HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 34: Hungry Ghost at the Door

Chapter 34: Hungry Ghost at the Door

Dark clouds hung low over Chang’an City. Pedestrians on the roads hurried along with hasty steps. Even the servants in blue clothes and small caps spoke in voices three parts quieter. Li Er’s imperial authority enveloped this enormous city, preventing anyone from showing a happy face.

The lowest-level commoners were actually the calmest. Although they were somewhat tense, they absolutely didn’t have that feeling of impending disaster that the great households had. In this city of Chang’an, they had witnessed too many power transitions, rises and falls, honors and disgraces. If they woke up the next day and discovered the Emperor had changed, they wouldn’t be too surprised. They cared far more about changes in wages than changes in the court.

Yun Ye lay lazily in his room. Xinyue and Na Rimu worked hard massaging his body. More than a month of outdoor life had added some muscle definition to his fair shoulders and back. As for the strange cries Yun Ye made, the two women remained unmoved. No matter what, as long as this man returned, all was well.

He placed his hand on Xinyue’s plump buttocks and pinched. She slapped his hand. The small gesture was seen by Na Rimu, who felt her husband was very pitiful. She grabbed her husband’s hand and placed it on her own buttocks, still giggling at Xinyue…

What happened in the Qinling Mountains couldn’t be hidden from people. Jinge Temple had thirty-seven monks die; Yuntai Temple had fourteen Daoists die. The government’s answer was that they were pursuing the culprits.

However, it was heard that the Ministry of Justice’s most experienced case-solving expert had been dispatched far away to Yanzhou to investigate a case of man-eating tigers. So the task of investigating the deaths of clergy was assigned to a newly promoted constable. It was said he was also a fierce person named He Tianshang. Supposedly, he had a pair of yin-yang eyes—the left eye seeing yang, the right eye seeing yin. Countless villains had been sent to the execution grounds by him.

A flower thief who accidentally picked the wrong flower was pursued by him for three thousand li. Finally, he was captured in the land of Hedong. But by the time he was sent back to Chang’an, this flower thief no longer looked human. Of his five limbs, three were gone. Of eyes, ears, and nose, only a few holes remained. He had even magnanimously pleaded for the flower thief, requesting the government spare him the death penalty and change it to imprisonment, moreover exempt from amnesty pardons.

Every year on that little girl’s death anniversary, He Tianshang would use iron chains to lead the naked flower thief to pay respects at the little girl’s grave. Each time he would parade through the streets. This had continued for three years. The result of doing this was that flower thieves in the Chang’an market had become extinct.

Now this iron-blooded constable stood under the Yun family’s corridor, having submitted a calling card requesting to see Marquis Yun. The steward thought it too disgraceful—where was there a marquis who received constables? He casually placed the card in the gatehouse, told him to wait, and went to the neighboring courtyard to find the accountant for drinking and chess.

He Tianshang knew what kind of treatment he would encounter, so he wasn’t anxious. Standing like a javelin in front of the Yun residence, he waited for Marquis Yun’s summons. From morning until sunset, the side door of the Yun residence never opened. Only servants and maids went in and out through the back door. Everyone treated him as nonexistent. Some servants passing by him even glanced contemptuously, finding this person very annoying.

When the street-clearing drum sounded, He Tianshang clasped his hands toward the main gate, then turned and left. The servants hiding behind the main gate watching him through the door crack laughed mockingly at this petty official who didn’t know the immensity of heaven and earth.

Living in Chang’an was annoying. Whether you wanted it or not, the market-opening drum always drilled into your ears. Yun Ye painfully opened his eyes, peeled off a leg from his waist, then removed an arm from his neck. Na Rimu always slept dishonestly. Xinyue lay naked on the innermost side, quite pitifully without a blanket, could only curl up into a ball. In this world, when it came to snatching blankets, Na Rimu was absolutely the top expert. His own blanket was under the bed, Xinyue’s blanket was under her body, and now half of Yun Ye’s blanket was also on her.

Yun Ye scratched his head. He remembered last night when they went to sleep, Xinyue was in the middle. Why had the middle become Na Rimu’s place? Xinyue was against the wall, one of Na Rimu’s feet was still stepping on Xinyue’s back, and half his own body was outside the bed—one roll and he’d fall off.

He quickly pulled back Na Rimu’s leg, then covered Xinyue with the blanket. If he waited until Xinyue woke up, Na Rimu wouldn’t have good days ahead.

The movement of covering with the blanket was a bit loud. Xinyue yawned and also woke up. Opening her eyes to see Yun Ye covering her with the blanket, she smiled and said “Husband.”

“The sun is still early. Sleep a bit more. Last night was too tiring. I’ll go tell the kitchen to prepare some porridge for you to drink.” Yun Ye touched Xinyue’s hair to comfort her. Xinyue shrank her neck and giggled, probably also recalling last night’s absurdity, feeling somewhat shy.

After picking his teeth with a willow twig, chewing a piece of orange peel to freshen his breath, and washing his face clean, only then did he energetically prepare to greet the new day. Appropriate exercise was still very beneficial. Last night’s absurdity had continued until the third watch, yet today he was still vigorous as a dragon and fierce as a tiger. Very good.

Chasing away the maid who brought food, he himself carried the wooden tray, preparing for the family of three to have a romantic breakfast in bed. Upon entering, he knew his desire to be romantic was pure wishful thinking. Xinyue was riding on Na Rimu’s waist, using her palm to spank Na Rimu’s buttocks. Na Rimu bit her teeth and didn’t cry out. Xinyue’s hand was very heavy—there were already handprints on the buttocks.

“Alright, alright. Isn’t it just stealing your blanket? As for always bullying her.” Yun Ye put the tray on the table with a headache, lifted Xinyue off Na Rimu’s body, picked up her green bra from the floor and handed it to her. Na Rimu had an aggrieved expression, wanting Yun Ye to dress her.

Watching Yun Ye help Na Rimu dress, Xinyue said through gritted teeth: “Just keep indulging her. Now she’s becoming increasingly without rules. Last night she refused to leave the bed, and kicked me all night. If she hadn’t stolen the blanket and kicked me, I wouldn’t have known. I thought my back pain was from catching cold. You even covered me with the blanket early in the morning to cover for her. Hmph, one day she’ll climb on your head to sleep.”

“So what if my wife sleeps on my head? As long as I don’t complain of neck pain, what’s the problem? If you’re capable, you come too.”

Seeing Yun Ye scold Xinyue, Na Rimu was pleased, rested her head in Yun Ye’s embrace acting pampered, and stretched out her long leg toward Xinyue, wiggling her toes. This time it was over. Xinyue grabbed the long leg and viciously pinched Na Rimu’s buttocks several times.

Dressing took half a shichen. Clearly, each time it was Na Rimu who suffered losses, yet she still insisted on provoking Xinyue. Even after being hit, she enjoyed it tirelessly. Couldn’t understand a woman’s thoughts. But breakfast had all gone cold.

Xinyue called for maids to bring hot food again. Yun Ye never ate reheated food—after years of marriage, they understood clearly. Now the title of Young Master Yun had long belonged to Yun Baobao. The two-year-old child had just learned to walk. Upon arriving in the main hall, he foolishly performed courtesies to his parents. Seeing him with hands clasped at his chest, sticking out his buttocks, Yun Ye’s heart ached unbearably. He held him in his arms, took a meat bun and was about to feed his son. Xinyue angrily pushed away her husband’s hand, saying: “The child is still small. He can’t eat those things.”

“Nonsense! When I was two years old, my master fed me meat bones. Although there was no meat, gnawing bones was to train teeth. Which family’s child at two years old still drinks milk? From now on, no more.”

As soon as the words were spoken, the wet nurse who had followed Yun Baobao for two years immediately had tears streaming down. In fact, even until now Yun Ye hadn’t figured out why women of this era had two or three years of nursing periods. Back then, his own child only drank milk for one year. At two years old, vegetables, rice, and big fish and meat started being served. Yun Baobao was still drinking milk now—how strange could it be?

Out of respect for the wet nurse, Yun Ye said: “Lady Han, you needn’t be sad. The child is just not drinking milk anymore. The lady nursed this child for nearly a year, you also nursed for a year. The lady is his mother—that’s as it should be. But the Yun family won’t forget your kindness. As long as you like, continue caring for this child as he grows. But milk needn’t be fed anymore. From now on, Yun family children’s nursing time cannot exceed one and a half years. Once teeth grow, they should eat meals.”

Since Yun Ye said this in the main hall, even if Xinyue and Na Rimu were unwilling, they could only nod in agreement and would strictly comply in the future. This was determined by the authoritative nature of the family head’s rights.

Yun Baobao probably also didn’t like drinking milk anymore. That stuff had no flavor at all—where was it as satisfying as eating a big meat bun? Although it was only a bun skin, he still ate it with relish, and kept eyeing the millet porridge in his father’s bowl.

The daughter was still small. After Yun Ye held her for a while, he changed two sets of clothes. Although Yun Ye didn’t mind, Xinyue absolutely wouldn’t allow a marquis reeking of urine to appear on Chang’an’s main streets.

After finishing the meal, Yun Ye read books in the courtyard. The academy had sent Professor Yuanzhang’s “Textual Research on Characters.” This book’s purpose was to overturn the legend of Cangjie creating characters. He believed current characters all came from life. Perhaps Cangjie processed and organized them, but the appearance of characters definitely predated his era.

He had made comparative research using oracle bone script, bronze inscriptions, large seal script, small seal script, clerical script, up to current various scripts. Listing out the same characters one by one, one could see a clear developmental trajectory. Truly remarkable. It was a good book.

The academy now always had new books appearing. Zhao Yanling took a sum of money, hired many people, and at different locations and the same time observed celestial phenomena. He discovered that celestial phenomena seen in Lingnan were different from those seen in the North Sea, so he also pretentiously had a book printed for himself called “Treatise on Celestial Phenomena.” This was a book that besides him, no one could understand. Yun Ye didn’t understand either. Zhao Yanling said that Lu Shou, Lu Zi’an, who originally debated with him about the “Gan Shi Star Classic,” might understand. Unfortunately, such an accomplished person was angered to death by Yun Ye, vomiting blood. Too regrettable—the world lost another kindred spirit.

Closing the scroll, tapping his head with it, looking at the tall stack of books on the table, his heart was full of pride. These were all the academy’s recent achievements. Yun Ye required that the academy’s works not pursue refining language to the extreme, no need to save on printing labor or show off one’s learning. Explaining matters clearly first was most important. He absolutely wouldn’t allow idiotic introductions like “Accumulate wood, connect cart, spinning wheel complete” to appear. Who the hell could know from these seven characters how a spinning wheel was manufactured?

The academy now even printed announcements. Using such language again would be insulting people. Professor Li Gang and Professor Yuanzhang also greatly approved, believing that writing books was for people to read. If you wanted to spread the knowledge you knew, and you wrote it shrouded in clouds and mist, who could understand? The more straightforward the writing, the more the audience. Wasn’t it good for knowledge to spread?

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