Between two men, there are always some unseemly topics. At the small wine table, the two leaned close together, whispering secretively. From time to time they would point at the women coming and going in the courtyard. The bolder ones would spit in disgust, while the shyer ones would blush and hide inside, refusing to come out.
“Only today do I realize that brother’s rise to marquis rank was absolutely not by chance. The three treasures of officialdom—thick skin, black heart, and shamelessness—you wield with perfect ease. But are you certain that Spring Breeze Powder actually works? Ninth Lady has been through disaster—her willpower is not comparable to that of ordinary weak women.”
“This younger brother is certain. No matter how chaste and virtuous a woman she is, once she takes this medicine, she cannot escape elder brother’s grasp.”
“How can you be so confident? It’s as if you’ve taken it yourself.” After saying this, seeing Yun Ye fall silent, he asked in surprise, “Don’t tell me you really fell victim to this kind of drug? Who was it—was the one who administered it a man or a woman?” After asking, he even shifted his body backward.
“A princess—the Great Tang’s Princess Imperial. Now your nephew is already one year old. If it had been a man, believe me or not, I would burn down all of Chang’an.” Anyone would feel somewhat embarrassed and angry when their shameful secrets were exposed.
Xi Tong burst into loud laughter, shaking dust down from the eaves in streams. Yun Ye was momentarily startled, then joined in the laughter. Embarrassing matters, when brought out and shared among brothers, became amusing anecdotes.
The whale meat was steamed and brought up. The children habitually gathered around their father. Neither of the two adults ate—they just fed it all to the children, chopstick by chopstick.
“These are your hope?” Yun Ye pointed at the children who scattered after finishing the fish. One could see that Xi Tong watched these children with smiles in the corners of his eyes.
“Yes. This old man is thirty-five this year. I’ve wasted half my life, wandering between life and death for so long—it’s time I had a nest. Now I lack neither wife nor children, and after you came, I don’t even lack grain. What else is there to let go of? Right now the children’s foundation is weak. Once Ninth Lady has taught them enough characters, I’ll take them to Chang’an to find you and place them in the academy for proper education. Whether they succeed or not, it’s up to their own fortune. As their father, I’ll have fulfilled my responsibility. When they’ve grown up and can support their own mothers, if you’re tired of being an official, we’ll go to the ends of the earth together again. To be honest, I can never forget the scenery there.”
Speaking of this, Yun Ye let out a long sigh. After thinking for a moment, he said, “To reach the White Jade Capital is almost impossible. Unless there’s tremendous fortune, otherwise it’s just throwing one’s life away for nothing. There are some things I don’t want to hide from you. When Tian Xiangzi wanted to go to the White Jade Capital, I didn’t try too hard to stop him—I could even say I fanned the flames. He was a very dangerous person who had to die. A prosperous age is about to arrive. I want to see white sails dotting the eight waters around Chang’an, merchants like clouds. I want to see the common people’s faces bearing proud smiles.”
“And Tian Xiangzi was the great enemy of all beautiful things. He had long seen through all worldly matters. Everyone’s life and death meant nothing to him, including his own. To achieve his goals, he wouldn’t hesitate to lead everyone to death together. I’ve witnessed how terrifying a sage who has turned to darkness can be. The Great Tang cannot withstand such torment.”
“So even though you knew he couldn’t reach the White Jade Capital, you pointed out the path for him and let him go to his death with his dreams?” Xi Tong sadly lowered his head and continued, “He was grateful to you until his death.”
Yun Ye’s hand trembled. The cup slipped from his grasp, fell on the stone slab, and shattered. Scheming against people was absolutely not a pleasant experience, even with the most noble purpose.
“I knew Master Tian couldn’t enter the White Jade Capital—he had killed too many people. Back then I followed at Master Tian’s side. I watched how he lured Zhu Jie into eating people. He had a secret manual that recorded how eating a person would gain you that person’s vital essence and blood, thereby extending life. It turned out that was wrong. To prove that book was spouting nonsense, Zhu Jie ate at least three hundred people. In the end, he even ate his own concubine and son. By then, Zhu Jie was no longer human—violent, irritable, his eyes blood-red. Looking at all people was like looking at food. He had already become an evil spirit, a wild beast, about to lose his last shred of sanity.”
“When Master Tian saw this situation, he just said ‘what a pity,’ burned that book, and left with us. Later, Zhu Jie was besieged by everyone under heaven and burned alive in his mansion. I think even at his final moment, he wanted to beg Master Tian to give him a way to live, but unfortunately he was a failed waste, and Master Tian abandoned him.”
“So I thought, Master Tian being seduced by you and finally dying in heartbreak and despair—this was Heaven’s best arrangement. The reason I accompanied him to the end was to see whether Heaven had eyes or not. The result was very good, very perfect. When he breathed his last, I almost wanted to worship Heaven. Heaven has eyes—in the end, it is fair.” Having finished speaking, Xi Tong poured three cups of wine and devoutly offered them to Heaven.
“When I was in the Savage Mountains, I was also confused, especially after Dou Yanshan died. I buried him. At that time I was actually in a kind of sleepwalking state. If any venomous snakes or fierce beasts had come, I would have died too. But Heaven wouldn’t let me die. The venomous snakes and fierce beasts in the jungle all seemed to avoid me—not a single terrible creature appeared. Even leeches, which could be seen everywhere, seemed to have hidden. At that time I thought I was Heaven’s favored child, that I had the power of life and death over all things under heaven. It wasn’t until I saw that immensely huge sinkhole that I understood—I had just had dog’s luck. When the earth collapses, all beasts flee—this is common sense.”
“After leaving the Savage Mountains, I have a period of extremely beautiful memories. They comforted my heart—those joyful dances, beautiful songs, kind people, pure love. They smoothed over most of the towering murderous intent in my heart. As for what remained, I used it to send over two hundred people straight to their deaths. You know what? Not one person escaped from the trap I designed with the Mountain God’s drums. I also stripped away the remaining flesh from my savior’s skull and made it into a skeleton, preparing to bring it home to collect. I cursed Heaven loudly in the tornado, hoping it could take me back to where I came from, but they didn’t want me—no one wanted me! I’m the most pitiful orphan in the world…” Yun Ye started speaking coherently, but later, as he laughed, tears streamed down his face. The corners of his mouth still turned up, tears sliding past his lips, dripping from his chin. That smile was even more heartbreaking than crying.
Xi Tong handed Yun Ye a jar of wine, signaling him to drink. Through his tear-blurred eyes, Yun Ye vaguely saw the number twenty-eight on the wine jar. He pushed it aside and picked a jar marked with the number sixty. He broke open the clay seal and drank from the wine jar. After drinking less than half, he collapsed headfirst into the food dishes, knowing nothing more.
When the sun was high in the sky, Yun Ye finally crawled up. His head hurt as if ten thousand donkeys had trampled it. Resting his head on the table and rubbing his temples, he began to recover that blank section of memory from yesterday. Recalling what he had said at the end, he slapped himself twice on the face. Was it amusing to strip himself bare and expose everything in front of others?
A half-grown boy stuck his head in through the window. Seeing that Yun Ye had awakened, he shouted outside, “Father, Uncle Yun is awake! He’s rubbing his head.”
Xi Tong, his head full of grass stems, stuck his head in to take a look and said with a laugh, “This is the first time you didn’t play tricks while drinking. So in your family’s wine, the higher the number, the stronger it is. Now I know—next time if you try to fool me again, this old man will make you drink three jars of the highest-numbered wine. In your house, you really screwed me over. I always wondered how someone with your build, who clearly doesn’t have good alcohol tolerance, could drink against me like that. Every time, I was the one who ended up drunk.”
“Quickly forget what I told you yesterday, or I’ll kill you to silence you. You know how nobles silence people—they’re inhuman. I just killed over two hundred people—I’m a demon king who kills without blinking.”
“What demon king! You wailed half the night feeling guilty about killing a few people. You’re a general—your job is to kill people. What’s there to feel guilty about? Only two hundred—when I was killing mountain bandits, blood stained my entire body red. The world outside won’t be much better than your Savage Mountains. If I had to choose, I’d rather choose the Savage Mountains than go outside to suffer. Hurry up and finish your business so we can travel together to the ends of heaven and earth.”
“What ends? If you keep walking in one direction, after a few years you’ll find yourself back where you started. If you don’t believe it, try it. If we set out south from Chang’an in the future, we’ll definitely return to Chang’an in the end—just like a donkey pulling a millstone. I won’t do such a stupid thing.”
“Such a thing exists? Then doesn’t that mean the saying about going south when you want to go north is actually correct?” Xi Tong’s face was full of doubt.
“Of course it’s correct. Only idiots who know nothing think that allusion is mocking stupid people. Actually, whoever laughs at it is the stupid one.”
Wearing only an undershirt, he immersed his head in warm water. Only when he was nearly suffocated did he blow a few bubbles and lift his head, gasping for air. He had a wonderful feeling of coming back to life. He didn’t dare delay any longer. Li Er in the capital was eagerly awaiting the treasures, preparing to give those nobles a good stimulation. Right now, Li Er’s greatest guilty pleasure was watching them suffer.
After drinking a bowl of porridge, Liu Jinbao helped Yun Ye put on his armor, preparing to leave. Xi Tong was busy using a pitchfork to spread out the hay for drying. He just smiled and waved at him, then continued with his farm work.
Knowing that Xi Tong disliked sentimental farewells, and that he himself disliked them too, Yun Ye patted the heads of a few children, said a word of care to the women who came out to see him off, then mounted Wang Cai and returned to camp.
A good day—leaving the truth in Hebei, returning to Chang’an light and unburdened to continue hypocritically maneuvering among the nobles wasn’t bad either. People always need moments of sincerity. If you fake it long enough, the fake can become real—that’s a kind of state. He hadn’t yet reached the level of making falsehood true.
Riding on his horse, he plucked another dogtail grass stem and held it in his mouth. Just as he closed his eyes to savor the fresh grass flavor, a desolate and heroic song seemed to come from behind: “Pray Heaven protect us suffering men…”