Refusing to accept defeat, Li’er summoned Li You and Li An overnight from the academy and had them complete the questions in front of himself, Fang Xuanling, Du Ruhui, and Zhangsun Wuji. He didn’t say these were the grand examination questions, only claiming he wanted to test his sons’ studies.
After the two melancholy-looking youths opened the papers, they became calm. The brothers exchanged glances, and the four adults clearly saw the secret delight in their eyes. Li’er sighed inwardly—Qing Que was right, these questions probably wouldn’t stump them.
Sure enough, they finished in half an hour. Li An even specifically refuted the last question, arguing that focusing only on tax revenue was irresponsible toward the Great Tang’s realm. Li You properly listed all the various functions the government should perform, very humbly saying this was just his humble opinion.
The four monarch and ministers sat in the dim candlelight without saying a word, while Li An and Li You cheerfully took their father’s rewards and went to the rear palace to visit their mothers.
Watching his two sons depart through the doorway, Li’er said with a bitter smile: “These are my two most unruly sons! Xuanling, Keming, Wuji, look—although Li You and Li An’s answers to those two policy questions were immature, they were still proper and correct. As for the other questions on mathematics, astronomy, and geography—not a single error. Qing Que and Ke’er think doing such questions is an insult to them. Xuanling, your youngest son Yiai is also at the academy—I imagine he wouldn’t find them difficult either. Keming, Du He is at the academy, and I hear his grades are better than these two rebellious sons of mine. Wuji’s fourth and fifth sons are also at the academy—they too would find our questions very simple. Forget this examination—I don’t want thirteen or fourteen-year-old children from the academy flooding into the court to become officials.”
“Your Majesty, try testing the renowned scholars from the Institute of Scholarly Worthies to see exactly how great the difference in learning is between the academy and other students. Then we can devise countermeasures. We ministers will also take the papers home, find more people to complete them, and see the results.”
Fang Xuanling immediately saw the problem. Academy students had extremely precise grasp of mathematics, astronomy, geography, and worldly wisdom, but their traditional policy essays, classical language, historical allusions, and poetry were still within expectations. This examination favored practical application subjects, compressing the space for traditional knowledge, which created the illusory spectacle of academy disciples shining brilliantly on this set of questions. Of course, a prodigy like Li Tai couldn’t be counted—his policy essays made even Old Fang applaud enthusiastically.
Li’er returned to his bedchamber full of worry, deciding not to visit other consorts but going directly to the Empress’s residence. Zhangsun was holding their young daughter, coaxing her to sleep. Seeing this scene, Li’er consciously sat in a chair drinking tea, waiting until the child fell asleep before preparing to speak with Zhangsun.
The little daughter finally fell asleep. Zhangsun placed her inside the gauze curtains and instructed the wet nurse to watch her carefully, then came to the front hall, retrieved some pastries from the side kitchen, and placed them on the table.
“Erlang, eat something. These cakes have no sugar—Master Sun said you should eat less sweets.”
“How can I have the appetite to eat? Those two rebellious sons Li An and Li You both solved the difficult questions I personally created. If they took the grand examination, they would certainly pass.”
Zhangsun looked at Li’er in astonishment. She couldn’t believe that with those two boys’ temperaments, they could easily solve the difficult questions her husband created. But this surprise lasted only a moment before she laughed and said: “People often say there are no worthless sons of outstanding fathers. Your sons solving questions you created is not something unbelievable. You should be happy that the children have progressed—why are you frowning?”
“Two years of academy education equals my ten years of effort. Now when have you ever heard of Li You or Li An causing trouble? Before, they would commit those teeth-chilling errors, but now when they return to the palace, they either accompany their mothers or properly tour Chang’an. The teachers in the palace who test their learning all look at them with new respect. This shows there are indeed problems with imperial education.”
“Your Majesty is blaming this consort then. Failing to properly teach the children is this consort’s fault.” Zhangsun was also somewhat confused. The changes in Li You and Li An could be called earth-shattering. Arrogance, cruelty, viciousness, womanizing—they hadn’t committed any of these faults. Although they hadn’t apologized to the palace maids and eunuchs they’d previously bullied, they had given them much silver as compensation. Now, without their former evil reputations, no one would connect these two refined youths with those wicked deeds. For this, Consort Yin had eaten vegetarian food for a full year to thank the Buddha.
“I’m not blaming you. Even I didn’t expect such changes. When Yun Ye initially said to leave them to the academy and we mustn’t interfere—not even question strange occurrences—then came the incident of Yun Ye changing Li You’s heart. Li An was bound to a pillar, claiming he personally witnessed Yun Ye splitting open Li You’s chest, digging out his heart, and replacing it with a large sheep’s heart. Although Liu Xian explained the whole cause and effect thoroughly to me, I still don’t understand—if it was fake, why was there such an obvious change?”
“Yun Ye said ‘dwell long in a room of orchids and you cease to notice their fragrance,’ using this phrase to deflect me. Now thinking back, that bastard was cursing me, because this phrase has a preceding line: ‘Dwell long in a shop of rotten fish and you cease to notice the stench.’ Boy, daring to call my palace a shop of rotten fish! When you return, I’ll throw you into a shop of rotten fish. The charge is ready-made—assaulting a prince. Consort Sun’s crying is annoying anyway—let Li Yuanzhang have his moment of triumph.”
“Your Majesty, that’s not appropriate! Yun Ye suffered greatly this time, risking death to transport grain and find treasures for you—great merit to the nation. To punish him as soon as he returns wouldn’t be proper.”
“It is a bit inappropriate. Then I’ll wait until he makes another mistake and punish him for both together. He always makes mistakes anyway. I can easily catch his tail. Heh heh heh…”
When Li’er said these words, Yun Ye was squatting on the boat using chopsticks to fish out food from the pot—standard boiled fish. A thick layer of red oil floated on top of the pot, green peppercorn clusters emanated intense fragrance, and white fish meat tumbled in the pot. Hong Cheng held chopsticks in his mouth, just waiting for the moment the fish was cooked.
“If you dare put those chopsticks from your mouth into the pot, I’ll upend the entire pot on your head.” Yun Ye issued the sternest warning to Hong Cheng. This fellow always acted recklessly when eating, abandoning all etiquette. He Zhongwu was much more refined, preparing his own oil bowl according to Yun Ye’s instructions. Wu She also sat properly upright with two pairs of chopsticks before him, ready to strike at any moment.
The pot boiled. Yun Ye had barely eaten one piece when Wu She had already ladled himself a full bowl. Hong Cheng wasn’t to be outdone, huffing and puffing from the heat but not stopping. Even He Zhongwu took two large pieces for himself.
The pot was already empty, so they could only pour in more from the fish platter beside them, preparing the next batch.
“My lord, this is the most delicious thing this humble official has eaten in his lifetime. We Guanzhong people don’t usually like eating fish—accustomed to beef and mutton, we can’t get used to these refined things. To have missed such delicacy is truly regrettable!” After speaking, he fished out another piece from his bowl and continued the battle.
“After returning home this time, I won’t go out again no matter what anyone says. I’ve nearly circled the entire border of the Great Tang. Others tour famous mountains and great rivers, composing poetry and singing loudly. Only I go wherever misfortune strikes. I haven’t even visited most of the good places in Guanzhong—what a loss! So after getting home, I’ll first sleep my head off till the world turns upside down, then properly stay home with my wife and children. My concubine is about to give birth, and at this time I’m still drifting on a boat—truly improper. What does a person really want in this lifetime? When is it ever enough? I’m satisfied—I have high office and generous salary, beautiful wife and lovely concubines. I’ve done my utmost for the Great Tang, so I plan to retire at thirty and properly enjoy my life. Wu She, you’ve already passed seventy—why not take advantage of this great merit and retreat with me into the Qinling Mountains to muddle through, finishing out this lifetime, lest you discover on your deathbed that you lived too unjustly.”
“Marquis Yun’s words are true reasoning. This old man will petition His Majesty upon returning, hoping to receive approval. Lately, this old man increasingly wishes to wander leisurely among forests and springs—fishing, feeding birds, playing chess. These things old people should know, yet this old man is completely ignorant of them all. To only begin living in old age—such a flavor encompasses all tastes indeed.”
Hearing Wu She’s words, Yun Ye nodded, fished out a piece of fish and put it in his bowl, then looked at the awkward-faced He Zhongwu and said: “You want to develop in an official career—there’s nothing wrong with that. Why be embarrassed? You know the mountains, rivers, and customs of the Japanese islands like the back of your hand—precisely when the court needs you to exert great effort. Work harder. The Japanese nation is very special. You must pay more attention to their movements. Their current humility is preparation for future arrogance. Although this time may be quite long, they absolutely must not be underestimated.”
“We three have all experienced many things and just want to leisurely muddle through this lifetime. You shouldn’t settle for less. Continue advancing toward your goal.”
He Zhongwu cupped his hands in thanks and said no more. Wu She glanced at the riverbank and said to Yun Ye: “Prince Lu won’t give up! His assassins are following us along the riverbank. Should we capture them?”
Hong Cheng laughed slyly: “It would be best if Prince Lu attacked our treasure ship—then we could grind him down bit by bit until not even bone fragments remained. But this gutless villain probably only thinks of reporting us. Now he’s just monitoring us.”
“Where are they? Why can’t I see them? The soldiers keeping watch on the mast haven’t seen them either.”
“Just some third-rate tricks. If my lord wishes to see, that’s not difficult. Watch this old man.” Wu She came to the bow, held the giant crossbow that was already loaded, braced it against his shoulder, aimed at the pitch-black riverbank and shot an arrow. The bowstring had barely made its humming sound when a scream came from the riverbank, along with some chaotic footsteps.
Wu She listened intently for a while, put down the giant crossbow, and said to Yun Ye: “Those flies ran away. One of them was hit in the chest and abdomen by me—probably won’t survive. To dare spy with the army present—truly tired of living.”