the slightest mercy.”

Li Er thought for a moment and said to Yun Ye: “Since you have ideas, then go do it. When the time comes, someone will come to test the reliability of these mazes for you. Don’t set your sights on Wu She. So he was somewhat disrespectful to you—to constantly scheme against a eunuch everywhere, don’t you feel ashamed?”

Li Er would definitely discuss this matter with Yun Ye in detail. Now wasn’t the place to talk. Yun Ye also closed his mouth, no longer mentioning these secret arrangements, and randomly wandered through the academy with Li Er.

The sun had come out from the west! The typically lazy to an outrageous degree Gongshu Mu was actually teaching today, and teaching real skills no less—the sixteen-pillar Luban Lock. This was his family’s exclusive intelligence-developing method. How could he bear to take it out and show off?

More than twenty students of various sizes were assembling them with sweat pouring down their heads. From six pillars all the way to sixteen pillars, the difficulty kept increasing. These students were fortunate. However, seeing the large screen at the back of the classroom, Yun Ye immediately understood why the old fellow was so generous and diligent today. Yang Fei and Yin Fei were sitting behind the screen, also fiddling with them until their heads were covered in sweat. Personal maids constantly wiped sweat for their mistresses, while two eunuchs vigorously fanned fans.

The old fellow was currently spouting spittle eloquently: “This is a wonderful principle that the Gongshu family discovered by accident. It’s been passed down for over a thousand years. It’s the product of my ancestor’s research on various mechanical arts reaching the ultimate level. Even Marquis Yun praised this lock endlessly. What’s even more laughable is that he himself made a set of locks, but they were unlocked when my great-great-grandson, just over one year old, sat his bottom down on them. Speaking of authenticity, you still have to look at my Gongshu family’s.”

Saying this was shameless. He himself had labored for a long time with no clue about that lock mechanism, only for his great-great-grandson to accidentally sit it open, yet he still had the face to take it out and show off. Yun Ye gained new understanding of the old man’s shamelessness.

Li Er had come to the academy secretly—even his two imperial consorts didn’t know. Seeing his wives playing happily, his hands also itched. He told Yun Ye and Li Tai to scram, then entered the classroom with Wu She.

“I refuse to believe you dare indulge in your wives in the classroom!” Yun Ye left there with endless curses. Truth be told, he really wanted to rush in, expose Gongshu Mu’s lies, let the truth be revealed to the world, and clear his own name. Now driven away by Li Er, he had grievances with nowhere to appeal. The hat of his incompetence was firmly affixed.

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