Yun Ye stood at the bow with his arms spread wide, making flying motions against the wind. His swollen cheeks had quietly subsided, and the boils on the back of his head had healed without medicine. Having just taken a hot bath and wearing light robes, he had a feeling of floating like an immortal.
Wind rushed in through his open collar and drilled out from his crotch—truly one of life’s great pleasures. Just as he was feeling lightheaded and carefree, a pleasure boat passed by. A brocade-clad man pointed at Yun Ye and laughed heartily, with two seductive women nestled in his arms, giggling away.
Laughing was fine—no big deal. Yun Ye knew his actions just now had been foolishly excessive. The problem was this fellow was also throwing fruit pits at him—that was too much. Yun Ye rode a military vessel. Ordinary people usually gave them wide berth. Now the river surface was broad—you go your way, I go mine, with no interference. Even if one saw something laughable and laughed a bit, it was harmless. But seeing it was a warship and deliberately provoking—that was courting death.
Yun Ye looked carefully—he didn’t recognize him. That was excellent. He had met all the notable wastrels of the Great Tang, but had never seen this one. How could he not teach him a lesson? Did the navy still want face or not?
The fellow on the opposite boat laughed even more wantonly, actually ripping off a woman’s garment and exposing a pair of pale white breasts in broad daylight. Even stranger, that woman shamelessly thrust out her chest even higher on purpose, laughing even more wantonly.
The naval soldiers’ eyes were practically shooting fire. They all turned to watch how Yun Ye would respond. With a superior officer present, it wasn’t their turn to speak.
Yun Ye pulled off the cover of the eight-ox ballista at the bow and shouted, “Come, a few people help this marquis draw the bow!”
Immediately a group of strong men ran over and quickly drew the eight-ox ballista open. Eight giant barbed bolts filled the arrow slot. Dongyu had already stripped down to just a cloth strip, ready to board the enemy vessel at any moment.
Only then did the people across realize something was wrong. Unfortunately, wanting to flee was already too late. A steward-like fellow quickly unfurled a princely banner. Yun Ye looked carefully—it turned out to be Prince Lu, Li Yuanzhang. This bastard had already fallen out badly with him over the matter of Chengxin last time. Now, having changed clothes, he had almost failed to recognize him.
As soon as this princely banner was raised, the soldiers looked at each other in dismay. They couldn’t read, but they recognized that four-clawed yellow dragon banner—this was a banner only a prince could have. Offending him was a capital crime, because the princely banner and the prince were inseparable. The person opposite could only be Li Yuanzhang.
Li Yuanzhang across the way thought he had already intimidated these crude soldiers. He stuck his head out from behind the parapet again, pointing at the military vessel and cursing viciously. Those two women were still cheering him on.
Yun Ye picked at his ear and turned to Wu She: “Consort Sun—is she still alive?”
Wu She said expressionlessly, “Alive, but hasn’t seen the Great Emperor for five or six years.” Yun Ye nodded, first aiming the eight-ox ballista’s bolts at Li Yuanzhang, then taking a wooden mallet from a soldier’s hands, preparing to release the arrows.
Li Yuanzhang retracted his head again. Under Hong Cheng’s worried gaze, Yun Ye struck the mechanism with one hammer blow. I’m currently worried the trouble I’m causing isn’t big enough. Chengqian and Qingque both said they were bullied terribly by this bastard when they were young, especially Qingque, who could be said to hate this fellow to the bone. When Li Er returned from the front lines, he gave Qingque a hunting dog as a birthday gift. Who knew Li Yuanzhang would see it and insist on seizing it. At that time, Prince Qin Li Er couldn’t afford to provoke the Crown Prince and Prince Qi. Zhangsun gave the dog to Li Yuanzhang, but who knew this fellow would actually kill the dog, skin it, make dog meat, and send it to Qingque—scaring Qingque into wetting the bed for several months. This was all told to Yun Ye by Li Chengqian during idle chat. So Yun Ye believed that as long as he didn’t kill Li Yuanzhang, there would be no consequences.
The ballista bolts pierced into the pleasure boat with ear-splitting whistling sounds. How could the flimsy pleasure boat withstand such deadly weapons? In an instant, the entire pleasure boat was groaning. The small tower on top collapsed with a thunderous crash. Disheveled Li Yuanzhang shouted at the top of his lungs, “I am Prince Lu! Yun Ye, you have such audacity! This prince will exterminate your nine generations!”
Yun Ye curled his lips and spat, saying to the soldiers, “Load the catapults for me. If I don’t smash his broken boat into wood splinters today, I’m not Yun Ye! Damn it, do you think my reputation as one of Chang’an’s Three Scourges is fake?”
The soldiers continued preparing the catapults for the marquis. Each loaded the largest stones into bamboo baskets. As soon as Yun Ye severed the traction rope, winter-melon-sized stones would fly across. It would be impossible for that pleasure boat not to become splinters.
“Mister Wu She, won’t Marquis Yun get into trouble doing this? After all, Li Yuanzhang is a prince.”
“Hong Cheng, since you and I aren’t as clever as Marquis Yun, we should stand aside and watch the show properly. Clever people sometimes do foolish things, but Marquis Yun won’t. He has a sense of proportion. Didn’t you see that those ballista bolts just now shot into the empty tower? This shows Marquis Yun has no intention of killing anyone. This is one of his strategies. Watch—Li Yuanzhang will definitely suffer in this matter. Marquis Yun might even gain some benefit from it.”
Preparing the catapults was slow and required time. Li Yuanzhang saw the soldiers heave-ho-ing as they pushed the catapults over. With a strange cry, he turned tail and ran. Now he was certain the leader opposite was a complete madman—daring to use the eight-ox ballista meant he’d dare use catapults. While they were preparing, he lowered a small boat, jumped onto it himself, and urged his guards to row quickly and flee this terrifying place. Those two gaudily-dressed women desperately begged the prince to take them along too, but Li Yuanzhang was busy saving his own life—how could he care about them?
The catapults were in position. With a sinister smile, Yun Ye cut the restraining rope. Large stones smashed down from the top of the pleasure boat. Amid thunderous crashes, the pleasure boat was already severely tilted. It probably wouldn’t be long before it sank.
The servants of Prince Lu’s mansion hiding far away at the bow jumped ship one after another to save themselves, leaving only two women sprawled at the bow crying loudly, begging others to take them along too.
“Dongyu, bring those two women over. We’re venting anger, not killing people.”
With eyes gleaming, Dongyu tied a rope around his waist and plunged into the river. In a few strokes he reached the side of the pleasure boat. Like a monkey, he climbed aboard, tucked the two women under his arms, and before the pleasure boat sank, jumped back into the canal. The soldiers on the warship pulled on the rope and hauled him back. Dongyu floated over with the rope, grinning strangely, his large hands groping at the two women’s ample bosoms, kneading them from time to time—making the other soldiers swallow hard.
As soon as Dongyu climbed aboard the warship, Yun Ye ordered them to violently bombard the pleasure boat with catapults, smashing it to splinters so that even when it sank, it wouldn’t affect the safety of the shipping channel.
Stones rained down, thoroughly smashing a luxurious and beautiful pleasure boat into wood fragments that drifted downstream, along with some colorful women’s garments, trunks, and other miscellaneous items.
The two women boarded the ship and knelt on the deck, kowtowing desperately, only hoping Yun Ye would spare their lives.
“Are you consorts from the princely mansion?” Yun Ye was very curious to know whether Li Yuanzhang had the guts to make his concubines stand bare-chested in front of people.
“Reporting to the military lord, this humble one is not a consort of Prince Lu’s mansion. We are singing girls from the Ten Thousand Flowers House. Just now it was the prince who made us do that—it has nothing to do with us! Military lord, spare our lives!”
So they were two courtesans. Yun Ye immediately lost interest. He gave the two singing girls two strings of cash and had someone row them ashore in a small boat, then kicked Dongyu twice in the leg as punishment.
Li Yuanzhang’s small boat had already reached shore, surrounded by a few dripping wet guards. He was jumping up and down cursing on the bank. Yun Ye aimed the loaded eight-ox ballista at Li Yuanzhang again. Li Yuanzhang was pressed down flat by his guards and crawled down the embankment, writhing like an earthworm.
“The marquis is mighty!” Every soldier who saw Yun Ye stood properly and respectfully shouted this phrase. The military was like this—face came first, life came second. When one’s commanding officer was strong, the soldiers under him would straighten their backs, and their courage in marching and fighting would increase several fold. The commanding officer’s character determined a unit’s state. A fierce commanding officer meant few cowards under his command. Previously, the navy was not valued in the military, with a status like supply troops, always an object of mockery. Now with a fierce marquis, they also had glory on their faces. They only hoped the marquis would always be their commanding officer. Then everyone would lack neither military merit nor wealth.
The triumphant Yun Ye whistled as he prepared to return to his cabin for a nap. Wu She appeared ghost-like behind him and said in a strange tone, “The marquis is mighty! But after this display of might, how do you plan to clean up this situation?”
“Clean up what situation? Li Yuanzhang actually dared to return to the capital—clearly looking for trouble. I have an excellent student named Li Tai, Li Qingque. Since childhood he suffered countless humiliations, more than half of which were related to Li Yuanzhang. As soon as I send word by fast horse to student Li Qingque that his enemy has returned to the capital, do you think Li Yuanzhang will still have the energy to trouble me?”
Wu She’s eyes went round. He said, “What an excellent strategy of substituting the plum for the peach! Pretend I never said what I just said.” While praising, he shook his head and returned to his own room to continue educating the worried Hong Cheng.
Seeing Wu She return, Hong Cheng hurriedly approached and asked, “What did the marquis say? How does he plan to respond? Li Yuanzhang will surely weep and complain to His Majesty. Using military weapons, smashing someone’s boat to smithereens, nearly killing people, and on the prosperous canal no less! If it had been in an uninhabited place, we could have eliminated them all. But now under everyone’s eyes, what can be done?”
Wu She picked up his teapot, took a gulp of tea, and said to Hong Cheng, “Good heavens! This old man has only now discovered how vast the difference is between clever people and stupid people. The same matter—a clever person will handle it so that people feel refreshed like a spring breeze, while a stupid person will always bungle things, making them bloody and still claiming it’s for his master’s good. His Majesty sending you to Lingnan was truly not unjust at all. I really don’t know how His Majesty endured you all these years. This old man has spent three months with you and already wants to kick you back to Lingnan. His Majesty truly treats you old friends extraordinarily well, beyond words.”
Hong Cheng was stunned for a long while, then let out a breath and said, “Since when did you start calling yourself ‘this old man’? Previously you always called yourself ‘this servant.’ These many days, I’ve never actually thought of you as a eunuch. Why is this?”